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 Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 12:05 am
A large man, who greatly resembled Mr. T, in a green and red leotard stomped up to Julie, slammed one massive fist on her table and raised the other one menacingly before her. <******** POUND IT!" What followed was some sort of complicated handshake which Julie performed like a freaking pro. "YEAAAH! Now I just got to get someone to watch my back. Most of the little Life dudes are are too lost on the path of life to understand my vision. And Clarice, damn. She just doesn't understand my sensitive and artistic soul, b***h is always disrupting my aura and s**t. What I need is dude with some soul." Killzone thought on this for all of ten second before doing an alarming fist pump that would have hit Julie if she didn't already have the reflexes of some kind of kung-fu drunken master. Bilious YO JERRY! GET 2 SNOW COMP b***h!!!!!! WE GONNA WRECK THIS s**t!!!!!! WINNERS GET PROMOTED JERRY! R U A WINNER?????
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 12:20 am
It had been peaceful. Jerry had actually had a good night's sleep for once, and he had been humming all afternoon as he tended to his duties and tidied his room- but that still didn't stop him from jumping the ******** out of his skin when his cellphone beeped with a new message. Another mission? No. Yes? His face paled.
It was from... well he had trouble actually thinking of the man as his therapist but... He cringed and read the message.
Snow Comp?
His face paled for a moment before glancing outside.
Well... well it was the season and he could take playing in the snow... but playing with... Mr- Dr? Mr. Killzone might be the death of him.... but at least that meant he wasn't hiding somewhere ready to strike with a sudden sock-puppet attack... and something about Promotions if they won?
Well, then. It was settled. It was time to go play in the snow.
He put on his most exciting and festive sweater vest, pulled on his gloves with a determined SNAP, grabbed his jacket and hurried out.
By the time he made it to the competition grounds, his humming had degenerated into outright singing, "Iiiiiiii'm dreeeeaming... of a whiiiiiiite Christmaaaaaas! Just like the ones we used to- Er... H-hi, Sir! I'm er... here! Er... you ah... needed me?" All the Joy in Christmas couldn't stifle the terror he had of the man, but maybe it would be alright. Maybe they would have a little fun!
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 12:28 am
And there was his boy all singing and showin his swag. Damn, Killzone was such a masterful healer, oh ye-ah! "JERRY! YEAH! UNH!" Another fist pump, and then he had his arms in the air and an expectant look on his face, "C'mon, show your boy some love!"
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 12:34 am
"So we're playing in the-" The fist-bump once again took him off guard, sending him staggering back, but when the arms flied open, the skinny trainee couldn't help but melt a bit. It was almost Christmas after all and who could say no to that face? "Oh, c'mere you brute, ahahahaha!" He practically skipped forward to give the behemoth in a leotard the hug he deserved. HUGS HUGS ALL AROUND and K-Z was certainly the most proficient hugger he knew. When he hugged something, it stayed hugged.
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 12:45 am
Some would attribute the fact that Killzone took the hug a step further and began spinning Jerry around, to the JOY currently poisoning their water supply. They would be wrong. "YEAAAAAAAH!" After nearly hitting a few other hunters with his partner, the big man set him down and placed his hand on Jerry's head. "Ok we're gonna do this s**t Jerry, and we're gonna do it right! First off, team uniforms. I didn't want to say anything about your choice in apparel as it is a reflection of your Jerry Style, but in this situation we need to make a show of force, you with me? Good thing, I already ordered you a few power suits like this one, and it's already on it's way here, so that s**t is covered." Though Jerry might not feel the same way once he puts it on.
"The next order of business is a team name. What is our team name Jerry? We need you to ******** reach down deep and shout it out, b***h!"
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 12:54 am
A blonde dressed like an elf and bearing both a garment bag and a scowl stormed into the gathering, shoved the bag at Jerry and walked off without a word. Well, walked as far as the edge of the clearing where she could bitchface at Killzone and his new BFF. Somehow the JOY just made the disappointment that Killzone had dumped her for Jerry that much more crushing. What she really wanted to do was throw herself into the snow and throw a goddamn tantrum, but she settled for humming a particularly martial strain of the Little Drummer Boy while texting. Nio Love Out front there's a gathering around Julie. I need your expertise. She sent it with a small snort of laughter. You'll see KZ. You'll see. Big huge jerks in tights aren't as rare as they used to be.
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:00 am
Team All Your Presents are Belong to Us
"Oh! I like that!" Nothing like ripping off a badly translated game!
Snatching up a flag for themselves, he pulled the lid off the marker he had been holding onto and began to scribble their brand new team name onto the red material. Which to be honest, was proving to be a little more difficult that he first thought, but somehow managed.
"How's that look?" He asked, ramming it into the ground and holding the end of the flag out for her to see. "Kind of squished in there, but it'll do, right?" It was also a little disappointing that the marker did not come in green to go with their red flag... It would have looked so---festive!
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:05 am
"Ah... AAH... AHAHAHAHAHA!" Jerry managed as he was swung, far too Joyful to be phased by his giant friend's own glee, but was thankful to be put safely back down on the ground again all the same. Dusting himself off, his wide grin faltered slightly, "P-power... power suits, sir?" His eyes darted down for a moment and then he wished they hadn't, firmly rising back to KZ's face where they stayed I... er... isn't it a b-bit... *cold* for er-" But it was too late, Clarice was already approaching with the garment bag. All the same, he was certainly a merry sort of guy, wasn't he? And a bit ridiculous. But ridiculous was always fun! "NAME!" He suddenly shouted, torn from his wobbling, wishy-washing thoughts, "UH!" His brows narrowed determinedly, "RIGHT!" The garment was thrust into his arms and as Clarice turned to leave he suddenly shouted, almost directly at her "UH! JAY-TO-THE-ZEE!!" There was even an accompanying skyward thrusted fist of glory. "W-what are we doing, er... actually?" He had barely had time to even glance at poor Julie's table.
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:25 am
Killzone manfully choose not to point out that Clarice was acting childish and sullen, as that would likely only cause the situation to escalate and b***h needed to cool down first. Sure there had been some good times, like last years Macaroni Art Contest, but even then, victory was bitter due to the stress of artistic differences. Which is to say, Killzone was a sensitive artist and the closest Clarice came to art was the blood spatters in the Deathsweeper room.
He shook his head sadly and patted Jerry on the arm, "The power of positivity will keep you warm, Jerry. Do I look cold to you? No, and you know why? Because I stay positive, Jerry, and not only is that how you're gonna stay warm, but also how we're gonna win this ******** large man nodded appreciatively as Jerry came up with a name, "Well, Jerry, I normally wouldn't say this but since this is a team effort I need to tell you that your team name sucks, but don't worry, I got your back Jerry. We got this."
Taking a flag and carefully writing the obviously better team name on it, he explained, "This is a snow sculpture contest, yo. We are gonna take this snow and mould it to properly reflect the sheer <******** badass of..."
He planted the flag in the ground.
"...TEAM KILL-JERRY! ******** YEAAAAAAH BITCHES!"
Killzone proceeded to Dougie.
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:37 am
Team Kill Jerry?
His smile faltered again, but he was not about to let his spirits be intimidated! He unzipped the garment bag with a look of a man facing his fears. "Er... I suppose I should go er... change... ahahaha... um."
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:38 am
He couldn't help it. When Robert got the message, while sitting in his room, he had to say it once and for all. He threw his head back in the air, his mouth opening wide as he cried out into the heavens above. "WHO THE ******** IS JULIE!!!!!!!!!" He'd received texts. Gifts. Heard her name from other hunters. Even been sure that he'd been in the same room with her at one time and never been introduced or even named. And damnit, that name was starting to haunt his nightmares. So even though this text was from Clarice, who he would rather get a root canal than go see lately, he stood up and put his coat on, intent on finding out once and for all the question of a lifetime. Who the ******** was Julie.He was still wearing his elf costume (which Julie had gifted him oh god who is Julie) underneath the coat, but he refused to wear the hat, as usual. He showed up a moment later outside, sliding up just behind Clarice and looming with a bright and cheerful expression. She needed him for his expertise. He was an expert in two subjects - theatre performance, and sex. And since he saw no theater outside.. "Clarice, I thought you'd never ask. Also, who the ******** is Julie."
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:57 am
"...pa rum pum pum pum," Clarice sang darkly as she eyed the competition, too distracted in her ire to notice her back up had arrived. "Me and my...aaaHhhhhH!" She spun around to face Robert, "Damnit, make noise when you creep up on me." This made absolutely no sense at all.Flustered but not about to let him know that ( hi, too late) Clarice cleared her throat and began explaining, "Julie is the Moon Assistant-slash-Mrs. Claus at the table where we sign our team up if we're going to win this thing, Robert." She glanced over at the large dancing man in the festive leotard and glanced back at Morris. "And we're going to win this thing."Killzone clapped Jerry on the back as he went, "TIME TO POWER UP MY JEWBRO!"
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 2:10 am
In the background, holding a giant plush candycane which she was trying to fasten to a snowman while singing 'Oh Christmas Tree' backwards, Julie gave Team Clarice And Her Lackey a fond wave and a rather exaggerated kiss of approval.
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 2:36 am
Clarice's scream made Robert scream. Her high pitched screech was met with a baritone yelp, followed by several hops back and an arm wave in the air to keep any stray slaps away from his face. When they did not come, he dropped his hands and gave Clarice a tragically empty gaze. He looked up, his hand slowly shaking left to right at Julie, and then back to Clarice. "Well. That mystery's solved. Now try this one on for size." He was dumb, but not dumb enough to fail to notice what was going on. "This is a snowman competition. And you want to win it." He had no idea why he was her choice, but the fact was, competitiveness was in his blood. It ran hot already. His eyes narrowed to slits, and a feral grin lifted his lips. "So my only question is, what's the plan, boss?"
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 2:52 am
She edged closer, and began speaking quietly, :I have skills, Robert. Some may even consider me to be a genius. But...I have been told..." a swift glare toward the dancing Killzone, "...that I am lacking in artistic vision." Clarice tried to put on a brave face, but that had really hurt her feelings, "So while I can add sweet special effects like a goddamn boss and deal with any structural integrity issues? I need your help. I need your vision."Dancing was an art, right? Or like one. That meant Robert was artistic by default. A freaking artist. Dance...snow sculptures... it was all the same, right?"And we need a team name, too."
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