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Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 5:32 pm
Sasha paused, and in a very serious voice said, "I'm not cute." It was very important to Sasha. She didn't.. want to be cute. She wanted to be capable. She was capable.
Sasha was just... having a difficult time making her friends understand it.
Her lips parted in a grin after delivering that very important bit of knowledge. "Yes, I did run, though. I was thinking about um. Finding a coffee maker to put in the doctor's office so I don't have to like. Run as much." She chuckled; the doctor had seemed amused by her exertions, too.
Sasha's entire face brightened when Candace spoke of promotions.
"I'm ready too! I mean. It's time for me to um. Figure out what I want to do in the labs." She presented the properly prepared coffee to Candace before turning her back to the other woman. Sasha scrounged in her pockets for a hair tie, holding it over her shoulder so that Candace could braid her hair. These actions were all very distracted, almost as if Sasha was doing them without being completely aware of it.
"I still don't know what I want to do, but I feel like picking up Clarice's minor chores while she's um. While she's gone? It's a step in the right direction."
She adroitly skipped over the whole topic of Jerry - for now. Courage would need to be bolstered before she could even touch it. Besides...
"The shadow man gave Harrison those scars?" That thought had her paling. Why had she gotten away so easily? He'd only taken her to a room, played the piano. Pretty dresses, perfume. Knick-knacks. It was something to think about. What had been the point of taking her to the room? "He didn't ah.. he didn't do anything like that to me. I mean. I don't know. It's.. I don't know."
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 7:56 pm
Candace was a bit taken aback by Sasha's declaration of not being cute. "There's nothing wrong with being cute.." Candace blinked, tilting her head to one side.
Wait...a coffee maker..in the doctor's office? The coffee was for the doctor? Huh..weird. Couldn't he get his own coffee? Lazy. "Ohhh okay, that explains why you were acting that way." Coffee makers never seemed to last around here. Or maybe just Cass' coffee makers..
Poor coffee makers.
Candace took the hair tie that was offered to her and hopped up on the counter again, guiding Sasha to stand in front of her and gathering her hair together with a cheerful hum. Ohhhh! It was so soft! She was so excited! Candace combed her fingers through it to check for tangles, pleased to find none as she separated the hair into three sections. Two braids would be adorable but she only had one hair tie. Oh well. The fact that she had this chance at all was enough. "That shouldn't be too difficult. At least you only have one division's duties to worry about." Candace chuckled, though she didn't sound like she was complaining. On the contrary! Candace loved doing All The Things! "Her minor chores? Like what?" Ohh that reminded her that she needed to find out who was finishing her gloves. If not Clarice then who..? H? He had called himself the master after all. Maybe Dwight? Hm. Yes, that would be something to do when she had a chance. The braiding had begun, a french braid that she could tuck all of Sasha's hair into if she did it right. Get it completely off her neck.
"Mm, yeah. On a mission with Jerry in the school last year. I think it was umm..November?" Candace remembered that day very well for quite a few reasons. One of them made her heart hurt, the other made it flutter excitedly. It was a very awkward conflict of feelings. Suddenly something seemed to occur to her. "..Weird. Twice Jerry's been in that school and both times the shadow man has come after his group." She mused quietly, her lips pouted. Was it after Jerry? Or was it just coincidence? Maybe a group sans Jerry needed to pay the school a visit. "But you're okay. Not a scar I can see." Candace smiled again, tickling hair against Sasha's neck before she resumed the braiding process. "I'm glad you're safe, rose bud."
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 9:37 pm
"There's nothing wrong with being cute, but I don't.. want to be cute. I'm.. I'm twenty-one years old. I'm not twelve. You know?" Sasha's voice was gentle; she doubted that Candace ever had to deal with the whole 'cute' stigma. Baby chicks were cute. Kittens were cute. Puppies were cute. Sasha... if she had to be anything, she wanted to be strong. Adept. Determined, even. Capable. Driven.
Not cute.
"Anyway. Ah, yeah. Coffee in the morning, tea in the afternoon. Meals on request. Any other assorted chores, and one shave a week."
She sounded almost creepily giddy when she spoke the last few words.
"Just while Clarice is gone - and really, it's to make it up to the doctor for um." Her cheeks turned pink. "Disrespecting him, for one. And just. Kind of to thank him. For everything he's done for me. Did you know he's the one who ah. Got my flute? For me?" Sasha shook her head, careful not to dislodge any hair that Candace had braided.
"And um. No, no scars. I... I'm not sure what it was all about, the shadow man and the secret room. It was.. really strange. I don't know if Jerry had anything to do with it, honestly." She fell silent. Pressed her lips together.
"Anyway." Sasha cleared her throat. "I also wanted to um. Apologize."
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 10:16 pm
"Mmm...will you let me rephrase, then?" Candace asked with a smile. "You are a lovely young woman with a warm heart and the right amount of spunk. Someone probably anyone could trust to get something done, even make the perfect cup of coffee," She paused to drink said coffee before she resumed her praises. "You've handled more than one could expect from you at first glance, going above and beyond just being a pretty face~." Finally she leaned down, giving her a kiss to her temple. "You just have a habit of doing adorable things like running so as not to keep people waiting. And picking questionable coffee beans out, and washing things until they sparkle so brightly you need sunglasses just to see them in your peripheral." Another kiss and then Candace sat up again, the french braid being her focus even as Sasha spoke. Ah, so that was it.
Wait.
A shave?
Candace actually whined. "But I like his facial hair! When his face is all stubbly especially it's..it's really...nice when he...but..aw, Sasha. Can't you give it like..more time?" She was actually serious. She liked his beard at any point in its growth, damnit!
Not faaaaaair!
She was still pouting even as Sasha explained the doctor retrieved her flute for her, though her despair was short lived. Candace finally smiled. "He's a very generous man, isn't he?" Her voice was gentle, holding all of her admiration for the doctor. Candace actually kind of wished she'd taken him up on that offer to touch anything of his she wanted...maybe next time. She had no reason to snoop as Sasha had, but seeing those things on his desk had gotten her fairly curious.
Mostly she just wanted to get a better look at all of those beautiful trinkets and artifacts he had collected in his suite. That was where her curiosity lied, but the problem was his room was too difficult to get to with all of those fog creatures still inhabiting their dorms. Sigh.
"That's twice you've mentioned a secret room." Candace observed aloud, her eyes on Sasha's hair. "You tease me, little songbird~."
The mention of an apology surprised her. "Apologize for what, my dear?" Wait. My dear? Hmm, that wasn't something she normally said, 'my dear'. Odd. "Do you mean for earlier? Don't worry about it, I'm not upset or anything. It was just a bit unnerving how short you were being." A shrug.
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 11:46 pm
Sasha's cheeks puffed out with each kiss until little sputtering sounds rat-a-tatted from her lips. When Candace went back to her hair, Sasha finally exhaled. Good gosh, she was sure affectionate. She crossed her arms over her chest and patiently waited for Candace to finish.
All this hair was becoming kind of a bother, what with everyone wanting to touch it all the time. Sasha's brows furrowed.
And furrowed more when Candace whined about the shave. An incredulous expression had her brows lifting.
"I mean.. it's.. it's not like I said to him, 'Listen, doctor, okay. You're.. you're going to sit here and.. and I'm. I'm going to shave your frickin' face and you're going to like it.' - When he wants a shave, he gets a shave. Maybe you should just like. I don't know. Ask him to grow a big puffy beard. I mean, on the day of the meeting, he shaved himself, so. I haven't even done it yet -- and anyway, okay, I was apologizing."
Sasha sounded a little disgruntled.
"Well kind of for earlier and like." She set her jaw and determinedly continued. "I remember I told you like. I would try and um. Help you. With Jerry." Sasha cleared her throat. "But. I um. Well, Jerry and I.. okay, and uh." Sasha cleared her throat again. "Well."
That about summed it up.
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 12:12 am
Candace actually tried to imagine Sasha saying that to anyone, much less H. She wanted to say it was adorable. Damnit. "Fine~." She replied with a playfully haughty tone, grinning as she said it anyway. Ah, so he already shaved? Damnit. That meant it was already gone. Goddamnit H.
She was just about done with the braid when Sasha continued on to explain why she was apologizing. Or rather, she went on to..not...explain a ******** thing. All she knew was it involved her and Jerry. Candace tied off the end of the braid, letting go of her hair. "Sasha, sweetheart.." She began with a little sigh. "Words. They're a very helpful thing. Anyway, what's this about you and Jerry?" Candace gave Sasha's shoulder a little tug, enough to coax her to turn and face her. "You don't need to worry about helping me with Jerry, by the way. It's a lost cause~. We both...have different..desires. We're going to just try and be friends." Candace's smile wasn't even a little bit sad as she spoke.
"I have someone I love dearly just as he does now. I mean, I still love Jerry but...not..the way I used to." She tilted her head to one side like a curious cat. "So don't worry, okay?" You're a better match for him anyway, Sasha...
"Now, let's try this again. What are you trying to apologize for?"
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 4:01 am
Sasha was certain that Candace wasn't trying to be condescending, but there was just something about the way she spoke to her, like Sasha was nine, that irritated the frickin' frick out of Sasha. Sasha knew words were good, she knew how to speak words, it was just that this conversation was very difficult and also very important.
"Not really helping with Jerry. And you. That's what I wanted to apologize for. I mean. I tried to. At first. I did, okay, but then, like. Jerry is really sweet. To me. And he does like.. nice things. For me. And. Uh."
Sasha turned to face Candace, her cheeks red but her jaw set in determined way that was slowly becoming familiar.
She also looked a little annoyed.
"So. We kissed. Okay? And I just like. It was a good kiss. And. Well. I wanted to let you know. Because. The last I knew you were like. Still uh. You know."
Sasha cleared her throat.
"Well. Still interested." She sniffled and turned to clean up the small mess she'd made, slamming cupboard doors with unnecessary force. "I'm also sorry for like. Being mean. In the bunkers. But. Sometimes it's .. you just. I don't know. It's."
Slam. Coffee put away in the cabinet.
"Just. Jerry's worried."
Slam. Filters put away in the drawer.
"About silly things."
Slam. Just because it felt good.
"Because of what happened with you."
Slam. Cream tucked back in the fridge.
"And like. Jerry told me what happened. I mean. With you and the doctor."
Snap-slam. The spoon was wiped down, placed back in the drawer.
"I'm really happy for you and everything, okay. So. There's... there's that. I'm just saying that.. well. Jerry is. Important to me - and I know he's important to you or whatever, but he's important-important to me."
Sasha narrowed her eyes.
"So I'm just saying. You know."
She narrowed her eyes further.
"I don't know what you're.. what you mean when you say he has someone that uh." Her cheeks were a brilliant red. "That he uh. Loves. Or. Whatever. We haven't even like. I don't know. Really talked about anything. So."
She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against the counter.
"Like I uh. Like I said. I'm just.. saying."
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 10:49 am
The look of annoyance on Sasha's face was enough to quiet Candace, her amusement gone. She didn't want to annoy her, she didn't want that little brat from the bunker to come back. Stay happy, Sasha. You're best when you're happy. She watched her, her hands gripping the counter instead of Sasha's shoulder when she admitted to kissing Jerry. Candace didn't want her hands to betray just how okay she was with Jerry moving on. She didn't want the way her fists tightened to betray that she was just ******** fine with it. She just wanted him to be happy. She was fine. She had Gale, she had Molly, Cass, Harrison, H--wait...no..she didn't have H. He had her, but she would never have him. Remember that, Candace. Remember that. So..she had all these people! She didn't...need..
She'd..she'd give them her blessing. Jerry was happy.
Slam. Candace looked up, startled.
Another slam...and another..
"Because of what happened with you."
Candace visibly flinched, frowning now. Oh...so Sasha knew. Candace looked up in time to watch Sasha's eyes narrow at her, a brow raising.
"..You don't...know?" It made sense. Sasha had never seen the way Jerry had looked at her before and when they were together. She wouldn't..realize.. "I don't know about love but...I'm surprised you never noticed. The way he looks at you? Like you're the most incredible thing in his world? Like some young, lovestruck boy who's just found his soulmate or something?" Candace sighed, ruffling her hair and hopping off the counter. She began to pace around the kitchen, not far but she just couldn't sit or stand still right now. She needed to move around, to distract herself.
Sasha was going to want some kind of response. She was going to want Candace...to say something.
"..I'm happy for you." She said softly, looking up with a smile. "I'm glad to see he's moving on, or at least trying to. I was never right for him. I never deserved him. I knew it, but I didn't want to give him up. He made me happy.." Her smile fell. He had made her happy to a point, apparently. She shook her head. "Jerry is important to me. Very important. And don't worry about your behavior in the bunkers...tensions were high, everyone was stressed out. Things have gotten better since clearing out the labs and the main building, though." Her hand was still in her hair as she stopped, facing Sasha but unable to look at her. "You're...you're better suited for him than I'll ever be. I knew that the moment I started talking to you. Even when you offered to help me I knew i wouldn't matter, I knew he'd eventually make it clear how much he wants you over me. It drove me crazy at first but..I'm okay now." She was okay. She was fine. Whatever makes him happy, right?
"You're what he needs..." Her chest tightened as she said this. Candace brought him more pain than she'd eve brought him happiness. She was sure of it. "Just..be patient, about the trust issue. It's...it was Valentine's day." She visibly flinched again, shaking her head and ruffling her hair again with both hands now. "So it's only been like..three months. He's only..just starting to actually heal and move on from the looks of it." You stupid b***h. "If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know, okay?"
She was happy for them.
Really.
..She...she was happy for Sasha...and Jerry..
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 1:19 pm
Sasha was silent for a long time. Of course she hadn't known. She hadn't even started looking at Jerry as anything other than her best friend until her conversation with Rin. Looking back, Sasha could kind of see the awkwardness. Kind of. Up until the point where Sasha had taken the initiative and sloppily kissed Jerry's face - even up until the point where Jerry really kissed her - things had still been awkward.
And then after the meeting with the doctor. She'd gotten a hug. Not a kiss, but a hug. And they hadn't really talked since then. So. Things were still pretty awkward, as far as Sasha was concerned - and it wasn't a very good feeling.
Despite everything that Candace was saying… Sasha was still feeling bristly. She hated it. She liked Candace. She really did. Candace had been an idol in Sasha's eyes when she'd first arrived on the island. Something to aspire to. Focused, determined. Capable. And then… after everything, and seeing how Jerry had taken it, how he was still trying to deal with the emotional scars left behind...
"It's.. not that Jerry doesn't trust me. It's. The doctor. I mean, now that I'm spending a lot of time like, you know. Helping the doctor out. And I told Jerry that like, um. Well. I didn't think that the doctor would ever do … well, nevermind. I'm just. I wanted to make sure you knew. About my.. about Jerry and me. So that you uh. I mean. If you were um."
She lifted her chin. Valentine's Day. Poor Jerry. He had his issues, but then.. they all did. Every single one of them on the island had issues, as far as Sasha could tell. Herself included. It didn't mean that they deserved to be treated as subhuman.
"Just so like. There, ah. Wasn't any confusion. Because. I mean."
Sasha cleared her throat.
"I don't.. I don't want to sound like. Well. Mean. I'm not a mean person, okay? But… I don't know how all this works. I didn't want to have to like."
She cleared her throat again.
"Fight with you. Over it. Not like. Okay, not a physical fight, Candace, I'm just saying that I just.. I'm glad you're supportive. It's.. I mean. Well."
Sasha pursed her lips. She wasn't even really sure what she was trying to say.
"So, there's that."
If Candace laughed - or called her cute - Sasha would have to seriously ponder stomping on the woman's foot.
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 2:04 pm
Candace was somewhat thankful to Sasha's silence, it gave her time to calm down. She was doing a good job to hide it..right? Everything was internal. She'd keep it that way. She didn't want to upset Sasha...she just..wanted Jerry to be happy. He deserved it, he deserved happiness. Especially right now. He needed all the happiness he could get and Candace, despite the very strong desire to do so, never seemed able to make him smile a genuine smile. They were all forced, strained, painful. She'd really ******** up.
Sasha's words got her a soft noise of understanding from Candace, finally letting go of her own hair to instead drink the coffee Sasha had made for her before it got cold. "..The doctor had been hitting on me since I'd woken up." Candace said quietly, frowning. "Before I even knew Jerry." But she'd hated it at the time. She was creeped out by it, disturbed, annoyed. It made her want to throw him off the highest cliff into shark-infested waters.
Then again thinking on that now that probably wouldn't kill him as she would have hoped a year ago after what he'd survived on that mission. That a*****e.
"I wasn't right for Jerry. So it's better you're with him than I am, in the end." Her smile didn't reach her eyes. Candace was doing her best but it was still hard. She was moving on...she was healing. It was still hard to see someone not her making Jerry happy the way she used to. She cleared her throat, to get rid of the stupid lump that was forming in it, and rubbed at her neck through her scarf. "I know, Sasha. You're not a mean person. You're a good girl."
Candace chuckled at her worries of fighting her. Harrison would be telling her to fight. He'd told Candace she should hate Sasha, that it was okay to...but she couldn't. Not sweet Sasha. "Mm." Yes. There's that.
She cleared her throat again, rubbing her lips together and turning her eyes up to the ceiling. She was quiet for a long time. An ugly, jealous voice was rearing up in her head. Months ago Candace would have fought tooth and nail, possibly literally, for Jerry...for anyone she had claimed as hers. Maybe if it wasn't Sasha she would get aggressive. She had been hoping to win Jerry back for so long...when did she stop trying? Why did she stop trying?
He just kept looking at her with..that face. That face he used to look at her with. That face he had had when he had been pining for her affections, when he had tailed after her like an excited puppy who just wanted some petting and hugs. Candace pursed her lips, eyes burning as they watered. ********. No. Not in front of Sasha. It'd been three months, it was time to let go.
It was hard to let go. It was hard to accept that she couldn't be this...Little Miss Perfect standing beside her. Her eyes darted Sasha's way a moment, looking her up and down. What the ******** did Sasha have that she didn't? She frowned and looked away again, looking down at the coffee. She finished it and set the mug down, rubbing at her eyes and trying to just make it look as if she was simply tired.
Finally she turned to Sasha and pulled her into a hug, nuzzling her cheek against the top of the girl's head. "I wish you all the best." She said honestly, hugging her tightly. "Treat him right." Not that she doubted she would. "He deserves a girl like you. You can make him happier than I ever did." Candace released her after a few more long moments, sniffing quietly and giving Sasha another grin.
"Thank you for telling me~." She cupped Sasha's cheek, pouting her lips a little. "If you need my help with anything just let me know, okay?"
"I just want you to be happy, Jerry. Do...do I make you happy?"
"Huh? Oh! Of course you do! Just seeing your face brightens any foggy day."
"Really? You do the same for me, Jerrbear."
Candace rubbed at the corner of her eye and cleared her throat one more time. "Sasha." Her voice was sharper than she intended, but she continued on. "After I get my wolf girl, you and I should take a trip. Use one of our weekend leaves. Anywhere you want. Just the two of us." She smiled. "We'll go shopping or something. Girl time." A stress relief. A bonding experience. Something...something that didn't involve Jerry. Something to make that ugly voice in her head stop telling her to hate Sasha. She didn't want to hate Sasha...
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 4:31 pm
H had been keeping Sasha busy lately. It had only been a couple days since she had become his new assistant, but he had barely been able to see her, save when they both were exhausted at the end of the day and collapsed into a bunk either together or apart, depending on the mood.
He was being a coward, and Jerry knew it. Just... find her. And talk to her about it all. He glanced at the time. She should be bringing the Life lead his coffee now, wouldn't she? He might have just missed her... even so, he mad ehis way towards the kitchen, hopes high that he would snag her.
"Ah, hello? Sasha, you there?" He poked his head in through the doorway, meekly glancing around for the Huntress in question-
but spotted Candace first, his face going red.
Sasha was there, too, the two.... oh dear lord, they were talking.
His face went redder. "I'm uh... n-not interrupting, am I?"
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 4:48 pm
Sasha's cheeks immediately pinked, and anything she'd been about to say was immediately forgotten as she caught sight of Jerry.
"No. I um." She cleared her throat loudly but kept her chin high. "Candace and I were just talking. You know. Girl.. girl stuff."
It wasn't a lie.
"Candace was here when um. When I was making the doctor his coffee, and we got to talking after I delivered it."
She toed the floor. This was. Well, it was pretty incredible. And pretty awkward.
Awkwardly incredible. Sasha slid her gaze from Candace to Jerry and back again.
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 5:03 pm
Jerry's voice made Candace tense up, eyes widening for a moment before she tugged on her scarf again, pulling it tighter around her neck and tugging it up so it covered her better. She covered the act by making it look like an itch, looking to Jerry with as nonchalant of an expression as she could manage. She did surprisingly well considering the confusing emotions welling up in her chest. He was the last person she wanted to see right now. Candace wanted out of here. Now. You'll never get better if you keep running away from him. You're stronger than that. Atropos was right..
Clearing her throat, Candace stepped back away from Sasha to give Jerry her attention. "Hey, Jerry." She greeted him with a charming grin. See? She wasn't hurting right now. "Interrupting? Nah~." looking Sasha's way as she explained what the two of them were doing.
Good girl.
"Yeah, it's so great to have real food again. And real coffee. Sasha makes it well." She watched the younger woman, the way she shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. Candace frowned a moment. Sasha was uncomfortable. How could she fix it without upsetting her?
"Mm! Girl stuff. You know, hair," She gestured to the french braid she had arranged Sasha's hair into. "Shopping. Normal stuff for once. Did you come in for a breakfast that isn't a ten minute meal from an air-tight packet of dust?" That's a girl, Candace. Shove those discomforts aside and just be that cocky, overconfident, comfortable woman everyone says you are.
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 5:18 pm
"I ah..." His jaw clenched as he tried to straighten up, concentrating on not limping as he crossed the distance towards the girls, his hands thrust into his jumpsuit pockets. "I was... looking for Sasha, actually."
Good boy. Alpha wolf. Show your dominance.
It had been months. They both should be over it. He had only given his all to the woman only to be abandoned for someone bigger and better.
Stepping stones in life.
There had been that moment of weakness a week or so ago...
You hadn't been in your right mind. I'm just glad you chickened the ******** out.
Did he still love her?
Yes.
They could still be friends. Maybe. But trust had been breached and ultimately, she had made her choice. One day H would tire of her for something newer and more exciting. Would he be there for her when that day came?
Did he want H's sloppy seconds?
The man had already shown unnerving interest in Sasha.
Alpha wolf.
Show your dominance.
Stiffly he scooted closer to Sasha, keeping a soft, friendly, almost playful smile on his face. "What constitutes "Girl stuff," exactly?"
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 5:34 pm
Sasha relaxed when Jerry moved closer. Okay, that was a good sign. She'd been kind of worried. Actually, she'd been really worried that Jerry wouldn't want to show her any sort of affection when in the presence of Candace. It made her feel... really good.
Bold, empowered. It was a unique, refreshing way to feel.
"Uh, well, Candace was just saying that we should um. She and I should. Take a trip sometime." Sasha smiled softly up at Jerry.
"And I was just about to agree. With her. But uh," she glanced at Candace, that smile broadening, "that it might have to wait until um. After our trip."
Okay. This wasn't so bad. Sasha felt terrible for seeming so uppity earlier.
"Do you want some coffee, Jerry? Or um. What did you need?"
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