Welcome to Gaia! ::

The D-Word, dating, was too close to a commitment and the M-Word, marriage, for TACO. He wasn't sure he could give up piles and piles of willing and eager and easy ladies to just have one lady. But he did really dig Sugar Delight.

"We can be dating. But not going steady, you know. I'd have to give you a promise ring and write you a sappy power ballad about how hard it is to be on the road first." TACO shrugged, this was the harder part to explain, "And, it's somewhere in my contract that I have to bring at least a certain percent of groupies backstage and give them a good time after every show."

The detail he left out was that he argued for that to be amended onto his contract. But none the less, his manager was always arguing that TACO's contract was important, and should be followed. He kept to the boring stuff, so he felt obligated to keep to his part. And, well, he really like dancing the horizontal polka with his groupies.

He sighed, "I'll understand if you take your delicious-smelling cookies and go home... TACO is a wild stallion, and and this horse you can not tame, baby."

TACO was ecstatic! He wasn't sure why he was so happy; ladies said they were down to get down all the time. This one felt different though, like a hot stage light was illuminating his heart. Could it be lo--lov---lust?

With a great rush, he shoveled cookies into his face, and talked with his mouth full. "Mhow'd muu mike mu mo mout mon ma mate?" He coughed, sending crumbs onto his lady's face. Gulping down the cookies, he grabbed the edge of his cape and daintily dabbed her face. TACO wasn't sure if Sugar Delight was wearing make up, but it was more a habit than anything to make sure it didn't smear.

"I"m sorry! They're just so delicious! I can't stop eating them. What I said was, how'd you like to go out on a date? Someplace classy; like a greasy spoon truck stop. Affordable and delicious, baby."

Looked like Sugar Delight was turning red with desire. TACO always found that he had that effect; he still had that magic touch. Well, and that other magic touch that hopefully he'd get to use after the date. Awwww yeah!

He paused and thought carefully how to properly describe the awesomeness of restaurants attached to truck stops. "Okay, so you know how about once a week a truck comes to Phonyland and rounds a bunch of Phonies up and takes them to sell to little girls and adult men? Well, the dudes that drive those trucks are badasses, and they eat badass food. Just outside of the Admin quarter of town, there's a place. A magical place. The unicorn lady that waitresses there has some serious hips on her. She's foxy, and just waiting for her big break into stardom, but in the meantime, she works with her dad. He cooks all the basics, burgers, fries, double burgers, cheese fries; you know, the main food groups. He does this on a flat, hot, iron stove-top. I don't think he's ever washed it, but that's okay, because that's where the magic is. He reuses that grease every day, and each burger is better than the next. And if you're feeling really ballsy, there's a 25lbs burger challenge. If you eat it all, it's free. I saw one of those badass truckers do it one time. Most. Impressive. Thing. I have ever seen. No lie, sweet-cakes."

Muffin-daddy? Oh no! Did that mean that TACO was getting fat?! Did his love handles show? Was he rocking a muffin-top over his belt? He nervously pulled his cape around himself to cover up. He'd have to be careful how many cookies he shoved in his face for a while. No one would love him if he were fat. It was just a rule... and another clause in his contract after that time when he pudged out like fat Elvis and was on the cover of all the tabloid rags. It was the most embarrassing public thing that had ever happened to him.

The most embarrassing private thing that had ever happened to him.... well, that would be a story for another time, and only after a lot of drinks. It was dark, and little TACO didn't know what it was doing.

"Maybe we should save the dinner date for later, and just skip right to the dessert now?" he said with quite a stellar eyebrow waggle. His charm was turned up to 11. And to make it more obvious in case Sugar Delight started talking about actual desserts again... "and by dessert, I mean you, baby."

'TACO, your charms have done it again,' he thought. Then like lightning, he swept around and made sure every door was locked. He didn't want to be disturbed during the process by one of his children. There were only so many clever things he could say to avoid having to tell them what he was actually doing. TACO had already told them he was playing both Twister and Clue, that they were practicing for when they were wearing a two-phony horse costume, that they were learning a hip new dance, and that he was hiding his magic wand, and she was seeking it.

Either way, it always kind of killed the mood to have kids randomly showing up. Ladies think it's cute when you're walking your children in the park, but not so much once you get home and get down.

"Baby, you can wear any cape you like," TACO said effortlessly despite that he should be out of breath from all of his darting around his trailer. He took off his cape, and wrapped it around Sugar Delight. It looked more tender and caring, and it kept her out of his mess of a bedroom. Chicks dig a sensitive dude. She could pick out a cape or two later. Right now, it was time to show his lady some real wizard magic.