Welcome to Gaia! ::

Chris immediately stopped when Paris expressed his surprise, his face quickly turning red as he realized that he'd said a little more than he'd intended. He didn't usually get the opportunity to offer a vacation to the beach, so of course he'd be excited and want the others to know their options. Clearly that was a mistake.

"I... well, I mean," he stuttered, glancing from Paris to the two across the table. "It's not like they're mine..." he mumbled embarrassedly, shifting uncomfortably in the booth. How was he supposed to know they would be surprised? Oh right... because people didn't usually have a bunch of boats at their disposal... It could have been anything, though! Cars, planes, small islands... his family just happened to like boats.

He was a little surprised at Ladon's shock since the young man had seen his apartment and he'd told him his father was an Admiral... He could have said they had a whole fleet at their disposal! But that was untrue and completely different than owning some vacation boats.

"You haven't been boring me," he mumbled to Paris, the red reaching his ears at Billy's comment. If there was a way to just... disappear at that moment, he would have much preferred it. Where the hell was their waitress?? That would have been a perfect distraction. But right now he felt as though all the wrong conclusions about him were being drawn. It was usually something he was very careful about, especially after going to Azure and hanging out with the girls from Crystal.

Through his embarrassment, Chris looked up at Billy as levelly as he could. He'd heard things like that before, and he hated it. It wasn't because it was Billy — it was because he knew he'd already been imagined as a certain kind of person, when he didn't think he was like that at all. "'Privileged' is such a limiting word," he offered his opinion, although he wondered if he should just excuse himself to the bathroom. "It's only what you make of it. Someone can be privileged and waste their life away on pointless things... what good is that? But if I've offended you, I'd like to apologize... That... wasn't my intention," he said, finally lowering his eyes back to the table.

Well, this sucked... Now they were going to be hanging out with 'poor little rich boy' and his many boats and good fortune... And that was why he'd never told Paris about things pertaining to money.

After his initial surprise, Paris tried to act as if none of this were news to him—even though it very clearly was. He had always suspected Chris was a bit better off than he’d assumed upon first meeting him. Or, rather, his suspicions grew gradually with each new bit of information. First it was the fancy dates, then the boat, then Chris’s apartment, then his parent’s house, then the new car on Chris’s birthday, then an expensive necklace on his birthday, then the actual circumstances of the apartment, and now even more boats and a beach house.

When Paris ignored all that, it was easier to cast Chris in a different light and think of him as someone more in his league. Chris was kind and generous and not at all the sort of pompous a*****e he would expect someone so fortunate to be. He was hard-working and got by on his own talents, not just his money, and he was so brave and caring and supportive. If Paris had to choose between the two, the money or all the other things that made Chris Chris, he’d pick the latter in a heartbeat.

He smiled gently and turned to his boyfriend, taking one of his hands to clasp it. The embarrassment and the discomfort he’d known would come were definitely there, but he was happy Chris was at least defending himself instead of letting Billy walk all over him with his snide remarks.

“Love isn’t going to save you,” Paris replied automatically, squeezing Chris’s hand and glancing down at the table. His smile faded somewhat as his thoughts turned to things that had nothing to do with the other three sitting around him, his voice growing a little quiet and sad. “It’s not going to keep you alive, or keep you happy, or solve all your problems. It’s not going to stop you from hurting or keep you from feeling alone. Love isn’t happiness any more than money is. Maybe some people can get by on it, but you’d be better off being more realistic than relying on something that might not always be there. If you’re not satisfied with something in your life, it’s up to you to fix it. Money or love isn’t going to do that.”

He had too many memories of his parents to believe that love was always the answer.

And maybe there was some jealousy there, too, because as much as he loved Chris, he was unsure how deeply those feelings were returned. He told himself it was okay if Chris didn’t share them. He couldn’t force him to. He wouldn’t want to. But sometimes, especially recently, he wished this one thing would go right, because he needed it more than anything.

“This isn’t a competition,” he concluded. “Chris wasn’t trying to show off or act superior. If you don’t want to accept the offer, then don’t. No one’s going to make you. I would like it if you came, though, Ladon,” Paris added, turning another small smile onto his friend. “I only went sailing once last summer, but I liked it a lot. Getting out of the city for a while, spending some time out in the open, out in the sun. It was peaceful. Everything else felt really distant. I think you’d enjoy it. If not for the sun, then at least for the open spaces and the fresh air. We can drive down for a day, or make a weekend out of it, or even longer if you want, if we go when school’s out.”

"Well, I guess I'm completely screwed then," Billy replied to Paris with a bit of a laugh in his voice as he watched Ladon's embarrassment. Billy had no problems with PDA, obviously. He followed up his temporary amusement with a smile that was just purely to make things feel...lighter. "After all, that's pretty much all I've got to my name. But I guess I should also apologize. It wasn't my intention to bring anyone down, really." If he had meant to he'd have made sure to have done better.

At last, the conversation was turned to food.

"I don't particularly mind what kind of pizza," although he wasn't fond of 'everything' or 'pineapple and ham.' He wasn't the one paying though, so he wasn't going to make things difficult...food-wise. He wouldn't mind some cheesy breadsticks though...

Billy took notable interest when Ladon mentioned his father. Ladon had never told him anything about his family or past home life. Granted, Billy hadn't told any of his either. Not that there was much to tell. He was always interested in learning new things about Ladon though. He was just too careful with the boy to ask.

Paris did his best not to sneer at Billy and actually managed to keep himself from shooting a dirty glare over at him. His expression was as civil as he could possibly make it at the moment, when he really just wanted to roll his eyes and snark back at the b*****d just for being there. Unfortunately—or fortunately?—he was trying to keep things light and welcoming. Even though he’d warned Chris ahead of time that he and Billy didn’t exactly get along even at the best of times, Paris still wanted things to go smoothly for his boyfriend and his best friend.

“I usually only eat cheese,” he replied when talk turned to food. He had to force himself to look back down at the table to keep from continuing on the previous line of thought. “But if you guys want to get something else, I can tolerate a little meat. If I don’t like something, I’ll just pick it off, so long as it’s not, like, anchovies or whatever. I’m probably gonna get a salad, too, anyway.”

Pizza was far from his first choice of a meal. He would have suggested someplace else for this encounter, maybe a little café with outdoor seating, but Chris liked pizza and the other two didn’t seem to mind it, so Paris kept his complaints to himself and did what he had to in order to make the arrangement work.

The minute conversation lapsed to family, Paris turned to glance out the window again. He didn’t have very many memories to add. Before, he would have delighted in hearing more about Ladon’s parents or Chris’s childhood, but now it just depressed him. He tried to hide it. Rather than zoning out or staring off into space, he pretended to inspect some of the scenery outside, and when he noticed the sugar packets on the table, he dragged them closer to reorganize them in their little container.

“I’ve never really been camping,” he said, sparing a quick look around the table. “Except when Chris and I went and volunteered at camp last summer, but we stayed in cabins. I’ve never had to sleep in a tent. My parents liked the city more, especially my mom. If we went anywhere, it was only to the beach, and that was only ever when I was really little.”

His thoughts were already beginning to spiral down. He struggled to control them, and was pleased for the temporary distraction when their waitress finally came over to take their drink orders. “A Shirley Temple, please. Thanks.”

This endeavor had already taken so many wrong turns. Stubbornly, Paris returned to the conversation, looking back up with another forced smile. “But I’ll do anything you guys want. Just figure out when it’s convenient for you, and I’ll take some time off. I won’t be working for much longer anyway if I get into DCU like I want, or at least I might not be doing as much of what I’m doing now come fall. I’ve got a little more free time these days anyway, now that… um… now that I’m only dancing…”

Billy had given his 'apology,' now whether though bought it was another matter all together, and he wasn't worried about that. No one could say he didn't try, even though he didn't think he'd particularly said anything all that bad. Well, maybe just the wrong buttons had been half-pressed all around, but if Billy had been trying to be offensive there would have been no doubt, and things would have been way worse. He has went in to this expecting some degree of tension and bitterness anyway. Not that he was faultless. He'd have to put more thought behind his words from here on.

Thankfully the matter of food was settled, drink orders taken, etc...

He sat quietly and listened to Ladon, but was glad to have his drink arrive when the conversation turned to Paris. It gave him something to do - playing quietly with the straw and the ice while pretending to listen.

The more it was describe to him, the more Paris had to wonder if he’d really like real camping. Summer camp had been fine because there’d been kids to watch after and activities to do, and even though the cabin hadn’t been in the best of shape and he’d seen some pretty gross bugs, it still seemed like a better circumstance than sleeping on the ground in a flimsy tent. Maybe he could tolerate that if he had to. He didn’t even doubt that he could manage to cook something over a fire, but if there was no bathroom he thought there might end up being some problems.

Nature was nice. It was beautiful and calming and he loved it when the weather was warm and the flowers were blooming and the sun was shining so bright, but it was also really, really disgusting in certain situations. Not having a bathroom on site—and a clean one—would pretty much ruin it for him.

Luckily, the conversation turned again, and Paris looked up to smile and enthusiastically answer Ladon’s question. “Oh, dancing’s great! I mean, it’s a lot of hard work, but it’s totally worth it.”

He grabbed Chris’s hand again, squeezing it to show his appreciation. Knowing that he made Chris proud, even if his boyfriend didn’t really understand much of what he did, made Paris feel as if he were accomplishing something. He could forget everything else for a while and just focus on the things that made him happy.

“We’re working on Giselle now. Um… it’s about a girl who dies when she finds out her lover’s a duke, and she rises as a ghost to protect him from the Wilis, who are female spirits that died either before their wedding or from unrequited love and take revenge on men by making them dance to death,” he explained. “I get to be one of the Wilis.”

Absently Paris stirred his straw through his drink, mixing the grenadine into the soda a bit better. “I guess the most frustrating part is that I know I’ll never get a lead. I can dance either male or female parts if I have to, but I’m kind of short, so… depending on the size of the ballerina… they can get sort of picky about size, you know. But I’ve gotten some pretty good parts so far. I always wanted to do the Sugar Plum Fairy, and the Lilac Fairy in Sleeping Beauty’s not bad either. Some people look at it and think it’s sort of subliminal, like, ‘Oh, look at the little pretty boy playing a fairy,’ but I think that’s a load of crap. It’s what I want. It’s what I like. I happen to be good at it.”

He paused to take a sip of his drink, and then propped the side of his face on his palm, elbow back on the table. “Sometimes I wish I could be Aurora, though. Or Odette. I’d really like the female lead in Sleeping Beauty or Swan Lake, but I don’t know if anyone’s willing to take that sort of a chance on me. I figure I’ve gotten a pretty good chance to show what I can do already.”

Paris stopped again and laughed a little bit when he realized he was rambling. He suspected half of what he was saying didn’t make much sense to the other three at the table. “Sorry. Chris is right, though… if you ever wanted to watch… it might make for a romantic date for you,” he teased, “and I can get you tickets no problem.”

Ladon could only smile and listen as Paris went on about his dancing, explaining in detail the stories in an effort to help his friend have a better understanding of the ballets he would be involved in and in turn pass on his excitement for him. It was lost on him, as he never grew up hearing these stories, did not see them, dream of being in them, and spend countless hours practicing and striving to get a chance to grace the stage during one of their performances. The important thing was that Paris was excited and was sharing his love, his passion for dance with him, and was eager to show his love. Ladon only felt bad that he couldn't become as excited for him and continue this line of talk as his understanding was about as large as most boys his age - meaning he barely knew anything aside from what he learned from a friend he had in highschool and what he further learned from Paris.

As it was, there was one role a true friend could feel, and that was being supportive and encouraging. "No. It's okay. I think I understand the roles. I hope you get them soon and that someone gives you a chance." Not that he was entirely sure about how lucky Paris would be as he had no idea how open ballet directors were to the idea of boys playing female parts. Considering these were men in tights doing ballet, he would have thought they would be more accepting to the idea, but apparently there were lines even male ballet dancers couldn't cross. "I'd love to go to one of your performances. It sounds fun." He wrapped an arm around Billy's arm. "We'd love to go." He corrected, informing Billy in this one statement that there was no wiggling his way out of it. It was a good way for Billy to show he was being nice, and if he was a good boy, Ladon would be sure to give him a big kiss later - behind locked doors of course. Arm holding was about as PDA as he was getting.

It waitress returned and, on a moment of 'letting loose', gave Ladon his Dr. Pepper. It seemed appropriate with pizza, and he felt he needed a bit of sugar here and there as a nice reward. Hearing Billy with college and Paris with his excitement over dancing, he only wished he had something to gush over and share. Sadly, his life was with his duty to a certain secret organization, and he doubted anyone would he happy to hear him beating up senshi to death and ripping out starseeds to feed to past Earth soldiers now youma. Not only would he be admitted, he doubted that after much explaining that anyone would understand.

Ladon needed a hobby. A normal one. He missed sewing and running track. He had only just started looking online and had been staring at pages to enrolled online for GED courses for the past week without committing to submit his form just yet. He had built his life to not have any ties in order to live his more secretive life that returning to normal seemed like a bad decision and yet one he felt was needed. He wasn't even able to hang out with friends without finding he had nothing to talk about. This was serious!

He felt bad that Billy was putting his school on hold. "But he'll be going back to school." Ladon looked at him softly. He didn't want him to drift away like Ladon had. Seeing Billy become successful, become a student, even a psychologist if he so wanted, was what he wanted for Billy. He wanted him happy. They didn't both need to change their lives completely, right?

"I'll be looking for a job anyways." He mentioned to help with the 'roughness' of their lives together.

Once he’d finished gushing, Paris listened to the others comment on schooling and work, figuring it was only polite to pay attention and return the favor. He had to clamp his mouth shut around a snide remark in response to Billy’s apparent interest in psychology. The temptation to ask him if he could now identify what it was that made him such a douchebag was terribly strong, but he resisted. Paris had to lower his head to hide an amused smile, and covered a quiet round of laughter by blowing through his straw and causing his drink to bubble.

But his amusement and his antagonistic attitude toward Billy did nothing to diminish his concern for Ladon. As soon as Paris had himself back under control, he straightened in his seat to stare across at him.

“I can try to help if you ever need it,” he said. “I mean, with finding a job or… I don’t know, if you ever wanted to try school again. I just took the exam to get my GED about a month or so ago, so I’m still waiting on my test scores, but… I’ve got all my study materials. Some of it you can do online, too, so as long as you’ve got access to a computer and a decent internet connection… And once that’s done there’s online courses and certificate programs with a lot of colleges, too, if either of you ever wanted to think of something like that. It might be easier to balance work and school that way.”

He probably was not the best person to be giving this sort of advice, and after a few moments he began to wonder what he even thought he was doing, but he wanted to help. After he’d dropped out of school, he hadn’t thought going back was ever going to be a possibility, but now that he was actively trying… it felt good to have some sort of direction, even if school had never really been his thing.

“And there’s work-study programs, aren’t there? I know I still want to have a job whenever I get to go back to school, even if it’s not full time. I just wouldn’t feel right not having something else to do, and I’d want to pay my own way, plus still pay the bills somehow…”

And here he shot a look at Chris, warning him that the debate they’d had about living expenses upon moving in together was no longer up for discussion.

“What kind of job are you looking for anyway?” he asked as he turned back to look across the table at the other two. Most of the question was meant for Ladon, who Paris obviously took more of an interest in, but he left it open for Billy to answer, too. “Just anything? Or do you have something specific in mind? If the store wasn’t being sold off…”

The last bit Paris muttered to himself, lowering his voice and letting it trail off as he went back to stirring his straw through his drink. The arm behind him was really very inviting right then, and he shifted a little closer to Chris to sit against his side.