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 Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 5:56 pm
Geez, no need to get your boy shorts in a twist, lady face. You're just pissed because Johnson gave you a D on the math test. Ha ha! >.<Sorry Ruki! I didn't think she was too overpowered at first, but now that I look back on it you're kinda right.
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 5:58 pm
DON'T BE A FART FACE!! Johnson's inability to see my inner genius has nothing to do with my irritation at you!! emotion_donotwant
And stop flaunting your stupid A already, everyone is tired of it! YOU'RE BEING A PORPOISE!!
(Ha HA, using your own made up swears against you emotion_awesome )
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 6:55 pm
ғeel free to call me. . .
Ulysess White.
υnless you're blind, you should see that I'm. . .
Hmm, let me check. Just kidding. Seriously? I'm male.
чou think I'm what age? No, I'm. .
17
The υniverse welcomed me on. . .
December 14th.
α lot of people say I'm. . .
Since birth I've had the astounding gift of being incredibly facetious. In simpler terms, I'm sarcastic. I don't treat serious issues seriously and usually treat little issues like they're the end of the world, mostly because life's more fun that way. I could care less for things like politics, world affairs, or other people's problems in general. When I'm pissed I get uncharacteristically quiet and solemn, so much so I scare even myself. And when I'm sad? Well....you'd never be able to tell.
care to hear my story?
I'm an orphan. My birth parents died in a terrorist bombing of the hospital they worked at while I was at school, when I was seven. After that my godparents took me in. They're nice people, and I can tell they "love" me and all, but...We have really different ideals. I'm carefree and fun, and they act like someone shoved a yardstick up their....okay, okay, I'll keep it PG. They're both super strict university professors, and as soon as I was put into their custody they mapped out my whole future for me. I want to be an author - not exactly on their little schedule. For the next ten years of my life I was in a constant struggle to pursue my dream, and every roadblock was stamped with my godparent's stern faces. Recently, we got into a colossal fight, and we both said some stuff we shouldn't have. That resulted in me going to this stupid boarding school. They think it will teach me to depend on myself, and learn about the real world, become more disciplined, and all that crap. Yea right!
αbilities? Yeah, I have . . .
the ability to bring things to life out of my notebook. Basically, if I write about something and give a short description, it will pop out. The creations don't last long on their own. The bigger the creation, the less it lasts. And all of them evaporate as soon as I close the book, a little trick I learned over time. I can make animals, food, objects, and everythings tangible and interactive and all that. But I could never make people, no matter how I tried. And I can never make anything too big, like a skyscraper or a jet plane, and even if I did it would only last a few seconds.
I aםore. . .
○ Writing.
○ People. They're infathomably amusing.
○ Music - although I have the musical skill of a donkey, it's still nice to listen to it.
○ The outdoors. I have ADHD and I'm claustrophobic, so I can't stand being in an enclose space for long.
єveryone of these drive me mad. . .
○ Small spaces.
○ Boarding Schools.
○ Testosterone-filled jocks on a constant steriodal high. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
○ Rain.
мy House, Dorm, and Homeroom are. . .
House: Don't have one yet.
Dorm: Don't got one o' those, either.
Homeroom: Math and Science. Bleh.
чou see, I'm controlled by . . .
Irrelevant Nonsense
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 7:26 pm
[align=center] [color=#E7A1B0]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=#E7A1B0]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=#E7A1B0]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=#E7A1B0]▄[/color][b][i][size=18][color=#3BB9FF] Ulysess White [/color][/size][/i][/b][color=#E7A1B0]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=#E7A1B0]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=#E7A1B0]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=#E7A1B0]▄[/color]
[color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color]
[IMG]http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb478/OokamiNoTamashi/Anime Guys/Luki.jpg[/IMG]
[color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color][color=silver]▄[/color][color=#150517]▀[/color]
[color=#150517][size=9][b][i]"Can you repeat that? I wasn't listening. Oh wait! I never am."[/i][/b][/size][/color]
[color=#150517][size=9]Text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text.[/size][/color]
[i][b][size=9][color=#150517]"Aw, did I offend you? Eh. You probably deserved it."[/color][/size][/b][/i] [/align] ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄ Ulysess White ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀"Can you repeat that? I wasn't listening. Oh wait! I never am."Text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text."Aw, did I offend you? Eh. You probably deserved it."
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Rukia Arisawa Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 7:33 pm
Goodness, ladies~
Let's all calm down with the cetacea name-calling. Math teachers never recognize geniuses anyway, Irrelevant xD
It's quite alright, no harm done. I can see how it would all fit together into the whole "super assassin" and spy category; she just had a little too much. C: It's much better now, thank you very much.
I'll take the "training in some forms of martial arts" and "acrobatics and stealth", and "training in weapons handling" as two things, just be sure to keep it reasonable~ Also, what happens when her eyepatch is removed? If there's no sight impediment, then why does she wear it? (Other than adding 2000+ in cool looks) Lastly, how did she get heightened senses- part of the brainwashing, or a side experiment?
Otherwise it's all good; I'll approve her once you make the edits and find her a dorm asap! I liked her backstory- it was interesting and I enjoyed the way you presented it.
Thank you~
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Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2012 6:52 pm
Thank you! I've been wanting to use that storyline for a while, it was hidden away in my stash of stories ^.^
I'll add in the explanation for the heightened senses - it actually was another experiment her parents had used her as a guinea pig for. And the eyepatch her parents set up as another part of the brainwashing, like a self-destruct system if things go wrong. She would go into a "rage" and start attacking anyone around her and, when the perimeter was clear, exterminate herself as well. Of course, I never actually intended for that to happen in the roleplay, and if the eyepatch was taken off I would make sure that nobody was harmed/injured, pulling something out like a fault in her programming or her brother suddenly appears and "deactivates" her. Is it too overpowered? I could take it out if needed.
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Rukia Arisawa Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2012 10:00 pm
I'm sorry for the late response! o.o;;
I've been talking to a fellow Crew, and I have several things to say. Some of it may be repeat, but I tried to cover all bases.
Please forgive the bullet points, I thought it would be less tiresome to read in this format.
○ How self aware is Archimedes really? Her biography lends me to think that she is nothing but a mindless drone who can't do anything without her handler. Her personality section, however, makes me think there's more to her.
○ The incident in which her training stuck, and she is now only a mindless slave to orders and handler. Heracles is not in the Academy, so Archimedes cannot do anything but follow his last order, "Attend Fuyu Academy classes and associate with other children in your age group until your high school education is over."? If so, she can't kill or attack anyone because he hasn't told her to?
○ What would happen if she were to be in danger? Unless Heracles is constantly watching her, how would he know, and be able to activate her self defense or attack modes? Or, is that the point of it all, meaning despite the fact she is almost the perfect weapon, her lack of self and motivations without orders renders her near completely helpless?
○ Abilities.
Training in *all* forms of martial arts is rather excessive, how would she time to learn so much on top of everything else in only sixteen years? Weapons training is perfectly find, as long as she isn't skilled in the use of all weapons. For example, "she scooped up the foreign strip of metal attached to a handle, and began to wield the urumi with the skill of a master".
- Hypersensitive senses. Because she can see, hear, feel, smell, and taste everything at such a level, all the time makes her practically invincible. Her opponent makes a move, she sees it, and counters - game over. She's following someone, or someone is following her, she can hear it, feel the vibrations of their footsteps, smell their scent, taste it in the air. Thus, she could never be tracked, and never fail in tracking. The addition of such a gift almost seems unnecessary, given her talents in other fields. Truly, they make her completely untouchable.
- The eyepatch. This seems rather conflicting to me. It's the ultimate 'release' of energy and ability, but it's also a self-destruct program. I can see how it would be the ultimate kill mode - rather like in an anime when the character unlocks a special ability and gets faster, knocking out their enemies with increased accuracy, etc., etc. But, how would that relate to a self destruct having to do with it, or being necessary? The CIA gets wind of Archimedes, and don't like it, so they come after her? At which point, Heracles instructs her to remove the eyepatch, enabling her to finish the job and then end herself, so the CIA can never learn the full extent of her abilities / learn who she was / blame someone for creating her / take possession of her and either eliminate her or use her for their own purposes?
- Intelligence. Archimedes has spent her entire life learning how to kill. How to efficiently find and eliminate her victim, be it with a weapon or physical skill. As a result of this, coupled with the brainwashing, how scholastically intelligent is she? Clearly she has great smarts in several fields, but what about "normal" stuff, like history, science, literature, etc., that wouldn't have anything to do with being an assassin for the CIA?
To include them all; training in acrobatics, training in stealth, photographic memory. Really, it isn't any one of these skills that makes her a bit over-powered, it's the combination of them all, and the additional hypersensitive senses that made me realize what a perfect, flawless assassin she is. (As I'm sure you planned her to be!) Literally, there's nothing she can' do. She's a deadly, efficient, one-girl army with no weaknesses, humanly, ethically/morally, physically, in know-how, and skill.
○ Her personality. As I said before, most of the time she appears to be a robot, incapable of doing anything other than what she is told. However, at some points it feels as that she is not necessarily incapable, but unwilling. Is this the result of her special training that stuck; that she is robotic is most senses, but deep down still contains a thread of personality that governs some of her actions, or the way she speaks? She [Archimedes] says she is very dangerous when angered, that her violent tendencies may take ahold of her. Is this because she is sensitive or does not like being picked on or talked to in such a manner, or because she sees them as a threat to her work?
" To quote, "weird, quiet, and scary." The person who said this did not know I was listening - otherwise I assume their opinion would be influenced by fear or common courtesy. "
This here suggests she was eavesdropping on someone. That was...an order? I may very well be imagining it, but the tone sounds slightly resentful, even though in the next sentence that she doesn't mind what people think of her? She also knows people fear her, so does she comprehend *exactly* what she "is"? (As in, a CIA sleeper agent trained from birth by parents that never truly cared for her, and manipulated her to their wills)
○ Likes / Dislikes.
- Likes: She is "not authorized" to adore, yet it seems like she does despite that - "I enjoy my work and only my work. I "adore" my handler, and only my handler." Is she not supposed to do so, but does anyway? She finds satisfaction in her work? And, she bares some fondness for her handler, her elder brother Heracles? This also goes back to what I said before, about her personality, and how it plays in with her brainwashing ( whether some things she does not do because she only obeys orders, chooses not to do them, or is simply physically / humanly incapable)
- Dislikes: She dislikes interference in her work. Because it just that, interference in the mission/task, or because she is very focused, and distractions are a nuisance? Doesn't like people trying to understand/learn about her - endangers confidentiality, or prefers to keep to herself (or something the like)? She dislikes people who mock others: why? Lastly, she doesn't like it when people mess with her handler/brother. Because he is vital to her ability to carry out a mission, or because of any affection she harbors for him (as in the 'Likes').
○ Her brother. Does Archimedes actually know Heracles is related to her, or is just "Handler" to her? If she doesn't know, what would happen if she were told? And how in the world did Archimedes react to Heracles "taking possession" of her, and trying to break the brainwashing? Surely that must have been peculiar, and perhaps confusing. Since she went under Heracles's guardianship, she had no qualms about the deaths of her previous handlers/parents? Will he ever be his own character, or is he just meant to be that "presence"?
○ The "human givens". Presumably she still needs to eat, sleep, etc., like normal humans? Does she, (or should she) eat or sleep a lot as a result of using such abilities? If she is given particularly long order which pushes her beyond her physical limits, will she keep going until she's done, even if it kills or severely injures/weakens her? How long can she go?
I hope that you don't see this crazy-ginormous thing as an insult. Honest, it's not meant that way at all! I wrote this because I think you have a really good character going here, and that I think you have potential to really bring Archimedes out! Only thing I thought was that she lacked "the next step" in thinking - there is a gap that separates the parts of the character, and keeps them from becoming the great character she can be, and I think you wrote her as. C :
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Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2012 2:23 pm
Lol, when I saw the size of your post my eyes nearly popped out of my head. Don't mean that as an insult, but my ADHD allows only so much concentration, and it took me about a half hour to read that. Now let meh begin answering questions....
Archimedes's Self Awareness - I intended to hint that Archimedes does have some sort of will when it comes to situations not involving her handler or "moral" decisions, but it seems I forgot it. Such as, a stranger comes up to you and talks to you on the street, what do you do, and things like that. Part of the brainwashing was how to deal with civilian matters like this, and basically before doing anything that wasn't covered in her orders she asks herself "What would my handler do/order me to do". And if she has freetime and there are no current decisions to make, Archimedes will do something she considers to benefit her work or further her usefullness to her handler, like training, reading, or studying.
The Last Order/Archimedes's Self Defense - You're right, the last order was kind of ambiguous. As stated before, Archimedes has a glimmer of self awareness, so when it comes to interactions outside the handler's last order she just follows the same principal. When it comes to fighting, when the question "What would my handler do/order me to do" is applied to Heracles he would want Archimedes to fight as little as possible, so most unauthorized conflict would be avoided. However, if the opponent requested a fight or attacked first, Archimedes would have to oblige. Self-defense is not a seperate order or code, it's part of Archimedes's programming, so when she's attacked, she attacks back, regardless of the situation or what her handler would order her to do.
Martial Arts and Weapons Handling - You're right, all forms is a little excessive, I'll push it back a bit. And when I say weapons handling, I don't mean ALL forms of weapons handling. I'm sorry if it looked like that, I'll space it a little better.
Hypersensitive Senses - I saw other RP-ers with characters like vampires/werewolves that had the same thing, so I thought it would be okay, but you're right, with her other abilities it does make her seem "untouchable". That used to be a "no bargain" point for me, but looking back on the character now I'm willing to take it out.
Eye Patch - Remind yourself that the CIA are the ones who created her, so they know the full extent of her abilities and who she is. The fact is that they are looking for her, so if they find her they would abduct her, not destroy her. And I don't mean to be rude to him (although he doesn't exist XD) but Heracles has a bit of a sister complex, so he would never activate her self destruct. It was originally part of her brainwashing - if any of the sleeper agents were caught in combat they were told to take off the eyepatch, thus killing their captors and themselves to seal any information. But now that I think about it...you're right, that makes no sense! If they were dead, there would be no need to kill their captors, and if their captors were dead there would be no need to kill themselves. Oops, I made a funny sweatdrop How about it's just a release of power?
Intelligence - Remember, Archimedes is a SLEEPER agent. This means that she was only a killing machine when her handlers spoke the code word. Until the time frame ended by accident, she was also a normal child who went to school just like everybody else! The time frame ended when she was in her first year of highschool - when she was fourteen - so she has all the basic preschool through eighth grade knowledge. And as part of the brainwashing she was given information about world cultures, customs, and languages, since most of her opperations were foreign espionage. She was also given information about things like chemistry/biology/physics/anatomy that could be used in her assasinations that involved bombs or poisons, but since I took out the explosives training I suppose I could take out the knowledge of chemistry/physics. But as for things like literature that had nothing to do with her killings, she only has the basic school knowledge. Is this alright, or should I tone it down a bit?
Archimedes's Personality - I intended for Archimedes to be an emotionless machine, but it seems I may have gotten carried away with more of a "short-tempered, quiet killer" type. Kind of like....Altaïr ibn La-Ahad from the Assassin's Creed game. He hardly talks, but when he does his words are honest and meaningul, and if you piss him off he's not afraid to stick a knife in your forehead. Archimedes is restrained to follow her handler's orders, so she is practically unable to have an opinion about the situation. The only real "feeling" she has is loyalty, which completely encompasses everything else. The reason she says she is easily angered is because she is entirely loyal to her job and handler, and if she thinks that anyone is interfering with her job or her handler she will snap and become threatening. So yes, when she says her violent tendencies may take hold of her, she is reffering to when something is seen as an obstruction/threat to her job. As for the quote, since she is always aware of her surroundings, she accidentally heard this - a sort of unintentional eavesdropping. She does comprehend her situation, that she is a CIA agent, but she never really thought of her parents as parents, just her handlers. She treated them like she would treat a boss, and was thus mostly uneffected by their death and didn't think that what they had been doing to her was "wrong" - just "orders". Sort of how when your boss at work gives you a job to do - if the job is killing, what difference does it make? It's still a job - at least, it is to Archimedes.
And gaaaah, you're too smart! I can't hide anything from you :C
It's not just you, there ARE intentional glimmers of personality in Archimedes. There is a hint of resentment in the sentence where she describes herself as scary, and she does have a bit of a short temper as a person, not as a slave. I was going to make it part of the roleplay - when she starts to hang around normal children, more of her emotions start showing and she gradually overcomes her programming to become somewhat of a normal kid and obtains her own free will.
Likes - Archimedes does know the relationship between her and Heracles beyond the handler/agent relationship, but as I said before, she looks upon handlers as bosses and nothing more. But the tiny hint of the GIRL Archimedes, not the agent, does love her brother very much. What she means by "not authorized" to means that she is not supposed to grow affectionate for things not related to work. Suppose you grew a love for dogs, and the next day your boss told you to kill one? That sort of thing.
Dislikes - She dislikes interferences in her work because that is what they are, interferences with her work. She is also very focused and task oriented, but she dislikes the interferences because they hinder her progress and part of her brainwashing is to finish the task as quickly and efficiently as possible. She doesn't like when people try to learn about her because it endangers the mission/confidentiality, as you said. And I should probably take out "people who mock others" - it doesn't fit in with the rest of her story and her personality. I just wanted to add a tiny smidge of righteousness to her character, but I can see that it wouldn't really fit now. And about disliking when people mess with her handler - the GIRL Archimedes does love her brother, so this also coincides with that, but mostly it is because he is her handler and she is supposed to protect his physical and mental well being.
Heracles - As stated before, yes, she knows Heracles is her brother, but in her current mindset this doesn't matter - he is the Handler. Even if her handler wasn't her brother she would have to do whatever they said, and him being her Handler doesn't make this better or worse for her. As I've mentioned, Archimedes is extremely loyal, but the one fault in that loyalty is how fickle it is. Once Handler's are switched, there is no affection or feelings for the other Handler, as if the memory of their interaction is gone. Of course, it isn't, but the agent will no longer take orders from them and if were asked to would respond the same way as if a stranger had asked it. When Heracles was trying to break the brainwashing she didn't question his actions, since agents are told not to ask questions about the actions of their handlers. That, added to the all encompassing loyalty she holds for him, and she basically trusts every single thing he does. About missing her parents - she didn't, because as said before, at that point they were only her handlers and she had no affection for them. As for making Heracles a character...I don't know yet. I was planning on eventually bringing him into the roleplay, like if he were visiting Archimedes or checking up on her, but if the need doesn't arise or I just don't feel like it he'll probably just end up as a piece of her history.
Human Needs - Archimedes, like any other human, has to do all the normal human needs as well. And since food and rest is what fuels her, Archimedes will eat and sleep in regular intervels so her fatigue/hunger doesn't interfere with her work. Like any professional, she knows that the worst thing she can do to effect her mission is to not take care of herself - agents are trained to trust in their handlers, but also in themselves, and if her body was weak how would she be able to? And yes, she eats and sleeps longer than normal humans, but only as much as any other her age with her level of daily physical activity would. And if she is told to do something she will do it, no matter the consequences. She'd drive herself to the brink of death if it was required to finish her orders. And as for how long she can go, she can only go as long as her body could handle - so, about 72 hours (the average ammount a human can go without sleep).
Hope I answered everything! PHEW!
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Rukia Arisawa Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2012 10:39 pm
No, no, not at all! I have a tendency to over-analyze and brick things a bit. I'm sorry! sweatdrop
Thank you for so much clarification, it all sounds great. (I'll be brief here, no need to write in that length again!)
It really should have been a given that Archimedes attended regular school until the incident, but I didn't think of it that way! Your explanations of 'handlers', Heracles, likes/dislikes, and more about her programming cleared up a lot, as well. As for the eye patch, a release of power is fine. c: The hypersensitivity; I think it would be best removed.
Now, if you could just integrate the information into her profile, I'll happily approve Archimedes and get her a dorm!
Thank you very much! C :
Oh, also: Would you like me to read & go through the approval process for Ulysses as well, or would you like me to get you someone less brick-inclined?
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Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 4:56 am
I'll get working on that right away!
And you can approve him if you want, I dont mind either way. Although I doubt you would want to spend any longer on my profile after all the work with Archimedes sweatdrop
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