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 Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 8:45 am
Kalends, used to violence, was mostly unphased by Claudia's vitriol against non-believers. In fact, that she had been so upfront with it made him feel a little more at ease. Kalends dealt with people whose capacity to make good on their threats was as easy as their ability to make them; his time away from Edgecrest had reminded him how ill at ease he felt in "polite" society. He disliked the falseness, how they all pretended not to want to hurt each other when they schemed to do exactly that. There was a certain honesty in being a thief.
What interested him most, though, was the immunity. He knew that he should let the barb about his lack of knowledge slide like a good little recruit, but Kalends couldn't lay down his pride forever. "I had heard rumors of the sort, but they seemed too much like idle wives' tales to be believed. I hadn't wanted to waste your time by bringing them up." Though, he had to admit now that he considered it, if there could be creatures such as Plagues and magic in the world, then it hardly precluded immunity, but... Kalends had never imagined something like that being true. It didn't mean immortality, but still. "Many people here would pay handsomely for that. There's nothing quite as convincing a product as safety from one variety of death, after all, and the most desperate will be happy to mistake immunity for immortality."
He turned his head slightly, noting that Claudia was seated, and then gently rose to stand again, still holding the first bag. "If my man in the marketplace was correct, then we should expect several very desperate buyers very soon." He didn't particularly care for eternal punishment or incurring divine favor, but he felt that it was people's own faults if they let themselves get tricked. Remnant or Turth, they should know better than to believe in fortune so easily offered. You learned very fast on the street not to believe anything that told you happiness was easy to come by. "Of course, their own carelessness will be their downfall. Those who don't take precautions deserve everything they get."
He was saved from having to respond in kind to her remark about Obscuvos when a figure flicked into the alleyway in the distance and began to walk their way. "And I believe that is customer number one." Kalends whispered. "Are you ready?"
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Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 3:47 pm
The time seemed to slip away as the flower and the thief sold their false goods. Person after foolish person ate up what they had to say about the items and in what felt like no time at all the contents of the bag were dwindling and Kalends' money pouch was bulging with coins that would go towards funding the church. As a sales couple they worked very well: whereas Kalends had the cool practiced tongue of a criminal, Claudia's sharp sometimes rude or threatening language touched upon raw nerves - building frustrations and niggling worries, pushing any reluctant buyers over the edge and sealing the deal. Claudia quite enjoyed the whole experience. She had always enjoyed manipulating people - tugging at heartstrings and watching the results unravel... So the task was perfect for her. She even began to completely ignore the dire condition of their surroundings and the uncouth nature of the people they were dealing with.
Claudia expected that it would not take long to complete the task now. They had just taken a short break from selling so that Kalends could grab something for lunch they were returning to the market district. Seeming to reflect the good working atmosphere between the Plague and the man the sun had burnt through the overcast clouds and Claudia was able to sun herself quite contently on Kalends' shoulder. However, she was not able to relax in peace as before they made it all the way back to the place that they had been meeting up with their clients a man began calling to them from across the street.
"You there! Oi! You with the Plague!"
Unbothered and with her eyes shut in relaxed contentment Claudia tapped her companion's ear lazily with her fingers. "Kalends, is that man talking to you?" The tone of his voice didn't seem that happy... In fact it seemed quite angry. But over the course of the day the flower caedos had become acclimatised to the rougher way that the peasants in this seedy market district treated each other. Not over an hour a go she had seen a grown man smash a bottle over another's head, a fight ensue, and then the pair of them - with blood trickling down their faces - embrace each other and stumble down the street to the next bar singing in harsh, tone deaf voices. Kalends was part of this world and he knew that if he didn't ensure Claudia was completely safe his own protection would be dropped. Thus being safely sat on Kalends' shoulder meant that a little bit of shouting didn't worry Claudia in the slightest.
"You tricked me you little s**t! That slipper you sold me is no bloody Plague!" Claudia's eyes flicked open. That was definitely worth worrying about.
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Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 4:48 pm
Cocky, perhaps, or just confident, Kalends was feeling good. It seemed like the arrangements with Claudia were going well-- the fools that came by to buy their items were take in hook, line, and sinker. He was even starting to feel that he and Claudia made a good team, both of them getting their customers to pay exorbitant prices for the fakes. It had seemed like such a good day: Kalends was finishing up his lunch and a conversation with Claudia about the House, and protection seemed within sight. But then, when the excito tugged on his ear, the thief realized that his good fortune had just about run out.
Someone just had to wise up. And, from the sound of things, the man wasn't going to let the matter drop easily. Kalends felt his teeth clench. Damn it, this could ruin everything. All his hard work, that brief fleeting feeling of security-- it would all be gone unless he acted fast. First, he'd need to silence this man.
Kalends walked over to him and arched a brow, a hooded smile playing across his features. Superficially, one could read good-humor from it, but all anyone had to do was to look into the thief's eyes to see the calculating, cold glimmer of deceit. "Well, what? Did you expect it to grow into an excito within a matter of hours? These things take time, as we have explained to you. You will have a slipper for some time and then, it will blossom." He shrugged and laughed, though it had a hollow ring to it. "Come now, have patience. Your virtue will pay off and you'll laugh about this later when your Plague is born."
His first goal was not to cause a scene, to play it off as a misunderstanding. If that failed, then Kalends would be close enough to the man that he could attempt other techniques to silence him if necessary.
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 4:30 am
The man was a portly fellow, with a distinctly circular body shape. He was clearly very moneyed with an inflated sense of self importance. It was perhaps due to this obnoxious self confidence that nobody had dared tell him that he was dressing himself in clothes that were considerably too small for him. They bulged at the seams and squeezed his pale flabby body out at every gap. The hair on top of his head was red, thin and wispy, and across his several chins there was a smattering of uneven facial hair. All in all he was hideously unattractive and completely irritating simply to look at because of the frustrating air of obnoxiousness that he had about him. Something about the way he carried himself said "I am better than you" and it was exactly that type of attitude that made Claudia want to hurt him. Obviously that had been impossible, they wanted his money, not his blood... Yet out of all of the people they had scammed he had been the one they had charged the most: The amount he had paid was nearly enough to buy a small farm in Auvinus. It had been proof that those with the most money were sometimes the most gullible.
"Don't you play silly buggers with me!" His jowls quivered with anger as he spoke. He was not buying Kalends' smooth words whatsoever. "I bought this... this FAKE off of you thinking that it would protect me." He was raising his voice now - seemingly trying to attract the attention of people passing by. "I'm not stupid though! I have friends you see! I was lunching with one of them and they have a real plague - told me that this is just a fake. Laughed in my face! I was made to seem the fool and believe me you little rascal I am no fool!" He was turning beetroot red and a thin layer of sweat glistened on his face. Spittle was flying from his angry mouth and Claudia was desperately praying to Obscuvos that he did not spray her. If he did then The Holy Wife herself would have to materialise and stop her from clawing his piggish eyes out.
"Kalends... Deal with him!" Claudia hissed. She didn't care what he did, be it feeding him another story ('perhaps your friend's plague was lying! Plagues can be tricksy beings!') or something more aggressive. As a thief Claudia was sure that Kalends knew how to shut people up.. Maybe even permenantly. Regardless of how they did it they needed to silence him before many other people noticed the commotion. Already they were attractive a fair few stares and Claudia knew that if he was serious the accusatory man would be more than happy to try and get the imperial guard involved and that would spell the end for the both of them.
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 5:32 am
Possibilities flew through Kalends' mind. The man before them was indeed causing a scene-- he seemed to have caught onto their game. If he really had had another Plague examine that slipper, well...the jig was up. Further attempts to get him to be quiet through politeness would be useless; and besides, Kalends was already starting to get fed up with him. Anger was no stranger to the thief, but he believed in a controlled burn, wrath finely moderated by pride, than the spittle-spray blubber this man was pulling off.
Kalends took the flower's advice. Yes, this man must be dealt with and soon.
When he spoke, the friendliness was gone from his voice. No one called Artemis Kalends a "little rascal" without knowing who they were dealing with. "How unfortunate, it seems someone has played a trick on us and mixed a fake in with the real ones. I'd offer to exchange it, but you seemed so intent on that slipper the first time we spoke that I doubt you could be persuaded. After all, it is quite rare for anyone to attach himself to such a token so." He said, voice low and confidential, vaguely mocking. "I supposed we'll have to give you your money's worth back, then, won't we? Very well. But do follow me," Kalends jerked his head at an alleyway, "so we can conduct our business in private, away from pickpockets. I'd hate to cause you more embarrassment in front of this crowd."
A glint in his eye told him that that would be exactly what would happen if the man was unwilling to come to terms.
Even so, Kalends was already aware of the hilt of his dagger easily within reach. He wanted to avoid making a scene in front of the people on the street by going to a less populated area, but if need be, he would hardly be unable to take action where he was now. The guard had a presence, sure, but Kalends was quite confident in his ability to disappear in backalleys.
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 7:30 am
The way that Kalends confidently deflected the accusations levelled against him took all the wind out of the man's sail. He had half expected the con-artist and his plague to flee, or adamantly deny that they had done anything wrong. Wilfully being offered his considerable sum of money back had never even crossed the man's mind. Thus he was rather lost for words - his mouth hung open slack jawed. Claudia smirked at his inability to respond and seeing her seeming to revel in his loss of words sparked up a little of his temper again, letting the words flow again - although with a much less angry tone.
"Well... oh... I don't quite believe that!" He huffed, running his sausage fingers over his belly as though trying to smooth out his clothing - a pointless action considering it was stretched tightly over his portly frame. "Even if you are speaking the truth you should really take more care in where you source your goods. If I were to find out that my stock was faulty I would look like a fool and like I have already said I am no fool. Now if it were me I would -" He continued to lecture on, talking about his extensive knowledge about business and so on. Claudia rolled her eyes. He really was insufferable and she hoped that when he did follow Kalends instructions and went into the alleyway the thief would rough him up regardless. He needed to be given a thick lip at the very least so that the rest of the world would be spared his obnoxious babbling.
Lost in his own seemingly endless stream of words the man waved his chubby hands around extravagantly as he waddled into the alleyway. He was so caught up in his own importance that he didn't show any reluctance what so ever. The flower was almost prepared to applaud him for his shocking level of stupidity. He really was an embodiment of everything she despised about humankind. Even as they closed in behind him and cut off his last chance to worm back into the safety of the street he continued to prattle on - his voice was beginning to make her head throb.
"Please.. just... shut him up..."
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 9:37 am
Kalends didn't need to be asked twice.
Already, the dagger hilt in his palm felt reassuring and though he certainly didn't feel like the situation had wholly turned to his favor, Kalends was conscious of the swell of fortune turning his way. The man could have made it much more difficult for him, but now, now that he was back on his home turf, he wasn't as afraid to let his true colors show.
"My pleasure." Kalends whispered back to the flower. And in a moment, the thief had walked quite close behind the man, and sensing his prey's distraction, placed the blade of his dagger against the unfortunate fool's throat. There wasn't enough pressure to draw blood, but Kalends had calibrated his stance so that any move from the man, or any further closeness on the thief's own part, would.
"Yes, we do intend to pay you back in full. Perhaps even with interest for all the trouble you've gone through." Kalends' smile was genuine this time; his voice no longer hard and cold but gleaming with a fine hint of malice. The man should have known better and if you were careless in the city, then you would die, simple as that. "My lady," he said, using the pet name he had affected for Claudia to make their relationship seem more convincing, "how much of this man's blood would be equivalent to a full refund? I'll leave the numbers to you."
Kalends didn't actually intend to kill the man: in all his years, though he had been in fights, he had never actually snuffed out a life. But he would be wrong to say that people didn't suddenly become more reasonable when their lives were in danger.
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 10:29 am
A rush of excitement rushed through Claudia as Kalends deftly moved close behind the man and pressed the dagger to his fat throat. A glaze of panic came over his eyes and the words that had previously been tumbling freely from his lips stopped dead in his throat, as though literally halted by the blade pressed against his trembling Adam's apple. So as not to inhibit Kalends' arms at all the flower moved herself from her position on his shoulders to cling to his head, taking care not to pull too much on Kalends' hair. Normally she wouldn't assume such an unladylike position, however it was firstly more practical and secondly allowed her to look down upon their victim, seeing his terrified expression, and enjoy the scene unfolding before her.
The rose was all in favour of slicing the man's throat down to the bone. It had been quite some time since she had been privy to gratuitous and excessive violence. It was like a drug that her body hungered for. She revelled in the chaos of death - she had been born into it and had yearned for it ever since. Her gaze was fixated upon the edge of the blade pressing hungrily into his skin in hopes that Kalends would apply slightly too much pressure and the idiot would be killed. However, she also knew that killing the man would be foolish. For a start they were still very close to the main street... Even if someone looked down the alleyway right now they would be damned... If someone discovered a body later on questions would be asked and there had been plenty watching the ruckus who might have been able to identify Kalends. They had nothing to gain from killing the idiot besides the knowledge that they had saved the rest of the world eternally from his voice.
"P-please! I'll do anything," he blubbered, his fat digits wiggling towards the blade at his throat - perhaps hoping to pry it away and speak reasonably with the pair. "I have money. Plenty of money - enough for you to live in comfort for the rest of your life!" Claudia was having none of it though.
"Hands by your side!" She snapped at him. "If you don't shut up we'll take more than just your gold." Lowering herself from her perch and onto the man's shoulder she ran a thin finger along the blade and across his neck - "I would be more than happy to see you killed like the fat pig you resemble... But luckily for you Obscuvos seems to have other plans for you. I can only hope his plans involve a more painful death somewhere down the line..." Carefully she began moving down his body, patting his pockets until she found where his money pouch was kept. It was heavy - full to bursting with coins. "We're going to take this..." She said sweetly, hauling herself and the money upwards. "And if you so much as say a word as we leave this alleyway I'll make sure that Kalends comes back and spills your guts for the rats to feed on. You should forget you ever met us if you value your life. Understand?"
"Y-yes..." He choked, he began to nod but the movement made the dagger nick his throat - a small bead of blood welling up against the cold metal. Claudia ran a finger through it as she passed back onto Kalends, smearing it into her mouth. "Maybe Obscuvos intends for you to get the plague... Now wouldn't that be fun!" She tittered, settling back onto Kalends' shoulder.
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 11:13 am
Holding the man still, Kalends was impressed at how Claudia handled the situation. He had been expecting her to stay with him, watch to see how he handled the man, but the fact that she had gotten involved herself, as well as helped herself to the money that the man was carrying was something else. Kalends couldn't help but smile, his regular manic grin toned down to one slightly in awe of the Plague. If someone had told him that this was what the flower plague was going to act like, he would never have believed them.
"You'd do well to listen to her words, fool." Kalends breathed, right near the man's ear. "If you must remember something, remember my name and know that I will come for you should you speak again of this."
With that, he removed his dagger and gave the man a rude push forward. "Now run as fast as you can. I'll give you a ten second head start, but beyond that..." The thief shrugged. "even my charity will wear thin."
Even if the man knew nothing about the underworld in Edgecrest, if he asked about a man with the name Kalends, the thief's reputation would no doubt inspire him to be silent. And if he didn't, well, Kalends was not one without a few tricks up his sleeve. He carefully wiped the dagger off on the bottom of his cloak distastefully. Though not afraid of injury, he didn't like dirtying his tools if he didn't have to. Killing had been something that his mentor had warned him not to get mixed up in, but Kalends reasoned that should his halcyon days of thievery come to an end, then he might have to up his game in order to stay alive or free or both. The way that the Guild had been after him, he was starting more and more to question what he wouldn't do to escape them. Certainly not much.
He watched the man, thinking. Kalends' quip about chasing him had been nothing but an incentive for the large captive to run faster, and also to provide the pair with a show as he left. Still, the thief's thoughts wandered back to how the day had gone. Kalends knew that their attempts had not gone exactly as planned, but he felt like they were none worse for the wear. "Shall we, then? I hope the interruption wasn't too vexing."
He recalled how the flower had run her hand through the blood drop on the man's throat, how she'd seemed to enjoy herself as she smeared his blood on her lips. If this was what the House's protection was like, then Kalends had a feeling that he could be quite secure if all went well.
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 2:33 pm
The man's knees nearly collapsed from underneath him when Kalends moved the knife away from his throat. Whimpering like a dog that had been scolded he stumbled a few steps away, using the wall to support himself. Claudia snickered as he half turned to take a final look at them. Judging by the dark patch across his groin the piggish man had the same amount of control over his bowels as an animal. He was bright red with water brimming in his sunken tiny eyes. His confidence was in tatters and with any luck it would be a good length of time before he dared to leave his feathered nest and get involved with the rest of the city. Seeing his embarrassment was the closest she could get to seeing him dead. If she could have done she would have spat in his face just to top it off.
"Well, you handled that perfectly... I think The House would be very pleased to hear how you have performed," she cooed into Kalends ear. "Personally I would have loved a touch more blood... But the situation didn't allow for it." There was a wistful tone to her voice. She watched the man's fat buttocks jiggle behind him as he scurried away, nearly slipping on a piece of rubbish as he went. Cruel laughter snapped at his heels. "Run piggy! Run!" As he disappeared out the other end of the alleyway her humour subsided and she scooted closer to Kalends' face. With a sigh she traced the curves of his ear with a single black finger.
"Shall we get back to business? It won't take long now. The sooner we're finished the less likely we are to run into any more unsatisfied customers." She giggled. "And next time I don't know if I could hold back from asking to see a little more blood..."
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 3:23 pm
With that, Kalends walked back to the alleyway they had been conducting their business in previously, Claudia still balanced on his shoulder.
He had gotten more confident with her remark that the House would look favorably on this and as such added a bit of flair into his descriptions of the items as he and the flower saw their last few customers of the day and raked in a substantial amount of money for the fakes. A few customers even seemed to be eyeing the empty bags, as though wondering if some of the plague taint had rubbed off on them as well. In between tricking the unsuspecting out of their money Kalends and Claudia chatted about the occasional idiocy of the human race and, before long, the sun's lowering above the city spires and their empty sacks signaled the end of the endeavor. All in all, they had made quite the tidy sum, with their customers leaving crowing happily about how lucky they had been to acquire real plagues.
Kalends collected their earnings into the sturdiest of the money purses that they had accumulated and nodded appreciatively to Claudia as they walked through the streets of Edgecrest, approaching a House church with an Obscuvian orphanage adjacent to it. As per their agreement, the thief would not be taking a cut, and to show his honesty he made sure to pool the money in front of Claudia's eyes. "With any luck, today's efforts should meet your standards." He weighed the filled purse in his hand thoughtfully, feeling its weight. It was fairly substantial, especially when he added the large amount the Claudia had taken from the man he'd threatened. "I hope that my contributions will be looked upon with favor. Though, I would be wrong not to acknowledge your considerable skill in, ah," Kalends laughed softly, "the negotiation process."
He walked up the steps of the church, and a few attendants were already waiting for them by the doors. Kalends raised his other hand to his shoulder for Claudia to climb down onto and then waited for her to take it from there. He was fairly sure that the little plague would not be able to carry such a heavy purse on her own, but, as he was unfamiliar with these people, wanted her to select which person she trusted enough to carry their earnings.
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Posted: Thu May 03, 2012 5:40 pm
Claudia smiled rather smugly as Kalends paid her a compliment and she gracefully moved from his hand and onto the church attendant's palm. "It has been a pleasure working with you Kalends," she cooed, fluttering her eyes at him, "I will make sure that you receive the warmest report possible and I personally think that The House will be in contact with you very shortly..." She paused, stroked her chin lightly with the tip of one cruel finger. "If there is no official business that The House desires you to do I am sure we will stay well acquainted regardless... Perhaps when I am less handicapped by my size we could arrange to do further business. I imagine I would always appreciate the company of a man of your professional talents." She extended her miniscule palm towards him - it would be slightly peculiar for them to shake hands considering the massive size difference but she felt as though it fitted the kind of work they had been doing. They made a good professional couple and this seemed like the right way to end the day. "What say you, shall we meet again at some point? Perhaps your circumstances will have changed by then..." A knowing smile flickered across her face and for a moment her eyes darted towards his satchel... Yes... She would like to see how he would react to that.
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Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 2:09 pm
Kalends inclined his head to Claudia in a slight bow as she returned his compliments. "I am always pleased to work with someone of a like mind when it comes to business."
He noticed her tiny hand and, bemused, extended his index finger to it and touched it gently in a shake, and even though his digit dwarfed Claudia's whole hand, the sentiment was still there. Good business partners indeed.
"My circumstances?" Kalends had not forgotten the watchers that would no doubt resume their vigils of him as soon as he left the church's grounds. His anxiety had abated somewhat, but he would always be leery, even in times of success. It was just his job. "My lady," he smiled, "if my circumstances should change such that there is a time when I am ever not in danger, it will only mean that I am not working at my fullest potential."
There was not much that he wouldn't do to keep pushing himself to the limits of his skills, to be the best thief that Edgecrest, and perhaps someday Imisus, had to boast of. Kalends continued to smile to himself. Yes, he had no doubt that he and Claudia would meet again.
He only hoped that whomever they came up against would be ready for it.
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