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 Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 12:52 pm
"Well I..." Ah hell with it Lou didn't need to know all the facts. It was mostly a train wreck anyway. The fact that he didn't just leave didn't have to be brought up.
Leaning a hip against the edge of the couch Titus crossed his arms as he listened to Lou explain about the game of sex. Really he was going for a direct approach he didn't want to p***y foot around with the idea. It seemed simple enough he was at point A and he needed to get to point B and the fastest path was a straight line but according to Lou's little diagram Titus apparently had to make a massive detour to loonyville and back again. Fantastic.
"Tits..." Suddenly Titus thought back to Prom and wondered if this was why he kept hearing his endearing nickname. "Wait what...?" His brows furrowed when he looked at Lou. The boil looked nothing like a ghoul not to mention he had no tits to speak of.
Rubbing at his goatee for a moment Titus gave it some thought. It was just pretend right? Surely it couldn't be that hard. He just had to conjure up something nice to say. Something.....nice. "Nice A rack. Any flatter and you're be an ironing board." See he was pointing out how useful she would be with laundry. It was thoughtful.
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:13 pm
Lou sort of cringe smiled at the boil's first attempt at a compliment, palm moving from cupping his cheek to covering his face.
"I hope you're not talking about the A cups I think you're talking about." The vampire mumbled. If so, things just got a lot more complicated.
"ALRIGHT. So. That was awful. Great if you're trying to shove a bee up someone's bonnet, bad if you're trying to shove something else somewhere else." He was just saying. So what would be a good compliment for a small chest? Uh. Hm.
"How about this. 'Hey, your chest is so small I have to look at your face when you talk'. Women like when you look them in the eye." Yeah. That'd totally work. Or it'd go horribly wrong and the boil would end up getting punched in the face, but that would be just desserts. "Alright, uh. Lets see." The boil tapped his chin in thought. "What do you have going for you?" The vampire's hand gestured to Titus. "Is your hair silky smooth? Got abs? You need to let the ladies know what you're packing if you're going to bait them."
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:41 pm
That look certainly wasn't encouraging. Titus huffed as he leaned back into the couch. "Complimenting is rather new and not in my usual thing. Pardon me if it doesn't come naturally. Why don't you try if you think you can do better." Titus waited as Lou came up with his own line and honestly....it was gold. He should have thought of it on his own.
"You think that will work?" Titus tapped his chin thoughtfully before looking down at himself. As far as clothes he often wore a heavy jacket, and pants all in shades of black. "Well, I work out..." Mostly because he had to. Family business demanded lots of physical activity at times and honestly who wanted to be a fatty? Not this guy. "What I'm packing?"
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:58 pm
"Sure it will!" Maybe. "And you'll get into it, trust me. I'm sure you could come up with many colorful things that'll just sweep her off her feet. Oh, and try talking french. Doesn't matter what you say, she probably won't understand. Ghouls love the sound of french." Yup. Sound advice.
"Yeah. Show her what you're working with. Give her a preview of the goods before she commits. Leave her wanting more." Lou gave a cheesy grin. "You could just, you know. Casually lift up your shirt and give her a peek, or hell just take it off. She starts complaining, start stripping. That always shuts them up." Though for different reasons than Lou probably thought. "Another thing." The boil leaned in and held up a pointer finger. "When a ghoul says she doesn't want something, chances are she really does but she just doesn't want to admit it yet. It goes back to the looney thinking they do." This totally wasn't going to blow up in the nightmare demon's face.
"So back to the pretend game. Oh snaggletooth, please don't take off your shirt." What was the boil's real name? ******** if he knew, but he said his lines in the ghouliest voice he possibly could... Which wasn't very ghouly at all.
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 3:13 pm
"Just babble french?" Well, if they wouldn't understand Titus would just insult them in his own language. It would work for the best. He knew some Italian and Spanish too so if need be he could mix it up.
But now that they were back to the pretend game Titus had no idea what he was supposed to do considering Lou's advice. The boil said don't take off his shirt but his advice had said that often a girl will tell you no to something they actually want because they can't admit that they want it. Troublesome. Apparently the nickname in this case didn't register.
"Alright...." Titus pulled away from the couch and unzipped his jacket and shifted it down his arms. Underneath he had a dark blue button up shirt which he started to undo button by button. Undressing for another guy was totally not bothering him at all.....
He felt awkward.
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 4:22 pm
Ahahah. He was really doing it. What a dope. Lou let lose a little snicker as the boil continued with his sad little strip tease before shaking his head. "Okay. You can stop now. I can see you've got the right idea." That's all Lou needed to see that the lesson had been absorbed.
"Then, if you're feeling extra generous or really want to seal the deal, buy her something. Doesn't really matter what. Could be one of those dead flowers they sell at the counters of stores." Because it was the thought that counted, and just thinking to buy a ghoul something was thought enough in Lou's opinion. Besides, Titus probably didn't have enough brain cells to put thoughts into gifts.
Letting his eyes drift, the boil looked around his room, staring at the foxfires momentarily before something else popped into that dead little brain of his. "OH." His finger's snapped. "And if she's of animal descent, treat her like one." It sounded much worse than it was. "Like, if she's a werewolf, throw her a ball. Or if she's some kind of cat, use catnip. Or if she's part kushi throw moonflower seeds at her. They love those." Not that he'd ever met such a ghoul, but Stiletto seemed happy enough when offered seeds. Might as well cover all bases.
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 4:32 pm
The snicker made Titus stop. He had already unbuttoned all but three buttons on his shirt leaving his toned torso well in view. Shrugging he unbuttoned the last few and shrugged his jacket back into place leaving them both open. Why not? At least he seemed to be on the right path he would just need to remember this for application.
"Buy her something?" Why the hell would Titus want to do that? "I want to sleep with her not woo her into marrying me." He was so caring.
Lou's next tip was interesting though, his mind zeroing in on the catnip thing. "Catnip you say..." It was possible Titus was going to have to make a stop at the minipet store. "Alright I'll keep that in mind."
Looking around for a moment Titus eyed the door. "Well, any last minute tips?"
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 5:08 pm
Well, this had been a good talk. Lou really felt like he had gotten to know the demon boil. He was an idiot, and that was a good thing to know for future exploitations.
"Hey. I'm just saying if you really want to make it a guaranteed thing." Lou was rather liberal with money when he got it, so he had no problem throwing it out the window for some chick.
Though it seemed as if his speculations might've been right when Titus mentioned catnip. Lou's brows knitted together for only moments before he nodded. "Yep. Catnip." It would, however, prove to be a fantastic story should the boil fail... And Lou had no doubts he would. It was just a matter of waiting until he came back for more advice.
Looked like their time together was coming to an end. What a pity. That meant the vampire would have to go back to lounging in his underwear and watching soap operas. Oh, wait. He wanted to do that.
Last minute tips, he said? Oh, he had a tip. "If all else fails and you find yourself in a predicament..." The boil reached up to grab his own ears as an example. "Try touching the ears. Might work, might not." Different sensitivity and all that, though generally it got good reactions from cats. "Go get 'em champ. Don't you take no for an answer!"
Eheheheheheh.
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 12:08 am
Titus nodded at the new advice storing it away from the time when he would use it. "I suppose I will give it a try."
He looked at the door one last time before turning to Lou and extending his hands. "Thanks by the way."
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 4:15 am
Lou had expected the boil to be out and on his way at that point. What he hadn't expected was the expression of gratitude on Titus's part. It almost made him feel bad about the fact that the boil would undoubtedly fail again.
ALMOST.
"Oh, yeah. Sure man. Anytime. Let me know how it goes." That was all he was truly concerned about, after all. Getting the fantastic story.
"Now if you don't mind..." Remote in hand, the ScreeV flipped on to a ghoul proclaiming her overwhelming love for some ugly schmuck named Pete. "I have to watch my soaps."
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 9:50 am
Don't worry Lou, there was no need to feel bad. Titus' gesture of gratitude would only take him so far. As soon as he grasped the boil's hand he jerked him forward, his other hand already balled into a fist ready to meet his face.
"Yeah, no problem, enjoy your tv," Titus grinned before releasing the vampire and making his way to the door and just leaving it open behind him.
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 10:34 am
BAM.
How had he not seen that coming? Lou fell back on the couch, this time with a black eye. Oh. Ohohoho. So that's how it was going to be.
"Yes, of course."
Watching the boil leave with the door open, a wicked grin spread across his features, little locks of hair curling. "I hope she eats you alive."
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