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 Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:28 am
Yes, the 'killing' aspect... it somewhat relieved her to hear the disdain in his voice when he mentioned it, but at the same time, she couldn't overlook his overall involvement. Then again, what could he do but obey? Unlike her court, they had a definitive leader and structure, and that, compounding with everything else he had mention, only made Tsui all the more bitter towards her own court. "We may have the advantage of number, but... you saw us at the ambush. Those that weren't fighting were running around with chickens with their heads cut off... how much of a threat can we really be if we keep acting like that?" It felt bad to speak ill of her own court, but Tsui couldn't lie. Nor would she. There was no point in it. "And I doubt any of the White Moon senshi have it in them to kill... I was told they did some terrible things, but outright killing?" She scoffed at the notion, initially, then admitted. "I had the urge to kill during the fight, though. Valhalla stopped me, thankfully, but still... the urge was there. I wonder how many others had the impulse, but no one to stop them..." It was a troubling thought. Tsui didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to think about anything, really. She just wanted to fight... it was so much easier that way.
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Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:18 pm
There was a sort of satisfaction Remarque derived from this conversation with Tsui; it felt good to know that even someone who fought so strongly for their cause could have such doubts and disdain. A part of him wanted to just drag her into Mirrorspace and let Ares have her—throw her through the mirror and show her what she'd been missing out on.
…But who knew how well the conversion process would hold if Tsui fought against it? For all he knew, she had the potential to tear it apart from the inside out.
"The urge to kill is within all of us, I suppose," he replied simply. "Chaos, Order—it doesn't matter. Neither determines what we do. It's who we are that determines our actions, and what we do that defines us. Order is as capable of killing as Chaos, let that not be the distinction between us. Is that why you're all so negative towards the Dark Mirror Court? You're afraid that accepting us—joining us—will turn you into monsters?"
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:53 am
It was a mistake to talk to Remarque, period, because Tsui was not familiar with this uncertainty that was now running rampant within her. No, she liked having a definitive goal, a definitive mindset, and most important, a definitive enemy. She thought Remarque was one of them, but now... She shook her head vehemently, "Some of you aren't evil, though. I've run into a few of your court members that put a lot of us to shame in regards to a lot of things, but... it's the ones willing to kill I can't accept." Did that make her a hypocrite herself? She had the desire to kill, but it was gone as quickly as it had arrived and she was able to be talked down, not just by Valhalla but by Pasiphae. But she didn't kill Negaverse officers, nor other Senshi. Just youma. Only youma. Who where, supposedly, once human, like herself. Her face visibly paled, and she stepped back, away from Remarque. This was a terrible idea...
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 4:12 pm
Remarque watched Tsui with an expression of contemplation; he didn't know what was going on inside her head, but he figured it was something that really must have had her shaken. "You look a little pale, Tsui," he noted, and though he kept a casual air about him, he almost sounded like he was concerned for her.
He had, after all, only wanted the best for her—right?
Hadn't it always been that way? From the very beginning—from the moment they'd first met.
"Do you need to sit down? I can fetch you a soda, something sugary to give you a little boost, if you'd like…?"
Or maybe just give her some space. She didn't look like she was all there right now, and while Remarque had certainly been enjoying the conversation, he liked to think he knew when not to push too hard. He wanted Tsui to join them—not have a break down.
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 7:26 pm
'How many have I dusted now?' Tsui tried to keep a grip on things, mainly her own hands so that they wouldn't shake so much, and she was too distracted with her own thoughts and the realization that had finally caught up to her that she didn't notice Remarque's genuine concern. She had been fighting for so long that she didn't stop to really considered Benitoite's words, and now that they had caught up to her, she couldn't forget them. 'I've killed so many... could they have been purified?'When Remarque spoke, she only caught part of what he said, and she shook her head. "No, nothing. I'm fine." 'I'm a possible murderer and worse than any Dark Mirror Senshi out there, but otherwise...' She took another step away from him, feeling something she hadn't felt since the ambush and the sanctuary on the Moon afterwards. The urge to cry. She wasn't going to, not in front of Remarque. Or ANYONE. "Nice talking with you. For once. I'm going home now." She turned around completely, knowing that it could have been a costly mistake to turn her back to the enemy, but she had to get out of there. Her pride wouldn't allow her to show anymore weakness to the enemy... if they even were the enemy after all.
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:50 pm
Realistically, now was the perfect time to attack Tsui—to get in those blows he owed her. Her back was turned—she'd have been as unsuspecting as he was when she had attacked him.
But he refrained.
Be it out of concern, or respect, or satisfaction for putting her in her current state, Remarque simply let her go. Her back was turned, sparing her from the slow, smug grin that slowly tugged across his face. Was he satisfied that he'd gotten some point across? Absolutely. Did that mean anything particularly positive would come of it?
He could only hope.
For the time being, it was enough that he hoped Tsui would take what he had said seriously—take it to heart—and maybe come out a stronger person because of it.
Preferably by accepting Chaos into her heart.
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Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 11:39 am
Twice in a matter of a few weeks, Tsui had fled from a member of the Dark Mirror Court, but this one she had no excuse. There was no innocent civilian to rescue, nothing but her pride refusing to admit openly to Remarque, or anyone, for that matter, that she had done something wrong. Had been doing something wrong, and had the nerve to speak out against it in the first place. All of Benitoite's words were coming back to haunt her now, and compounding with what she felt was a genuine conversation from someone whom she had vehemently despised before now... She was pulled completely out of her element and she had no idea how to cope with it. How DOES one cope with finding out that they've been murdering creatures that were once human, anyway? She felt stupid, and she wanted the floodgates to close again. She didn't want to think about it. At all. "Stupid... talking to any of them is a mistake... all they ever do is want to get into my head." It was something she wasn't willing to face right now. She had to get out of there, before the temptation to go back to Remarque and do something even more stupid kicked in. She waited until she was several blocks away before she dehenshined, and Gwendolyn Caspian hoped that her trek back home would be done in complete silence and uneventful. 'I'll... talk with the others. Maybe there is no hope for purifying the Dark Mirror Court... or maybe there's no hope for White Moon?'Thoughts she didn't want to have. Damn that Remarque! Kyuseisha no Hikari This Tsui freak out moment has been brought to you by: REALIZATION. Remarque and others -almost- make me want to pursue the possibility of switching Tsui over.
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