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 Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 6:36 pm
Bereck looked down at their hands, opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. This was... difficult. He couldn't just jump in impulsively like some people could, he had to think about it and work out exactly how to put what he felt into words.
"No."
That was a good start.
Bereck cleared his throat and look up at her again, because cringing away from her gaze was no good at all. "I remember being upset. I... doubt I would have said anything if I hadn't been drugged. I'm glad I did though. I...." He had to pause and clear his throat again, eyes flicking away and down to their hands again before returning to Alina's face. "If you're still willing I.... I meant it. I still do."
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Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 6:53 pm
No?
Bereck needed to learn how to be clearer with his words. She needed to be able to interpret him better, maybe. Alina petted at his hand quietly once he looked back up, hesitating but not looking away. Looking away would help no one. Not right now.
"I certainly wouldn't have said anything. Not with what I did." Her nose wrinkled and she squeezed his hand lightly. "I'm glad you did too. But... yes. I would. I have time now a days, when I want to have it. Question is if, well. You want to with that too."
She shrugged. What better time to bring it up?
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Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 6:59 pm
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Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 7:01 pm
Alina didn't hesitate this go around.
She leaned over and kissed his cheek, gently.
"Good."
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Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 7:07 pm
Bereck's pale face flushed slightly as she lent over to kiss his cheek; he closed his eyes, a smile creeping back onto his lips. "Yes. Well... good." He didn't feel so cold anymore. He also felt like a faire of flits was fluttering around in his stomach. When had he become fifteen again or, come to that, in his late twenties when he'd first met her. He would have sworn nothing in the world could ever pull them apart and he'd been wrong there... but perhaps they could build something back up. He wanted to, he really truly did. He'd kept the ring he'd bought for her but never given her at the bottom of a little box of assorted treasures... and that was at Malvren, along with so many other things. It was rather too soon to even consider such a thing anyway; he should worry less about the future and the past, and enjoy the parts of the present that were pleasant.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 8:27 am
Hee. And she even made him blush. Small and silly victories still counted as one, didn't they? She rather thought so. Alina had a tin smile of her own and vaguely colored cheeks when she pulled away, hand unmoving for under and above Berecks.
"We aren't very good at this, are we?" She asked, looking down at their hands. "Never were. Maybe. It worked though."
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 8:43 am
"It did," Bereck gave a small smile, shifting into a slightly different position. "We can't have been all that bad at it.... We're probably just rusty." Neither of them had ever been the gushing sort, and their relationship had probably been weird by most people's standards but it had worked and had worked well... right up until the point it hadn't. He had been nervous at first back then, but it had been easier - at least he thought it had been - because he hadn't had twenty years of separation, and past failure hanging over him. Oh, and the fact that he'd lost his home, position, and still couldn't get out of bed; that certainly didn't help one to feel confident.
Bereck looked back down at their hands, still smiling; at least he wasn't the only one feeling a bit at sea and... and everything could be much worse than it was. If he hadn't come here he wouldn't have met her again; that was certainly a plus to place against the considerable minuses.
"You know... I've missed you," he said to her hands. "I think I said that last time but not very coherently I think. So. There it is."
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 9:02 am
"I think if we weren't a turn away from our Mastery, we'd have been much better at it." She chuckled, her fingers shifting to thread with his. She liked to touch, to try and see if wee strands of intimacy could be re-established. He offered the mushy words, she could at least return mushy actions.
Another blush had to come about with even further mushier words. Alina smiled a little wider, thumb rubbing over one of his knuckles. "You did. It was. I missed you too. And I'm glad you didn't hate me enough to not miss me, as selfish as that is."
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 9:18 am
Bereck glanced up, looked back down, and then made himself make eye contact again because he was an adult shardit not some silly little boy. "I was bitter and angry at first... but I don't think I ever hated you." He didn't see any point in lying and saying he'd never been in the least bit upset; of course he had been, and he assumed she had been too. They'd been happy, and then everything had fallen to pieces. If this was ever going to work he would have to try to be a bit less fixated with work. They had discussed that last time, he remembered now.
"I'll make time," he said after a momentary pause. "Like I said... I won't have to bother with wing drills anymore." And he'd find some more time from somewhere else too... perhaps. He'd try. What if trying wasn't enough? Shells knew he was set in his ways, so what if he couldn't change his life enough to make room for her again? Would it be the same? Together for a while and then breaking apart? He didn't want to believe that, he wanted it to work. He wanted that piece of happiness back.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 9:41 am
Second chances were awesome. You always had to have two things, at least, when studying things. Double check, experiment, see what happens. Third, though... she liked second chances.
"...I'm happy for that too," she admitted, voice softening. "The time bit, that is. Not having any last time was my fault too. That was... that was the main reason we broke up, wasn't it."
She looked up to meet his eyes, needing to be an adult like the grumpy healer. "Not hating is good. I wouldn't blame you, if you had. It wasn't the most clear cut of situations, all things considered. But hey, at least we make cool kids."
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 10:04 am
Bereck chuckled, a smirky grin creeping onto his face. "One cool kid," he corrected, "never know what a second might have been like. Might have got a stupid one." That was probably a terrible thing to say but it was true, and he was sure that if Aleck hadn't been as bright as he was... well he would have loved him no doubt, but things wouldn't have been the same.
"And it was," Bereck agreed, "the reason, and both of our faults... but we can learn from mistakes, and do better the next time. That's what experiments are all about... well partially. Anyway, you understand what I mean." He hoped... he was hopeful. A bit. Cautiously. He didn't want to go through another failure but if you didn't take risks you never got anywhere and this was worth the risk. It was said that a dragon completed you, but he didn't think that was entirely true at least not for him. He wanted other things too, and yes alright he'd gone twenty years without any kind of a romantic connection but... but....
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 10:36 am
"Wouldn't want a stupid one. Creche material, that." Alina laughed softly, her eyes crinkled at the edges. Their hands squeezed again, head dipping zlightly. She felt a little bit twisty in her stomach, rather like the first time they held hands twenty years back and kissed and all sorts of Aleck-causing things.
The laugh died to a fond smile, Sanguine pets forgotten in the quiet clasp of hands and smiles and discussions about past with future. "I know what you mean. We eliminate the previous issue, deal with anything else that crops up as it comes along. More kids isn't an issue so that's one thing down at least. The pregnancy was not fun."
It'd been better with Bereck there. He'd not left her to her own devices once the reason for her sickliness had become apparent. Results and parting aside, at least they could tack those last six months to their count if they wanted to.
"Thank you for not just leaving me alone when we found out about him." She said after a moment. "I was scared."
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 10:42 am
Bereck squeezed the hand underneath his briefly and then pulled free of her grasp, but only to reach up and put his hand on her shoulder. "The least I could do," he said softly. Then, after a pause; "I'm sorry I didn't do more." He didn't know what else he would or could have done but he felt like there should have been something; thinking about that period gave him that familiar sinking feeling of failure, inadequacy. Perhaps it didn't make much sense but he still felt as if he had somehow failed her, or Aleck, or both of them because he.... He didn't even know, he just didn't feel like he'd been enough.
Berath didn't go on but she did give a mental sigh. She really had chosen a very silly human for herself.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 10:50 am
Before the pregnancy, they had no time to spend together. Afterwards, she imagined he had no time for much of anything and she could not be with a baby. During, though... three months after they were seperated they were thrown together again for half a turn and it'd been good. ...for her, at least, goodness only knew what Bereck felt during that time.
"You did everything anyone could." She smiled a little, glancing to the hand on her shoulder before looking back to him. "More, even. I'm not sure who else would put up with their ex in that situation. Surprise! A baby! Now talk with me for another half turn while we figure this out."
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