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 Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 11:13 am
☾ ★ ★ (Tensed) Strings That Bind
They're even more difficult to untangle It was a humid evening through the canopy-enveloped settlement, one that promised rain in the hours to come. The sweltering heat of the sun throughout the day had warmed the moisture to an uncomfortable level, and Enitan found himself waking up earlier than he otherwise would had it not been for this fact. He was groggy and a bit irritated, but this was hardly a leap from the norm. Rainforest and summertime just didn't like to mix all that well, and although the boy may have been used to it, it didn't mean he necessarily had to like it. In fact, it was days like this that tended to exhibit the most atrocious of weather conditions. He almost wished it would rain, even if the town had had its fair share of it lately. However, Enitan wasn't one to dwell on things beyond his grasp, at least things like this. He could manage. He still had an hour or so before the sun completely disappeared, and though he couldn't really see it looming in the sky from his vantage point, the charred grey of his skin told him otherwise. It helped to note that, every so often, a pin-p***k of light filtered through the leaves at sharp angles. It indicated that there was probably still enough of the day left for him to visit his parents, and although the idea grated on him, it was something that they had requested. Better for him to go visit them than they coming out over here to do it instead. At least that way, he wouldn't get a scolding to start the visit off, and that was a good enough reason for him. Despite the ill feelings, he wasn't as bitter about the whole idea as he may let on. At this point in time, he had acquired and maintained the space between them for just over a year. If his resentment had much founding anymore, it was mostly out of play, or something he expected them to still think he held close to. But family was family, and blood ties weren't something he'd curse with a grudge so willingly. Maybe they really did see him as more of an adult now, and retained the distance out of acceptance of this fact? "Well whaddya know? Eni-boy's decompressed enough to show his face for a few minutes!" Nope, there went that theory. The prentice immediately felt himself deflate a bit out of disappointment, though it wasn't unexpected. The phrase had been just as close to a "hello" as he was getting these days, and although his father was well-meaning and trying a jab at humor with the statement, there was only so far a joke could go before it got stale. Truthfully, his father wasn't exactly wrong about it, either. After a mere half hour, Enitan was getting a bit fidgety being back in this place, and antsy to leave again. While he hadn't planned to stick around for dinner, he ended up preoccupying his time -- and his hands -- by cutting up some ingredients for a thick stew that his parents had been planning on fixing. His mother's handiwork made the stew more like paste by adding little water, but although this was looked at to be rather poor in regards to how to prepare cuisine, it was also what became standard for the household. Although it had always been this way, since Enitan was but a child, he couldn't help but feel just a little grateful that he wouldn't be sticking around to partake of the meal; in all honesty, it was hardly edible. He just liked chopping the ingredients up, despite the nudging every once in a while that he was slicing things too fine, or measuring it to a ridiculous degree. He had been carefully slicing a root (no doubt traded for at a shop in town), measuring for equal-sized pieces and an even number, when he felt eyes at his back. He stiffened up, but held the blade where it was, halfway into the meat of the root. Reactions took direction as though he had just been spotted by a rather vicious wadana, muscles tensed as though ready to bolt out of the way should things prove dangerous. Enitan was merely waiting for a response, however, and yet another he could predict the content of; it came with little delay. "Women's work, Eni?" the man snorted. He probably couldn't have made the despondency any more glaring if he tried. It was obvious that the self-exile that Enitan thrust onto himself from home -- as well as the majority of the tribe -- was not only to benefit the boy. However, in his absence and rejection of family tradition seemed to only wear down his father's patience for him to a thread-bare level. Perhaps it was another prod at Enitan to continue down the road to being more self-sufficient, as fathers tended to go out of their way not to "go easy" in these lessons, but there was something about that statement that just wasn't right, even in a lesson. Just because he wasn't female didn't mean he couldn't like cooking. Or cutting things up for cooking, as the case may be. "So chauvinistic..." he growled under his breath. He still could not gain the courage to stand up to him, not after the last confrontation. The last few minutes that the boy stayed in the home after the run-in were spent under hasty, but concealed, duress. His mother seemed discouraged by it, but managed a small smile and a thank you for the help. Both had said that they wouldn't mind him stopping by again -- more frequently, even -- but something told Enitan that the rate at which his visits occurred would not be increasing anytime soon. As he left the confines of a living area that managed to become much too uncomfortably familiar, he noticed that the hue of his skin was turning toward a lighter shade under the moon. It was still a little grey in tone, though, and he frowned at the patchiness that showed up across the surface in transition. It was so... uneven. Taking note of the surroundings as he walked home, he irritatedly scratched at his arm as he counted off the angles and shapes of the familiar crystal here and there that marked the branch pathways, making an effort to calm down and clear his head. He was still stuck on the little annoyances of the evening, his morning, but the further he removed himself from the problem physically, the more it managed to remove himself mentally. It was something that Enitan noticed early on, and he took comfort in the knowledge of this occurrence through routine. It was yet another habit, another pattern, and such things baited alleviation from tension. These were the very reasons they became habits in the first place, after all. Stumbling, Enitan realized with a start that there was something that stood out, something that wasn't quite right with the scenery. With all the dim, dancing lights in the shade of the tree tops, it was difficult to pinpoint what exactly was wrong with this picture. The few nocturnal-dwelling nondwi (adventurous for coming up so high) and a couple lagging kipepwi that pestered the air with their illuminated flight was enough to throw the boy off, almost into thinking it was one of these insects playing hide-and-seek in the sugared leaves that had initially caught his attention. However, they were much too large to have really commanded such mild hesitation on the matter, Enitan understanding that it was something more minor that threw him off. The boy crouched down, closer to eye-level with the branch-dwelling crystals, and scanned the surface. While not as abundant with the luminescent glow as the forest floor seemed to cater to, there was still a plethora of the dim foxfire, enough to catch at the side of one's vision no matter where they turned. Enitan always considered it to instigate a warm feeling about the place (humidity notwithstanding), even with the occasional cropping up of unfamiliar lights. If nothing else, it helped pass the time and set Enitan's mind at ease, even if he could be obsessive about it. It was just a biting of light at the corner of his eye, but he wouldn't have noticed it had it not donned an alternative cloak of color. In fact, he had nearly squashed the poor illo when he reached a hand to brace himself against teetering over, balancing on the balls of his feet. After a minor jolt, a smile crept onto his features, "I thought it was one of you! Aren't you a little late to the party?" Well, even the late-bloomers needed a chance in this harsh world, and it seemed determined enough to try. All of the illo's older brethren had dispatched amongst the maze of leaves overhead, and Enitan was fairly certain that the little guy wouldn't appreciate being disturbed had it actually managed to begin transformation procedures above one of the most traffic-heavy areas of the entire tribe's village. Gingerly, he cornered and redirected it so that it would climb atop his palm from the crystal it was hiking over. He did know the perfect place for the larval insect, after all, and he was headed in that direction as it was, so what was one more thing to carry back? Living on the outskirts of the tribe did have its benefits at times, though one may have to take a few detours through the flimsy logic to find solid foundation. Peering at the highlighter-yellow insect, he found the little thing to be particularly fascinating, "Don't worry, you'll be with family soon enough." Preserving ties through separation was sometimes the only way. [[ Word Count: 1,631 ]]
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Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 11:17 am
☾ ★ ★ RP #1
AIM RP #1, pg.1 Title: Wallflowers Participants: Takoda & Enitan Stage: Prentice ( both) Status: Complete!Premise: While two may have demeanors that can be fairly contrasting and class aims that could be considered polar opposites, some people don't require much to become fast friends. - - - jayoku
It was a busy day, he had spent most of the morning high tailing it from bugs he'd rather not get tangeled up in as well gathering fruits and nuts to trade with. After the down pour the other day it seemed that the creatures of the forest were making up for lost time, his near encounter with the menzuri had sent him fleeing towards town.
Takoda wondered why the creatures seemed to be in a bad mood, then again menzuri's were never in a good mood. The only time they seemed happy was when they were feeding.
His own stomach grumbling he found himself walking into the town, he had made very good time it seemed and people were still bustling about trading. Looking around he shifted his satchel and began to make his way to the food vendor.
MoogerMint
The heart of town tended to make Enitan teeter into uneasiness for a number of different reasons. First off, while it was a close-knit society that the shifters tended to uphold, rarely was it comfortable for anyone to be surrounded by so many that couldn't be higher up the rung than a mere "acquaintance." Enitan wasn't particularly sure that he wasn't going to feel the brunt of teasing whenever he stepped into town, despite such reactions being fairly rare. Not only that, but there were so many man-made things that would catch the boy's eye, so many asymmetrical things that made him awkwardly stare at and wish he had the capabilities to fix on his own, seeing as nobody else would.
But those were bad habits, and as much as they were a part of who he was, they were also actions he needed to stave off. He kept his attention to his knife, twirling it back and forth in his hand to distract himself as he made his way to the food vendor. Times like these, he wished he were more adept at finding his own source of nourishment instead of relying so heavily on others, though very deep down he would relish the idea. He liked people, he truly did, but he had his own thick barriers to contend with.
With distraction could be hazard, however, and Enitan was quick to realize it a little too late. He caught a patch of dampness underfoot and stumbled briefly. It was just enough for him to lose his grip on the knife he was toying with, even though he was successful in not causing too much of a scene. He nimbly grabbed the knife before it managed to fall more than a couple inches, but it had been spinning a bit faster than he was expecting. Before his fingers even grasped fully around the tool, Enitan was wincing in reaction to the blade grazing his palm. Just in time to arrive at his destination.
jayoku
Takoda was already dealing with his own tormentors before Enitan arrived, the teasing that came from the same group of characters, taunts tossed at him about him meeting any glow worms lately, since the last time he had come across this particular group they had thought it funny to throw a bug at him knowing his intense fear. Luckily for Takoda they didn't have a bug at their disposal this time though the teasing was beggining to ramp up with everyone noticed Enitan and his fiddling with his dagger. Everyone felt unsetteled watching him with those things, of course all Takoda noticed was it was another shifter he was aware of and yet didn't know personally. His gaze was locked on the flipping dagger, and as soon as he knew the other shifter had hurt himself, he seperated himself from the group of harrassers and went up to Enitan.
"are you okay?" He murmured softly, wanting to take the other shifters hand to inspect it but waited first to be acknowledged.
MoogerMint
Enitan's first tried response to the situation was to ignore it, despite how easily it pulled for attention. He flicked his gaze toward the wares for trade, trying to contemplate whether he even had enough to bargain with, but found focus to be a tad difficult. It was a bit of a reprieve to be distracted from it with the sudden appearance of a voice, and while being in the most active area of the village, he wasn't eager to hop to the defensive. Survival tactics like those were reserved closer to the outskirts.
However, he was also trying too hard not to appear abnormal while he was out, even though the individuals who frequented the market already coined the label in their heads long ago. This one... he didn't look as familiar, not like that. Enitan attempted to smile through the threatening grimace, "I'm fine, whatever gave you the idea otherwise?" While pride wasn't something that played a big part in his demeanor normally, it did certainly make for obvious verbal falsehoods.
jayoku
Takoda offered a small smile watching as the other found it just awkward being in town as he did, chuckling slightly he pointed to the other's hand. "Well...I couldn't help but notice you cut your hand." Takoda stated gently and softly, "I can help you if you don't mind me touching your hand." He knew this one through the few times he had seen him didn't really appreciate being touched, so he figured it would be best to ask first. "I am Takoda, would you like to move out of the way? We seem to be blocking the main traffic." Takoda noted as they were now being tossed odd looks and some glares for they were in the way.
MoogerMint
Well, that was a little embarrassing. Enitan had a rather high opinion on his own ability to handle knives, under a variety of circumstances. To be caught like this was just unheard of, and he kind of hoped that Takoda had been the only witness to the mishap. He looked a bit hurt at this, glancing downward. It couldn't hurt... and this other kid was only trying to lend aid, something that Enitan was a bit unfamiliar with. Before he had thought to answer, Takoda had introduced himself, and the other boy decided to be quick on the uptake, "Good to meet you, the name's Enitan!" His smile was more sincere this time, eager to absorb the amiable conversation.
"Oh, right right," he said, more hushed as he accepted the offer to move. While attention could be nice and all, in this particular case, Enitan was apt to avoid it. He wore an air of nonchalance as he quickened steps out of the way, meeting irritated gazes with an irresponsible grin. Nope, nothing to see here. Once he was sure they were out of earshot and that Takoda had been following him, he held out his injured palm for inspection with a concerned frown. "I... don't usually have that happen, just so we're clear," he hastily reassured. He wasn't quite sure what another prentice was hoping to accomplish, but he wasn't going to put anything past his new acquaintance.
jayoku
Takoda only smiled as Enitan was quick on the uptake and they were soon moving away from the crowd and away from the taunting voices and jeers. Takoda wanted to stay away from that group, he didn't want Enitan to have to deal with his problems as well, cause he knew that they would ge themselves involved if he didn't n** it in the bud.
Gently he reached out to look at his hand, he nodded his head and lightly trailed a finger down the length of the cut as if measuring it.
"The cut is shallow...so I am sure you must be very good with your knife, if I tried any such thing I probably would of cut a tendon." Takoda complimented the other as he released Enitan's hand and then reached into his satchel, he removed a herb from his bag and then paused, normally he would need a mortar and pestel to grind this up into a paste ..and he didn't have that available.
"Um...you will have to trust me on this.." Takoda murmured as he popped the plant into his mouth and began to chew. "Does it hurt?" He inquired next as he did have a few mushroom's can could help with the pain.
MoogerMint
Enitan was glad to note that Takoda seemed to know what he was talking about. While he wasn't in the habit to disbelieve another, he was never quite sure how far to tread the line of trust, either. Seizing his hand again, Enitan studied the cut as well, attempting to see as far into himself and his own skill with but the engraving diameter in his palm, but without so much luck. This type of observation and the actions that proceeded, however, seemed quite familiar to him. With a scrutinizing glance, he hazarded a guess, "Are you studying to be a healer?"
It was almost amusing to hear this other prentice worry about Enitan's trust on the matter. While silly to the boy, it was also a breath of fresh air and a weight off his shoulders. It meant he still had a chance to make a good impression on someone for once, despite the edges of his quirky habits already showing, portending to his normal behavior remaining unchanged to the determination.
In response, he gave a sharp nod, "Not a problem." Was it strange that he didn't fight it, or ask further questions before accepting it? If the question emerged in his mind, it wasn't outwardly showing. There was no reason for Takoda to pull something on Enitan, not that he could see. Flexing his fingers, he mulled over the question, "Well... it's nothing I can't handle. I've had worse, and as you said, it's pretty shallow. Best save that stuff for an emergency."
jayoku
Takoda blinked and paused midchew when the hand was taken away to be inspected with scrunity. Giving a small smile he continued to chew and he had to stop when the question was asked of him. With his mouth full he only nodded in response. Yes he was learning how to be a healer, though he still had to prove himself worth enough to be considered worthy enough to try it out.
The fact Enitan had stated he had experienced worse he wondered if he got picked on. Of course Enitan seemed awkward around others just as much Takoda was, they shared something in common, the misfits of the shifter society.
Removing the wad out of his mouth it had form a weird gooey substance.
"I have to put this on your palm, I have some fabric I can wrap over top of it to hold it in place..but it should disinfect and help the healing process be faster." Takoda explained he would understand though if Enitan thought it was too gross to atempt.
"I went to the elders to request healing training..but they turned me down. I am going to try and ask them again."
MoogerMint
Enitan hesitated momentarily when Takoda had verified his suspicions, but only for the briefest of moments. He hadn't had a good history with healers, but this sentiment was based on but a couple of individuals, and Enitan was all about giving people the benefit of the doubt, especially when they were of his own tribe. He grinned at that, eyes downcasting back to his own injured hand, "Suppose that was a bit of an obvious response, huh?" He wasn't sure that any other aspirations would be so knowledgeable in the department of medical flora. Even Enitan, who had grown in the presence of healers and had been constantly prodded to be more like them hadn't an idea. Such was the problem with being so disinterested in the craft, daydreaming instead of listening. Or reorganizing. Same difference.
Lifting eyes to meet the ball of ground herb in Takoda's grasp, he had to question the logic. "It's certainly clever..." he mused with a grimace, but thought it over. As strange as it was, didn't saliva act as a good disinfectant as well? Sure, it was kind of gross, and more than a bit weird... but that's probably why most healers didn't really tend to use this method of administering. He noticed there wasn't any good reason one could come up with to refuse the treatment, and Enitan DID trust Takoda, even if it was blindly... "Got no qualms," he stated. Eh, there were worse things to deal with.
"Turned you down?" Enitan asked, rather surprised. Takoda already seemed pretty knowledgeable to him, so... "Why?" Sure, the elders acted in strange ways at times, but he was a tad curious to know if the other shifter had a clue to the reason.
jayoku
Takoda was silent as he went to treat Enitan's wound, he smeared the chewed up plant matter onto the wound thickly before he went into his satchel to pull out the small amount of fabric he had on him. Quickly and neatly he wrapped it around the other's hand and by anyone watching you'd never know that the elders had turned down his request. In fact he seemed to know what he was doing so why would they turn him away? Takoda knew why. There were several reason's though the largest one being that ...his mother had been a healer as well.
"They think I am trying...to fulfill an obligation to my parents." Takoda's stated slowly, though he had gotten over his parents death, finally accepting them it still hurt to speak about it. "They thought I wanted to become a healer because my mother was one." He trailed off not wanting to bore the other one about his life. If he had known that Enitan had healers for parents...had tried to force him into a healer's life he would of marveled at how ironic it was. As a child Takoda had wanted to follow in his father's foot steps...become a warrior but these days it was the healers life that most suited him
MoogerMint
Enitan tried to fight off a flinch that emerged as the herbal solvent was spread over the would, realizing with a start why the other shifter must have offered the anesthetic. Sure, if it had hurt a great deal, that was one thing, but he hadn't exactly had the foresight to think that the medicine application could also hurt a bit. The sharp sensation seemed to dull a bit after some time, especially when Takoda started tying the fabric around his hand. Even though the wound hadn't been bleeding, at least not yet, the pressure placed on it still seemed to help.
His attention was removed from the immediate situation when words began filling the slightly awkward silence, ears tuned to Takoda instead. His expression turned to that of a light scowl at the explanation, though he couldn't help but to find it slightly amusing that the situation was the reverse of what he was used to feeling himself. There was mutual understanding, in that respect. However, it seemed he missed the mark at first, his comment coming by as a bit inconsiderate among the assumptions he made, "They should know better than that. For one, I don't think you'd be quite this good at it if you were merely playing follow the leader; if I didn't know any better, I would have thought you a healer already. You're not just letting your parents push you into something like that, are yo--"
His defensive barriers fell all at once, his temperamental nature cooling off at an incredible speed. It made way for concern, and he sighed as though deflated at the sudden lack of anger, "That's... not what it was about, was it?"
jayoku
A faint blush was on his face, mostly due to the compliment about him already being a healer, though he knew he would have a lot of work ahead of him is such a thing was to come true. "N..no..I am not one yet...but I hope to speak with the elder again and make him see that I am being serious about it." He explained before he finished wrapping the hand and held it lightly as if afriad to let go of him right now. THere was a moment of awkwardness that came from Enitan's last question.
"Ah...no...they think I feel obligated because my mother was one...she past away though.." Takoda explained slowly, his voice quiet. He was never one to really go into details about his parents or his past life, after all it was in the past was there any sense dredging up the painful memories? Even if he had accepted their deaths.
MoogerMint
Enitan almost frowned at the explanation given, but instead offered a more mildly disbelieving look. Okay, sure, he was no elder, and he wasn't a healer either, but... that still didn't seem to make sense to him. Glancing down at his now fully-wrapped hand still being gingerly held by the healer apprentice, he wiggled his fingers. Enitan didn't attempt to remove his hand from the other's grasp, but he wanted to make a point, "How is this not being serious about it?" It was meant to be a bit of a serious joke, but his tone of voice made it sound rather blunt, "How long ago did you see them about it?" For all Enitan knew, Takoda had seen the elders last year, and only managed to hone his skills to such a professional level since.
Enitan's expression seemed to twist, a partial grimace against realization. "Yeah, see... that was completely contrary to what I had been thinking," he explained, even though he knew it hadn't been required at that point. Takoda's body language said enough to get the point across that he was uncomfortable talking about it, and Enitan guessed that apologizing for bringing it up would only be met with dismissal, so there was no point. He huffed a bit, "Well, regardless, obligations shouldn't affect it if you seem to have this much natural affinity for it in the first place." Not that he could really speak from experience, but it seemed like the right thing to say at the time.
jayoku
Takoda only chuckeled as if he was shrugging it off, after all it wasn't Enitan's fault for bringing up. No more than it had been that other shifter he had met down at the river.
"I ..loved watching my mother, " He murmured as if willing himself to explain in a bit more detail, perhaps it would help himself too to talk about it with someone. "The way nothing detured her from helping people, no matter how bad they came to her she always made the effort. Even if the person seemed beyond the point of returning to the living she always tried and she was so brave.." It was obvious how much he adored his mother as well admired her. "She would never give up and I want to do the same...I will never give up on a person.."
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Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 11:18 am
☾ ★ ★ RP #1
AIM RP #1, pg.2 MoogerMint
Perhaps he should have apologized about it, for Enitan wasn't sure if his own lack of cutting the conversation off had been what prompted the other prentice to continue or not. It pained him to see Takoda like that, even more so considering he didn't feel like he could adequately understand the situation to its fullest. Truth be told, he was a little jealous that the other shifter was able to feel such a strong attachment to his mother, but it was a fleeting sense at the back of his mind. "Sounds to me morelike you had found a role model early on than any sort of obligation," he stated, "and a good one at that." Hero worship is how many shifters found their calling, wasn't it?
However, Enitan noticed that he was probably being much too factual than what may help, in this matter. He couldn't relate, so he was trying to insert rationalization into the argument. Maybe it helped logically, but it certainly wasn't helping emotionally, Enitan was perceptive enough to see that, and he didn't want to see a friend in distress like this, even if anyone else may consider calling ally so quick to be foolish. He never really thought such things through, and because of that, the sudden, one-armed hug came with next to no warning. With a small smile, he encouraged, "Hey, I'm sure you'll become just as great as her. You've got an advantage in that area: it's in your blood!"
jayoku
Takoda hadn't expected the hug, in fact when Enitan had gathered him up in his arms he felt his body press against the other shifters his face flushed greatly. To be honest he wasn't use to so much touching, at least in this sense. It was strangely nostalgic though, as he remembered hugs he had recieved from his parents long ago. Slowly he recepricated the hug and he felt like this was something he should do more often. Hug people. Okay maybe not randomly but it was very nice to hug someone, it made him feel wanted.
"Thank you." He managed as he released Enitan and gently pulled away from him, "That means a lot to me..." He continued as he looked back to Enitan's hands where the dagger had cut him. "You are pretty skilled with that...are you going to be a hunter?" he inquired politely.
MoogerMint
Enitan wasn't particularly used to others actually refraining from pulling away from a random embrace from him, let alone one that went along with it, but such reactions on his part were also so ingrained in his own behavior that he didn't notice the inconsistency immediately. All that struck him -- although mildly -- was that he was still able to consider Takoda a friend, even as the other shifter pulled away. There was no awkward, hastily-initiated retreat afterward. It kept Enitan more chipper, especially when he observed that there was less of the malaise previously present.
The smile was still there when Takoda spoke once more, glad that he was able to help out, even if he felt he had ignited the depression in the first place. Takoda really was a friendly, if fragile guy, wasn't he? "You just prove your stuff to them, they'll see easy enough," he reassured. He wasn't exactly sure how to take a compliment, though; it was different and foreign land to him. He flipped out the knife again, partly as presentation and partly out of distracting himself. "It started as a hobby. Most people would probably just say my 'skill' came from nervous habits," he snorted a bit, as though trying to turn it into a joke, "As much as I'd like to say I'm good at aiming a throw with one of these, I work better when I can actually hold the thing in my hands. Gives me more control." Frowning, he looked back down at his wrapped up hand, "Well... usually, at least." He was going to have to work on that...
Once the tension had died down, Enitan couldn't help but to snicker. It seemed random, and he almost didn't say anything, but he was known to be a bit fesity at times. He was also known to be quite uneloquent in his handling of situations, half the time, "Heh... were you blushing?" It had been delayed in reaction mostly out of a hesitation in expression.
jayoku
Takoda watched and listened as Enitan explained his use with the knife, after all he had returned to tossing it and he thought it was pretty amazing that he could do it in such a manner that he didn't cut himself more often. About to state how it was a marvel he noticed that Enitan didn't seem quite as proud of it, even going as far to mention that it wasn't useful if and when he needed to hold onto it to throw.
"O..h..well I am sure with practice you could throw it quite easily...have you ever tried aiming for the fruits in the trees?" Came the question that after it left his mouth felt a bit silly, though it didn't help that the last question after leaving Enitan's mouth caused his fading blush to reappear and more distinctly this time. Was he blushing? He pressed his hands to his cheek as if it would hide the blush but it only seemed to make it more evident.
"Ahh...w.aa.was I?" Takoda seemed shocked that he was blushing. WHy was he blushing? Was it because it ahad been awhile since he hadn't had a lot of human contact?
It was true that his life alone had made him somewhat detached from anyone.
MoogerMint
Enitan turned to the fruit in the trees, indicated but not pointed out. He was a visual individual, and although he knew very well what they looked like and where they were, his mind urged him to take a look. Squinting, he thought about his own capabilities of actually hitting one if he were to throw the knife. He was so used to feeling it in the palm of his hand that releasing it at the arc of a swing of his arm just seemed... strange. Slicing into anything like that and not being able to feel it make its mark felt a little more anticlimactic. Running with the idea anyway, he attempted to aim, as though he were actually going to test the idea out. Instead of bringing his arm back, though, he blinked away the idea, almost shrinking back from a thought. Shaking his head, he turned back to Takoda, "It'd probably go straight over the branch. Just thinking about it is making my hand too twitchy!"
He rolled the handle of his blade in his hand again before finding it better he put it away. "I think... I'm better suited for close-range. Heh, though that's also the front line, huh?" he explained, albeit a little nervously.
However, Takoda's social awkwardness was quick to lay off any sort of pressure he felt, and he couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. He hadn't exactly meant for that to happen when he had mentioned the blushing! "Hey now, don't worry about it. I think some people are more prone to it," he tried to elaborate, though found that it was not how he preferred to have done so. Thikning it over, Enitan added, "I don't mean... prone to embarrassment. Um... the, ah... skin composition?" Yes, it was obvious he wasn't the best at anything science-related.
jayoku
Takoda watched as Enitan seemed to be going through the movements of throwing that dagger. He was worried of course since there were people around in the area and he didn't wish to see anyone hurt even those who had teased him in the past and most likely in the future. THe shifter was tense but relaxed when it seemed that Enitan changed his mind about trying to test out the theory.
"Well it could go over the branch...but if you never try you won't know what your capable of, " Takoda unwittingly encouraged before he tried to backpeddle with the idea. "Ah I mean not here...maybe in the forest though? Away from others.." The flush was still on his face and having a hard time going away it seemed. When Enitan laughed at his embaressment he knew it wasn't out of malice, though he was use to people laughing at him.
"I..it's okay I mean...I know...heh.." Takoda continued as he swallowed and tried to shrug off his embaressed blush.
MoogerMint
Enitan almost jumped to objecting the notion, but stopped to think about it. He was comfortable, working with the smaller and more lightweight weaponry like this, sure, but he could also step a LITTLE outside his comfort zone as well. It was... not that bad of an idea, actually. He wasn't sure how well the skill would catch on, but he wasn't above trying it out. People were suppose to stretch the boundaries in order to improve, after all, and sticking with the same old regiment wasn't going to help him pick up anything new. After a pause, he nodded, "Okay... that's not a bad idea. Sure, I'll practice that, see how well I can get at it by the next time I run into you." He sure made it seem like that would be a while yet... perhaps because he lived so far from the heart of the tribe.
He gave a wry grin as Takoda stated that it shouldn't be something to practice now, "Aww, don't want anyone else to see the blade make such a lovely flight over that branch?" He knew what the worry was, but his naivete left him for acting more like they were old friends, as humor to this degree tended to be better saved for. First impressions were never his forte, and this was becoming more obvious. "You sure about that? Nobody you want me to hit?" he asked, peering around until a frown crossed his face, "Eh, wouldn't want to lose the blade anyway." He would never intentionally harm someone in the tribe, but acquaintances might not be apt to know it immediately.
At least it was better at maneuvering the conversation away from Takoda's flushed face, something Enitan realized and deliberately steered his words. He was still concerned, though. Pointing the way Takoda had appeared from, in-town, he asked, "So do they always whisper behind your back like that?"
jayoku
Takoda offered a reassuring smile at his response to the idea of practicing away from town. He knew of a couple of spots he would have basically no one around to worry about..besides himself of course.
"If you wanted I could take you to my home and you can practice around there. I live on the edge of the forest..a bit of a trek from the village but there would be less likely people there." Takoda explained happy to have an excuse to invite the other shifter over. His expression became shocked at the joke and he waved his hands in front of him in a urgent dismissive manner,
"Of...of course not! I ...i want to become a h..ealer but no..not so desperately to..to.have people to pract..tice with." He was trying to joke around as well, but it was hard to tell with his mildly panicked look in his gaze.
When the subject changed to the whispering he looked over his shoulder and then gave a small curt nod, lifitng a hand he placed it on Enitan's arm and ..rather directed him to turn around and follow him in a slow walk. It was best to not talk about those who talked about you in front of them.
"Ah well...yes. I mean...everyone in the village knows of my fear of instects...so words gets around pretty quickly."
MoogerMint
"No kidding, you too?" Enitan blurted out before he thought about it. He immediately expected confusion to ensue, so attempted to rectify the statement before that much became obvious, "Didn't think many others chose to live away from everyone else like that. Safer to stay where everyone else is, and all that. Don't tell me it was out of self-exile, too?" He winced as the last words left his mouth. Ouch, that was WAY too much information; he didn't like to admit that out loud of himself. Quickly recovering, he tried to plaster an answer over the top, as though it could be hidden, "Sure, I don't see why not. Give me an excuse to pester you some more. Not only that, but I won't have to worry if I cut anything else open on accident!" Not that he was expecting to... but it was pretty reassuring. For Enitan.
Enitan blinked in surprise at Takoda's reaction, and it took him a moment to register how funny that sounded. It didn't matter whether that's what the healer apprentice had meant or not, but that was just hilarious. He almost felt bad for laughing, as it sure didn't look like it was meant to be a joke, but the implications were priceless. "But you're sure to be an expert in no time!" he added before he could stop himself. Shaking his head, he thought it best to clarify that he wasn't serious, just in case it didn't seem it, "No, you don't have to worry. I don't usually even have this thing out when I'm this far in."
It was a good thing that ONE of them was more conscious of the conversation -- and who may be listening in. Enitan was a bit confused at first before he put two-and-two together, taking another brief glance back at the offenders as he followed Takoda's lead. He was brought back to facing the conversation as Takoda admitted his fear, and was just a little surprised, "Wha... you're serious? But... but they're everywhere!" Because that was what someone was suppose to say, that a phobia was encompassing the area they resided in. He cringed; best not to say Enitan liked them, then. "Still... that's nothing to gossip about," he hissed.
jayoku
Takoda gave Enitan a look that seemed to be of confusion and then more confusion. Self exile? What...did Enitan dislike people that much? It seemed strange since Takoda rather liked the shifter and didn't mind his strange quirks but...exile? The poor shifter was starting to get a bit lost in the conversation that was going on. So first things first!
"No...not exile..I ..just..there are fewer bugs at the edge of the forest..." He addmitted, "Plus its my family home...I haven't bothered to move from it.." Takoda explained as it didn't seem like there had been reason to move. At the idea of Enitan not cutting himself again and not having to worry about hurting others he gave a lopsided smile.
"I've...always been scared of bugs...I know they are everywhere...there is even a nondwa that follows me around...I use to run away from him...but...I am slowly getting use to his presence. He still scares me though when he appears out of no where sometimes." Takoda explained hoping Enitan wouldn't just leave him now because of his silly fear.
MoogerMint
Well... darn, that didn't seem to work quite so well. Enitan made a mental note to try to think things through before letting words jump out of his mouth, but such overhauling of ingrained patterns tended to be easier said than done. He almost shot a retort to attempt a more forceful change of subject, once the term "self exile" had been brought up again, before he realized... he didn't really mind all that much that Takoda gathered that much information from the other shifter. Perhaps if the apprentice healer had been one Enitan related to less, but he wasn't. After a stiff silence, one no doubtedly made awkward with his stern gaze, the grin from previous was brought out once more. "That makes sense. Heh, hadn't really thought about it, but you're right, there ARE less bugs out that way, aren't there?" he laughed.
He shrugged in reaction to Takoda's explanation, not under the guise of dismissal over the subject but rather as a means of conveying that he didn't truly have any argument to the matter, unlike what may have been apparent moments earlier. "It's not something you can help, I can understand that," he offered -- and boy, could he really understand it. He smirked as the other shifter went on, giving a congratulatiory pat on the arm... which may have felt more like a swat, "Well good for you for working towards getting over it! Maybe that little pest isn't as much of a nuisance as you thought, eh?" In a way, the nondwa seemed to be as much of a teacher as any of the elders in the tribe, and a constant one at that.
Noticing Takoda's uneasiness, Enitan felt compelled to offer something in return for admitting something like that, but felt he hadn't the capabilities of doing so. At least, not at the moment, and he wasn't very eager to make himself feel as uncomfortable, should it lead to an altogether awkward conversation ending. Instead, he went in a more roundabout way, "You know, it's possible that everyone has fears that they find to be rather petty. Yours just seem to be more obvious to others, and when they see it, they feel they must make fun of it as a sort of compensation for their own." He was musing on the subject, picking at a nail with the knife that only perhaps fifteen minutes prior had attacked that same hand. Feeling that that was a little dense of a thing to say, he laughed, "Or maybe I'm just thinking too far into things. Wouldn't it be something, though?"
jayoku
Takoda listened as Enitan went on, saying one thing and then backtracking, though Enitan seemed the type to say before thinking Takoda couldn't help but like him for that blunt and sometimes brutal honesty. The fact Enitan thought that Takoda was learning to over come his fear of bugs seemed to be stretching it though.
"I..don't know about getting over that fear..I've been so scared of them...I think i've just learned to ..accept that particular nondwa isn't going to leave me alone." He replied looking a smidgen embarrassed about being scared of a giant moth.
"One can always hope though, but ..I won't hold my breath." Takoda chuckled at his own expense before giving Enitan a smile. "You know it would be nice to have company once in awhile when I go out to gather for my...healer's training." Though he was pretty sure they weren't going to test his knowledge on plant life...a shame really.
MoogerMint
"Exactly!" Enitan stated matter-of-factly over Takoda's attempt to get the other shifter to understand better. Truth was, it wasn't really sinking in all that well to the more brazen young man, who thought he understood it perfectly well when, truth was, he only had a light grasp on it: he was relating too much. He was pointed with his statement, "You get used to one, it paves the way for the others. Might not seem like it now, but just look back on it in a few years and you might see something." Not terribly optimistic, but at least he was trying. While his words were confident, it was hard to tell if he was being entirely serious.
"Ahh, I see..." he sighed, folding his hands behind his head and wandering a few paces off, "You're a realist! Could have had me fooled." He stuck his tongue out, as if making a jab at the pessimism hanging so condensed in the air. He couldn't help it; social tension made him act more like a child in his inexperience. However, he really was having fun, something he couldn't admit outright about any other recent interaction. Takoda really was something else. He was tolerant, and really quite brave. Who else would outright admit that they were afraid of bugs like that? It was admirable. Enitan gave little hesitation, batting at the air with a wide grin, "Don't worry about it, I'll drop in every once in a while and say 'hi'! Can you fix bruises just as easily?" Again with the jokes; at least it meant he had warmed up to the guy. It wasn't every day he found a friend, after all.
jayoku
Takoda thought on what was being asked of him, bruises....like a book being flipped open in his head he drew from various sources and put them to the for front. "Yes...there is a salve you can make from various plants to speed the healing process better...and mushrooms you can take for pain...but unless its a really deep bruise I wouldn't suggest using the mushrooms all that much." Takoda stated with a grin, knowing how addictive the pain killing mushrooms could become he wasn't sure just how well Enitan would deal with it.
"But hopefully you'll come visit unhurt as well. I can't just be your personal healer you know." He gave a small grin before laughing softly.
"I should get going though...I hope to see you soon! I will let you know if I manage to become a real healer if it happens." Takoda continued as he seemed to be preparing to leave.
MoogerMint
Enitan's wry grin deepened in intensity as Takoda began listing treatments with little effort, as though he had had plenty of practice in the field. The other shifter couldn't help but feel a wash of amusement over it; Takoda was nervous about another visit to the elders? REALLY? He was a regular DOCTOR, as far as Enitan was concerned. Would anybody but a healer be able to rattle all that off?
He sighed again, feigning emotional injury with an obviously fake flinch. Turning around, back to his nonchalant air in a borderline bipolar manner, he literally waved it off. "I know, I know. I'll try, but I make no promises," he chaffed. At least he truly wasn't as much of a klutz as today's goings-on may have led one to believe. Turning around at Takoda's promise, he was quick to inform, "Takoda, you're already a healer, as much as anyone I've seen. But yes, be sure to let me know when the geezers acknowledge this fact, too." His smile offered his sincerity in that statement, even if it may have come across as arrogant. "I'll see you soon!"[[ Post Count: 30 ]]
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 4:38 pm
☾ ★ ★ Flipside
To build skill into habit, and habit into skill There was a sprinkling of sweetness on the air currents this midday, a welcome change from the sweltering heat that had enveloped the land throughout the past couple of days. With such a tinge of flavor, it promised rain before the rise of the new day -- perhaps even by nightfall, should luck be on the tribe's side. While there was plenty of need for the shift in weather, it offered Enitan a very limited amount of time to accomplish what he had wanted to set out to do. Truth be told, the daytime was not what the young shifter would consider to be the prime part of a cycle of the sun to be all that active. The canopy shrouded enough of the area in a thick cloak of shade to shield those living beneath the weave of branches above, but the protection also proved to hold in much of the heat that burrowed past, hesitant to let go. When the moon was high in the sky, this reaction was less evident. Enitan attributed his affinity for the darker half of the day to the fact that he felt it easier to move around when one was not bogged down with so much sweat, but it was more likely that there were many more varied facets to the preference. One couldn't really say that it was altogether darker once the sun fled beyond the horizon, at least on the underside of Jauhar's landscape. There were numerous light sources, after all, many of which seemed to shine that much brighter once the blanket of darkness fell. For one that was so reluctant to be in the line of sight of those he prized among all else in this harsh world, it seemed counterintuitive. However, the shifter knew from an early age how nocturnal tendencies always seemed to crop up in his cognitive senses, even when he tried to become accustomed to the morning hours. He always found himself more alert at night, grasping at a surge in creativity and vigilance as opposed to stumbling through the day in a haze. He even managed to make a game out of keeping his body from the lights of the various fungi, as well as the crystals that made a habit of catching and scattering the soft glow that managed to touch their near-prismatic surfaces. It originally wasn't even meant as a path to bettering stealth skills, just a means of passing the time on an otherwise uneventful day. And... maybe a means of scouting the area under hidden pretenses, too. Some had the potential to find that a bit distressing should he admit to it, though, considering his fellow tribesmembers seemed oblivious to his observational presence when unwilling to join in. If anyone had the feeling they were being watched, a rare few ever gave hints to it, and it colored the boy impressed with their alert survival instincts. Despite preferences, with the oncoming threat of rain, Enitan knew that he was going to have to start earlier in the day than he initially intended if he was going to make any progress by the time surrounding surfaces became hazardous. He spun his haggard knife around in his hand, regaining the feel of the tool as he pulled himself outside. His eyes glanced to it more often than normal as he moved, still feeling a tad betrayed at the blade's previous act last he was out in the heart of town: a warning flick of the eyes to not push its luck with another defection. The young shifter stuck to the outskirts of the tribe's settlement, as per usual. While he thought about having another set of eyes to help him out on his self-appointed endeavor, perhaps catching anything he may have missed under the weight of the irritation he was sure to experience, he couldn't really find the heart to request it. Who would he even ask, anyway? The only one that may have been willing was Takoda, but he didn't want to have to ask something of the guy so soon. It may have been Takoda's idea for Enitan to try his hand at actually learning to use his knife in a longer-distance manner for versatility, but they had only just met, and Enitan was fairly certain the guy was probably busy trying to convince the elders of his obvious healer's expertise. Enitan had no such obligations that he was currently aiming for, considering he was almost positive the elders weren't even keeping tabs on the weird hermit on the borders of the encampment. Everyone stayed far enough away as it was, though that was probably a side-effect of Enitan keeping his own distance from them... considering that was the plan... Push and pull, it was possible the boy was never going to be completely happy with any living arrangement at this rate. He toyed with the notion that such encouragement may have merely been a counter to the amount of praise Enitan himself had chalked up to Takoda's blatant skill. After all, Enitan met the other shifter under the pretense that he needed the prentice's healing knowledge because he had been foolish and clumsy enough to have cut his hand with his own blade, so how could that have been attributed to skill? It was irritating, considering Enitan knew he was better than that, with so many years of practice with the knife already under his belt. Maybe Takoda really could see the potential in the end result of his flawed performance, as he seemed to be able to pick out some more professional signs from the botched handiwork, but it just didn't seem like it was enough. Regardless of whether or not his recent friend could truly see any potential from the graze across his palm, Enitan was determined to prove that it wasn't just a fluke. Takoda didn't seem to be badgering him, after all... but maybe Enitan just needed the push? The bare soles of his feet grabbed onto the dry bark of the branch beneath him, catching a foothold that was sure not to slip -- something that was to be less assured should the rain begin to fall and coat the limbs. While he was not expecting to take an unplanned dive, he didn't want to chance a second run-in with clumsiness amidst more foul weather conditions. He wanted to get this right. Mentally he did, at least, something that seemed a bit less apparent physically. Pausing in his preparations, the hand that gripped the hilt of the blade soon found itself wrapped by its partner. Just like before, his nerves were getting twitchy with the amount of calculation that was required to fling a decent shot at such a distance, strained with nervous energy. Enitan glared at the targeted branch ahead of him for a moment before he determined a simple enough solution, "Perhaps it would be better to start closer before moving this far out." He sighed; he had a ration of pride in him yet, but such feelings seemed to be reserved solely for his skill at what he deemed as his current craft. It was almost embarrassing to take such small baby steps in order to gather the necessary practice with a tool that had been so long in his possession, let alone one that had seen so much use in days past. However, it was also better that he learn the array of skills before anyone really called him on his capabilities, which was sure to be more of an irritant than this; he could deal with that reasoning. Once his footsteps reached the thick spire of a branch that he was to be aiming for, he took note of all the notches and gashes that already graced the bark, all previous attempts at other skillsets. "Seen better days..." he concluded mildly, almost wincing. Pulling his hand off of the scarred surface, Enitan took a handful of steps backward, reevaluating what he was to do to get this to work. Now that he was close enough to be within another arm span's reach of the target, he found his muscles were considerably less fidgety. There was less pressure to land a perfect strike this way, the focus altered to lay on getting the swing correct instead. Less variables, less strategic cluttering, which meant more room to focus on each individual aspect as he worked further and further back. While he himself couldn't reach out to touch the tree from where he stood at the moment, the close proximity left little room to miss. He was not that horrendous a shot, he knew that before he even got started, but even a clumsy throw would not cause more damage than a clean one. In fact, he started off with but a graze, taking mental note to how the knife seemed to glide through the air after it was thrown. Without the perfect symmetry all around, the blade had a tendency to spin, or at least crook itself to tilt in a lopsided direction. He had to attempt the throw a number of times before he could gather that much, and each time, there was not a mark added to the tree's collection. Adjusting to the information, Enitan toyed with a variety of angles, holds, and swings. At first, he was able to get the blunted point to jab at the tree trunk, but never enough to stick. As he continued to try alternates, his success rate dropped, and the shifter found himself growing in aggravation over failure after failure. Huffing, he decided to take a short break and deliberate over further options before actually attempting them. Glowering at the blade, he examined it as it lie unmoving in his hand. His expression softened, fingers releasing their pinning grip on the hilt, allowing it to roll across his hand while the sharpened end kept distance by hovering harmlessly over his outstretched fingers. He smirked, " There's your center of balance." Such a simple tactic, and yet it worked to help recaliber how he went about getting the swing to a comfortable point. He was quick to reclaim his determination, managing to successfully lodge the blade into the target three times before opting to declare that his throw, while not perfected, was decent enough to continue. Taking a few further steps back, Enitan calculated if he had put enough extra distance between himself and the goal to be able to further skill past mere practice. It was still a fairly easy target, so practice over aiming was going to need more space to be effective. He tossed the knife upwards and caught it again, noting that the smell in the air was still not strong enough to indicate rainfall within the next hour. Spinning the knife around, Enitan figured he may as well give it a shot and decide from the outcome. Using the same mechanics, the shifter flung the knife in the exact same manner he had been only moments prior, only to have the blade stick into the trunk momentarily before clattering to the floor. It only took a second to register what went on, and Enitan made quick work of retrieving the knife and taking back up his stead. "So, distance really does matter..." he mused, though the familiar nervousness was already beginning to take shape once more. While it was not as difficult to learn that the further the distance one was from their target, the more the force behind the projectile needed to increase, it was even further from being perfected. Enitan knew upon discovering this that there was no way he was going to be able to extend his range of capability beyond a fraction of the scope he was hoping for, at least not in a single day. Getting the power behind a throw over the span of a range of distances was just not a realistic feat to expect to accomplish in such a short time frame. Sure, he managed to get it correct after a few trial-and-error attempts, and he had already done it at point-blank range, but if he were to become any sort of amateur at this, he was going to need to figure out how to determine how much force to put into the throw whether he'd thrown at that distance before or not. Enitan shrugged and sighed, defeated in that respect, "First things first." He could always practice more another day, and he would be sure to expect nothing less. The important part was that he knew what needed refinement before he set out to try another practice session, and could plan accordingly while the weather turned sour. However, he had yet to touch on the aiming aspect, and the humidity was already rising amidst the atmosphere under the canopy. He hadn't even realized he had been focused on the current step for so long! "Hold off a bit longer," he urged the weather, increasing the span of distance once more. The shifter was not nearly as bad with his aim as he made himself out to be. While not anywhere near the best, the boy had enough prowess not to miss the thick trunk of the branch any more than a few inches. He wasn't having any such difficulty seeing his target, taking aim by using his other arm to guide both his throw and his eyes. He tried aiming first with both eyes open, immediately seeing the futility in the attempt before opting to stick solely with the more dominant of the two. The distance he had given himself to test his capabilities in was approximately twice the distance from his previous position from the target, a larger jump in readjustment to his senses than previous. Again he had to tweak how much force he used on the knife to drive it into the thick bark, realizing that he never put too much power behind the throws -- he always had to adjust it for the hesitation instead. However, being a perfectionist worked in Enitan's favor when it came to taking aim. He was slow on the uptake, though. This tactic would certainly not be the best amidst a more crisis-filled situation, at least at this early point in the game. Studying the knife, lodged a little too high in the target than what Enitan had been hoping for, he nonetheless thought positively on the prospect, "I think... I think I could probably get this to work." Funny, considering he was so adamant in not learning the ability until Takoda urged him to try and expand these horizons. Sure, he still didn't like that he couldn't feel as the knife actually hit the target and be able to assess what occurred underneath the sharpened metal, but it was definitely an adequate alternative choice. Having more ability at one's disposal was never a bad thing, after all, and was more prone to being helpful under a wider spectrum of threats. Maybe he could actually be helpful to the tribe for once... It wasn't until the rain started seeping in through the canopy cover did Enitan realize the weather hadn't waited for the shifter's straying thoughts to come back around to the present. He flinched as he felt the moisture tap his head, glancing skyward as it registered what brought his attention back. "Punctual as always, I see," he scoffed lightly, "But I suppose you're right. That's enough for today." [[ Word Count: 2,578 ]]
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 4:46 pm
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 4:47 pm
☾ ★ ★ RP #2 Link: Moonlit AntagonismParticipants: Jerarda & Enitan Stage: Prentice ( both) Status: Complete!Premise: Detours made out into unknown territory, under the influence of insomnia, can apparently have some rather lethal effects. [[ Post Count: 30 ]]
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 4:48 pm
☾ ★ ★ RP #3 Link: I was walking in my sleep...Participants: Keilana & Enitan Stage: Prentice ( both) Status: OngoingPremise: If this game of cat-and-mouse hadn't been rolling under advisable safety regulations before, they are most assuredly violated now. [[ Post Count: ??? ]]
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 4:49 pm
☾ ★ ★ Meta #2 Link: Chapter 2: SautiStage: Prentice Status: Complete![[ Post Count: 1 ]]
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Posted: Sat May 04, 2013 10:43 pm
☾ ★ ★ Syphon Shuffle
Domino effects are all in the interpretation ( Note: Solo takes place the night of the Chapter 2 meta above. )He just couldn't do it. As thickly stubborn as the shifter had a tendency of being, there was just much too much at stake for him to fall for such a hazardous, personal ploy. Being there for the tribe was one thing, but being there when Enitan knew that it would only slow others down, or cause a multitude of various other problems in its wake? He was better than that, even if either alternative seemed to hurt the prentice as much as any knife to the chest. The shifter had been bent on aiding the expedition team into unknown territories. While main priorities would always be focused on those within his native tribe, to keep safe what little he held sentimental attachment to in the world, the boy also realized that the purpose of the journey had initially been an attempt at peaceful negotiations with tribes outside their own boundaries. He tried to count how many ways he had royally screwed that one up. It seemed like a simple enough plan, and one that the young and brash shifter was not incredibly invested in from an outside perspective. Barely anyone knew him, knew of him, or heck, even acknowledged he existed. It was fool-proof! So why did he really think that they'd care..? Sighing, the release of air caused him to wince, clutching his arms around his ribs and curling his legs up closer to his chest in reaction. Perhaps most of the others wouldn't have noticed his condition, but he knew that, with how perceptive Takoda was trying to be, he would have caught on sooner or later. Even if the healer hadn't caught on, would he really want to put that sort of stress on him after the fact, if it ever came up? Not to mention the fact that they had been headed straight for alkidike territory; if nobody else had realized how messed up Enitan had been that day, the one who had inflicted the damage in the first place would have, and he couldn't risk being the weak link of the group against a potential enemy so powerful. Although his hands were shaking from all the excessive anxiety, from all the physical pain he had been ignoring over the course of another setting sun, he still managed to be bull-headed enough to refrain from informing anyone about it. Living on the outskirts of the encampment had its perks, but was this one of them when one looked to the end result? Nobody knew he was back early from the campaign across the lands, so there was nobody there to be more stubborn than he was about getting treated, or to berate him for acting like such a fool, both now and when considering what led to the injuries in the first place. He could already formulate the irate queries in his head... What possessed you to go traipsing alone through alien woods at night? Did you really think it was intelligent to try to stand up to a seasoned alkidike warrior without any aid? You could have destroyed any peaceable relations with not only the alkidikes, but the leaf tribe as well! He even had the time to start stringing together countered responses to the anticipated interrogation between the waves of muscle spasms, despite knowing full well that these conversations were much more convoluted and difficult to predict. Even when he had been shown, through the clash with Jerarda, that his strategist skills were sub-par at best, the irritating perfectionist within couldn't help but dabble in the art. At the very least, it helped pass the time... Good grief, this has got to be the most pathetic situation you've found yourself in yet, he reproached himself, trying to relax. As depressed as everything made him feel at the moment, he knew that it didn't do him any good to dwell on what was ultimately beyond his control. He couldn't very well change the past, and the actions that led to the current moment were not going to erase themselves. If people looked at him in a certain way, there wasn't anything the shifter could really do to change that, at least as it was now. The past was past, and he was living in the present; if he was going to change anything, it would have to be the future. Slowly easing himself to sit upright, he flexed the hand that he had slit the palm of a couple of weeks prior. The appendage was already fully healed, not a trace of the clumsy mistake he had made across its calloused features. The past hadn't been erased, but the damage wasn't permanent; he had made sure to keep it from scarring. Sure, he had the touch of an apprentice healer help him on the road to that end, but how often was it that anybody could change themselves all on their own? Everybody had a guiding hand, even if they didn't realize it. After all, how else would they know what they wanted to become, if not from how they wanted to look to their peers? Enitan, of course, was no different. He wanted to be seen as something worthwhile to his tribe. He didn't want to just be some outcast on the fringes of society, one who didn't benefit the tribe as a whole. He wanted to be someone in the eyes of his kin, preferably something positive. Sure, he was making an awful lot of assumptions when considering the others only looked at him with disdain, or just ignored his existence completely, but there was so little offered in the way of anything that could contradict it that his own self-confidence tended to spin against him. He was rather introverted for the most part, and dare anyone say shy. He was vehement about stating that he would protect the tribe with his life, without question, but couldn't seem to face anyone directly. Even Enitan could see how much peer pressure, or the imagined presence of such a thing, directed his thought processes so fully. He wanted to be accepted, but pushed it away once he got within reach. He wanted to be seen differently in the eyes of society, where he perceived he belonged, but he seemed to forget his sense of self unless under pressure. Perhaps he had gotten too tangled up in the prospect of being seen as part of the tribe when he had offered to tag along on the expedition. He had been anxious enough to prove something – anything – to show that he wasn't as expendable as he felt, but now that the shifter had the time to think about it... who had he been trying to convince? If any good came out of his encounter with the battle-crazed alkidike Jerarda, it proved to Enitan that, at the very least, his heart was in the right place. Maybe he hadn't the best control over his tongue, but he was relieved enough to take note that the first worry that cropped up in his mind had not been for his own safety, but rather the safety of his fellow tribe members. In fact, he couldn't have cared less what happened to his own person as long as it turned attention away from picking out another target. But... why hadn't it been in the forefront of his mind to pick out any other target? At first, it had been: he was more than willing to be the malicious intent's main focus instead of those of his own tribe. In tough situations, it seemed he really didn't care about his own safety, and even he could see that, now that he had the time to reflect, such lack of mindset to oneself could be one of the most dangerous. How was one to protect that which he held precious when he was no longer in the world of the living? His mind would just blank on the matter under duress. However, what did it mean when he was capable of doing the same for strangers, whose allegiance wasn't even established? The leaf tribe, he didn't know if they were friend or foe... and yet, he wasted no time in jumping to the aid of that woman he had run across in the forest upon giving Jerarda the slip. As much as he was apt to believe it, he was fairly certain it wasn't out of guilt for being half the cause of her twisted ankle... was it merely because they were different offshoots of the same ancestor? Enitan doubted that one as well... The shifters face contorted, a wry grin splitting across the surface, "You can't protect everyone, you're just going to get yourself killed that way." Taking a deep breath to ease pain into subsidence, he doubted he could do the same with instinct in the face of an enemy. If he could just forget about everyone else, make sure he's the one that survives... but then, that would be shirking away from who he was, on the inside. What would do greater damage? In his current condition, his current default mindset, his potential harm came twofold. It was obvious by now, even to someone cognitively-impaired, that he was a hazard to himself; however, due to it being paired with such a marginal temper, he was also a hazard to the entire tribe. It hurt to admit that, but he knew it to be true. He wasn't a benefit to the tribe, as his personality quirks were steadfast to interject. However, it was not a lost cause, either. Obviously it would take time, but nothing worth gaining was completely earned overnight. There was only one logical conclusion he could come to in order to counter such grim assessment: he just had to get better at what he could do to help. "Just take it one step at a time, Enitan," he assured himself; it was all he could do, "Just one step at a time..." [[ Word Count: 1,665 ]]
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