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He watched Deryk carefully, considering an explanation, before shrugging and waving it off. "You risk your life out there every day, trainee. Are you really surprised I don't do the same? I don't see you drinking."

As Deryk listed off all of the reasons why Caelius seemed indestructable, Robert began to think hard. And that was difficult, with the increasing amount of fuzz flying in his head. Jeez, he'd only had three beers, why did he feel like he was going to pass out soon?

He meant to go grab a fourth, but smartly decided to pass. Instead, he felt his phone beeping, and let out a raucous laugh.

The entire cafeteria stopped and stared at the sound of Caelius bursting with laughter.

"I'm a real popular guy today! Let's see who this one's from.." He finished off his last beer as he read it, and his eyes widened, accidentally spitting the beer out in surprise. How the hell had MADISON found out?! She certainly wasn't texting CAELIUS like this.. Jesus Christ, this was getting a little out of hand.

"Uh.. uh.. just.. give me a second here, Mr. Bond." He started texting back, fingers flying against the keys, but mostly the backspace because he was making way more mistakes than usual. Even autocorrect was having a hard time with him now.

The phone immediately beeped again.

The question made Robert's blood turn ice cold, but he was a professional actor. He would not break scene. His face turned cold, and he finished his beer, before gesturing coldly. "I thought we were having a pleasant conversation, trainee. If you feel like questioning me in such a ridiculous manner, however, then I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Now."

He wished he could summon Circe. It would punctuate this moment perfectly. So instead, he used his words.

"You are dismissed."

Madison had to stop running and puzzle over the message for a while. He just salt? What the ******** did salt have to do with anything? This was pretty ******** incomprehensible even by Robert standards.

... But okay. She knew where he was now. The Death Hunter took a deep breath before turning and running the other way, towards the cafeteria. She probably... Caelius had given her an order, but Robert was her friend and she could at least warn him first.

She arrived in the cafeteria only panting a little bit, and she allowed herself a moment of satisfaction at her own awesome stamina before launching herself through the door. And yep. There was 'Caelius' in the corner. She skidded to a stop in front of the table, saluting at him for the look at the thing. "'Sir', you are so hugely ********>," she whispered at him, putting both hands flat on the table and leaning forward so nobody else could hear her. "How the - why the - what is going on seriously."

Nio Love

"Hell no, oh god stop making that face that is CREEPY," Madison said, actually covering her eyes a moment in sheer horror. "Don't make his... his face do that, god." Somehow, she remembered the 'Fracs Deus Ex' from the Life labs all those months ago - and no, no. Actual Caelius looking cute was just never going to happen.

Though maybe that was just because Robert thought puckering up looked more like MySpace duckface?

"Seriously, how the hell - and he really is really mad, he told me to find you, I decided I owed you your life, so..."

"Don't talk about me and Caelius and funny in the pants," she snapped, "or I'll give you and him a black eye at the same time!" Was she kidding? It was kind of hard to tell...

Fortunately, her expression softened into a wry grin. "Of course I'm worried about you - hell, I thought you were in Caelius' office and ran in to save your a**, and I guess I figured I wasn't done with the a**-saving yet. But, uh. Is this kinda... like, going to happen to other people? I don't wanna wake up in anyone else's, uh, pants. Or whatever." She gave him a wary look, as if whatever Robert had done might be catching.