Welcome to Gaia! ::

Nagi let out a breath. He knew this was coming but there was still nothing in the world that could prepare him for it. The pulse I his chest sped up as he dove within himself for the answer.

“I’m sure you remember the time when Buru had broken into the Seireitei and took you away from us before our very eyes.” He stated, “The Captain General did not want me to go on the rescue mission but I disobeyed his orders and went anyway. It wasn’t fair that you got involved because of me. I’m not sure why, but I felt that this had all happened to me before and it infuriated me. I was terrified of losing you. Then there was him…”

Nagi’s blue eyes stared coldly at his hands at this point. This recap of events made something stir inside him that made him feel slightly uncomfortable. Was it remorse? He stared for a moment only to realize that his hands were shaking.

“Buru used to be a friend, then a captain, then an enemy.” Now his voice was shaking, much to his embarrassment, but the words kept coming. “He had a darkness inside him that he couldn’t escape from and I failed to realize it until it was too late. I know I killed him in cold blood. I was no different than he was at that point because in the moment, I enjoyed it. My perception had changed since that day. Everyone was so focused on fighting and violent means, and it was drawing me in as well and it scared me even more. All I could think about was turning into him and hurting you. It wasn’t until an arrancar broke my Zanpakuto that I came to a realization that there was a way for me to exist in peace. It was like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. I suppose I had also forgotten myself in the process; my purpose for being in Soul Society. I am aware that the job of a shinigami is not easy, especially one for rank, but I don’t think it’s the life for me. No more killing...”

Up to this point, he realized that the cause of his quivering frame was not due to fear, but to a bit of anger and frustration at himself. Sure, it was all okay if all this was just locked away and forgotten but letting it out was a whole different monster he now stood up against. The whole thing sounded a lot different in his head where it made sense to him but now he was beginning to question his own logic. This was just the outer layer concealing the real truth- his failure to take responsibility.

Pausing to exhale, he looked up to meet Yuki’s eyes. He now wore a smile, but a sad one.

“It’s cowardly… I know.” He admitted, still rolling with the word vomit emitting from his mouth. In the least, he figured it would be best to just let the layers peel away bit by bit. “I assumed that everyone would forget about me and move on. That was a mistake considering it was a selfish way of thinking. At the time, I didn’t know how to tell you let alone say goodbye.”

At this point, he was prepared for the lashing that awaited him. He was used to the pain of guilt. However, he'd never forget the horrible feeling, the worst pain he had ever felt, when he used his Bankai against his old friend. How lonely and tragic of a man Buru had been.
No more killing...

Nagi wasn’t at all surprised to be struck after his final words. She was obviously furious with him, yet the handprint on his cheek wasn’t as red as it should have been. This was very much like her- using false anger as her way of showing sadness or pity. He didn’t blame her in the least for this. In fact, he felt as though she should have hit him harder. However, it was enough to bring him to his senses a little more. His hands were no longer shaking and the throbbing in his chest subsided.

He could sense that she was determined to avoid him now and for some reason he found this to be a challenge and it made him feel slightly stronger inside.

“I didn’t want you to abandon your life.” He admitted with a confident tone. As he said this, his rigid frame relaxed a bit. “You had a good life with no reason to leave it behind. So many depended upon you, admired you, and your power was comparable to none. You were the strength of the Gotai 13 in leadership and vigor. If they lost you, they’d fall apart and lose their way. I didn’t want that to occur on the count of my betrayal. To be a deserter is to be a traitor. It is a life of hiding and solitude. This wasn’t the life for you and you don’t deserve it.”

At this point, he didn’t care if she refused to look at him or even pay attention to what he said. Bringing an arm around her shoulders, he pulled her closer to him and rested his head lightly on hers. How he missed embracing another like this. Especially her. In all his years of living in the land of the living, not a single girl caught his attention nor did he pay any heed to shallow woman who suggested the idea of being together for just a night. This was mostly due to the lack of interest. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Yuki was always the only woman for him and that was never going to change. Even if he didn’t think he’d ever see her again.

“Please, understand that I had no intention of putting you through this.” He said in a quiet tone. “I was a fool to not think that far ahead. If I was certain that you’d spend so much time trying to find me I wouldn’t have left. I would have rather of faced the captain general and accepted my punishment than to pain you.”

Feeling Yuki’s anger fleeting, Nagi felt the utmost relaxation and bliss he hadn’t felt in a long time. When she leaned into him, he took the heat of her touch, her small frame, and the scent of her hair. Although they were technically sitting on two plains of existence, he in a physical body and her not so much, the memories of their time together made this moment all too real. After all these years it still amazed him that such riatsu existed in such a physically fragile looking person- A riatsu that would probably turn the tea house into rubbles in the blink of an eye. He entertained the interesting thought- a mushroom cloud resulting in a crater ten blocks wide. Then there was all those times she handed his a** to him and yet they always ended up like this in the end. How wonderful nostalgia was.

She then asked the question.

Cue mushroom cloud.

His eyes flickered open and his tongue immediately retreated to the back of his mouth. He sat quietly for a moment, trying desperately to comprehend the idea of returning to Soul Society- the life he abandoned. She had called it “home”, which struck him harder than he could imagine. He had no idea how to answer her in a way she would immediately understand.

Perhaps the whole situation played out much worse in his head, but he still didn’t know for sure. He had made a life here; a peaceful, relaxed existence with no fighting, paperwork, or the risk of taking lives. Then again, a life with Yuki was any life worth living. He had always known of the differences between them yet it always worked out so well. She was fire, he was ice. She melted away his coldness, and he cooled down her rage. It only made sense to him that they were together… forever. He stood there at a cross-road now and both ways looked very appealing to him. The scales of importance were balanced.

Was it possible to have both?

It was at that moment that a thought occurred to him.
“Before I answer your question…” he said, “I want to know how you're doing and what happened after I left.”

Nagi smiled. “Stubborn as always I see.”

He took the playful gesture as a sign of relief. How she ever put up with him was still a mystery. He entertained the thought of playing stubborn: to say “Nope, answer my question first or no candy for you…” But he didn’t want to chance pushing her buttons too much. He actually enjoyed the talking. It had been so long since he had another to have a real conversation with let alone saying what was on his mind. The odd part was, this interaction was bringing fourth an ability he had forgotten about for a long time. It was faint, but he could almost detect Yuki’s emotions emitting from her riatsu. It was a mixture of happiness and irritation, which was quite the odd combination but was also something she had been famous for- mixing completely opposite emotions into one. This was one of the things he had loved her for the most. Sensing this from her was like a breath of fresh air. This made him give in.

“The reason why I asked was because I wanted to know how hard it was for you.” He admitted, pulling her in closer, almost onto his lap. “I am more concerned about what you want to do because I don’t want to be selfish as to make this whole thing about me. I am already ashamed of the fact I never considered your feelings back then. But to answer your question I can say that I have no intention about returning back to Soul Society. I didn’t have much of a human life to begin with when I was alive, and now that I’m here, I can experience it all over again and actually remember this time. The idea of “home” is different to us. I would ask you to stay with me but I don’t want you to say yes if you wouldn’t be happy here. I want to know how you felt about it in all the time you were here looking for me. That and how much you missed Soul Society, or how much it missed you. I don’t even know if you were content there either.”

He let out a small laugh as an idea struck him. It was so genius that even he surprised himself for coming up with it. There was a way for a shinigami and a human to co-exist.
“Do you… want to stay in Soul Society?” he asked in a smooth tone, almost teasing.

His smile widening, Nagi was glad and also pleasantly surprised to get a direct answer. Then again, he would have deserved it if she didn’t, considering he was famous for avoiding such things. He found her stubbornness often to be cute but he loved her direct nature just as much. She’d either be one, or the other. He knew better than to expect anything when it came to her actions. She was so unpredictable that it was delightfully frustrating.

He had been so nervous and excited to see her again that he realized that perhaps he was talking a little too much. He decided to watch himself so he didn’t end up saying something stupid. Given his track record, it was bound to happen.

“Sorry, I should have waited to ask you that.” He chuckled.

Figuring it was safe for just a little while, Nagi used a free hand to remove something tiny from his pocket and put it into his mouth. Upon swallowing, there was a flash and the physical body was thrown backward, slumped unto the tetami like a murder victim. The lap that Yuki now sat upon was that of a man in black Saifuku. It was similar to the old shihaksho he used to wear in his days as a shinigami; however, the sleeves were wider and longer with broad white cord stitched around the hem. The outer coat (referred to as an "on-sai-i”) was longer and wasn’t tucked into his hakuma like it used to be. Since this was the first time in a long while Nagi reverted back to his spiritual form, he took no notice to the changes.

Instead, he held Yuki a little tighter with his left arm.

“I would like to hear your story.” He said, knowing they didn’t have much time left. Certainly Babba would come looking for him. The thought of her finding his and Yuki’s old lady gigai lying on the floor as if it were a joint suicide amused him a bit. “But you’re right, I can wait a little longer.”

He wanted to sit here forever and not let her go for an instant. Then again, he had the evening to look forward to if she planned on sticking around that long. Something told him that she might.

…My apartment is a mess though. he thought to himself, a little embarrassed.

Hearing that Yuki had been the Captain General for a time made Nagi almost want to laugh. His punishment for abandoning the Soul Society would have been interesting nonetheless. The fear he held for it was certainly reasonable. All the while, he was sad to hear that he wasn’t able to see Yuki at the height of her leadership. He was incredibly proud of her though from the first day he saw her, he wouldn’t have been surprised at all to see it coming.

But the more she went on, the more his heart sank. The emotion emitting from her was certainly telling most of the story. Such a strong sadness it was. Had he known what she went through he would have returned in a heartbeat, just to be by her side. He would have given up the title of Captain of his division in an instant and become her Lieutenant if he had to. It was difficult for him to imagine her being alone. There were many shinigami who supported and befriended her but by the sound of things, they had abandoned her too.

As he listened to more, he began to notice that behind her feeling of sadness there was something else. It was a familiar feeling that he knew all too well. For reasons he did not yet understand, she was guilty for something. This was what was hurting her so. As much as he wanted to inquire about it, he decided not to say anything as of yet. Nagi was a person of patience. Right now wasn’t the time.

Now it was all in the past. There was nothing he could do to fix it now. It was always his wish to unmake time and manipulate the series of events that led up to now, but such a feat was impossible. There was one thing he had going for her and himself and that was the future. He was never going to abandon her again. Never again was he going to have regrets.

“To take on so much responsibility alone must have been hard on you.” He sighed. He didn’t want to apologize but it only felt right to. “I’m so sorry.”

After saying this, he leaned down and gently kissed her forehead. “I will never leave you again. You have my word.”

Here it was. The perfect moment, just the two of them, lips locked in long awaited passion, and then it happened- their moment of bliss shattered into a hundred pieces from the decibels of Babba’s shrieking.

Nagi, terrified out of his wits, almost jumped up but remembered that Yuki was still on his lap and managed to quickly gain control of himself. The results would have been pretty unfortunate. Instead, he held onto her tightly as he stood up, helping her to her feet as well. His heart was still pounding. In fact it was attempting to beat its way out of his ribcage and stuff itself into Babba’s mouth to silence her. He knew they were busted. How was he going to explain to her what she saw? Then again, she didn't see EVERYTHING. It had been so long that Nagi was in his spirit form that he forgot that normal people couldn't see them. So he only had half the explaining to do.

His mind still racing, he glanced back at Yuki, leaned down, and gave her a quick kiss before saying “It was worth it anyway.” He jumped backward, landing back into his Gigai like it were some feathery bed. If only it were, that is. The landing had been a little hard, as his gagai jerked somewhat violently as his soul re-entered it.

Looking as though he had woken up from a violent sleep, Nagi sat up and looked at Babba with wide eyes.
“Wow. I am so sorry!” He exclaimed apologetically, holding his hand to his head. He hated to lie but there was no other way. “I must have added too much passion flower to this tea and fell asleep!”

He was internally thanking himself for his knowledge in tea making. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have had a single clue what to say. Lying would usually put him in jitters but the moment with Yuki made him completely relaxed.

Then again, he may as well go upstairs, get his things, and go somewhere else by the way Babba was glaring daggers at him.

“Is she dead?” the woman said bluntly while pointing at Yuki’s gigai. “You add too much, kill older woman!”