Welcome to Gaia! ::

THIS IS HALLOWEEN: Deus Ex Machina

Back to Guilds

Welcome to Deus Ex Machina, a humble training facility located on a remote island. 

 

Reply THIS IS HALLOWEEN: Deus Ex Machina Training Facilities
[PRP] Pleasing your lady (Jerry & Clarice) FIN Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2 3 [>] [»|]

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

lizbot
Vice Captain

No Faun

PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 10:36 pm


Her smile grew a bit wry, "Killzone is pretty aggressive, so don't worry, I'm happy to help you um...work one this." Clarice reached down and took his hand in both of her own, looking him directly in the eyes, "And you're doing the right thing by asking for help. It's just like you said, Candace is really understanding, so I'm sure she'll understand and appreciate what you're trying to do here. So while Valentine's is a pretty good day for...romance, don't put too much pressure on yourself. Coming to terms with yourself and your...hang-ups can be stressful, and giving it a deadline can cause things to get worse rather than better."

The blonde thought about it for a moment before brightening, "Maybe make a back up plan, in case the sex part seems a bit iffy on that day? A nice date centering around her interests would go a long way toward showing Candace how much you appreciate and care for her."
PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 11:18 pm


"Her interests..." His face had gone red again, his hand cold in her's as he kept his eyes glued to his knees. As far as he could surmise, besides just general enjoyment of each other's company, and listening to the occasional personalized song (He knew that was always a hit with her) or training runs (not terribly romantic, really), her interests lay in... kissing and cuddling (he was alright with) and the beyond (which was the problem.) "W-well... that's.. why I'm here. But... but I guess I can try to... to figure something out." A deadline was what he needed, he felt. Otherwise he'd just keep... eluding it and that wouldn't make anything better. "I don't want to keep leaving her disappointed."

Bilious

Sparkly Wolf

11,200 Points
  • The Wolf Within 100
  • Peoplewatcher 100
  • Nerd 50

lizbot
Vice Captain

No Faun

PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 12:23 am


Her interests...were why he was here...? Again it took a moment for to actually get it, and when she did, Clarice's eyes narrowed and lips pursed. It took a certain amount of self restraint not to slap him upside his head, and it was really only because he seemed so goddamn pathetic and well meaning about it all. Sighing a bit huffily she let go of his hand, and ran it through her hair, "You know, I'm sure she has interests outside of sex. Like, did she have any hobbies? What's her favourite food? Movie? Television show? Band?"

She was getting off subject, "Not gonna lie, the sex can be pretty important. And there's way to improve it," she wiggled her fingers at him, "...and she says she likes where you're going in that direction, right? I just think you should figure out why the thought of giving your girlfriend a good orgasm sometimes makes you look like a man being sent to his execution. I mean, we could give you the XD3 Runic Bandage, and you'd have an erection for a good few hours and the stamina of a bull to match, ok? But what would you do with it? Would you even enjoy using it?" Of course the side effects were so horrifying that it would probably turn him into a veritable eunuch anyway, but she didn't feel the need to scare him with those details.

Clarice steepled her fingers and sat back in her chair, "I'm not going to push or get all aggressively confrontational about finding your Jerry Place, or s**t like that. But I do want you to try really thinking about the source of the issue, you may be able to just power through it for awhile and get results, but in the end it'll just be a weight dragging you down, Jerry."
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 10:08 am


Jerry listened with a careful expression, brows furrowed as he watched her with utmost curiosity, taking mental notes of everything. He listened as she finished, biting his lip as he thought it over.

Finally, he glanced up meekly, "There's uh... there's really... runic bandages for um. That sort of thing?" He had to wonder what they did at the Life Labs sometimes.

Bilious

Sparkly Wolf

11,200 Points
  • The Wolf Within 100
  • Peoplewatcher 100
  • Nerd 50

lizbot
Vice Captain

No Faun

PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 10:16 am


Clarice gave him a narrow, suspicious don't you even think about it, Mom-look. "Some a*****e made it in his spare time, thinking it would solve all his problems. It just made them tragic with a side of hilarious. Men do stupid things sometimes, Jerry, when it comes to their p***s." She crossed her legs, voice soft, blue eyes wide with warning, "But now you know better than that, right Jerry?"
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 10:20 am


Jerry's face went white, and he rubbed at the back of his head, "Er... yeah. Yeah, of course. Ahahahaha. Um. S-so... so... if I did... want to do something special for her. I mean. On top of... of anything else, I mean... in bed wise..." He cleared his throat, "I just... have to um. TrytoholdonuntilIreachthatsmilieface? Is um... that what you mean?"

Bilious

Sparkly Wolf

11,200 Points
  • The Wolf Within 100
  • Peoplewatcher 100
  • Nerd 50

lizbot
Vice Captain

No Faun

PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 1:26 pm


She fought the urge to roll her eyes. Really Jerry, your p***s isn't the most important thing here. Clarice sighed and then smiled, "You can try, but how about, in addition to that, you get her very close to finish before you dig in for yourself? It may be a bit hard to tell at first, and she'll probably get a little uh...demanding if you do it right, though like I said women's bodies are all different, I mean when I'm close I..." the blonde coughed and looked away, flushing. Right. Little bit too share-y there. "Anyways, when the time is right, there's a good chance her body will gain a different kind of tension, and then you slide for home. It's a pretty reliable way to start out down the path of mutual pleasure."

Right, she'd explained that pretty well, right? Of course if he was gay this just may make things worse, but goddamn Jerry, she just wanted help okay? The blonde, still feeling a bit concerned, leaned forward and asked, "Does that sound okay for you?"
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 3:17 pm


He swallowed and looked as though he had just read a rather disturbing mission report, from which he may or may not make it back alive, "A-alright.. um. I... I'll see what I can do about it," He gave her what he thought was a brave smile, straightening up in his chair ready to pretend she hadn't just derailed into even more uncomfortable waters for just a moment. "It sounds like... it's a matter of orchestration and timing," His expression took a critical, ponderous look, already gathering his thoughts on the subject.

Bilious

Sparkly Wolf

11,200 Points
  • The Wolf Within 100
  • Peoplewatcher 100
  • Nerd 50

lizbot
Vice Captain

No Faun

PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 3:56 pm


Beaming at the man, Clarice clapped him on the shoulder, "There you go, Jerry. And practice makes perfect so don't worry if it takes a few tries to really get there. I'm sure you'll get some amazing sounds out of her in no time!"

Clarice's smile took on a slightly vacant I can't believe I just said that-quality.
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 5:24 pm


His expression picked up, at least, his usual sparkle returning to his face as he suddenly took her hand to shake it a bit too vigorously, "Thank you! Seriously, honestly, thank you! It's a bit difficult for me to ah... approach someone about this as you can probably imagine, it's a bit of a tricky sort of subject, ahahaha... so... so seriously, thank you for all of your help! I'll definitely be sure to think it over and come up with a good game plan."

Finally, he let go of her hand, his face going red again as he glanced over his shoulder towards the door as though double checking that they were alone, "Er... and about the er... contraception..."

Bilious

Sparkly Wolf

11,200 Points
  • The Wolf Within 100
  • Peoplewatcher 100
  • Nerd 50

lizbot
Vice Captain

No Faun

PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 5:54 pm


Apparently she had said the right thing somewhere in there, and Clarice's good deed for the day was a success. "It's fine, Jerry. Anytime you need help, just ask, kay? Now..." she opened a drawer and pulled out a variety if condoms. Flavored, colored, ribbed, sensitive, lubed, ultra sensitive, magnum, magnum XL. She was like the Oprah of contraceptives. If Jerry checked under his chair he'd probably find a voucher for a years supply of condoms. "Help yourself!"
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 7:49 pm


Jerry's smile only flickered faintly as his eyes dropped down to the drawer.

His face then went red.

But at least the now-desperate smile remained.

"Er... th-thank you um!" There were... a lot. Of varieties. Which was the best to... oh, bother. He closed his eyes, reached in, and took a handful of a bit of everything to be polite before stuffing them into his coat pockets, "Uh! I'll uh! Be sure to p-put them to good use! Ahahaha.. these are... store bought, right?"

Bilious

Sparkly Wolf

11,200 Points
  • The Wolf Within 100
  • Peoplewatcher 100
  • Nerd 50

lizbot
Vice Captain

No Faun

PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 10:33 pm


Clarice's laughter filled the room, "Oh no, don't worry. Those are perfectly mundane condoms, bought from a regular human store. I wouldn't give you anything experimental without getting your consent." Plus there were currently none approved for testing. Poor Jude...at least he missed the boat on that one. Reaching back into the drawer she pulled out a condom wrapper that had a glowing little bio-hazard sign on it, and continued brightly, "If anyone in the labs ever offers you one of these, just say no. They're just being assholes, kay?"
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 10:51 pm


He relaxed, but honestly looked a bit disappointed, "Oh, er... I'll be sure to um. Keep a look out. Er." He leaned in a bit more conspiratorially, "You might want to make sure those stay out of Robert's reach if they're d-dangerous at all."

That said ,though, he shifted his coat to make sure his pockets were well secured as he stood, "Thank you again. Really. I'll ah... be sure to let you know how it goes." He relaxed again, giving her a wink as he backed towards the door.

Bilious

Sparkly Wolf

11,200 Points
  • The Wolf Within 100
  • Peoplewatcher 100
  • Nerd 50

lizbot
Vice Captain

No Faun

PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 11:08 pm


The bright smile suddenly froze at the mention of Robert handling the rejected runic contraceptive experiments. "Yeah...it's no problem, Jerry, I'm here if you need me. Good luck." She gave a little wave as she tried not to have a panic attack on the spot.
Reply
THIS IS HALLOWEEN: Deus Ex Machina Training Facilities

Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2 3 [>] [»|]
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum