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 Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 12:50 pm
Bereck gave a satisfied nod. "Good girl. I'll have a word with their Weyrhealer if I need to, make sure you're added to work and class rotas properly. Of course, once I'm working again we'll start up our classes again...." Humm, actually, that was a thought. "Though actually, there's nothing to prevent us working on theory as things stand. None of my other apprentices have stayed, I don't know if you gathered; they've gone to Healer Hall. I gather their decision had more to do with their families then with them, they didn't want their children living in Weyrs that have apparently become so dangerous.... But in any case they've gone, whatever the reason." He would miss them; he always grew attached to personal apprentices, but he could understand why their families had wanted to take them away especially after hearing about Sessie....
"So for now you're my own dedicated Apprentice," Bereck went on, trying and failing to keep the sadness from his face and voice. He then cleared his throat and added; "At least that means we can brush up quickly on theory that you might have lapsed in, and start to make some progress."
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 12:56 pm
Becka nodded, she didn't blame the other apprentices but healing was the most important thing to Becka and she'd been determined to see Bereck well again, he was, in some way, still her patient and she was dedicated to her work. Sure she missed her family but when she was Journeywoman, she was sure she could go and see them. In the meantime she had Nightling, perhaps when the green was trained enough she could send letters. She tried not to think of Sessie... the girl had been her best friend, she wasn't sure she could do as well without her.
"my own dedicated apprentice"
Becka didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing but she heard the sorrow in his voice and gave his hand an understanding squeeze. "Whenever the Healers clear you for it i'll be right there Master" she smiled, she didn't blame Bereck for 'not saving Sessie' ... he'd almost DIED trying to save her, WOULD have died if Becka hadn't been there, not that she thought about her role in saving him much beyond knowing what she had done wrong.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 1:05 pm
At least he still had one of them, even if he was sad to lose most of the others and... and Sessie. He should have been able to do more. Exactly what he could have done he didn't know but the feeling of failure and the grief were painfully potent.
"Well, at least I still have one of you," Bereck said after a brief silence, giving another rather weak smile. "We'll start on some theory together once you have your new schedule," he decided aloud, once again trying to pull his mind back from things that hurt. "Anything you're finding challenging on the theory side we'll work together on, and perhaps we can cover some extras too. We'll see how much time we have." Having something to do that was actually useful would be a relief; he was tired of just sitting or lying here feeling like a burden to everyone. Training the firelizards was a distraction but it wasn't work and he didn't know what to do with himself if he wasn't working, didn't feel like himself if he wasn't working; it was as much a part of who he was as his dragon and his son.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 1:10 pm
Becka blushed again "I think.... i need to go over large wound care" she admitted, her voice quiet. She also needed to DO something, which was why she'd done so much inventory, at least the Infirmary was well organised in that respect, she knew what needed ordering and what they had too much of.
"Master... Bereck, i'm glad you're with us again, i'll work on getting them to find a chair so you can be wheeled outside without having to move much" she said with a nod, determined to get Bereck out to see Berath, they needed each other, needed to touch each other rather than just talk. She didn't understand just how hard it was on Dragon and Rider to be so close, yet apart.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 1:20 pm
Bereck visibly cringed at Becka's suggestion about the chair. The thought of being seen like that made his insides twist and he found himself unable to meet his apprentice's gaze. "Well. We'll see," he managed, his voice low and tight. "A kind offer." It probably made sense but it made him feel sick. Proud patients always were the worst, weren't they? He couldn't help it though, even knowing he was being a fool it was just an idea he couldn't stomach.
What had they been talking about before? It had completely slipped his mind. Oh, right, lessons. "We'll... we'll work on that then." Bereck cleared his throat and made himself look up again. "We can start tomorrow, if you haven't already been scheduled into any shifts."
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 1:55 pm
Becka held back a chuckle at Bereck's grimmace. "It's only so you can see Berath safely" she said, fighting to keep the amusement from her tone. She knew he'd hate the suggestion but honestly it was the only way he'd get to see Berath anytime soon.
She politely said nothing as he changed the subject. "I can come after shifts even if i have Master Bereck Sir, i don't really go far" she said, not adding that the only time she left the infirmary was when she'd been trying to avoid him. She slept on one of the spare cots, or failing that she'd bunch some blankets and sleep on the floor unless forced out to find a bed. The only other time she left was when she went to wash herself properly, keeping herself clean only helped to keep patients clean. One of the very first lessons Bereck had taught her.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 2:05 pm
She was right, but he wished she didn't sound as if she found it funny. That stung, and made him feel even more foolish than he had about his reservations than he had before. Was it really so stupid of him to desperately cling onto the last shreds of dignity he had after needing help with everything for so long? Did he really have to flaunt the fact that he couldn't take care of himself, much less anyone else, to the whole world? He didn't want to. He wanted to hide away here until he could at least stand by himself, and walk with somebody's arm to lean on.
Trying not to show how humiliated he abruptly felt Bereck nodded. "Alright then. Whenever you have time. It's not like I have a packed schedule to work around at the moment." At least he could do this, at least he would be of some use again. Maybe that would make the rest of it easier to swallow.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 2:12 pm
Becka, if she had known how humiliated she'd made Bereck feel, would have felt absolutely terrible but she was too pleased to get back into being taught and she mistook his tone as something else, or ignored it without thinking. "As soon as i know my shifts i'll come" she said, "Is there anything you need Master Bereck?" she asked "anything i can get you.. or your flits?" Nightling chirred on Becka's shoulder again and rubbed her head against her cheek. Becka was glad she wasn't being a pest like some of the flits she'd seen around the Weyr.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 2:17 pm
Let it go.
Bereck tired to push out his stupid, weak, self-pitying feelings along with a steady exhale.
"No," he shook his head, smiling (albeit slightly tightly) once more, "I think we're alright at the moment thank you, we don't need anything.... Though I appreciate the company. And it's good to see you again. I knew you were safe and well but... it's better to see so in person. I have been concerned about you, you know." About how she was doing, and yes also about whether or not she'd ditched him for a new Master. It was probably unkind of him to think that she might have for even a moment, but his mind seemed prone to spinning off into negative imaginings at the moment.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 2:22 pm
Becka smiled and nodded, she was relieved if she was honest with herself, she'd almost expected Bereck to send her away, to tell her to go home and forget healing so what had actually been said was good news to Becka.
"Alright Master Bereck, just give me a shout or send that adorable Brown for me if you do need ANTYHING" she said then froze again as he admitted being concerned about her. "I..i was uninjured thankfully" she stammered, unsure how to respond.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 2:28 pm
"I will, and I'm glad." Bereck reached out to touch the younger healer's arm briefly, the tension in his expression easing a little. "I wouldn't say you're unhurt though," he added softly after a moment, studying her face carefully. "If you need to talk about anything, I'm here. Understood?" She'd lost her home, her best friend, seen horrific violence.... He felt at a loss for what he could do for her, or any of the young folk from Malvren that he cared for. He knew Aleck wasn't quite himself, and though Rochelle seemed fine he didn't claim to know her as well as he did his son or even his apprentice....
Ah, he'd been going to talk to her about Rochelle hadn't he? Maybe that was best left for another time though, given what they'd talked about so far.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 2:36 pm
She saw the softness on his face when he reached and touched her arm and her eyes prickled with tears again. She coudln't speak for a moment, trying to recover her composure, she tried to put her 'healer head on' so she took a deep breath and smiled, though it was a weak one "I will Bereck.. " she leaned over and gave him a brief, gentle hug "I'm so glad you didn't die.. " she murmured. The man was the closest thing she had right now to a father, sure she had her own parents but honestly she had never felt as close to them as she had to Bereck, the man brought out the best (and sometimes worst when it came to not leaving a patient's side) in her and she was thankful of that. The man had seen the potential no one ever had before and wanted her to be better, wanted her to succeed and she couldn't remember the last time she had felt needed or wanted like that. She teared up a little as she backed up, knowing it would be much harder from now on without Sessie to help her but she would honor her friend, and her master, by proving she COULD do this, even when it seemed like she couldn't she would keep going. "Thank you Master Bereck, for believing in me when no one else did"
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 2:38 pm
He returned the brief hug willingly, squeezing her shoulder and smilingly wryly as she pulled back. "I'm glad I didn't die as well," he said softly when she had finished speaking, "and there's no call to thank me. I only truly believe things that I have good evidence for Becka, so think about that before you doubt yourself too much again."
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 2:45 pm
Becka's weak smiled got a little bigger. "I'll try Master Bereck, i'll do my best" she replied "i...i uh, have nothing to do right now, are you sure there's nothing i can do?... if not i was going to go and see Berath if that's ok with you, she did so well keeping us all safe" she said, feeling a little uncomfortable with the praise but she was slowly learning to take it with grace.
"Nightling caught a big tunnelsnake earlier, i thought Berath might like the treat" she blushed again, having given Berath many of the rotten things that Nightling caught for her but this being the first time Bereck had been awake to know about it.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 2:49 pm
Bereck smiled back. "I know you will." It was one of the reasons he liked her; he couldn't stand an apprentice that slacked, and over the turns had ditched a few who did onto other people.
His smile abruptly widened to a grin at eager input from Berath, and he chuckled as he gave a small nod. "Berath would be happy to take that off your hands. She says she would be glad to see you with or without a treat though." Berath had always been fond of his apprentices but she was far more attached to Becka now than she had been before, and to Rochelle too, and several other people he didn't actually know himself. Cai? He was going to have to look that girl up, and thank her for caring for his dragon.
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