Welcome to Gaia! ::

[Somebody's read Douglas Adams. smile Quite a good start. I like how you transitioned from one scene to the next and the Sagus language is interesting (that a real language or are you making it up?). Your descriptions of how the nav spheres and flux feeling work are helpful and your bloated gas ball creature is quite fun. Thank you very much for introducing your character to another character.

Just a few very minor technical suggestions, the greatest of which being to vary your vocabulary. Find a few simple descriptive phrases to use in place of your character's name or he and switch between them. Also try not to use the same words too often in one paragraph. Lastly, proofread. There's at least one typo.]



[Yep, she's creepy. You're really getting a good Children of the Corn thing with her, which is wonderful. I love the childish glee and mimicking you're doing with her, very good. As for the grammar, there's a typo in the first paragraph but overall this is much improved.]

"Aaah~ Jer! It's castin tha magics" Gary sputtered, holding up his hands protectively as he backed himself against the wall when Alice started speaking gibberish and pointing fingers. Jeremy heaved the pipe up with a grunt and swung it at the 'ghost' only the stumble forward, half into her, when the blow struck nothing but air and continued to the ground.

The sudden lunge snapped the last hobo, Barney, from his trance and he gasped at the other two, "What'dya think yer doin' ya crazies" he snapped at them waving his hands as if that would make them stop panicking.

"Fools making fool I'm seeing," a velvety voice purred from above them. The striped cat grinned down, tail flicking calmly as he watched the scene below with idle amusement, "With a new thing come new to being."

Barney and Gary both stopped to stare up at the cat a little wide eyed but Jeremy hefted the pipe again to try another swing.

[Poor girl. You did a good job of capturing overwhelmed wonder and building panic in a meek subject. I like the fixation with the trailing light at the beginning then how you opened it up to the rest and included the major aspects of the setting. Minor technical comments: Try not to start a sentence with the same word on which you ended the last one, it's awkward. Also, and this is good advice for everyone, vary up what you call your character. Sometimes use she, sometimes her name, and come up with a few identifying phrases (3 words or less that you identify your character with: the sly thief, the mighty warrior, the doctor, etc) to use as well.]

Stunning was a good word for this place, for it's beauty and the overwhelming nature of the sheer exoticness of it. So many things she'd never seen, never even dreamed of juxtaposed against the mundane of people going about their everyday business as if nothing strange at all was going on around them.

The monk she'd nearly collided with had just given her a pleasant smile and spoke some words she didn't understand. She didn't understand anything being spoken around, so many different languages all at once and everyone seemed to understand each other. The angels, the witch, the what could only be a prince on his white horse, they all looked as if this was nothing special - they were nothing special. Even the crowd parted calmly around the girl like people collapsing in the plaza was not only someone else's problem but not even something to stare at or be concerned with, as if it too happened every day. Quite too much really.

[Leaving this open for another player to step in.]

[Wonderful introduction. Love the interaction with the tech and his reaction to the forest.]

The pod's crash had carved a long ditch in the mossy ground behind it and banged up a few trees but it wasn't near the damage it should have been to have crashed through that canopy. Only one branch had fallen, the light of it's crystalline leaves feebly flickering as the glow faded from them, leaving only greenish glass-like scales. It was an odd thing among oddities.

But Rüd wasn't given much time to contemplate it before all hell broke lose in the canopy above him. He saw a very large, dark shadow swoop over the trees and then there was fire; a terrible explosion accompanied by a thunderous roar that split the ancient forest's peaceful silence like a violent crime. The trees quaked in the gale force wind pushed down upon them by the sudden pump of the giant thing's massive wings as it climbed higher. Rüd could not really see this creature through the canopy, only its dark shadow and the now dying fire, but he'd seen enough to know what direction it was going.

Alice
"It's castin' tha magics Jer!, It's castin' tha.." She repeated as Jeremy stumbled through her, cutting off her words. She stared down as the old man passed through where her absent belly button should be. This was the first time anything had passed though her body, in fact it was the first time Alice had come into 'physical contact' with anything. A whole new realisation formed in her head, she could pass through things.

However before Alice could test whether this applied to everything she was interrupted by the cat above. Now not only where the hobos making noise but other things were too, her curiosity went into overdrive!

Alice shot forwards laughing her head off and circled the cat a few times to take in the details of its stripes and tail, meanwhile Jer, who had swung the pipe towards her yet again, flat out missed this time. Not that hitting Alice would have done much anyway.

"Gyaahahaha~! Heeehh, Jer! Jer?" Alice asked pointing at the cat. It was apparent that whatever the hobos said had sunk into her brain. Alice could tell Jer was a name but to who the name belonged was still a mystery. She rather abruptly moved on from the thought of Jer though, her hyperactive attention span had ran it's course and Alice was now trying to catch the cat's tail as it lazily passed through her hand. All this helped to do was remind her once again that things passed through her, which spurred Alice to begin poking her surroundings and watch as her finger sunk through them like thin air.

It was a great mystery to Alice, these things definitely existed, as did she, yet she couldn't touch things like Jer could with the pipe. Alice stared at her finger intensely and moved it closer to her face, which caused her to go a little cross eyed. She could touch herself at least, which was evident when her finger poked her own eye and made her flinch, so why couldn't she touch anything else?

Alice blinked her wide eyes a few times to regain vision before staring over at the cat once more. There was a look of confusion on her face, a look that almost asked 'what is going on here?' but it was greatly mixed with a look that also asked 'why are you smaller? What are you saying? Is purple a fruit?' Alice was just curious in general, and the cat seemed to be a little more collected that the bumbling hobos below. Not only that, but the cat had funny ears and a tail. Alice raised her hands to her head and positioned them like the cats ears, laughing joyfully as she tried to mimic the small furry creature.

The hobos below gaped at the ghost girl's fleeting attention and stumbled over each other as the more sensible two pulled the pipe swinging Jer away, taking the opportunity of the distraction to make a fumbling escape into the streets beyond. The cat however just kept curious green eyes on Alice wearing a permanent smile on his patterned face as he purred. The stripped tail continued to flick idly as the girl attempted to catch it. The cat hadn't even flinched as if he'd known the result would be inconsequential.

"Insubstantial" the feline purred without moving his mouth as the hobos had done to make noise. "Incorporeal. Inexperienced. Innocent," he drew the last out with a wider grin as he flexed a black footed paw to lightly bat at the girl's flowing hair. It passed through just as Jer's pipe. "To be new and not be," he paused to bat her hair again, an idle reflex. "To not be and not know," he stretched only to roll onto his back on the wide top rail of the banister. "You, sweet spirit, you are what is going, what is not knowing, what I am saying is -- Purple is the sky, and the fruit, and the light, and the cat is I."

Alana was left to herself for a while to stare in shock as the people passing by ignored her with the practiced ease of big city dwellers. At least until a hand reached down in front of her from the left, upturned with fingers stretched out, offering to help her up. The palm and wrist and arm beyond was wrapped in cream cloth, like bandages or a boxer's wrap, but the fingers were bare, tips tinted dark with what looked to be stains of ink.

The wrappings disappeared into deep brown sleeves halfway up the forearm which disappeared in turn under the folds of a hooded cloak. Long slits cut in the cloak's shoulders allowed the arm to reach through without exposing the body underneath, save a glimpse of dark clothing from the hole. The cloak's front was held together by a pair of brass and leather buckles and there was nothing ornate at all about it save the heavy weight of the fabric itself, perhaps a thin leather though not polished. The feet under the cloak were bare, wrapped as the hand with the toes exposed. The wrappings disappeared under the hem of dark brown pants, too long for the legs they covered so the edge drug at the heel. The pants were covered from the ankle by the cloak so nothing much else was seen.

The man, she could only assume it was a man from the height and rough callouses on the extended hand, kept his hand out to the girl without a word, the only one to offer help. His face was hidden in the shadow of the cloak's deep hood. Only a hint of a pale jaw showed through, rimmed in a fringe of bright red hair.

The beach was well in the distance with many acres of grassy pasture between it and him but there were ships of all kinds dotting the water, mostly clumped together in what looked to be a large harbor city, ringed in circular canals. More immediately interesting was the woman standing in said pasture and a pair of men farther up the gravel path.



Looking for something to hide in brought up less than thrilling results. The strange, soft, green blades that carpeted the ground were tall enough to hide her wrists but not her whole body. The gentle slope of the ground provided some cover from the upper edge but put her exposed to the facing side. A herd of dainty animals grazed in the green a few hundred yards away but they wouldn't make much for cover. Far down the slope in the distance was a sandy beach and sea surf, still not good for cover. Across the water was a large island floating in mid air.

Linda was distracted from that by a second blast from the 'flamethrower' as it roared again behind her, closer this time. Seconds later a giant beast with leathery wings and golden scales soared over her, circled by a smaller monster as the two climbed up the purple sky into the thick mists above.

To make matters worse she caught sight of a large figure tromping down the slope toward her from the rise shortly after the beasts' passing.