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"You can visit any time, Jude, by portal or on foot," she gesture to a small gate at the side of the clearing. "Like I said, the path is a bit of a hike, and not exactly safe but...it's a nice walk, when you need some time to just...think. The view's pretty too." She turned to look out at the sky, the blue of it was bright and almost painful in it's clarity. With a sigh, Clarice glanced over at Jude, "Do you want to be alone for a bit, or would you mind the company?"

She smiled in return, "Yeah, we can do that. Just tell me when you're ready." Giving him a bit of space for the time being, Clarice wandered to the edge of the clearing and sat down, legs dangling over the side. It was a long drop, but the view was one of the few truly peaceful ones to be had on the island. It was...pure. A small part of her regretted that her little marker would never be placed up here. Ben's was down below, eventually her own would join it, Jude's as well. Down in the fog, no blue skies or sunshine for hunters.

Not that she'd be alive to get all depressed over it, just that...it would be nice, if someone visiting her grave, had something nice to look at too. Clarice sighed and smiled a bit painfully at the morose, wistfully morbid line of thinking.

After patting the dirt off, Clarice took the offered arm with a small, appreciative quirk of the lips, "Thanks." I'm sorry. "We should be able to get something decent if we skip the cafeteria and just use the senior hunter lounge." I am so very sorry for your loss. "It's a bit more comfortable as well."

There's nothing anyone could have done.

You aren't alone.

It gets better.

She squeezed his arm gently.

It's okay.

There was a certain sense of relief, in that small touch. She wasn't ******** this up, or making it worse for him. And they weren't being all awkward...

Jude's question threw her completely, "Um...that's..."

Hello awkward. There you are.

It wasn't so much a sensitive subject, it was just something that she didn't really have an answer to. Her when I grow up hopes and daydreams had ended pretty early. It was one of those things she still looked back on with a certain amount of regret, that she'd voluntarily shut that part of her life away.

She was quiet as they walked to the lounge, but eventually she settled for, "I wanted...to be safe. To go to bed at night, and just sleep without fear and anxiety." She gave him a wry smile, "I was never able to think beyond that, really. You?"

They had reached the lounge, a nice sized room with warm lighting and comfortable seating. "That was a good goal, Jude. Maybe not what Killzone would call emotionally healthy for your Jude Place, but I think focusing your life on caring for someone else is...brave."

Grabbing a mug she went for the tea, rather than coffee, "Hunters usually come with a fair of issues and sensitive topics, but I wouldn't worry too much about asking the wrong questions. Just maybe the wrong people to ask." She gave him a small sideways glance and smile. Caelius may be MIA but it was likely only a matter of time until he was back and sending his division to the infirmary on a daily basis again.

Clarice took a seat in a big comfy chair, and sipped her tea. "The should-have, would-have, and what-ifs are a pretty...slippery slope, Jude. I can't blame you for exploring them in retrospect, but try not to lose yourself in them. I can't tell you if your life would have been better, there's studies, that we've done. Observing those who said no or who were simply never approached. There's statistics, graphs, and all sorts of bits of propaganda that will say yes you made the right choice, but really?"

She gave a small shrug, and took another sip, "You'll never get a definite yes or no, just limitless maybes." She made a small face and looked at him apologetically, "Sorry, that's not really..." Clarice trailed off lamely and she focused on stirring her tea before switching subjects. "Deus is really just what you make of it. It can be a home and opportunity just as easily as it can be a prison full of petty dictators and questionable moral decisions. For some people it's just another job that happens to have decent benefits."

She stared into her tea as he talked, as if the leaves would tell her the right words to say. Coming here...Jude may have had a part in that, but Susannah's death, that was another matter entirely. Somehow, though, she felt that saying it hadn't been up to him would make him feel any better. At least feeling responsible for something was better than feeling powerless in the face of something so...inevitable, as death. At least is was as far as Clarice was concerned.

Instead she sipped her tea and eventually nodded, "It's a small, weird island full of strange, slightly damaged people. But," she smiled in return, "...they have their charms."

The smile turned a bit wry, "Yeah, okay...some of them are pretty great in their special little ways. Others you just have to put up with or Killzone will start forcing everyone into doing corporate trust building exercises." Just the memory of the last one had her downing more tea in order to soothe her nerves. Caelius had been her partner for the whole fall back off this small cliff and trust the other person to catch you thing. Hadn't ended well. Not well at all.

"Plus sparring give you a great excuse to hit them," Clarice decided to go for happy thoughts on this one. "A lot."

She paused.

"Except Caelius. Some people are best left un-hit."

So much for happy thoughts.