"ALRIGHT!" Mark did a fistpump and then realized he wasn't being serious business enough and sat back down, clearing his throat. "Go out my young padawan and complete these very important tasks. It is your very first job as my assistant yesssss."
He eyes Gale almost craftily as he took a wad of lined paper from his notebook. In chicken scratch were a few words:
1) Tell everyone about miniskirt Monday. ALL GIRLS MUST KNOW. THEY MUST WEAR A SKIRT. A SHORT ONE.
2) Find me an army of intelligent dolphins to train
3) I need a pair of new sneakers.
"Now go out into this wide world, oh assistant of mine," Mark completed dramatically, "And make this happen! Do not rest until all the laideez are wearin miniskirts come Monday - yourself included of course - and I have an army of trained killer dolphins. Yessss my plans are almost complete. Soon, precious, very soon...."
kurotomato
Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2012 8:47 am
Though Mark's enthusiasm was...enthusiastic...Gale couldn't help but feel a bit excited at the prospect himself. He had worked very hard to get where he was - and had gone through hell and back, several times - and it seemed that, finally, he was getting to where he needed to be, had strived to be since first coming on the island.
He accepted the piece of paper, gave a nod, and looked down at it.
What.
The look Gale gave Mark might have been horrified, or perhaps aghast, or maybe just outraged.
"What," said Gale, attempting to keep his voice at a reasonable level. "are these things. These aren't...I mean...WHAT."
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kuropeco
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Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2012 11:40 pm
In his defense, Mark didnt speak Harry Potternese and totally mistook Gale's tone for enthusiasm. He excitedly held up one finger, madly typing with one hand before hitting enter with a sort of strange ferver.
"Okay, okay just a secret between a division leader and his assistant. Beware! This is a dark, dark secret, you must guard it with your life. Your life!."
If Gale neared the computer screen, or a little closer, he would catch a screenful of ladies. Naked. In the shower. One of them suspiciously looked like a Hunter he kn-
-"I know right?" Mark sighed dramatically. "It would be a crying shame for them- for them not to wear mini skirts. After careful investigation and examination, there is only one conclusion in my unfulfilled career as your division leader: that women should be reduced to the sexy female slaves they are." Mark shed a single tear, clenching one fist while looking soulfully at his new assistant. "Now, will you do this, for half the population of Deus Ex depends on your actions, brave soldier."
A pause.
"Also, about those killer dolphins..."
kurotomato
Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 9:52 am
Gale wasn't even sure what was going on anymore or whether or not it was safe to be a part of it. Or if he was a part of it. Or exactly what it was. He took a cautious step towards the computer screen, bent down, and looked.
Then he really, really wished he hadn't.
"Mark!"
Face flushed a brilliant shade of red, Gale took several hasty steps backwards, glowering at the division leader and wondering why he was even trying in the first place. His hands clenched into fists at his sides, and he breathed in slowly, trying to decipher the puzzle that was Mark.
"Mark, I'm not going to ask the female population of Deus to wear miniskirts.
"...or get you an army of killer dolphins, for that matter."
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Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 1:53 am
Mark looked a little disappointed, as if all the 'no's had finally sunk in. "Awww," he whined, "Don't be a spoilsport. I totally understand," He gave Gale a friendly, all-knowing look, "You're a chip off the old block, great geniuses do have the power to collectively peer into the Force together, and see the balance within. Now, if its an incentive you want, I got just the thing...."
Two drawers and quite a supply of empty beer cans later, Mark pullled out a tin of stale lollipops. "Go on," He encouraged, proud of himself, "You can pick any flavour, cuz like, I totally kept the best flavour to myself. I'm not telling you what it is thought cuz then you might want it."
The lollipops were stuck in front of Gale as if he was half his age, in a semi-encouraging but mostly painfully obliviously patronizing way.
kurotomato
Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 7:43 am
Gale had learned one very important message in talking to Mark:
Talking to Mark was exhausting. And frustrating. And everything else that could possibly be derived from being spoken to like he was four years old and then offered lollipops.
"MARK!"
Gale hadn't quite meant to shout it, but it came out a shout anyway, hands slamming on the top of the division leader's desk. If it had been Caelius behind it, he probably would have gotten his head chopped off; a saving grace Gale found quite nice at the moment.
"Mark," said Gale again, this time in a much more level tone of voice, though he the frustration and irritation was clearly still there, feeling as though nothing he was saying was getting through that thick skull of Mark's.
"Mark, please," said Gale. "I am begging you. Take me seriously here. I'm not a kid, I know I can handle this - but not this - " He waved a hand around at the multicolored office. "Not getting the girls to wear miniskirts, not going off on random tangents about dolphins. The sneakers I could probably get you, but that's beside the point."
He drew in a deep breath, and shook his head a little, fingers clenching into fists on top of the desk.
"I need for you to understand that I'm being serious here, and I would appreciate it if you respected me enough to understand that."
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kuropeco
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Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 5:47 pm
As Gale talked, it seemed as if Mark was finally giving the Death Hunter the full attention he deserved. The Death "lead" was all focus. All focus. This was like, awesome, this kid was totally serious about their job, using fancy words like appreciation and respect. Serious business.
At the end of the speech, Mark gave Gale the appreciation he deserved -
- By leaning back on his chair and putting his feet right on the table. His old, crusty shoes right on what was probably not his table, or at least a table that he had procured by any conventional means. "Kid, Gale, whatever, this is my division now. I thought you said you'd listen to anything I say so I'm telling you that killer dolphins are a serious priority, very serious. If we had an army of like, killer dolphins, none of those Halloween things and other intruders could ever invade our island, we would be totally invincible! It is a fool proof plan, you gotta trust me."
Yes, Mark was totally serious. This was Mark, he seriously believed that
And Gale's phone was buzzing.
kurotomato
Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 7:24 pm
Somewhere inside Gale's head was a teeny tiny little voice screaming at him to just Stop Now.
Or maybe it was a very loud, deafening voice.
Glowering at the feet on the desk, Gale folded his arms across his chest and looked down at his "superior" with undisguised irritation. This was not, to say the least, going how he had planned it to, but it was not as if there was anything he could do about it.
Especially since if this had been Caelius, he would have been thrown out two minutes after walking in the door. Gale sighed.
"Fine," he said, I'll find you a killer dolphin army. Though I still won't do the miniskirt thing."
His phone was vibrating in his pocket. With another disgruntled look at Mark, Gale pulled it out to look.
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kuropeco
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 12:39 am
Gale's cell phone revealed a single message:
Text from Caelius
Move.
The door burst open, practically torn from its hinges as the next few seconds regaled a violence that was really unsuitable for younger audiences, and best left in the recesses of the Death Hunter's memory, unless he wanted to specialize in How To Torture And Kill Someone In Less Than Three Seconds.
There was a loud crash as a broken and screaming Mark fell two stories down-
- Several Hunters below paid him no attention, walking around him-
- As the rightful owner of the office swept everything off the desk and reclaimed his throne, appearance oddly immalculate as if they hadn't just commited Division Assistant genocide or really, come back from the dead. Said Division lead was pulling out several organized folders, pulling out a Hunter file, striking out their name, and then replacing it with a second.
It said very clearly on the folder: Gale Gentry.
"Congratulations," Caelius folded both hands over the profile, expression as neutral as one could get after their entire office had practically been destroyed, "You are now the new division assistant."
A few pieces of glass detached from the severely broken window, very clearly stained with blood.
kurotomato
Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 5:04 pm
Gale had all of two seconds to comprehend the message before all hell broke lose.
The violence that occurred is not suitable for any audiences below the ages of fifteen. Please consult your physician before trying to regain these memories and make sure to drink lots of water.
"Ah," said Gale, when the dust had settled and the person standing in front of him was indeed the person he'd thought it was. Folding his arms across his chest, he lifted a brow, probably less surprised than he should have been to see Caelius. A part of him really hadn't ever believed that the division leader was dead - he was like a cockroach, after all.
"Welcome back, sir."
Vaguely Gale wondered whether Mark was still alive, decided it was better than having Miniskirt Mondays and wondered whether or not Caelius was going to kill him or maybe seriously maim him.
There was plaster dust in his hair. Gale eyed the file with something akin to suspicion and surprise.
"...er," he said. "Really?"
Why did he think this was a trap.
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 5:53 pm
While Caelius did not actually quite respond to Gale for the next few seconds, instead, flipping through a few documents paper-clipped to Gale's file - though at the bottom of signing the extended clearance form his pen rather visibly twitched at the genius response from the other.
Awkward silence as three more papers were signed, and then clipped together, all papers placed back in the folder. The Death Lead didn't bother looking up as he spoke, as always, slowly and clearly, "You are under probation as acting Death Division lead assistant. As a hopefully competent Hunter in my division, I expect you to at least propose one specialization as well." Click, rustle. "You will also complete your probation assignment, though it should be simple enough for someone of your intelligence level to decipher."
Caelius looked up, giving Gale his full, undivided attention, the same way someone would to perhaps, a new footstool. "You will fully dispose of the previous failure."
kurotomato
Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 6:09 pm
It was like he had never left.
Gale stood stock still in front of Caelius's desk, partly because he was trying to figure out whether or not what he had just said was legitimate, and partly because he was slightly afraid that if he moved, Caelius would realize he was there and he would go the same way as Mark had.
RIP, Mark. Fare thee well.
<< Oy vey. >> murmured Jinhai, though he sounded faintly amused.
"Yes, sir," said Gale, and he felt his heart beat just a little faster, though there was still some hesitation. It could possibly go well, what with Caelius being back. Mark as Division Leader was one thing, but Caelius...
Especially considering what Caelius had done the last time Gale had seen him. Anger flashed through him, quick and hot, but he pushed it aside, tamped it down.
Now was neither the time, nor the place.
"Yes, sir," he said again, and gave a nod of understanding. "I will get it done as soon as possible."
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 5:38 pm
The next few moments were probably as awkward if not more awkward than the last ones. If this was indicative of their budding relationship, perhaps it really have been easier for Gale to have found that army of killer dolphins. And the miniskirts.
The Death lead just sat there, regardless of the fact that there was blood splattered around the floors, regardless of the broken window sill, regardless of pieces of technology, a broken lava lamp, crumpled papers, everything as if everything was as normal and pristine as usual. At some interval he picked up his cell phone, scrolling through a few messages, before going back to pouring over what seemed like a map of Halloween Town district, tracing several red X's with one remaining pen.
He stopped only for a moment to stare irately in Gale's general direction -
- At the door, where two Hunters were attempting their best to toggle between being polite and being ******** terrified of what the hell was going on. For the record, most Hunters on the Island had a right to, considering that the Death lead was still in many mission reports, considered rightfully dead.
"Er," One Mist Hunter finally tried, "Sir....s.... we're just wondering ah.. about Mark... he's pretty injured and..." They trailed off as someone looked their general direction-
- Before going back to perusing the map. "I would like you to get your probation assignment done as soon as now. Dispose of Mark permanently, I don't have time for continuous problems."
Was it Gale's imagination or was that remark also directed towards someone else?
kurotomato
Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 8:30 pm
The tension was so thick that Gale was quite certain if he had Caelius's scythe he'd be able to slice right through it. That, and the fact that he wasn't entirely certain if he was dismissed or not made things just that much more awkward, since he stood there with his hands tucked against the small of his back, an expressionless mask on his face.
So Caelius was really back. Gale wondered how on earth he had managed to survive the beating that werewolf had given him, wondered (for not the first time) if Caelius was actually human (he decided "no" was the proper answer to that), and how he had managed to even get back to Deus headquarters. He looked worse for the wear, and now the office was in complete shambles - not that his illustrious leader seemed to take notice, Caelius moving around as though it looked the same as it always had.
The utterly withering glares in his direction, though, those were definitely the same.
Gale's eyes flickered towards the two hunters at the door, narrowing his gaze just slightly. So Mark was (miraculously) still alive, was he? He moved his eyes back towards Caelius, who looked utterly disinterested in the goings-on around him, and frowned a little.
"You want me to kill Mark, is that it?" he asked bluntly. "That's my probation assignment?"
Disposing of an already dead body was one thing. Disposing of a body that was alive was an entirely different thing, even if Mark was the most ridiculous human being known to man and altogether quite as infuriating as some other people who shall remain nameless.
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Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 11:26 am
Snap. Well, there went the last pen. It seemed the two Hunters were a little smarter, having booked it asap: Mark's mangey life (or death) was not worth their's no matter how one looked at it.
"Did I ******** stutter?" Though Caelius didn't bother looking up, someone else was, taking a second to detach themselves from behind the lava lamp, fixating really, their single eye on Gale curiously, almost lazily, like some demented winged eyeball pet cat.
