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 Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 2:00 pm
Calder reached down to pick up Malodore's hat, inspecting it a moment and flicking off a slug that crawled upon it's brim. "Having a heart isn't easy or logical at times. It has it's own rules for everyone. You can't be logical when things like this happen. You just - got to feel it out." He let out a sigh, offering Mal his hat back.
"It's why I can't give you all the answers. I'm just speaking for what I feel here. Being in love isn't easy. It never is. It can't be all moonlight nights and fluttery bats all the time. If you say is true that Riley is willing to learn, and that your memories help her remember, then you are giving her the memories to make her that person again that you love. You have what she needs. If you forget your memories, then you really are just letting the old Riley die. It's probably not easy for her either. She's relying on you. If anything, you two are struggling together through a new challenge. Why would you want to let her struggle alone or take on that burden alone?" He placed the hat back on the undead's head and gave the top a pat to secure it.
" Like I said, you have friends two who are helping her memories along, and if you feel too frustrated, just come to us. I know part of this relies on you as her boilfriend, but not all of it." He smiled softly, hoping that the burden that the undead was feeling would feel more shared between his support group than on it's shoulders alone.
"Right now it will be rough since she's starting from scratch, but the more you all work to it, the more she's going to get there. In the meantime, just pace yourself between the old memories you give her, and create new ones. Then she'll come to the end with the memories of you from before, and all the new ones she created in the meantime." They had a year left. Was Malodore worries that if graduation came, that Riley still wouldn't love him and move on?
"If you need any help, just ask." He sighed. Not knowing if he helped in any way. "I just don't think forgetting is the best way. If you were her, having all these people around you and someone special, wouldn't you want to know why they look at you so lovely? Wouldn't you want to know who you were, what you liked, what you've done, and get back to feeling normal? You two are both lost I guess, but despite how bad your navigation is in the real world, I think you both will find the way." He poked at Malodore's poor navigation the night of their date, and hoped it would lighten the mood. Mal needed a lot of mood lighteners.
They all did.
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 5:00 pm
Slowly, Malodore took the hat back, though it made no move to actually put the hat on its head. Instead, it worried at the brim as it spoke, working the much-loved fabric between its fingers. "Expecting her to become the same again... much as my heart wishes it, it... I am not the same as I was, either. I have changed. I am not the same as the Malodore she once loved, but..."
It took a deep breath, speaking haltingly as it tried to put thoughts into words. "Perhaps this new... this new Malodore can also find love with this new Riley... but I must discard my expectations. And my judgement," it said, with a sigh. It had to admit, it had been constantly watching her, analyzing her. Every 'failure' on her part was like a blade - but that was grossly unfair to her. "I must release my old pain, and my old expectations, in order to permit something new to grow?"
It was clear from the way the plague doctor looked almost beseechingly at Calder that it wanted - needed - validation.
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 5:18 pm
Calder saw the look and resisted the urge to shrug. Instead, he smiled and gave a nod despite not wanting to the be in the place of giving some unspoken promise. "Now that sounds logical to me. Can't expect someone to be their old self if they can't remember it. Just don't give up on her, but don't forget what you two created either. Just take it up slowly from scratch and treat it as a new ....chapter in an old relationship." He patted Malodore on the back (maybe with a bit more strength than intended), and looked ahead to spot the river he had been looking for.
"On another note, I need to fetch something." Calder pointed, gesturing that Malodore could follow and continue their conversation as he moved to a river. There was a log he knew was long since fallen here and half in the water, nicely rotting from soaking up all the water, and thick with moss. Undoing his sporran and leaving it on the shore, Calder moved to wade into the water, moving around the massive log and feeling around the bottom.
"How long does Riley have to stay there? Does she get to leave? Do you visit her?" He asked, reaching around before noting the change in texture. Taking the handle of the basket, he bit it and then adjusted the jar instead to keep it in place, and then used both hands to slowly pull back a layer of thick moss before pulling it up and out of the later. In once piece was a deep purple moss speckled with very tiny, red stems, looking more hairy than anything. He then put the moss in the jar.
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 8:58 pm
"Si... if that makes sense to you, as well, then perhaps I shall try it. Though it is not a simple thing, to release all those things... I feel I must, in order to have any chance of truly healing." It opened its beak in a tentative smile.
When Calder moved, it followed, shifting to lift its robes and wading in after the kelpie. "I do not know how long she must remain there. She has left, once, but under guard and escort... and I have visited her. Only once, but then it has not been so long since all of this came to my awareness." Curious, it leaned down. "What type of moss is that? How unusual..."
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 9:09 pm
Calder reaching about, digging his nails into the soft underbelly of the log to pull off a bit more of the thick moss. "Doesn't leave you much time to be around her. I bet she cherishes all the time out, and the visits. Maybe you could give her some things that she might like since she has all that time there. Maybe give her a present or some flowers." Calder suggested, reaching up for the jar to put more of the moss before dipping it into the water to fill the jar.
"I don't know what most people call it. Mum called it Gill-Green Weed. It attracts little phish that eat it and that helps it's seeds get moved about. They like the little red flowers. Makes their gills green. Good for upset stomach." He placed the jar in the basket, before gesturing to the shore.
"There is a bit more I need to grab down this river, and then a flower by some rocks." He rose out of the water, squeezing his tail before offering a hand to Mal with a smile. "Didn't expect you to get in the water. Your bandages are going to get soaked."
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 9:15 pm
Malodore gingerly shifted its grip on its robes to be one-handed before taking Calder's hand for balance. "I could, perhaps - I am not sure what they would permit me to take, but it might be nice for her to have a few things. Books, maybe. Things to occupy her time... I am not very skilled with the traditional modes of courting, but... that is not courting, it is merely concern and care for a loved one." It opened its beak wider, its smile growing more genuine. Slowly, it was untangling its feelings.
"Show me the plants?" it added, taking a step forward. "My legs are not bandaged until above the knee, so I will not be over-soaked if I wade. And should I fall... well, I am a washable creature."
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 9:27 pm
Calder laughed. "Don't tell me that or I'll really have to dunk you under for fun." He teased, before gesturing to where he was going. "Anything would be nice. I bet she is bored, and any gesture would be appreciated. Even very liked even. Courting isn't bad for her either. I doubt you are the laying it on thick kinda boil considering you guys only just started having dates." If Malodore was serious, courting was the way to go to winning her over and feeling the same things from before. That and it was just nice. He wanted Mal to see Riley as less of a patient if that was what the undead was concerned about.
Further down the river, Calder moved back to wade through the water. "Mud is thick here. Be careful if you're coming in." He warned, before moving through some long stalks of plants that wagged back and forth in the breeze. Pulling it's hair over it's shoulder, Calder dunked down into the water, feeling in the mud around the roots before uprooting one of the plants and rising up. Brushing the hair from his eyes, he rose up the plant to inspect the root. It was akin to a leathery brown sack, and giving it a shake, the kelpie could hear the liquid inside. He tossed the root to the shore near his basket and tried for another, rising once more before holding up another root.
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 9:42 pm
"Laying it on thick..." It took a moment for Malodore to puzzle out that figure of speech, but then it nodded. "I... I think I could be, now. But it would not be good - it would be forcing, as you said. I do not wish to venture into that territory. Later, though, when we have found an equilibrium..."
It declined to go in further when Calder re-entered the river, though it did crane its neck to try and watch as the kelpie inspected the plant. "And this one? This is your clan's herbal medicine, is it not? How will you apply this one? It is fascinating..." And a good distraction, at least. Grounding.
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 9:53 pm
Calder heaved himself out of the mud and onto the bank, reaching over to snap off the shots and just leave the root, setting them into the basket. "You break open the skin and collect the juice. You drink it then. It's supposed to make you stronger and help healing. Never tried it before, but I've seen my mum use them. I learn everything from her. Don't know others would use it. Kepies gotta drink a lot of what we need. We absorb stuff faster with water." He rose up, wiping the dirt off on his kilt before slowly walking into the woods.
He'd been mulling over a question, and glanced at the undead a moment. "So...." How did he phrase this? "....you seem like you like the water. I remember you grew up in a swamp, and then left your clan. So, did you just leave?" Malodore said it left to pursue it's own idea of medicine, but the details were few about the undead's past. It seemed that the undead was as hesitant to talk about it's clan as Calder was about his.
Calder just, really didn't know anyone else who left a clan before. He was wondering how it worked. How the undead dealt with just deciding something so drastic and doing it.
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 10:26 pm
"Hmmm... fascinating. Your kind is most resourceful," Malodore said, opening its beak in a smile. It didn't know as much about plant medicine, given that most plague doctors didn't care for such methods.
As it followed, though, it tilted its head at Calder's question. "Si, I did... it is complicated, I must admit. They were, ah, going to exile me, actually - but not before taking my mask." One hand automatically went up to touch its beak. "That would have rendered me blind and unable to speak. Some of my exiled people have figured out a way past these things, but... it would have been extremely traumatic. It was only with the aid of others that I was able to escape the Casa whole."
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 11:18 pm
"You become resourceful when you don't associate with others." He said with a slight bitterness.
Exile. The word sent a cold shiver down his spine. Exiles were rouge. Out of the clan. Some made their own groups. Rebel herds. He'd have none. He'd be one of those delinquents the other kelpies told their children never to become. However, as Malodore spoke, Calder picked up on something.
"I didn't know your clan was that bad to go to that extremes. I suppose they have strong ideals as well. You.....don't seem like you chose it? Does that mean you wanted to stay?" Maybe Mal wasn't the type of person he should be speaking with about this. Calder was making the choice, though still dangerous.
Calder also had no idea that Malodore's mask was that important, and had only seen it as an accessory. There was still much about Plague Doctors and Mal he had yet to learn about.
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 7:25 pm
"I had hopes," Malodore said, wryly; there was an edge of old, old bitterness to its words. "Hopes that, in time, my Casa - my clan - could be changed to a less stagnant, rigid structure. I was willing to learn, to stay there so that I could enact change from within. Then I saved a young valkyrie's life through unorthodox methods, and was sentenced to exile." It shrugged, the movement rippling through its wings.
"I could have left sooner, by making my so-called 'treachery' more plain from the start - they would have thrown me out far faster, then. But I suppose I was an idealist at heart. Science is the study of change, after all..."
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 7:46 pm
"Oh..." He looked away, growing quiet as they walked. Doubt was flooding fresh in his system, and his stomach twisted into sailor's knots the more he thought about it. Maybe he was wrong to just up and leave? Maybe he was more useful in his clan? Maybe he was going about this the wrong way? Maybe he wouldn't be exiled? Should he try harder to ask the clans to make an exception considering he had done nothing wrong previously?
Then again, this wasn't just about changing the clan's ideas about working with others and being allowed to work outside of the clan for their benefit. There was Barth as well, and that was something they would never agree to, especially considering he had Murchadh's anklet.
Glancing back, he pulled at what strings he could to justify his actions even just slightly. "If.....if you could go back to the Casa and they would take you back.....would you?"
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 10:42 pm
"I would not," Malodore said immediately - and firmly. "Their way of life and my own, as I have discovered it to be, are fundamentally incompatible. I could never be so isolated and so shut off from knowledge. Even returning to the exiles' village might well be too stifling for me at this point... no, my friend, there is no danger of my returning to the Casa." It offered Calder a smile, unaware of his true motivation behind asking these questions.
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:17 pm
Calder went quiet, resigned to the fact that what he was doing wasn't the same as what Malodore had experienced, and considering that Malodore had seemed to have other exiles to help him, he felt the transition would be different. For a moment, he thought he might be able to get some reassurance or some sort of hopeful piece of advice, but he was left back to worrying about what he had to do.
They soon came upon a shaded field where Calder moved to some rock slabs jutting up from the ground. Here he started to root about before finding a few orange flowers with blue stripes about their stems. Taking a knife, he started to cut the stems.
Malodore probably was like most undeads and had no family. There was no one to impress, to bring any sense of pride by staying or impressing the figures at the Casa. There was also no reason for him to return to that area. As much as he loved his undead friends, which he noticed he had a lot of, he sometimes wondered if he should meet more monsters to talk to them. He felt - separated at times like this.
"Malodore. Could you do me a favor? I know you are busy, but I'm going home for a few days. Christof isn't good with friends, and Barth...well, doesn't get out much. Could you check on my leeches and eponies for me? I gave them a lot of food to last them a long time, but I want to make sure they will be okay. I can give you my dorm key while I'm away." And if he didn't return, well, someone could set his minipet free.
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