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 Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2012 12:48 pm
Entry One
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The night air chilled my body as I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my hooded sweatshirt, how could I have been so stupid as to believe that anyone would ever love me? It was the hearts bidding and now it was my heart that was suffering the very most. A shiver coursed up and down my back as I continued to restlessly wonder under the comforting veil of darkness, the heavy overcast signaled for rain, which was exactly what I wanted.
Rain.
If I happened to start crying again at least I could hide the fact behind the crystalline liquid that would without a doubt would be saturating everything around me. Rain was always the perfect way to hide, always. Letting out a small breathy sigh that escaped as a visible plume of fog and mist I found myself removing my hands from my pockets, the numbness had already set in hours ago; I wasn’t even sure how I was still managing to continue forward. Throwing a glanced downward I regarded my bare feet for just a moment, the pads of my soles weren’t callused or protected in the slightest way and yet I couldn’t feel the transition from grass to icy stone as I found myself entering what appeared to be some sort of abandoned park or perhaps---
A garden.
My nose wrinkled as I made my way further into the odd place that I had never seen before, I was cold and upset, every fiber of my being was focused on the self-loathing that I deserved however the further I ventured the more I found myself lost to the wonders around me. Through the overgrowth on the spiraling path I could vaguely make out the glimmer of beautifully colored stones lodged into the masonry.
“No way---“ I breathily mumbled with cold, uncooperative lips. For a moment I simply brushed my toe along one of the larger gems before kneeling down and tapping my shortly cropped nails against it in disbelief. Further away I could see several of the precious stone simply scattered and laying in the twisted roots and green sprouts that broke the pathway into ruins, even if they weren’t real gems I could still use them, I could still take a piece of this ancient place with me. I had always been obsessed with touching historic items, knowing that someone years ago had made what I was holding, it was an overwhelming sensation that always made me feel grateful for the life I had remaining.
Shifting my weight onto the caps of my knees I shifted through the dirt with numb fingertips, sifting and searching for as many of the hidden jewels that I could find. “I’m not greedy,” I reminded myself. I was simply unfortunate and respected the wealth that I had never been gifted with; if they were real I could finally have a somewhat decent existence. If only they were real. With my luck though, they would just be another disappointment, a beautiful reminder that things were never easy, that I had to work as hard as a jewel cutter to turn my life into a glistening diamond that I could be proud of.
Slinking onto my stomach I could feel my sweatshirt ride up and expose my skin to the icy mud that littered the garden in patches around the spiraling pathway, there was something just out of my grasp under a thick gnarled root that branched off and caged around something illuminate and glowing. I simply couldn’t help myself, whatever it was I wanted it, I felt I needed it. I continued to belly crawl with out-stretched hands, the frigid muck I could feel was making its way into the waistband of my jeans and smearing across my somehow exposed hips. What was getting into me? I had absolutely no clue.
The growl that escaped from the back of my own throat startled me as I twisted my arms at awkward angles; the blistering hot stabs that pressed against my skin alerted me that the slippery roots that I battled against were well on their way to victory. “Oh seriously,” I snapped with venom lacing each syllable that tumbled from my lips, I could feel the smooth surface of the item I was seeking so desperately to grab, the pads of my fingers traced along the sheer edges of the unknown treasure; teasingly eluding me but giving me enough contact to keep my desire of capture fueled. Snarling I wedged my left shoulder under the lowest point where the root attempted to kiss ground but left a gap just wide enough, barely wide enough to slip beneath. Pressing forward, the balls of my feet driving me closer towards my goal with strength so rarely used in such a manner I could feel my arm giving its all, stretching to its limit.
Pop!
The sound was one that I had heard many times in my life, the bone pulling away from the socket, the unmistakable snap of my shoulder dislocating. The shriek that erupted from my mouth didn’t do the pain that I felt justice; the swell of tears filling my deep green eyes obscured my sight for just a moment. The heat in the joint of my arm was overwhelming however a faint wave of comfort crept up the length of my limb as I realized the item that I so frantically attempted to retrieve now resided firmly in my hand. Whimpering softly I eased myself from the cluster of overgrowth gentle pulling myself out of the earthen trap.
A vial?
The glowing, shimmering bottle brought a dark laugh from somewhere deep within my core, I had gotten filthy and hurt for a bottle of filled with goodness knew what. What a waste of time! Grunting bitterly a sat in the icy muck of sticky red clay as it caked onto the seat of my jeans. Part of me wanted to hurl the bottle across the unkempt lawns of the garden; the other part of me wanted to cry. What the hell was wrong with me? Why did I feel I had to do anything in my power to retrieve such a mundane item? I just didn’t understand and yet as I held the bottle in my good hand I couldn’t help but feel proud, regal, and happier, completely at ease with everything around me. It was odd.
♫ ♪ ♫
The musical chiming glided through the still night air, blinking back an expression of confusion I tried to remain calm. I was the only one here; I had to be hearing things.
♫ ♪ ♫
No… I was certain this time. I had heard something… something that… called to me… just to me… for me… Reaching up I gripped the plugged vial against my dislocated shoulder and rose from the damp ground. The pathway, although in ruin and disarray still lead towards a destination, maybe if I kept going into the labyrinth---
♫ ♪ ♫ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪
Frantically rang the bell, the tight knot that suddenly grew at the base of my stomach steered my legs in the direction that the sound cried out from. This was so stupid, what was I doing?! Why did it feel as if my whole world would end, as if something so important to me was about to leave me forever. Pumping my legs as fast as they could carry me I scrambled down the crumbled spiraling steps, I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t!
At the end of the path resided a tree heavy with gathered dew that shimmered brightly in the ribbons of moonlight that managed to escape past the dark clouds. “You gotta be kidding me! This is it? This is---“
♫ ♪ ♫ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪
Noisily chimed one of the untainted droplets of condensation, the air in my lungs burned painfully as I scanned for the source of the sound. Water, no matter what form it took didn’t just ring like a bell. Wincing slightly I attempted to focus past the aching heat in my shoulder, it was like everything else in my life, I was failing someone because I was too weak.
♫ ♪ ♫
The sorrowful sound the bell made cause me to glance up, precariously hanging from one of the branches of the tree threatening to plummet to the ground below.
“NO! I got you!” I screamed loudly towards the odd gathering of dew, snatching the leaf that collected the moisture to it I found myself collapsing to the ground on my knees as I made sure I didn’t let the musical droplet splatter into fragments of its former self. The breathy whisper that floated around me like a dreamy haze kindled a spark of understanding deep within my being. Coddling the leaf and dew close I gripped the plugged vial with my fanged eyeteeth and uncorked the canter then brought it down towards the precious gift that I now realized was anything but ordinary. With a single drop from the glass vial the dew flooded with color. The shade of nobility. The colour of royalty.
My very own golden dream.
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 8:43 pm
Entry Two
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Anesthesia grunted as she moved down the hallway towards her new apartment sporting a cardboard box in her good arm, the sling that cradled her injured limb continuously caught and snagged on the items as she attempted to set them down causing the young woman to hiss and bare her glossy white teeth. Overall the petite brunette seethed with discontent, she was sweaty and her arm was throbbing painfully as she juggled the parcels around without dropping them completely. To anyone else the petite figured tomboy would have seemed as if she were on the cusp of ripping off the nearest persons head however the truth of the matter was she couldn’t be happier. Everything was finally turning around for the mousy haired brunette despite what her physical appearance eluded to, she was beyond jubilant. The night that she had spent in the secret garden had proven to be more than beneficial; the gemstones that she had lined her pockets with were more than enough to live comfortably for the next few years without needing to worry about a source of income.
Letting out a sigh Anesthesia found herself turning in place and staring wistfully at the front door that was left wide open, the breath in her chest caught in her throat and her hands trembled ever so slightly. She was still alone and no amount of money was going to fix that. Her lover Toxic had left her, there was no fixing it.
“b***h,” bitterly mumbled the messy haired brunette in a tone that wavered, for as hard as she attempted to sound angry only sorrow colored her words. Closing her green eyes the pixie of a woman shoved her fist into the front pocket of her hooded sweatshirt before twisting at the waist and stalking towards the inner workings of her bare apartment. “I still have so much to do---“ She breathed, exhaustion apparent as she spoke. Pressing her back against the wall the pale complexioned tomboy let out a sigh, lowering herself to the plush carpet she brought her knees to her chest. Nothing was going to make the hurt go away, nothing.
Hot tears were already streaming down her face as she found herself pathetically crawling cross the carpet on her stomach, slender arms out stretched towards the solitary item that rested out in the open unprotected by a box or container. Carefully Anesthesia lifted the fuzzy pink creature to her jaw, hushed words spilled from her lips and soaked into the stuffing of the inanimate toy that loved her unconditionally. “Mister Google!” She sobbed uncontrollably, unblinkingly he peered back at her, his cream colored beak fixed into the pleasant expression that had been sewn onto him the moment he was created. If he could he would have kissed her and used his small flippers to stroke the bridge of her nose comfortingly; just how he knew she liked it. However, he was just a toy. Her best friend but still just a toy. How he longed to just be able to speak to her once to let her know that she really wasn’t alone. He would have given anything just for a chance to comfort her pain. Just once.
Snuggling into his small pink chest the brunette exhaled with a grim chuckle, she was simply just too tired to continue crying. She had so much to move into the apartment, so very much to get settled before the movers brought her furniture. “You always know just what to say Mister Google,” airily complimented the messy haired guardian in a low pitched tone that was solely meant for the duck creature’s ears only. “How about we get some lunch, then I will get back to bringing the boxes upstairs. How does that sound?” Rhetorically stated the messy haired youth as she pushed herself up and sat the plush companion on her wounded shoulder, with bare feet she slowly made her way towards the kitchen. For a few moments the brunette simply leaned against the long stainless steel counter and stared down at her obscured image, with a breathy sigh the girl twisted her head and gazed down at the pink toy perched perfectly on her shoulder before padding towards the large black refrigerator. Yanking the door open the petite framed tomboy peered into the metal container then slammed it shut with a groan.
Mister Google would have shaken his head if he had the ability to do so, he also would have quacked playfully into his beloved owner’s ear and told her that she was silly; food wasn’t magically going to appear. She hadn’t gone shopping yet. Grumbling under her breath Anesthesia shoved her right hand into her jean pocket and produced a mobile device from the deep confines of her skater jeans. “Chinese sounds good to me, what about you Mister Google?” She asked half expecting him to speak up and voice his opinion, if he could she was sure he would love noodles. A giggle escaped from her lips before she could restrain herself, she could either order Chinese or some hot wings, maybe a sandwich, she wasn’t sure really. All of it honestly sounded amazing, flicking her tongue across her slightly fanged eyeteeth the brunette ambled out of the kitchen and into her bedroom. Plopping onto the floor the woman crossed her legs and stared down at the pillow that rested on top of a small plastic bin.
Ringing a pleasant greeting towards the human guardian that entered the room the golden dream cut its tone short as it felt the sensation of mixed emotions flutter about the small female. Staring down at the spherical magical ball of dew Anesthesia brought her knees to her chest and hugged herself.
She had learned shortly after acquiring the dream exactly what it was and what to expect, to be honest it all still seemed like a wonderful faerie tale that would dissipate within a blink of the eye. Bright green eyes jerked back towards her cellphone still tightly gripped in her hand, pressing her thumb on the contact list the young woman brought up the short list of names and numbers.
Lifting the device to her ear she smiled towards her golden dream as she waited for the person on the other line to pick up. The conversation was kept short and to the point, an order of vegetable and tofu lo mein, a six piece of steamed dumplings, a large order of Szechuan style beef with white rice, and a two liter of pepsi. It was a lot of food but she felt she deserved to treat herself, soon she would go out and buy groceries but for now she would just stay at home and nurture her growing dream.
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Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 6:02 pm
Entry Three
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The low pitched groan that escaped from the back of my throat did little to ease the annoyance that I felt as I thumbed through more of the cute children’s outfits in the maternity store, everyone around me kept staring at me; I couldn’t help that I looked young and I couldn’t help that I was expecting a child any day now. Gritting my teeth together I focused on the task at hand, shopping for Mika. A slow steady smirk pulled at the corners of my lips, I couldn’t help but smile just the slightest bit when I thought of my golden dream. Taking a few steps forward I stumbled in the heavy white toed sneakers that I had decided to wear out into public only a few hours ago, god I hated shoes, I hated them with a fiery passion. My feet felt like lead, weighted down and hot, my toes were already twitching and coiling uncontrollably against the socks that further strangled away the freedom that they craved.
Tapping the side of my sneaker on the floor I allowed myself to let out another annoyed grunt of disapproval, all of these little miniature people clothes sucked or were just creepy. Stuffing my hands into the large pocket on the front of my sweatshirt I found myself sauntering out of the store wearing a neutral expression that was laced with undertones of relief clinging to my facial features. The mall was one of the few public places that I had frequented even when I was broke, I always enjoyed the feeling of having people around me even if they were complete strangers, money never really seemed to be an issue when you were just walking around browsing no one really stared down at you like you were trash; well at least not at the inner city mall that I used to shop at this one however---
“Free sample!” Boisterously yelled a female voice from across the food court, at least that was one thing I could count on; pushy food venders. Nine to one it was an Asian lady trying to peddle her Americanized chicken teriyaki to any passerby that looked in her direction. Running my fingers through my long messy bangs I paused for just a moment to watch the people scurrying around me, there were cliques of teenagers and happy looking couples darting in and out of stores. It was rather amusing, normally I found myself at the mall when I was in a sulky mood but today was different I actually had a purpose to be at the social hub.
Shoving my hands into the front of my shirt again I made my way down to the second floor, hitting the steps hard I took two and three at a time bounding down like the White Rabbit off to meet the Red Queen. Mister Google and Mika were at home waiting for me, turning the corner I threw myself into the next store that had baby clothes in the front window. How quickly would she grow? Grumbling at my lack of knowledge I strolled into the shop that had children’s apparel, every few steps I pulled something that I liked off of the racks and held it in my arms. This place was gold! They had duck hoodies and adorable clothes that just called to me. When Mika was a little older I would let her pick what she wanted to wear but until then she was going to be subjected to my overly cutesy sense of taste. She was my little princess and she was going to have the best of everything.
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 8:40 pm
Entry Four
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Anesthesia felt the cool morning breeze kiss at the bare soles of her feet, the condensation on the glass in her hand beaded up and rolled down the side of the canter leaving a wet ring on the comic book she was using as a coaster. Slender fingers pushed the stylish hipster shades up the bridge of her nose, she had yet to sleep her phone had been ringing non-stop for the last two days, people that she barely even knew were phoning her, she honestly had no idea how they were finding out about her sudden newfound wealth Didn’t people have better things to do than to harass a single mother? A snort erupted from her soft pink lips. That was so funny, she had a child to take care of and she had never once had a c**k bury full length into her and defile her womb with its hot, liquid seed. That would never happen, never. Pushing herself up with her elbow the messy haired brunette sat the screwdriver down onto the random issue of the Ultimate X-men then tumbled from the lounge chair on wobbly legs, exhaustion was apparent on her pale visage as slim fingers reached up and drew the sunglass from the bridge of her nose; today was going to be ******** long.
Glancing from side to side the twenty-seven year old arched her back then turned to face Mika whom was seated on an overly soft pillow set underneath a small duckie umbrella. “It is just us today baby girl, let’s see. What should we do today? How about we get a shower, and I will get some breakfast. Maybe we can go pop down to The Inquisitive, get a cup of coffee and buy another box of pokemon cards,” she felt like such a nerd but at the same time she enjoyed games and had the extra money to actually splurge on the small joys that she normally couldn’t afford. Brushing her slim fingers through her scattered bangs Anesthesia picked up the alcoholic beverage that she had just sat down, lifting the glass to her lips the brunette drained the contents of the canter then scooped up the dew from the pillow that she was resting on. “Come on, let’s go get ready.”
Relaxing against the cool tile of the wall Anesthesia extended her neck upward and allowed the hot beads of cascading liquid to rain against her bare flesh, a delighted moan filled the silence of the steamy air as the slender disk jockey relished the warmth of the cleansing shower. Nothing could possibly make this any better.
The shimmering explosion of light blinded the twenty-seven year old leaving her dazzled and staggering around in the ceramic pad of the stainless steel stall. “What the ******** was that?!” Anesthesia blurted out with a bite to her tone, pushing the sliding glass door open the woman found her mouth dropping open.
Wine-red eyes stared intensely into the bright green hues of the brunette, with a shrug of a small delicate shoulder a snowy wing stretched then pulled back in a regal neutral position as slender arms crossed over a bare, flat chest. Swishing a fuzz covered tail the dream pushed the corners of her lips up and smiled towards her guardian. “Mika!” Darting out of the shower the soaking wet brunette latched onto the child and brought her against her body cradling her protectively, her voice stunned and soft. “You’re more gorgeous than I could have ever imagined.” Lavishing kisses across the girl’s pale face Anesthesia eventually ceased her actions and stared down at the white-haired dream, again deep red eyes peered into her accompanied by a smile that warmed her visage yet gave off the slightest air of over-confidence. Lifting a hand upward Mika gestured towards the large tub that resided in the corner of the room then flared her wings out and flicked her tail so that it hit the floor with a sound thud almost as if she were stamping it demandingly. Arching a slender eyebrow the brunette glanced towards the bath then snorted. “Figures. Come on I will run us a bath.”
Stepping back into the shower for just a moment Anesthesia shut the water off then padded over to the large tub and fiddled with the control knobs then turned towards the youth, again the woman found her mother hanging open as she stared at the snowy half-griffin, standing on clawed feet with only the smallest amount of difficulty, drawing her wings against her back Mika ambled shakily towards the older woman. Helping the winged child into the warm water the slender brunette found herself coiling around the girl kissing her shoulders and stroking the downy soft wings that pressed against her bare skin, possessively Mika latched onto the other woman and nuzzled her face into any part of the guardian that she could find; tiny fangs strapped at bare flesh as if the child was attempting to place a claiming mark for others to see. “Eeep, hey, hey, Mika. Settle down baby-girl, everything is okay.” Hissing in retort the white-haired dream drew her lips together as if pouting then abruptly turned to face the woman and tackled into her biting roughly into her neck and growling dominantly and possessively, flaring her wings wildly splashing water in various directions Mika attempted to make the startled woman understand; she was jhers and hers alone. Reaching up with spasming hands Anesthesia tangled her fingers into the flowing ivory locks of damp tresses then forcefully yanked at the at the roots drawing the girl’s head up and away from her throat. “I’m yours Mika. I know that,” releasing her grip she brought her forehead together with the child’s then sighed raggedly. “And you are mine. No one is going to take me away from you.” Puffing her wet feathers up the pale complexioned half-griffin nodded then softly purred and relaxed visibly.
Today was going to be so ******** long.
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