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 Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 10:51 pm
With his head resting on her chest, and the way she was lightly stroking his hair, Shun was finding it difficult to not slip away. It was incredibly comfortable here, and he was completely exhausted.
"It is not you.. who needs to apologize," he said quietly before she ushered him to rest. His eye was already closed, and it wasn't wanting to reopen right now.
"I don't... too many... not.. "
The reaper was already drifting off as he was trying to sleep, breaking up his words. It was difficult to figure out exactly what it was he was trying to say there.
"..why.."
It was the last thing to escape his lips before he finally lost in his fight to remain awake.
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 11:05 pm
Mitsu couldn't make sense of her reaper's words but said nothing as he drifted off. Instead she continued to stroke his hair knowing sleep would not come to her as easily as it had come to him.
Minutes passed into hours and the only thing Mitsu had to occupy her time was watching the subtle change of light beyond the window in Shun's room as the moon drifted across the sky. The mental war was currently at a stand still. She was too mentally worn to think about her shattered values any longer. Maybe this was what it meant to grow up. Burying your true feelings and thoughts behind a solid wall. Riyo obviously understood all along.
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 11:13 pm
Shun had been soundly asleep for several hours, but after some time he began to stir. Something was going on in his head. His dreams. He wasn't awakening yet, but his body tensed and he was shifting slightly against Mitsu.
"..No.. 'm sorry.. Mitsu.."
Despite his lucid dreaming skills, this one had gone beyond his control. To some extent at least. He was aware of himself, but other elements and continued on despite his effort to change things. In a sense, it was worse this way.
Another noise escaped him. It... was almost like a whimper of sorts.
"Don't.. "
Right around there, his eye snapped open half way. He was a little disoriented right now, but he knew that he had just had a dream. Even so, he couldn't help but slowly push himself up and glance down at the girl.
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 11:25 pm
Shun had slept fairly soundly and Mitsu continued to lay silently just staring off into the other side of the room, holding the reaper close like a security blanket. It wasn't until he started to speak in his sleep that she looked down, her hand beginning to stroke his hair again when it had gone still long ago.
"Shh..." She said softly hoping it would ease Shun out of his dream.
The whimper made her frown, the arms around him holding him tighter. He wasn't always as strong as he let on, Mitsu often forgot when faced with his never wavering front.
"I'm here..." She started but noticed he had stirred awake. When Shun made to pull away so that he could push himself up Mitsu allowed her arms to relax so that he could, staring up at the reaper as he looked down at her.
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 11:39 pm
There was a sort of troubled look in his eye as he stared down at her. Furrowing his brow, he controlled his breathing and slowly ran his hand through his hair. He was still telling himself it had been a dream, but a part of him had to wonder about one thing or another. Perhaps it was that small part that allowed the dream to take control out of his hands.
Shun looked as if he wanted to say something, but he really wasn't sure what to say. He was having trouble formulating his thoughts.
Instead, he grimaced and glanced down wards. A lot of things were swimming through his mind. For now, his words were lost.
"You're.. still awake.." he said finally, though it had nothing to do with what was going through his head.
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 6:57 am
Mitsu nodded at his statement, though she had a feeling that wasn't what he wanted to say. It looked like there had been a question forming but nothing was asked.
"I can't sleep." She laid where she was beside him waiting to see if he would lay back down to sleep or if he would get up and figure out what else he wanted to say. "It sounded like...you had a bad dream."
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 9:49 am
Shun frowned at that and fell silent once more until she mentioned his dream. Even then, he didn't reply right away and sort of shifted uncomfortably instead.
"You could say that.." he said while trying to think it over.
Rather than laying back down right away, he brought one knee up and rested his arm on top.
"... How would you feel, if I were to tell you.. that Stacey likely won't be the last one."
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 9:59 am
Mitsu's eyes searched Shun's face waiting for an answer but he really said nothing on the matter. Instead he asked her a question, one she feared and didn't want to think about at the moment. Her face started to scrunch like she was going to be upset but after a short battle her expression soothed back into nothing. Just a hollow stare. She had no energy left for emotions.
"Killing them isn't going to solve the problem." She finally managed though her voice was soft. "Israfel was right to a point. It can only make things worse especially if what the others said was true that we are only in the middle of this conflict between the horseman and the hunters. The only thing we would manage to do would be to direct their attention on us fully and things would be worse than they already are."
She sighed softly turning her head so that her face was buried in the pillow. "Why did you want to do it? Was it only for the satisfaction of revenge or was there something else?" Came her muffled voice.
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 10:53 am
Shun grimaced as he saw the shift in expression, but it seemed to stop after a short while. Even so, he wasn't particularly happy to be upsetting her. But over all, he didn't know what to do about this. As she spoke, he said nothing right off the bat. Would it only make things worse? He wasn't really sure. Though, he soon looked to her as she tossed a question back at him.
"I had several reasons," he replied before laying back down besides her. He didn't close his eye though, and continued speaking.
"One part was for revenge yes. He did take out my eye and furthermore, destroyed Hel's wings. Another reason was because I was certain that I would not falter when it came down to the final blow. That and I would make sure to try and make sure it'd be swift. If we were to kill him, it should be someone who wouldn't back out at the last second or someone who would purposefully draw it out... or even someone who would likely hold regret for what they just did?" he said in a fairly neutral manner, "I had one other reason too. At least two had fallen into his hands and I had more or less willingly helped. Granted at the time I didn't know the full extent of things, but it doesn't change much. I... don't know if I can say I feel bad for it, but I did feel responsible to need to do something of it."
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 2:16 pm
Mitsu turned her head slightly to look at her reaper. Her eyes were so full of confusion she just couldn't make sense of anything. His actions, his words and how she felt about any of them. "I...I don't know how I'm supposed to feel.."
Closing her eyes for a moment she tried to process. "I...I know how I would have thought before. How I would have reacted but I can't muster those feelings. I'm scared, angry, sad, relieved, and most of all confused." She swallowed hard like it was a struggle to continue. "I don't know what's right or wrong I just ....I don't want things to get worse."
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 2:32 pm
Turning his head to meet her gaze, Shun could see the confusion in her eyes. He slowly brought up a hand to gently place a hand to place at the side of her face.
"I guess that's something we sort of share right now. Regarding what happened, I don't really... feel much of anything," he said quietly before letting out a breath, "Right or wrong.. has never really been much of something I took into account. I just do what I have to."
There was a pause.
"I.. don't even know if it's a good thing that you're feeling like this.."
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 2:59 pm
The lycan couldn't help but nuzzle into the hand at the side of her face, trying to feel comforted by the contact. She was so lost, nothing felt quite right at the moment.
"I just....I never wanted anyone to die. Not permanently." The smallest glimmer of tears started to show again. "Not even the humans." Her features contorted slightly in a pained expression. "I will never be able to forget. Not his name or what he said...or the way he died and how his body just laid there in the end." She curled in on herself again, like the pain was new and fresh and she hadn't spent three hours in the bathroom earlier being upset.
"I never wanted this," She continued to mumble, pressing her hands to the sides of her head. "I never wanted you or Hel to get hurt but everything is just...so outside my control."
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 3:14 pm
Shun could see a slight glint of light in her eyes. Grimacing, he let out a sigh before attempting to wrap his arms around her. The thoughts running through his head earlier just seemed to grow stronger. He was doing this to her.
"I shouldn't have gotten you involved in this... I'm sorry."
An apology alone wouldn't cut it. He knew that much. But he didn't know what else he could do. Should he try to push her away? The idea of that made his heart heavy. Too heavy.
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:45 pm
Mitsu only curled in tighter, her head resting against Shun's chest as she cried again. Her body shook and trembled with the effort, her hands clinging desperately to whatever she could. Effectively she was broken and really had no idea how to put the pieces back together.
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:50 pm
There it was again. Her tears were flowing once more. Closing his eye, he held her closer, feeling his heart ache. Shun waited a few, trying to think about what he should do.
"You're... you're too good to have to deal with any of this. Is it really worth standing by me when it means breaking you apart?"
A part of him hoped the answer would be no. But at the same time... he dreaded it if it were the case.
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