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Rishi gave a little smile when the girl thanked him, antennae twitching, then went back to looking at Yansa once more, listening as the woman said that he had done well in caring for the child, "I am glad, I haven't ever wrapped a wound for another person before." Only for Itzal he thought to himself, then flushed a bit when she said that she had to admit that she said wasn't sure if he had it in him, "I... neither did I. Before I met Jerarda and a few others I doubt I would have had it in me to do such a thing." After all he'd been struggling a bit just to leave his village after all, a bit too timid to do even that without building himself for even such a small walk.

He wondered if he should admit that the whole encounter with the monster, as well as having to look after the girl, he had been left a little shaky. He doubted he had to say it, it was obvious enough after all. Giving a smile he said, "I trule think at times that Aisha sent Jerarda to me." At least it was what he felt, as if Aisha wanted to help him see him led forth into the world instead of being kept locked away forever.

Rishima watched as Yansa started to take things out of her pack, all of them wrapped up, and he couldn't help but to wonder what she was doing at the moment, what she was getting out, and then looked up at her when she commented on how no one was flawless, not even Jerarda. He gave a little nod of his head, sure that she might her flaws, but he still couldn't help but to admire her and want to be as confident as she was one day.

Sudden, as the weapons were laid out before him, he found himself starring down at them, "Weapon?" He murmured, then nodded, giving Itzal a little nudge to have him step back and over to where his pack was sitting as he was left to look over the pile of weapons in a curious manner. The bow and arrows could be useful from a distance, a sword might be useful in a close in battle were he to get into another fight, same with the dual swords which were what his mother wielded, and then to the spear that he saw many of the the Alkidike with such a weapon. He shifted in place, looking thoughtful sound in his throat.

After what felt like forever he pointed toward the spear, "I would like the spear, please." He said antennae twitching. It was the spear calling out to him at the moment, what felt as though it would fit best in his hand.

Rishima caught the speak thrown his way, looking the weapon over, shifting it in his hands. It felt a little on the heavy side but then again he supposed that he was no where near used to holding such a thing, was he? His antennae gave a twitch, drawing his attention to her as she moved her spear, something that he found himself for a moment starring at, "Ahh...?" She was telling him to emulate his idol, something he was trying to do of late though copying her particular brand of confidence and arrogance was still a little beyond Rishima. Perhaps one day he could truly emulate her... though the next order was one that had his mismatched eyes going wide, jaw dropping a little.

"A-Attack you?" He asked, his voice unsteady, hands tightening on the weapon he'd just been given. He attempted to visualize himself doing such a thing but even in his mind he couldn't do such a thing, he didn't want fight with his sisters, didn't want to attack them, he just wanted to be allowed to walk among them, "I... I can't attack you." Even if he wanted to attack he didn't even know how to wield the weapon, he'd just look foolish, wouldn't he? Antennae twitching up a storm now due to his nerves he tried to understand why it was that Yansa wanted him to attack. Was she wanting to see if he had any skill with the weapon? Skill at battle? Skill in general?

No matter what it was surely he should attack something else? A target, perhaps? He'd say an enemy but he didn't really want to go picking fights at the moment since he'd barely gotten out of the last one he was in and that was due to luck mostly. Clutching the spear closer he found himself wondering if she were going to want it back immediately since he couldn't follow the order she'd given him.

Rishima's antennae gave a little twitch before he gave a half smile, "I just... can't. You are one of my sisters, someone that I want to be able to get close to, to learn from, and if possible, if I am lucky enough, be allowed to talk with despite being what I am." He said, shifting in place, looking a little embarrassed over his own words, "I know... I know there are many of our sisters that don't like me. Back home I am referred to as my mother's 'youthful indiscretion' but I want to become more then that in the eyes of the others..." His words grew more quiet as he said those words, hands clutching at his spear, eyes on the ground.

The young halfbreed was a little afraid to look up, as if worried that she would care for his answer but it was the truth. He just couldn't raise his weapon against one of his sisters. Especially given that he had no training, what if he did something wrong? What if he accidentally hurt her? There would be others that would think that he did it on purpose, that he did it because he was half Shifter. He wondered if he were doing the wrong thing, his sisters were powerful after all, they probably shouldn't hesitate, he bet that Jerarda wouldn't. Lowering the tip of the weapon so it was pointed at the ground, not wanting to look as if he were in an attack position he dared to look up at Yansa, curious as to what she might say or do next, half thinking at this point that she would want her weapon back, "I... I can give back the spear if you wish." He said, his mismatched eyes looking her way, seeming as if he were waiting for that now.

Rishima looked quite confused at that statement, his sister's feared his mixed heritage. That seemed a little strange to him, having never really seen anything about him that was really worth fearing. Yansa explained it a moment later though, saying it was because he feared he would betray them for the other half of his bloodline, "I... don't know. I want to be an Alkidike... though at the same time I... do wish that I could have met my father." He explained, not wanting to hide it from her that he wished he could have met that man, "I think maybe I would have understood myself more then but... I guess I can't be positive about." It was mostly a guess, he didn't know what the man was like after all so he had no idea what he might have learned from him were he still alive or if things would have been any different then they were now if he had met him.

"I don't know about loyalty... but I feel no malice toward them either, those I have see so far, met so far, I... don't feel as though I wish to attack them or anything." He wondered if he should, would that be more expected of him? More in character for an Alkidike? He wished he knew more about both the Shifter and the Alkidike, feeling as though he had been far too sheltered from life to this point.

Rishima shifted in place as he thought over her words, trying to decide how exactly it was that he should answer her. He wanted to walk among his sisters, the people that he grew up watching from afar. He wanted to be strong like his mother, like Jerarda, like the others that he had seen during their journey from Jauhar to this place. The problem being that, while he wanted to be one of them, he was also curious about his other half, "I... am uncertain how to answer. What I want more then anything is to be accepted, to walk among my sisters, to be looked at in a welcoming manner instead of in a cautious manner or just one that says that I am unwanted." He murmured, his antennae twitching a bit as he spoke, "But despite that I have to admit I am curious about my other half and more over I want to know what happened to my father, what caused him to disappear, and why he never came home. Is that wrong?"

He glanced up at Yansa for a long moment before saying, "I understand if that makes it so that you don't want to trust me with the secrets you mention. If I don't deserve to be privy to them then it is something I will come to understand." If they didn't trust him then they didn't trust him he thought to himself before he flipped the spear over in his hands and held it out to Yansa, in case she wanted her weapon back. He could only hope that he wasn't banished from the tribe was all. He knew it might be something seen as being a bad thing that he was curious about the Shifters, more so that he wanted to know what happened to his father, and what if he did meet the man? Would he been seen as an enemy of the tribe for wanting to talk with the man?

"What I want isn't as important as the tribe itself, this much I know. If my desire for answers isn't something that goes hand in hand with walking the path with my sisters... I..." He trailed off, antennae pressing against his head and he dropped his gaze to the floor. He knew he would need to understand. The downside being that meant that he might need to part from those that he had been traveling with to this point.

It was strange to find someone like this praising him, telling him that his strong will and curiosity were commendable traits instead of reasons that she might send him away as he'd feared they be. As she continued to speak he couldn't help but to flush a little, finding that before Yansa only Jerarda had said such nice things to him. Sure his mother did as well, to a point, but never did she encourage him to step outside of his normal life, instead seeming to want to keep him at home... he understood why after this journey but he also understood that it was no longer a life he could go back too. Especially after Yansa mentioned that he had a 'unique and bright future' ahead of him and that she thought that it would serve him and his sisters were he accept the rank of Blade.

Needless to say the young halfbreed seemed to be left speechless as well as a little slack jawed. After a time he was able to get himself in check, stuttering out a few unintelligible words before he paused, took a deep breath, and tried again, "A... Blade." It was something he'd only thought about, never thinking that he might actually get such a chance, even though Jerarda told him that he could and would become one. His antennae gave a twitch before he looked down at the hand that was grasping his, seeming to be thinking over his words and how exactly to word his thoughts before saying, "I... want to become a Blade, to serve our tribe, and even one day become accepted. Perhaps I will miss out on things if I follow the path of the Alkidike but... but even if by Aisha's grace I were to find my father I wouldn't stay with him among the Shifters. If anything I would want to bring him home, back to mother. I was raised among the Alkidike." To a point at least, "And it is where I feel that I belong." Even if some of the others didn't believe the same.

Shifting in place once more, he lifted his mismatched gaze up toward Yansa again and gave her a smile, one that reached his eyes, and seemed filled with excitement, so much so that his antennae were wiggling quite rapidly now, "I... I want to serve you and the rest of my sisters to the best of my ability." He said, trying to keep his words steady despite his emotions wanting to get the best of him.