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 Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 2:54 pm
She snorted at H's reasoning for not telling him and mumbled 'jerk' under her breath, it was soft enough that he probably heard it but not loud enough to interrupt his talking. Ceres knew though she would never call him that to his face, their resident doctor scared the s**t out of her.
The bit of news about not being able to have children though, did startle her. She tried to show show it, but she knew that her body reaction would have deceived her. Bix was close enough to feel her stiffen, but she tried to play it off as best she could by relaxing a moment later. In that one sentence Bix basically told her that not only was she barren.... but that somewhere in her past a male hunter was in her bloodlines. Ceres never really had ever thought about children for her future, but she still was not sure how she felt about NEVER being able to have children.
She would have to think more about this later, probably alone. For now... Bix was more important.
Reflexively she snaked a arm out around him to hold him close, even if her arm possibly might be crushed between himself and the bed if he leaned back further. Using her free arm... she reached over and poked his nose. "You know, Bix... i adore you, but you can be so... daft sometimes." She mumbled under her breath, tightening her grip on him some, silencing any retort he might have. "Who the ******** gives a s**t if the good 'ol doctor says you are not 'high ranking' enough? Dig the hell anyways! Clearly it is something that bothers you, and you want to know. This is family we are talking about you have a right to know. Pay-grade does not equal blood, and blood ties are important." Heck even she wanted to know who the heck was in her past. "If H and Caelius dont help you further, you get on your hands and knee's and dig yourself, you have hands why not USE them?" Sure she was explaining it in a different way, it was not like he was digging a hole or anything, but still the point was given.
"Don't let them beat you down further than they already do to us each day."
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Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 3:29 pm
Bix felt her stiffen a bit and frowned. Damn. He'd thought most of the girls knew. You'd think someone like Clarice would make a point to make sure the girls all knew, right? He'd pretty much informed her she'd never have children and hadn't thought twice about the implications.
When she reached out around him Bix leaned forward a bit and eventually settled against the young woman in a more comfortable position. He hadn't thought twice about it, too distracted by the conversation, and slid his arm around her waist slightly. He wrinkled his nose stupidly when she poked him.
"Maybe I don't wanna know?" He probably should have sounded more sure. "I never questioned my family before. Why dig for something when it'll make me doubt my whole life up until now? I tried a little. Went poking around in computers but.." he shook his head. "The runic system is so weird and I was never much of a hacker. Even after gaining rank I'm still not high enough to seek priveledges. I guess I got lazy."
The way she was egging him on, he almost felt ashamed for not trying harder. It was a bit of a moral dilemma for him. After a silent pause he squeezed Ceres waist and looked her sheepishly in the eyes. "Sorry. I'm sorry that you didn't know about the baby thing. I can tell that caught you a little off guard." He frowned. "Also as much as I hate to admit he may be right, H had a point. We shouldn't spread around the information about the Breeding Program. Not only will people flip out," Jerry and Sasha had both flipped s**t in a bad way, "but our enemies can use that information to go out in the real world and target people. We know the horsemen have psychics. People who may not know they have a gift, or maybe even don't know might get killed."
It seemed like talking about all this let slip some of his insecurities and realizations about their chosen profession. "Even though this place is shady and full of liars and killers... we are part of them now. Sometimes I'm not sure that any of us are any less crazy than the other. I think some of us just hide it better. And.." His head hung a bit and he suddenly had a disgusted expression. "I hate admitting that those assholes may be right ever."
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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 3:44 pm
It was rather funny really, how they both easily settled against to each other while they spoke. When Ceres first started to reach out to him months prior, he would turn red or shy away... now? It was second nature. Ceres was a very hands on person, she liked touching and would often touch those she cared about. Be it a hug or a pat on the shoulder.
She did not hesitate as he finished settling against her, only squeezed him slightly with her arm. "You don't need to apologize for telling me something i would have eventually discovered anyways, but...i will admit it did catch me off guard." She chewed her lip some, still trying herself not to overly think about it. She would give the subject more thought later, but she knew if she left it at that last statement Bix would still try and talk it out. He was just that nice of a guy. "It's just odd knowing that an option i thought i had was taken away from me... heck, did i even have the option in the first place? Are all women hunters born without the ability to bear children?" She rambled off a bit more than she wanted to.
"As for... the 'breeding' program... i hate to say this but it doesn't surprise me at all. Look what happens in the life labs, what experiments they run. Heck look what we DO for a living. Sure it sickens me to know that... to keep having hunters, males need to breed with regular people and hope they have hunter descendants. Its sort of almost like we are aliens whom need regular people just to keep our 'race' alive, its very... alien face hugger. We fight monsters, creatures of myth and childrens bedtime stories. While we call the halloweens monsters, what would normal people call us?" She sighed snuggled closer a second before she leaned her head against him. Really it was a hard subject to think about some times. It was kind of hard to accept that they too were not... entirely 'normal'. "But honestly, what is sane or normal to us might have a different meaning for others. I guess because we all are in this loony bin together, to us... this is normal." She gave a small encouraging smile next, changing the subject rather abruptly. "Besides, we should be talking about you right now and not the philosophy of what we do. I think you should research further into this note. Yes i know... i know you say that you dont want to know. Though i could debate that your tone when saying that did not sound earnest, but just take some advice okay? Are you really ok with not knowing who wrote that note, even at the chance it might BE your actual father? Hell, even Caelius said he was completing a favor asked of him by giving that note to you. What if this F was the one whom asked Caelius in the first place? What if this is your relative reaching out to you, are you going to sit back and not try?"
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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 4:48 pm
Bix was a bit spaced out as he listened to Ceres. When she clung to his arm and leaned her head against him he simply exhaled loudly, body slouching against the woman more. She rambled a few questions aloud andhemumbled, "It's the island. Like LOST." A wry smirk. "It's cause of this island."
She had good points but Bix still seemed unsure. "So what if he was my dad?"
The albino sighed and sat up a bit. He was almost afraid of what he would find out. "So he's a dad who was some kind of leader here?" Was that a good prospect? They leaders they had now were not in the least bit honorable."And my mom loved him and he left. Or was it just another assignment?"
It was rare that Bix looked genuinely concerned, afraid even. He rarely reached a level of genuine sharpness to his face unless they were in a fight, but right now the man seemed tense and worried. Revelations about this person only made him worried that his whole existence was just another cog in the Deus machine.
He stared at her earnestly, unblinking and worried. "Do I want to find that out?" Or perhaps he already knew that he would pursue this and the fear was real. He knew he'd find out and he was scared of what he was definitely bound to discover.
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