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 Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:37 am
A TABLE OF CONTENTS WILL GO HERE
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:46 am
CONCRETE JUNGLE (SOLO)
In which Huey Johnson takes his daughter to the city for passport arrangements, disgust ensues.
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"Aw, Jack."
"I know dad, I know."
Jacqueline Johnson chewed her lip before the receptionist, glaring at the American-flag-painted nails as if they personally offended her somehow. The woman raised a brow at her, wondering if the adolescent would present her name in a more official manner that was fitting and presentable. The name "JJ" was nothing short of a slip (a Freudian slip? No, just a slip). Literally, Jacqueline Johnson had not used her birth name in ten years, and its resurfacing was awkward as it was embarrassing. The woman must have assumed she was dumb or whatnot, for her incredulous expression pointed at nothing else. JJ's fingers trembled, a defense mechanism to situations whenever she felt like something was unfair or when attention wasn't supposed to be focused on her. Both her father and the receptionist seemed impatient, the elder Johnson was tapping his foot, and the latter's stare was a step beneath malice. Jacqueline's questions earlier to the receptionist, admittedly, were trivial. She'd asked for the woman's qualifications and why it mattered for reservations to be made if the entire passport process was just as slow without it. Clearly, JJ wanted to prove that she'd done her research on the process and that she wasn't a blundering high-schooler with skinny jeans and sneakers knowing little about what documents her name would eventually gloss. There was nothing wrong with it, her father was pleased that she was interested, but she wasn't even being waited on by the passport lady; the receptionist already hated her.
"Jacqueline Johnson," JJ finally managed, a bitter taste filling her mouth. Huey smiled sheepishly in her direction, his hand patting a mass of his youngest daughter's mussy hair. She frowned visibly. "I'll just wait over there in those plastic seat things. Sorry."
I'm not sorry that you're annoyed, I'm sorry that I feel awkward.
"It's no problem," the receptionist replied dryly. She resumed her routine with the next person in line.
The Johnson duo walked in the direction of several collective, plastic seats. Their crude arrangement made the institution appear as elegant as a DMV, and neither of the Johnsons found comfort in their seating. The elder feigned a preoccupied look by glancing over JJ's documents, thumbing through the different birth certificates of his three daughters while searching for his youngest child's and frowning when the words "Jacqueline Johnson" appeared on the correct one. He looked over at her. She wasn't smiling, and frankly, he didn't blame her. The girl was teasing the corners of her dress shirt, eyes hidden by the shadows of her hair. He reached out to her, his skinny fingers patting her shoulder. Huey was sorry for lying. In truth, Jacqueline did not need a passport--it was fine for her to register for one when she was older. He figured it was a small lie, saying that she'd need one for her Washington D.C. field trip when both of them knew that the Johnsons could never afford for her to make the trip with her classmates. It was an excuse to spend more time together, and JJ feigned enthusiasm earlier for Washington D.C. He'd planned to take her exploring the city later, San Francisco was more livelier than Tuefel Town on a grand scale.
"Sorry dad."
"No, no, Jack. It's not your fault."
"But I made a scene sort of. I didn't mean to. Well. At first I didn't mean to, but Clarissa had it coming."
A slight pause.
"Who?"
"Her name's Clarissa. The reception lady, I mean."
JJ looked the other way, her throat tight. Her father was probably looking forwards to this day, the one day the two of them could spend time with each other in the city. He probably knew she was too smart and would be able to point out the fact that they couldn't afford the D.C. but also clever enough to know that she couldn't turn down a family day. She'd only acted out with Clarissa because of the way the woman looked at her. "We don't have JJ's here, unless your name's Jacqueline Johnson. You're a girl, aren't you?" No s**t she was a girl. But she didn't want to be, at least, not in that exact moment. Human biology was awful in the sense that you didn't get to choose, and JJ certainly was disallowed to. She liked being a girl; there was nothing wrong with being a girl. While it was frustrating that she couldn't seem to find comfort in other girls, Jacqueline Johnson did not hate sharing a gender with them. She bit her lip; the knot in her throat seemed to loosen a bit after her father spoke, but there was an unwelcome lingering feeling that settled. Clarissa's words were shocking and unexpected. JJ's silence shook up her father somewhat, she could tell. He hadn't truly spoken to her until now, and she closed the conversation. It was her fault.
But he didn't think so.
"We could go home if you wanted to, Jack."
"Nah."
"Jack we could go home. You know that. You're my hero, kiddo. You make the call."
His hero, huh?
"Nah, it's cool." Jacqueline offered a small smile to her father which he gladly accepted with a returned one.
She looked at him with her mother's eyes and there was nothing in those greys that Huey could argue with. The two Johnsons sat in silence, the younger feeling pleasantly apathetic while the older felt as if there were things that needed to be said (that he didn't, or couldn't). It had always been futile to teach Jacqueline life lessons. She never needed them and she was a fairly polite adolescent, even when provoked. Then again, Huey had never witnessed his daughter's egotism in school and therefore was not a fair judge. It was moments like these in which JJ felt that it was probably better that her father knew only of her domestic persona and not of her school-self. It was an awful feeling, really, but nothing foreign. Hanging out with her dad was awkward outside of the home mainly because s**t like this often came up and there wasn't much she could do to avoid such circumstances. If anything, both Johnsons felt more comfortable in their domain, and the big city was less of an adventure and more of an alien planet. A planet where JJ still couldn't connect with its inhabitants and less so with herself.
Kinda like Tatooine to Luke, Jacqueline thought, her smile growing. She'd become used to referring to Star Wars examples whenever she found herself in predicament. At least, waiting in the reception area was better than waiting in the Sarlacc pit, not that her stomach didn't feel like a Sarlaac pit. It was different with Eleanor and Abigail, her older sisters were rather pretty and well-received. Her father spent less time with the duo and more with her. She wondered if it was because of their attachment that she felt strange being in the city with him, saying "Dad" in a context that wasn't home. Other girls said "Dad" freely in the presence of friends, but among friends, JJ often referred to him as "My Old Man" or "The Big Man At Home". Yet she held her tongue when the receptionist was watching. The bandages on her hands suddenly popped out to her more, and she noticed that she was wearing less of them than usual. Her father never asked about them, never asked about her bruises either. Huey wasn't an overprotective father despite that he cared a great amount for her, something she knew for certain without having to confirm with her father. They rarely told each other (verbally) of the love they had for one another, but both knew that it was present always.
"Peppermint?" JJ asked, reaching into her pocket and popping open a box of gum cubes.
Huey smiled wearily and took a gum cube for himself. Jacqueline did the same, and the two chewed on their thoughts for awhile longer until the speaker called for Jacqueline Johnson.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:47 am
MARC ANTONY & CLEOPATRA WERE STUPID (SOLO)
In which Jacqueline and Jeremiah promise each other never to marry.
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The lunch tables were filled by the time Jacqueline reached them. Her own tray was pitiful-looking in comparison to her schoolmates, and while Jacqueline usually didn't care enough to look around at what other people were eating, today was mac-and-cheese day so it was kind of a big deal to her to pay close attention to what luxury she could have gotten. Simply put, Jacqueline Johnson was butthurt, and being butthurt soured her mood and tongue. She spied Jeremiah Lancaster sitting closeby and he looked up from his book when he saw that she was near. His hair was hidden under a sports cap today, and Jacqueline suppressed a laugh when she noticed his choice of saggy pants. Jeremiah often ridiculed the "hip" century, and she wondered if he was trying to make a satire of it. It certainly wouldn't be unlike him. The Johnson girl felt less heavy-hearted as she sat herself across from him. She took a subtle peek to see what he was reading and smirked when she recognized the prose on the pages.
"You know who else puts their friends in circles? Dante," JJ laughed and Jeremiah snorted. While she was trying to make the best out of her lack of mac-and-cheese day, Jeremiah remained as apathetic as usual. He didn't seem to notice that Jacqueline was making an effort to be friendly, but Jeremiah was the kind of teenage boy that barely noticed most things unless someone was to point it out to him. Still, Jacqueline liked him enough to stick around. Clearing her throat, JJ asked: "Is that pleasure reading?"
"Kind of. Not sure."
"Ah. Where's everyone else?"
"Dunno, library or lunch line--doesn't really matter since we'll hear from them online when we get home. You down for the Uverworld beta?"
She'd almost forgotten the beta came out today, and blinked at its mention. Before, when she'd discussed it with her friends, everyone but Jeremiah seemed excited for it, and she was surprised that he of all people would be bringing it up. His brown eyes returned to book-reading and he seemed to lose interest in if she answered him at all. Jacqueline inched closer to him, and he inched farther away as if by instinct.
"What are you doing."
"I'm down for the beta but I didn't think you were interested," JJ said in a solemn voice. She made a dramatic, surprised face and Jeremiah broke into one of his rare smiles and closed his book. It was probably a stupid book, JJ assumed, otherwise her taciturn friend would have ignored her from the beginning of the conversation.
"'Course I'd be down for it, I just didn't think I needed to tell anyone explicitly, damn."
"Sorry," JJ agreed, and the two of them sat waiting for awhile.
After it became clear that their friends had most likely ditched them for the library, Jeremiah spoke again.
"Mom's getting married again."
JJ raised a brow.
This was news. Well it was repetitive news but news nonetheless. She smirked while emptying the contents of her bag and re-organizing them. Jeremiah's mother had always been a short circuit when it came to relationships, but unlike the stereotype that her image could understandably give off, JJ knew better than to assume that Mrs.Lancaster was a slut. She did it for Jeremiah. She always did it for him, trying to find the ideal father figure that she felt was good for her son. Jeremiah, however, had no standards for what father he would want. He didn't talk about himself much. Jacqueline knew this much. Or maybe Jacqueline didn't know anything at all. He usually talked about himself in context of his home life--what he did at home--how things were going at home--home, home, home. She would like to know more about him, primarily because he was the only friend of hers that spoke so...solemnly.
"Guess you're hit by that. So long as the Ma's happy?" JJ inquired, hoping that her tone conveyed a joking thematic. "Course it's not like you can't take more hits I mean--you're good at it."
"Shut up," Jeremiah snapped. "You wouldn't know anything. You think she's happy? I don't even know why I tell you guys this stuff. I should just shut up and read, ******** s**t."
JJ recoiled, and Jeremiah relaxed when he realized that he'd stepped himself up.
"I didn't mean to raise my voice. I bought up the topic anyways. Marriage is ******** stupid. I just want her to be happy. I'll stop."
"Nah, it's okay," Jacqueline blinked, concentrating hard on the holes of the lunch table. "It's not like I'm going to marry."
"Wha...but...but you're a girl!"
"...So...?"
"Isn't that a girl thing to do? Think about getting married?"
"So first you're angsty and then you're sexist?"
"That is...not...what I meant to say...I mean..."
"Then what do you mean...? Jesus, Lancaster. Talk to me."
Jacqueline folded her arms.
"s**t, I don't know. You put me on the spot? What about you?"
"Since when are you asking me questions?" Jacqueline humored before getting serious. She scratched her ring finger. "I dunno. I wanna go do something really cool before I ever think about sharing myself with someone, yanno? Like something awesome. Luke did that entire saving the galaxy from the empire thing before the Mara Jade thing. I just haven't really proved myself to myself. Can't really prove myself to someone else if I can't even do it to myself. It's...like...counter productive."
Jeremiah winced. "I'm just going to take that as a 'no'. You've lost me again."
She did that a lot whenever the two of them spoke. She liked talking to Jeremiah just as much as she liked talking to people that didn't...set her off. Ironically she was usually the one setting them off, but at least, it was a nice break from what she usually received from people. She sat in silence with him for the remainder of lunch, watching her friend return to his book out of her peripheral vision. Hopefully his new father would last. Then again, Jeremiah probably didn't care who he was. JJ wondered about what she said to him. Did...she sound weird? She didn't mean to. She meant to be frank, as frank as she could come across as. Funny how someone who hung out with boys so much could feel so flustered around them at times, especially around Jeremiah the statue, who was rather inanimate as he was.
"Cool."
JJ looked up.
Jeremiah peeked at her from behind his book.
"That awesome thing you're gonna do. Is it like a club thing? Some saving the world thing? You said Luke...so..."
JJ reddened. "U-um I...I don't know I want to help...the...the nearest thing to me. I would say family...or...friends...but...that's...."
"Small."
"Well, yeah."
"America?"
"Hell no. Bigger. The galaxy."
Jeremiah laughed at that, and JJ kicked him from under the table.
"I'm serious, Lancaster! <******** dude, it was your face when you said it...!"
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Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 11:06 am
A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR (PRP)In which JJ is acquainted with empathy and baked goods.[x] Feat. Gloria Vitanza
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Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 10:43 pm
TINFOIL (SOLO)
In which Jacqueline decides that this, soon, will not pass, but should.
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Jacqueline sat by the station after school, happy that her father enjoyed his gift, but wondered for how long that happiness would last. The train rushed by with a windy gale, and she smiled as the passengers inside exchanged positions with those in the station; the action itself was beautiful in the same way the clouds in the sky traded positions with the puddles in the ground. Everything would return to its original position, and it gave JJ a feeling of relief. She'd been feeling that relief since she was a child, even after the move, and the comfort she felt from it had begun to feel discomforting. It was strange--but understandable. The conversation she had with Jeremiah confirmed as much, and her relationship with her father was a nice "sidequest". Yet she couldn't help but to feel empty lately and full of some sort of longing. Was it to impress Jeremiah? Was it to prove to him that she wasn't joking? What was it with him lately anyways? The little s**t usually didn't ask questions, yet he was full of them yesterday. It wasn't as if he fancied her or anything because the guys she hung out with fancied girls out of their leagues. JJ, however, never thought that she had a league to begin with, and that she was 'pretty much a guy probably'. Jacqueline sighed. No doubt that Abby and Ellie accepted her for who she was verbally, but she could easily tell from their maskless faces of how they truly felt about her decisions, rather, her indecisiveness.
"I wish...I wish I could just be some sort of hero." Jacqueline muttered under her breath, honest. Her father called her his hero, but JJ felt as if she did nothing but act as a hindrance in the family function. "Heroes seem to do nothing wrong, ultimately. I mean they might ******** up somewhere in the middle but people still nonetheless associate them with some sort of noble image. An image that makes them feel safe and proud. Something that I'm really not."
Something--no--someone that Abigail and Eleanor never could truly find easy to cope with.
Jacqueline recalled Campbell's formula regarding heroism, and wondered if she could apply it to her life as some sort of solution. Campbell was always inspirational to her in the way he thought, frankly, she thought that everyone should think like he did at one point in their lives. Perhaps it was just her fondness for formulas and associations of philosophical mathematics to everyday life. It's how she dealt with in-class mathematics. If there was an issue, she'd refer to the corresponding formula and things would just work out. Solutions. Formulas. X's. Y's. It was the same with modeling. Gather the right parts, generate a working image, and there you go, a junk critter is born.
She'd packed Titan and Lee with her today, and their tin limbs clanked when she played with them. She made them hold hands as the next train arrived. It was beginning to get boring, life as it was. Jacqueline never made any decisions about it, her life, that is. Everything just happened or didn't, and she didn't like to be held responsible for making choices. She didn't like other people making them for her either. College. Futures. Marriage. Why? Why did life have those stupid things you can't ******** ignore? Like the woman who sat down beside her with her iphone by her ear and sweet-talk by her lip. Could she ignore her boyfriend? Or was it her manager? Or her children? The conversation really could go either way judging by the diction she was using. Or the man who walked by the two of them, carrying a stack of newspapers in his arms, rushing as he checked his watch. Was there something he couldn't ignore as well? s**t always happened. What was that saying? This, too, will pass. Except that one thing waited for the next to pass, and the cycle repeated itself.
"Maybe it's that nobody has an opportune moment to do anything," JJ mused. Didn't that lady want to talk the way? Did that man want to get a better job? Maybe so, but maybe they just didn't have the opportunity to, and Jacqueline wondered if it was the same for her, that she just didn't have the chance to say that she really....she really wanted to do something--something for herself--something to prove that Jacqueline Johnson could keep to her word and make something of herself. Yet, she didn't know if it was for herself or for her family and friends. Sighing, the girl unscrewed a loose nail in Titan before screwing it back into his side, glad that her friends, at least, were free from the pain of nails driving into their bodies. Metaphorically, she felt that they were awful. While things did "pass", they never actually "stopped hurting" once they happened. Not to her, but to other people. People like Mrs. Lancaster and her father. People like Jeremiah and other teens not too unlike him and herself.
JJ wasn't watching the next train that arrived. Her eyes were closed, and she was thinking. What if...
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Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 6:48 pm
 july 9, 2012.pistolsys Jacqueline woke with a shiver. She rubbed her thumbs together, blowing on them for warmth while her eyes searched the environment for deductions. She was sitting on something wooden--most likely a bench. JJ didn't remember falling asleep earlier, but there were very little things that JJ could remember well these days because she chose not to. The Johnson girl chuckled when it dawned upon her why everything was not only dark but blurry; her glasses were neatly folded on her lap and she raised them to her eyes. A flickering lamp nearby illuminated the words 'TEUFEL STATION' every two seconds in an almost vaudeville manner. Giving a small groan, Jacqueline decided to accept that she'd been asleep at the station for a long while, and quickly patted her sack to ensure the safety of its contents. She was glad that nothing had been stolen while she was slumbering, but the desolate station was an unusual--Teufel Station was, after all, a transfer station--and it wasn't that late, was it? There was no-one in sight, and even the ghastly lamp was soundlessly indecisive.
"Huh. So the hero's journey begins in the darkness of Teufel Station? Oookay...."
Her creations sat limply by her feet, and Jacqueline scrambled to pick them up when she realized that she might have subconsciously discarded them in her sleep. They seemed to stare accusingly back at her through lifeless eyes, bored in by the work of JJ's hammering. "Some kind of hero you are, leaving your fellow sidekicks behind," they seemed to say, and JJ took it as continued commentary from an earlier introspection. She looked away from the miniatures and towards the station's looming shadows. They shrunk and grew in the darkness, yet the girl couldn't seem to find the light source that birthed them. There didn't seem to be a light at all--sans the flickering one. Earlier, Jacqueline had been relating Campbell's hero's journey to her own would-be quest, and she found herself blushing at her own situation.
"So my 'call to adventure' would be the decision I made before falling asleep--the decision to be a hero that mattered to others..." JJ mused, trying really hard not to conjure the faces of the Johnsons or Jeremiah "...and maybe then....me."
It could be the perfect solution. Dad would stop asking her about college and her sisters would leave her alone about boys or s**t girls did around her age. Things that made her appear responsible and attractive to their image. Things that were supposed to manifest within Jacqueline Johnson but never could because she didn't allow them to. Things that should have defined her. Her father had called her his little "hero" for as long as she could remember. Hell, she wanted to make the endearment true to herself for all she cared at this point.
The jingling of bells broke the silence, and JJ jolted at the interruption. She breathed a sigh of relief, using it as confirmation that she wasn't alone in the odd atmosphere. At first, she assumed the sound to be a cat or some sort of pet animal with a bell collar, but a voice soon corrected her assumption, and Jacqueline began to feel...perhaps...the sensation of fear...? It was an intuitive feeling, instinctive and reflexive. Foreign. She grabbed her sack and shoved Titan and Lee into it before moving towards an area where a shadow was. It was easy for Jacqueline to find the courage to cry out: "Where are you kitty? Dog? Whatever the hell you are. Bear. Land shark."
She was expecting the creature to hide itself, shying away from her as most animals would in the presence of a human. JJ expected wrong. A faint, white figure crawled slowly, its red eyes unblinking. The tips of its ears were dyed in a lovely pink hue that Eleanor fancied and it resembled the guise of a cat. Sighing, JJ knew aliens were real. This must be an extraterrestrial encounter--or a dream--or something. It was different than any Star Wars beast JJ knew of--it was smaller than an Ewok infant for certain. It circled her, its expression unwavering and slightly eerie in the dim light. Perhaps it was the "supernatural aid"; some sort of spiritual guide in her journey? This was a dream, after all. The brain drew references from one's subconscious, and JJ's was a lexicon of, well, literary terminology and formula. For all she knew, this was some sort of Freudian materialization of her wish.
You have a wish. a sourceless voice sounded. I can grant your wish if you make a contract with me!
"Y-you can do that?" Jacqueline mused, staring down into the reds of the critter, associating the voice with the creature since it nodded at her answer. It leaped upon her shoulder, nuzzling her cheek affectionately, and Jacqueline smiled a little, glad that someone--something-- was listening to her earlier pleas. Yet, it couldn't all be entirely that simple. Whatever, Jack. This is a dream, so just wing it out. It's not like your choices will actually cause a dimensional rift, besides, you'd be smart about your wishes, she thought to herself as she stroked the supernatural aid's ear, satisfied that her subconscious was at least painting the journey by the Campbellian formula. Sometimes saying things aloud solidifies personal resolve, JJ. Protagonists do it a lot in stories, and aviators do it by procedure before takeoff. It wouldn't be a bad idea, she told herself, trying to buy into the opportune setup.
"How many wishes do I get?" JJ inquired in mid-stroke. The creature wasn't a genie, for there was no visible lamp, but Jacqueline wished to assess its supernatural prowess.
Just one, but I'll grant it for sure! Make a contract with me!
It sounded so easy, which was what made it all the more unsettling.
But this is a dream...so...
"Okay..." Jacqueline said slowly before closing her eyes, and the creature bounded off her shoulders and in front of her on the station floor. She raised her palms to her chest, pressing them against each other like a Christian would during prayer. The Johnsons were not a religious family, but it seemed to be the appropriate gesture to do while making an important wish, at least, in JJ's opinion. It amplified the spiritual significance of the gesture and the motive. Taking a deep breath, she heard her voice solidify her personal resolve: "I want to perform heroism for an audience. Heroism that is boundless in resolve. Infinite and strong heroism."
Heroism that would manifest and grow.
Jacqueline Johnson bit her lip. She was knowledgeable enough to know that a vague wish was a dangerous wish--but she wasn't sure if her vocation was specific enough to work. The pain from her canines made her realize that she had not been dreaming at all and that she'd woken up during a very dark hour. The station light stopped flickering, but the light that filled the station was not emitted from the lamp alone.
Kyuubey flicked its tail lazily and hopped off of Jacqueline's lap once the contract began-- the Incubator tilted its head and listened intently. A white light burst from around the train station, and it paid little mind as the sound of clinking gears and gasoline spurred from the brunette's chest.
A Soul Gem ripped itself away from Jacqueline with tremendous force, floating in front of Jacqueline and beaming with steel gray light. It was always those with such intent determination that Soul Gems pried itself away so easily and willingly. Girls like that were few and far between, and it was those romantic ones that always made a wish with such eagerness.
Then it's done! The contract is complete. I've given you the strength you need to perform the heroic feats you've always dreamed of. I hope that you'e as bold as you say!
 Click the Soul Gem for her full artwork.
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Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 5:13 am
this is a wip
Jacqueline sucked in a breath when the light dissipated and the creature, too, with it. The egg-like trinket glistened between her fingers, and she pursed her lips in scrutiny at the infinity sign emblem on its front. Despite that it was dark again, JJ found that it was easier to see, and easier to hear as well, for Eleanor's voice rang loud and clear from the west side of the station, and the youngest Johnson knew that she was in serious trouble. She clutched her bag close to her as Eleanor's silhouette grew slimmer and the girl--no--woman--herself came closer. Jacqueline stared into another pair of Johnson greys and saw that they were wide with worry, anxiety, and chagrin. The younger Johnson's shoulders fell at the touch of her sister; Eleanor had her by the wrist, her bun bobbing angrily all the way back to her Honda civic with a furious turn of the ignition.
"Where the hell were you earlier? Why didn't you leave your phone on!?" Eleanor barked, her driving rivaling that of a nascar professional.
"D-dude it was on...!" JJ stammered, scratching the side of her face whilst thinking about the alien critter that had formed a contract with her not too long ago, and began dreading the baggage that came with the trinket, for it was a common story trope. "I'm sorry, okay?"
"No, Jacqueline! That's the problem, you really aren't!" Eleanor shouted, causing the younger girl to jump. "You never are, and you don't even know it when you do something stupid."
"Hey I--"
"YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND LET ME FINISH."
"I don't know what kind of 'changes' you're going through, but I've had to take the calls for you during times you skipped out on class or whatnot because of your 'creative whims'. Is there some cute boy at the dump or something? Some cute boy at the station? Because OTHERWISE I WILL TELL YOU NOW, DRUGS ARE NOT WORTH IT. DAD DOESN'T BELIEVE ME BUT I KNOW SIGNS OF A STONER. AND YOU...YOU COULD'VE BEEN RAPED."
By the time she was close to the would-be end of her tirade, the femme Johnson had parked her Honda into a nearby McDonalds parking lot and had her face in her steering wheel, and Jacqueline had her face pressed against the side window. Silence filled the space between the two, and neither of them wanted to banish it. Jacqueline was mortified at the thought of her father using the idea of herself as a smoker to reason why she disappeared often, but she was more so appalled that her trusted, elder sister would be the one to suggest it. When she made a wish with the creature, Jack had never envisioned such a following, and she could not fathom how any portion of her wish had come true. Drugs were not things that heroes were obviously involved with, unless it was a science fiction novel and the drugs' ends outweighed their ends. She did not, however, believe that she would have been, well, raped, even if it was past her curfew and she was alone in the middle of a public train station. Who would rape a boy? Carefully, JJ began to explain herself, and hoped that Eleanor would accept whatever would be the product of her symbiotic brain and mouth.
"H-hey Ells, I know I probably worried you sick, but see, I fell asleep," JJ said, beginning with the full truth. "--and when I woke up, it was really late. I was too scared to move so I didn't--and my phone uh...I don't think I bought it, but it's usually on, you know that."
Her sister refused to drive away from McDonalds, so JJ continued on.
"I didn't want to leave the station because I could, uh, get raped. But then you came, so that was really good! But then you got super angry so I'm just like 'oh my god Ells is going to have me punched in the throat when we go home' but this doesn't really explain the disappearing on other days stuff so I'm going to go into that now."
"Please."
JJ took a deep breath, and realized that a full-fledged confession was probably going to be the best way to go. Her sister was looking at her from the rearview mirror, and JJ could see how ugly her freckled face was, frightened, in the darkness.
"The truth is...the truth is that I don't know what to do with myself, that's why I always go to my favorite places to think about that a lot. I want to fix everything wrong about me, especially the part about being indecisive about sixty percent of the stuff I'm confronted with, but I really just want to deserve to be called dad's hero. I want to with all my heart. I wish I was more like you Ellie. I wish I wished that instead. I'm not much of a hero, and I don't think I'll ever be, s**t."
"You'll probably think I'm lying, and that there's a boy involved. I think there could be a boy involved, but I don't even know if I have a crush on him or not, and he barely ever leaves his house, so the station and the dump have nothing to do with it."
Eleanor sighed.
"I have some confessions too, Jack. I guess I'm not being fair either by yelling."
Jack? Jacqueline wondered. Eleanor usually referred to JJ as "Jacqueline" because it was more feminine and "official".
"Jack, you are a hero. You've done many heroic things, though you probably don't think that they are considerably amazing. I mean your SAT scores and the Star Wars marathons made up for Dad's depression. Did you even know that dad even had depression? He doesn't have it any more, or at least, the symptoms have stopped thanks to medication. I would never be able to do any of that. Dad and I aren't very close, you know that. He's less close with Abby."
This was news to JJ, and she felt a lump forming in her throat. She knew nothing of this--her family probably hid it from her or never had a chance to tell her. Both were very understandable and probable in the Johnson household, but she never knew that her sisters weren't on the same relationship level with her father as she was. She'd always thought that her father was an easy man to get along with, and someone who reached out to everyone often. She sat in the Honda's leather backseat in awe of herself, but didn't feel like smiling. A few minutes ago Eleanor was steaming. Now, the elder's tone was more lax and apologetic, which was a highly complex emotional turnabout.
"Dad's better now, but I'm still doing a ******** mess of a job at being a good daughter to him. Just because I can make my own choices doesn't mean that I make the right ones."
She smiled into her scarf.
"At least you made the right choice tonight. You waited so I could find you. You're my hero too, okay? Without you, I...I don't know what Abby and I would do about Dad."
"The right wish tonight, huh?" JJ mumbled, wondering if that actually held any gravitational truth. Abigail bit her lower lip with a lost grin, and backed out of the McDonalds parking lot and the Johnsons retreated home.
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