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 Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 4:58 pm
-Spin a barricade? How hard could that be?
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 6:56 pm
"Let's use cable ties to keep the child ensemble sorted!"
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 2:27 pm
-I didnt pop a single stitch on my rented costume.
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 5:25 pm
- It's in the director's office
- I was in my car! (this is for enyone who has ever been there but late)
- Sure, I'm in costume, but I'm just going to take this one bite of sandwich. No mess!
- (backstage) Is my headset on?
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 5:47 pm
-Oh! you busted your mike? Dont worry we got more.
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 5:47 pm
The Phantom item 666 "Of course we'll be using real sardines!"-for anyone who's worked on Noises Off Ugh, I hate that. I've got one that's the best. "Hey, break a leg out there, you're one hell of a M******" "Good Luck" Or my personal favorite, "You don't need to keep those flowers..." *That goes to the superstition that an actress should never get rid of her boquets until they've died to ensure good luck..
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Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 1:44 pm
God do I have some!
-We're going to open exactly at 8 tonight!
-We're going to stick to the rehearsal schedule EXACTLY this entire production (Ha, as if)
-Don't worry. We're only eating on stage.
-And so I said "I love that Macbeth place! Or was that MacDonalds? Oh well, no difference!"
-I'm not going to copy this from a movie/production. (Okay, that's sort of a joke in my theater. We have a director who doesn't have an original bone in his body!)
-Who cares if she broke her mic? We have PLEANTY!
-What? No one charged the walkie-talkies? That's okay, we'll just yell across to each other. No one will notice.
-Did I just sleep through my solo? Really? Eh, that's okay. I'll do it at the end of the show.
-Is that really a wig?
-Can I write in pen in my script?
-Don't worry, they can stall a bit on stage. Her boyfriend just called. She'll be off in a minute. Our actors can improv...right?
-Wow is my dressing room roomy!!
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Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 4:42 pm
- hey, can I see that prop for a second? I'll put it right back.
- Hey, where did my mic go?
- Do I have to wear makeup?
- Yeah, you can use my eyeliner, just put it back.
- Tag, you're it!
- Oh, we have a performance today? (that one's a joke at my school)
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Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 5:09 pm
-You wanna play with the swords? Fine by me...
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Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 6:34 pm
"No one has really ever heard of your musical anyway...mind if we cut your song?" -musical review director
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Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 9:17 pm
Heh... here's a couple for highschool/college theatre "We can use the air conditioned room for rehearsal! The school is always willing to give to the theatre program!"
"Look at all the teenagers in the audience!" (matinee)
"Careful! Those props are expensive!"
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 6:07 pm
-"Swedish fish!"
Ok, that's kind of one for my theater, because everyone LOVES swedish fish, and whenever anyone says that everyone comes running. People get trampled, literally.
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:15 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 3:21 pm
"Sure, there's enough room for the Surrey to get through that door!"
If you were in Oklahoma! with me, you'll know how horribly I smashed up the stage because the door was too small...
"Macbeth"
Some superstition against it.
"Alright, girls, you'll be the Amazons. You should be able to carry TupTim"
I got dropped off the stage by the girl amazons. I landed on my head.
"Why do I hear the snapping of rope?"
We had the witch flying at one point in Wizard of Oz and our rope snapped while I was on it. This tubby girl was pulling it and I fell to the ground.
"Nobody will notice the rip, just keep dancing."
Anna's skirt ripped open during Shall We Dance. It was off by the end of the dance.
"Yeah, the costume fits. I'm wearing it now. Hold on, I'm hungry. I packed my own lunch, sloppy joes and chocolate milk."
Self explanitory.
"Lun Tha's in the house!"
Joke for the King and I cast last year. We used to sing Who Let The Dogs Out? whenever our Lun Tha was in the theatre because he was a dog for Halloween that year and sung it everywhere.
"Swing your partner 'round and 'round."
Joke with Oklahoma! cast during the squaredancing scene. One cowboy threw a girl off the stage while swinging her.
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Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 3:57 pm
MACBETH
Duh.
And anything to the effect of "That worked perfectly" or "Nothing when wrong!" Because once you say that you're screwed.
Insulting the theatre ghost is usually a bad idea too.
Or, if you're a techie, "Actors, don't touch the props" because, to many actors, that means "Touch and break all these really expensive props that took hours to make!"
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