|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 11:39 am
Lizzy kept quiet as she listened to Mac, a million and one things running through her mind; he did make a lot of sense though, especially where disapproval was concerned.... Ever since that incident before prom, she hadn't really cried because of him.
"... I care a lot about what my friends think, huh?" She played with a lock of her hair, still hunched over her knees; it wasn't enough for them to convince her to leave Mac, but it was enough for her to want them to see his good side too, and not just his bad side, "I don't dislike you though... Not at all. You almost never do these things with the intention to hurt anyone..."
The question he posed caused her to go quiet again as she took some time to ponder over it, not quite sure how to answer. Maybe in the past, she wouldn't have to think so hard, but it was a serious question... So it was only fair to put thought into the answer, right?
"I believe in... Fixing it when something is broken, rather than abandoning it," She eventually replied, looking up to meet his eyes, "It wasn't easy for us to reach this point in time, and I never saw it as just... Casual dating. I know a lot of people say that High School relationships don't last, but why not? I love you. I mean it, and I know my actions don't show it, but... I really do love you for the good and the bad. I'm sorry if you can't be yourself because of me... I really am... I didn't mean to..."
She paused briefly to regain her composure - not that she had much to begin with, curled up like that.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 12:46 pm
"I never said you disliked me, I said you disapprove." Mac corrected softly. If she disliked him, she would have tried to get away, not encourage him to take her back. When she tried to answer his question his brow furrowed, listening along to what she had to say. A Fixer upper? That was...quite the understatement. When laid out like this, their relationship was...pretty badly beaten. He waved off her apology; he knew she didn't mean it, it was just the way she was...and they were very different people.
"So...you're with me because you think we can fix this?" He confirmed slowly, scratching at the light stubble on his jaw. "I love you too and I would love to make this work, don't get me wrong, but...are you sure we can fix this? Like we said earlier, every six months we seem to go through this in some way or another; a big talk about us and our future. I'm not sure trying to fix it is a real reason as to why you're still with me, and it's really not something we can base a relationship on. We've been trying to fix it since we started. I mean...we're not as damaged as Hel and Mot, but...it's still kinda...broken." He sighed, shifting his weight on the bed to bend one leg against him.
"Is that the only reason you're still with me?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 1:12 pm
"Do I really disapprove that much...?" Lizzy asked, frowning as her heart sunk a little more, "Maybe I'll understand it one day... That outside opinions don't matter that much... Not if it makes you feel that way."
She couldn't help but be hung up on the fact that Mac couldn't be himself around her, even if she would like him to be himself... But he would probably upset her somehow that way, one way or another, so he tried to be someone else - but that wasn't what she wanted.
"That's one of the reasons why I'm still with you... And I know. I know we have a lot of issues, but..." She admitted hesitantly; there was something about that question that made her feel like he was expecting something from her, and it stressed her out to not know if she would be able to deliver, "But the main reason is... I want to be with you? I can't explain it, but... I want to keep loving you until you're old and wrinkly and bald, and... It'll be nice if you can be there to love me back, you know? I'm still new to this whole... Relationship thing. I never had a chance to observe it-" Because her father died young, "-and it always seemed like such a simple thing. People get married because they're in love, and then they live happily ever after... I've learned a lot, listening to you, but there's still so much I don't know. I don't know what makes a good ghoulfriend, for example..."
She sighed, "And you? It's probably been... Really hard for you, so why are you still with me?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 3:56 pm
"Yeah, you do...almost all the time." Mac shook his head slowly. "Outside opinions matter, I think...but only if you value their opinion." Which explained why he didn't care what he did around most people; Lizzy's (and to an extent, Hel's) opinion meant more to him, and so they were the ones he tried to behave (or not) around. "You do, I don't." It was just one more thing that made them so different.
"There isn't a guidebook, there's no one right way to be a good ghoulfriend or boilfriend, you know. You just do what you can within your comfort zone and if it works, awesome." He patiently listened to her, smiling softly at the idea she was presenting to him. Growing old and wrinkly with someone was a rather charming thought... When she turned the question back on him he once more scratched his jaw; he knew it was coming, he figured she'd do that, but he didn't have an answer prepared. This whole talk, while needed, was severely unprepared for.
"...To be honest? I don't really know anymore." He started slowly, briefly biting the inside of his cheek. "I mean, I could list off all the reasons in my head and they're all true; you're sweet, caring, cute, motherly...I do have feelings for you, strong ones, but then I think about everything else and it's just...we don't mesh well. Especially not for the long-term, I don't think." He linked his fingers together, trying to imitate cogs.
"How many times since we started dating have you sat like that because of me?" A brief gesture was given to the way she was sitting, curled up and miserable. "I like being affectionate in public, but you really don't. I'm an a** with few friends; you're a sweetheart and a social butterfly. You want to get married right away and have a lot of babies and a nice house with a picket fence, and you want your friends over and do all these fantastic things together with them...but I don't want to get married, I don't want kids - especially not that many - if I do become a ferryman I won't be home often, and I couldn't ask you to move around with me, especially if we do have kids. Plus, again, none of your friends really like me, and you think they're going to want to keep coming over when I'm home? Whispering Oaks probably won't happen again." At least not with him around, or so he thought.
"I thought I could get used to the idea, you know...I thought if I had you at my side I could do anything or get used to the sort of life you want so bad. I have changed, I know I have..." His brow furrowed, his voice quieting so she wouldn't have to hear the little catch of emotion. "But I look over, and no matter what good I do, I end up doing twice as many bad things and you end up looking at me with---well, like that--" He gestured to her again. "--or with disapproval and it just...I don't know what I'm fighting for any more."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 11:09 am
"Only if I value their opinion," Lizzy frowned as she echoed after Mac, as if trying to internalize what he was saying; she had always thought that getting Junko's approval, or anyone else's approval, was for both of them... That life would be easier if her boilfriend wasn't constantly being judged or disliked, but if Mac had never cared about what they thought of him... She was doing it for herself? Life would be easier for her, because then she wouldn't have to explain anything to anyone, but the only reason she even felt compelled to explain was because... She valued their opinion? Her frown only deepened as Mac continued to speak, and although she didn't outwardly show it, she had to agree with him on a couple of points.
"Actually, I don't want to get married right away anymore... Or have lots of scarelings... Because of reasons," She replied sheepishly, looking down at her toes. She soon perked up, her gaze returning to Mac as she tilted her head to a side, "Move around... Like in a houseboat?" She had seen those in a documentary about mobile homes once, a long time ago, "That sounds... Really cute, actually. If it's with you..."
There will just be a lot of floatation devices around the house.
"But did you enjoy Whispering Oaks?" She couldn't resist asking, going quiet as she scooted closer, leaning against him as she laid her head down on his shoulder. She sat there in silence, eyes closed, musing over what Mac just said; she always knew that they were different, all the way down to their interests, but she never really stopped to think about how that might affect them in the long run. She never realized that she might be causing him to suffer.
"Mac," She leaned away, turning her body towards the reaper so that she could properly face him, legs tucked under her body, "You didn't do that many bad things... Apart from... You know, the bad things. Everything else was me being sensitive, and... I didn't realize that I was putting unnecessary pressure on you. I forgot that you might be my boilfriend, but you're my friend too... So..." Gently, hesitantly, she cupped his cheek with a hand, afraid that she might be rejected, "Can you give me one more chance? To give you something to fight for?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 9:33 am
Mac nodded. She valued their opinion because they were her friends, and Lizzy - at least in his eyes - was always eager for approval. He just didn't care about them, that was all there was to it. He had tried of course, but his methods were...questionable at best.
"Even so, I don't think our lives are going to mesh well. And no, not a houseboat...on just a regular boat, out in the elements. No fancy clothing, no people other than strangers, just the water." That was the life he was hoping for, and the life he was selfishly clinging to; it's all he wanted. He never did fit well into society, he was better off interacting with as few of them as possible.
"...Not as well as I'd hoped." Mac murmured in response to her Whispering Oaks question. "The rides were fun, but on the whole I could've done without it. The way he babies that ghoul sickens me." The Reaper scoffed, propping his chin up on his palm, his elbow on his knee. They were at a theme park. You go there for the rides. He shouldn't have to trick someone onto an actual roller coaster...nor should he have to put up with Shun (and vice versa, really). Putting them together was like gas and water...or just throwing the gas on coals.
She turned to him, and he let her put her hand on his cheek. Her hand was as cool as it always was, which was at best reassuring. Could he give her another chance? He didn't have anything to forgive her for; she was and had always been herself. That was her only transgression. His lips pressed together in a thin line, clearly thinking through his answer; he didn't know what he wanted to do. Without a doubt he loved her, but...
"Can you handle one more chance? Are you okay knowing that your friends don't like me, and that I don't give a s**t what they think? That I'll probably never be able to offer a stable home? You know, we don't really have much in common either, now that I'm thinking about it." Mac sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I would love to make this work, but since I do care about you, I want what's best for you, and I want to be realistic." This was a tune he had sung before, but it was still as true now as it was when he first said it. "So you have to be completely honest with yourself, too." Lizzy did have a tendancy to try to cater to people, sometimes.
"What if we're like Hel and Mot? Two different people trying to make it work - granted, neither of us are as bad as he is, but the point is..." His nose wrinkled, losing his train of thought for that. Stupid Mot.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 10:30 am
"You will be gone for months at a time, won't you?" Lizzy asked, lifting her free hand to Mac's other cheek before gently squishing his chins simultaneously, "You're right, I'm not suited for the type of life you want... Maybe you would be better off if you had fallen in love with someone else... But too bad, you're stuck with me." Despite it being said like she was teasing, she couldn't help choking up near the end of the sentence, knowing how true it was.
"Mitsu is the only person I've seen Shun baby. He's so hard on everyone else," She couldn't help laughing, squishing his cheeks again, "I think its fun to watch... Ah, um, just for your information, the real Mitsu came home a while ago... She regressed back to what she was like when we first met her, and lost her voice. I don't know what they did, but..." She could only imagine what Mitsu might had gone through.
"I've handled worse things," She replied, perhaps a little too confidently; she had avoided being turned into a statue, bring turned into a weapon... Yet her relationship issues with Mac was still what hit her the hardest. With a sigh, she tilted his face to look at her, "And if it still doesn't work out after this talk... Hopefully I would have graduated, and not being able to see each other would make it easier for both of us. Even right now, just seeing you makes me want to be close to you..." She paused the moment Mot and Hel were brought up, letting go off his cheeks. For a while, she stayed silent; it was no secret that Mac did not approve of or like Mot very much. Especially after what happened to Hel.
"Hel is a lot like you, and Mot is a lot like me... Except I had always enjoyed every minute of us being close," She continued, looking away, her cheeks reddening, "It's why we get along with one more than the other. You know, I never knew that love could fade. Is that what happened between your previous relationships? It scares me to think that... If we... If we break up now, would my feelings for you fade too? Would your feelings for me fade over time?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:39 am
"Stuck, huh?" Mac didn't like the way she said that, nor was he entirely comfortable with the way this conversation was going. It seemed to be all his fault - again - but he couldn't help but think Lizzy was being too agreeable or optimistic about this. Even if he was amused by the way she was playing with his face.
"Yeah? Glad she's okay. Mostly." Regressed, huh? Well, that should be all sorts of fun. As long as that jackin' cat doesn't go after Whip again, they should be fine.
His suspicions were confirmed; she was being way too optimistic.
"Don't compare yourself to Mot. Mot is scum for what he did." The Reaper frowned, but shook his head. "Love can fade, it does fade. I understand that part, at least." The way Mot went out though...that was cruel. So very cruel. "I don't know, Lizzy...if - and when, at this rate - ours fades, what do we have left?" He scratched the back of his neck, looking sheepishly at the floor. His words, as they always tended to, hurt. But it was a hurt he still felt they needed. "I'd really rather end it amicably now, or keep this up and have it end badly later..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 12:09 pm
"Stuck," Lizzy repeated, wriggling her fingers at him before sighing, letting her hands fall on her lap, "He made a terrible, horrible mistake..." She didn't say anything more, mostly because she wasn't sure what else to say regarding that issue; really, it should be solved by Mot and Hel. What good would it do to talk about it here?
"So... You don't want to try again," She asked, biting down on her lower lip, "Is that what you're saying?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 12:34 pm
"We can try, if you want. But the way I see it...it'll be good for a little while, it always is...but in the end, I'll still be me, and you'll still want your friends to like me, which just won't happen. We'll probably stop talking for a bit, accidentally...and then we'll end up right here again, having this conversation for the fourth time." He took a deep breath, trying to not sound entirely sad at the idea.
"I'm saying we should seriously consider skipping through to the inevitable." Mac said softly, watching her instead of staring at the floor. This was important.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 1:01 pm
"The inevitable, huh?" She played with her hair, and then with the edge of her skirt, before taking a deep breath, looking up in order to meet his gaze, "You know I'll want to try again, so... Unless you are strongly against the idea..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 1:24 pm
Mac found himself taking a deep breath of his own, biting the inside of his cheek. This sucked this sucked this sucked. "...Strong enough, I think, to think we'd be better off as friends."
"If...if you'd still even want to be that." He wanted to stay friends. He liked her still, and let's be honest; he didn't have many friends.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 1:30 pm
"Of course," Lizzy replied, laughing as she wiped away the tears that had started to fall from her eyes, "Why wouldn't I want to be your friend, puppy?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 1:38 pm
"Don't call me that." He scolded like he used to, but couldn't bring himself to feel cross. Hearing that nickname was...actually rather liberating, in a strange way. He twiddled his thumbs for a moment, unsure of what to do and certainly not going to cry, and eventually leaned over to give her a hug.
"I'm sorry."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 1:43 pm
"I call you whatever I want to, puppy puppy pup-," She huffed, and then wrapped her arms around him, easily returning the hug. She then buried her face in his shirt, not caring about how she was getting tears - among other things - all over it, "Don't say sorry. You saying sorry makes it feel like the past year had just been one huge mistake."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
