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 Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 8:24 pm
Esiris RosesandBlood For simply talking to me like everyone else? You'd be amazed at how a casual conversation can be presented as a predatory behavior before a judge. Wow... That's insane.
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 8:26 pm
To be honest- given the age gap and this post, it's not really that far fetched. While they don't punish thoughts- they can use stuff to establish a clear pattern of behavior.
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 8:27 pm
RosesandBlood Thanks... Though some of it was hard to hear... I can understand your points of view. We live 2hrs from each other so we only text. It's just chit-chat like 'how are you? Your day been good?' and such. I refer to her as my 'sweetheart' not lover of girlfriend and have every intention of letting her grow up on her own pace, just being there for her. She is seriously counting the days until we can meet up at Con again. Lol But not I'm not out of my mind. And YES I am really waiting for her to turn 18 before becoming romantically involved with her. The age of consent is 16 as long as her mother knows. (her parents are divorced, dad has no rights other than visitation). Her mother does know. If she changes her mind at all, so be it. I won't hold her back at all. It was her choice to start our so said 'relationship', so it will be her choice if she wants it in the end. To be very honest, I see why the law is what it is (because there do exist creepos in this world) but I also believe that deep feelings can transcend major age differences. That being said, I think your situation is quite delicate, but if you have every intention of continuing on, I stick to my first set of advice. ALWAYS make sure her mother is aware of every part of the relationship until she reaches consenting age (which is funny. "Consenting age" makes it sound like they magically realize what they REALLy want after the y turn 16 or like they never knew before hand). Always make sure the mother likes you and that you do nothing, nothing (can't stress this enough) to get on her bad side. As for the father, depending on wether he truly cares for his child, which he probably does, try to stay as far away from him as possible, lol.
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 8:37 pm
kuro-darkling RosesandBlood Thanks... Though some of it was hard to hear... I can understand your points of view. We live 2hrs from each other so we only text. It's just chit-chat like 'how are you? Your day been good?' and such. I refer to her as my 'sweetheart' not lover of girlfriend and have every intention of letting her grow up on her own pace, just being there for her. She is seriously counting the days until we can meet up at Con again. Lol But not I'm not out of my mind. And YES I am really waiting for her to turn 18 before becoming romantically involved with her. The age of consent is 16 as long as her mother knows. (her parents are divorced, dad has no rights other than visitation). Her mother does know. If she changes her mind at all, so be it. I won't hold her back at all. It was her choice to start our so said 'relationship', so it will be her choice if she wants it in the end. To be very honest, I see why the law is what it is (because there do exist creepos in this world) but I also believe that deep feelings can transcend major age differences. That being said, I think your situation is quite delicate, but if you have every intention of continuing on, I stick to my first set of advice. ALWAYS make sure her mother is aware of every part of the relationship until she reaches consenting age (which is funny. "Consenting age" makes it sound like they magically realize what they REALLy want after the y turn 16 or like they never knew before hand). Always make sure the mother likes you and that you do nothing, nothing (can't stress this enough) to get on her bad side. As for the father, depending on wether he truly cares for his child, which he probably does, try to stay as far away from him as possible, lol. I will take your advice to heart I promise. I want to go and see her so I can also get to know her mother. I don't want to 'date' her daughter at the moment, I only hope that she will wait for me until we can. I'm more than willing to be a responsible adult here and not to anything until it's legal. I just want the chance. And I will not do anything. This I can promise.
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 8:39 pm
Esiris To be honest- given the age gap and this post, it's not really that far fetched. While they don't punish thoughts- they can use stuff to establish a clear pattern of behavior. I don't have a pattern... I don't even have a type. Lol But I can promise I'm not, nor will I, indulge in illegal activities other than speaking with her. And the occasional hug (everyone hugs you at Anime Conventions)
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 8:50 pm
Esiris RosesandBlood For simply talking to me like everyone else? You'd be amazed at how a casual conversation can be presented as a predatory behavior before a judge. Everything you are saying is pretty much over-exaggerated. As long as they aren't sexting, or romantically involved, they will be fine. It's like a 21 year old friend huggin a 13 year old friend, or texting one. That isn't illegal, is it? Like I said, it's fine as they aren't seriously romantically involved.
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 8:55 pm
I Earthbound-Chan I Everything you are saying is pretty much over-exaggerated. I've seen what happens when someone turns a casual, though age inappropriate, relationship into something it isn't. It depends on the judge, and what is said, and how upset the parents are- but it's still a huge risk and can get someone a lvl. 3 Sex offender status. Something as innocent as driving a kid to the theater so they don't have to walk can be twisted- and compound that with the fact that they're talking about having a lesbian relationship and it will only take one homophobe to over hear and their life is down the toilet. Innocent or not.
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 8:58 pm
Esiris I Earthbound-Chan I Everything you are saying is pretty much over-exaggerated. I've seen what happens when someone turns a casual, though age inappropriate, relationship into something it isn't. It depends on the judge, and what is said, and how upset the parents are- but it's still a huge risk and can get someone a lvl. 3 Sex offender status. Something as innocent as driving a kid to the theater so they don't have to walk can be twisted- and compound that with the fact that they're talking about having a lesbian relationship and it will only take one homophobe to over hear and their life is down the toilet. Innocent or not. I Earthbound-Chan I Esiris RosesandBlood For simply talking to me like everyone else? You'd be amazed at how a casual conversation can be presented as a predatory behavior before a judge. Everything you are saying is pretty much over-exaggerated. As long as they aren't sexting, or romantically involved, they will be fine. It's like a 21 year old friend huggin a 13 year old friend, or texting one. That isn't illegal, is it? Like I said, it's fine as they aren't seriously romantically involved. I agree she is over-exaggerating a little bit on this. Because her MOTHER knows and is okay with it. As long as I don't do anything sexual I'm sure she will continue to think so. However, Esiris is trying to say that it could happen. And I'm grateful you care enough to warn me.
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 8:59 pm
Esiris I Earthbound-Chan I Everything you are saying is pretty much over-exaggerated. I've seen what happens when someone turns a casual, though age inappropriate, relationship into something it isn't. It depends on the judge, and what is said, and how upset the parents are- but it's still a huge risk and can get someone a lvl. 3 Sex offender status. Something as innocent as driving a kid to the theater so they don't have to walk can be twisted- and compound that with the fact that they're talking about having a lesbian relationship and it will only take one homophobe to over hear and their life is down the toilet. Innocent or not. Well, no not friving someone to a movie theater that is comletley untrue. Maybe you had a bad experience or something, but if it's as innocent as they have now, they will NOT be taken to court. The girl's mother is obviously not going to court with it, and honestly, since nothing is really happening between them, they WON'T go to court.
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 9:14 pm
I Earthbound-Chan I Well, no not friving someone to a movie theater that is comletley untrue. Maybe you had a bad experience or something, but if it's as innocent as they have now, they will NOT be taken to court. The girl's mother is obviously not going to court with it, and honestly, since nothing is really happening between them, they WON'T go to court. That's really bad advice- since they can be taken to court over the relationship. At the very least, if the kid has a bad day and acts out and even mentions her "crush", the parents can start to feel like there is custodial interference. I mean- do you have the law degree or the court commentary on these kinds of things or are you just posting your opinion? Things a lot less risky than a 21 year old developing a romantic relationship with a 13 year old can land people in jail. And for all the talk about how it isn't a romantic relationship- between the first post and other things- like the 13 year old asking for the relationship and the 21 year old not saying "Hell no. Date someone your own age!" it becomes a really incriminating thing- like I said, Homophobia + She-said/She-said can easily = jail time. Believing that kind of thing can't happen takes some serious risks.
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 9:24 pm
Esiris I Earthbound-Chan I Well, no not friving someone to a movie theater that is comletley untrue. Maybe you had a bad experience or something, but if it's as innocent as they have now, they will NOT be taken to court. The girl's mother is obviously not going to court with it, and honestly, since nothing is really happening between them, they WON'T go to court. That's really bad advice- since they can be taken to court over the relationship. At the very least, if the kid has a bad day and acts out and even mentions her "crush", the parents can start to feel like there is custodial interference. I mean- do you have the law degree or the court commentary on these kinds of things or are you just posting your opinion? Things a lot less risky than a 21 year old developing a romantic relationship with a 13 year old can land people in jail. And for all the talk about how it isn't a romantic relationship- between the first post and other things- like the 13 year old asking for the relationship and the 21 year old not saying "Hell no. Date someone your own age!" it becomes a really incriminating thing- like I said, Homophobia + She-said/She-said can easily = jail time. Believing that kind of thing can't happen takes some serious risks. It isn't advice, it's fact. As long as it's innocent texting they won't go to court. I'm not saying I don't believe it won't happen. I'm saying that if they don't let out that it's a relationship and keep it innocent, they will be fine. I agree, homophobes can try something but if they don't tell anyone it is a relationship, and they don't sext or have any proof of doing anything romantic, they won't get punished.
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 9:28 pm
I Earthbound-Chan I It isn't advice, it's fact. As long as it's innocent texting they won't go to court. I'm not saying I don't believe it won't happen. I'm saying that if they don't let out that it's a relationship and keep it innocent, they will be fine. I agree, homophobes can try something but if they don't tell anyone it is a relationship, and they don't sext or have any proof of doing anything romantic, they won't get punished. What part of "My partner (because I'm not sure if it would be legal to say girlfriend at this time) is 8 years my junior. This would not be a problem if I weren't only 21 and she 13. It was last spring when we met at and Anime convention in state. Since then she's been pining away for me. This recent November she charmed her way into my heart and I asked if she would consider me a girlfriend. When she said yes we both blushed and hugged. " isn't evidence in a court of law? The OP has clearly called a 13 year old girl her partner- she allowed herself to be considered her girlfriend and she touched her! And she's posted this much on the internet. What do you think the 13 year old has told her friends? What do you think the pining way has consisted of? Yeah- I'm not buying it. This post alone could get someone in deep trouble- and that's with the self-editing for public posting.
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 9:37 pm
Esiris I Earthbound-Chan I It isn't advice, it's fact. As long as it's innocent texting they won't go to court. I'm not saying I don't believe it won't happen. I'm saying that if they don't let out that it's a relationship and keep it innocent, they will be fine. I agree, homophobes can try something but if they don't tell anyone it is a relationship, and they don't sext or have any proof of doing anything romantic, they won't get punished. What part of "My partner (because I'm not sure if it would be legal to say girlfriend at this time) is 8 years my junior. This would not be a problem if I weren't only 21 and she 13. It was last spring when we met at and Anime convention in state. Since then she's been pining away for me. This recent November she charmed her way into my heart and I asked if she would consider me a girlfriend. When she said yes we both blushed and hugged. " isn't evidence in a court of law? The OP has clearly called a 13 year old girl her partner- she allowed herself to be considered her girlfriend and she touched her! And she's posted this much on the internet. What do you think the 13 year old has told her friends? What do you think the pining way has consisted of? Yeah- I'm not buying it. This post alone could get someone in deep trouble- and that's with the self-editing for public posting. Well, yes. If the girl told her friends, and if someone found this post, they could get in trouble. But they won't get in AS MUCH trouble as they would if they did something romantic or sexting. But let's say they decided to just be close friends, they would pretty much partake in the same activites, texting, hugging. They wouldnt get in trouble if they are only friends.
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 9:43 pm
I Earthbound-Chan I Well, yes. If the girl told her friends, and if someone found this post, they could get in trouble. But they won't get in AS MUCH trouble as they would if they did something romantic or sexting. That's all I was saying from the beginning. The bottom line is a 21 year old should stay the hell away from a 13 year old. All it takes is for her "partner" to PMS, act like a b***h, and her mom can screw them both over. Or if her dad finds out- he could toss the OP in jail and use it as evidence as to why he should get custody and not have to pay child support. "You're Honor! My ex-wife let our 13 year old have a relationship with a 21 year old child molester! Here's the texts! Here's the online posts! Here's the description of the beginning of their relationship! And MY EX LET THIS HAPPEN!"
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 9:47 pm
Esiris I Earthbound-Chan I Well, yes. If the girl told her friends, and if someone found this post, they could get in trouble. But they won't get in AS MUCH trouble as they would if they did something romantic or sexting. That's all I was saying from the beginning. The bottom line is a 21 year old should stay the hell away from a 13 year old. All it takes is for her "partner" to PMS, act like a b***h, and her mom can screw them both over. Or if her dad finds out- he could toss the OP in jail and use it as evidence as to why he should get custody and not have to pay child support. "You're Honor! My ex-wife let our 13 year old have a relationship with a 21 year old child molester! Here's the texts! Here's the online posts! Here's the description of the beginning of their relationship! And MY EX LET THIS HAPPEN!" That is all true. I agree that maybe she should the let the kid wait. I dont understand the PMS part, though.
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