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 Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:48 am
The Robert that Petra had fallen in love with would have never, in a thousand years, brought up the subject of kids as something he had been looking forward to. He was terrible with kids. In fact, if one walked up to him, he would immediately try to turn it around and make it walk the other way. That Robert wouldn't have batted an eye at this news, because it wouldn't have affected the *now*. And to that Robert, the *now* had been all that mattered.
That Robert had ceased to exist for quite some time. In fact, if he had, he would have been using condoms religiously - it was the fact that he'd abandoned the practice that indicated his change in tone.
Petra was going to be his wife, and he was going to have a family. A stable job. An odd one, sure, but stable and hard working. He was going to be paid. And he was going to make Petra the happiest woman he could possible manage. A baby - no, babies, lots of them in fact, big strapping boys like himself - had just fallen into that picture naturally. They'd never spoken of it, because they were young, and they had time. But he'd already pictured them all in his head.
Until the moment Clarice erased that picture once and for all.
And this was why Robert, the hard brute of a man, was sitting on the floor sobbing with his fiancee in his arms. Because despite how much more personal the loss was to Petra, this was his dream, too. And it was shattered. Completely. Just as he was.
His dream was not to have kids. It never had been. His dream had been to make Petra happy. And that dream, at least part of it, was now rotting away in his hands. He placed them on top of her own, holding her stomach with a gentle grip, and his body shuddered as a fresh round of tears shook from him.
He couldn't even offer her a verbal answer. He just shook his head no as he cried.
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 8:20 pm
Petra felt his head shake, even though she couldn't see it, curled up as she was in his lap. Sitting sideways, her legs draped over one of his thighs, she rested her head against his chest, tucked up under his chin, her cheek pressed up against the crisp white material of his new uniform. It was strange... in her mind, she never saw him in a uniform. A soft cotton shirt and jeans, a little damp from a shower, dirty blond hair fluffed and messy from a towel as he padded around their apartment barefoot. Sometimes, when she felt sad, she'd see him in the tights she'd caught him in for ballet, and she'd smile a little. This time, it just made her want to cry. The numbness had started to wear thin, and the pain of reality was slowly seeping in through the cracks, like water into a car driving off a cliff. She was trying so hard to stay calm, to stay strong... that was who she was, now. She was a moon hunter, a protector -- she was Zeta Eight: rational, practical.
Sliding her eyes closed, tears streamed silently from the corners, making sure to keep her body completely still, although all she wanted to do was curl up in a corner and cry.
Something still tugged at the back of her mind though.
Something she didn't want to ask. Something she was afraid to ask.
"Why did we need protection?" she whispered, almost wanting him to not hear it, almost not wanting the answer.
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Interesting Conversationalist
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 11:21 pm
When Petra cried, she rarely shook. She never had the emotional outbursts that Robert always managed, and he was used to holding her in his arms and feeling her silently cry. He didn't even need to open his eyes to know the silence meant her tears, but it was better than not crying. Not crying would have worried him. He squeezed her in his arms until they hurt, as if he could transfer every ounce of energy and hope within his heart to her.
But then the question came, and he realized he hadn't really explained anything at all to her yet. In fact, if anything, he'd lied - without meaning to, of course.
She could have a baby.
"Because," He sniffled, "If you get pregnant, what grows inside you isn't human. It's 'cause we merged with our weapons, and now we're all.." He let out a whine, and buried his head into her neck. "We're not us anymore. We're different, and our bodies are different. So if you got pregnant, it would be really, really bad. And I can't let you go through that. Not ever. Not ever."
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 1:16 am
For the first time since the conversation had started, Petra turned to look up at Robert, physically twisting a little in his arms to stare, a look of horrified realization suddenly sweeping over her. Against her chest, the silver pentagram suddenly felt like it was burning her flesh, searing just beneath her collarbone. Cain was silent, but she could feel him in the back of her mind, not even the slightest hint of emotion marring the subtle pressure of his presence. "It's... the weapons?" she breathed, her fingers curling around the pendant at her neck. It pulsed once beneath her fingers, tendrils of energy twisting between her fingers like the coils of a snake, like the lure of something with sinister intentions, the weapon ready to be summoned at her command.
At her command.
"I did this..." she murmured, starting to shake a little, leaning away from him, "I killed any chance of... of..."
Scrambling out of his lap, she let out an angry cry as she tore off the necklace, throwing it as hard as she could against the mirrors that lined the walls of the training area. The spiderwebs of cracked glass rippled in a small circle where it connected before the pentagram fell, sitting there harmlessly on the floor. Waiting for her. It wasn't enough, but she didn't know what else to do, what else to throw, nothing satisfying enough. They'd stolen everything from her, her life, her future, her soul, even her own sister, and nothing she could break would ever be satisfying enough. The only thing they hadn't stolen was him.
Except she'd chosen this. She'd let them all take it.
Letting out another choked sound, Petra collapsed to her knees, curling her shoulders a little and pressing her hands to her face, trying to hide her tears and her shame.
"Robert I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
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Interesting Conversationalist
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 1:43 am
Robert stared mournfully at the pendant when it struck the mirror, his brow lined deep with anguish. He moved to stand, and walked slowly to where Petra had fallen, bending down again. He was almost afraid to touch her this time around, but like hell was he going to let her sit there alone and work through this without him.
"Stop it." He growled, but it came out as more of a whine. "Stop blaming yourself. Petra, look at me, baby." His heart felt like it was going to break a thousand times all at once. He couldn't watch the woman he loved fall apart like this. He couldn't. He was helpless. Useless.
"It's my fault." He grabbed her arms finally, pulling her into his embrace in a sudden and forceful movement that mirrored his earlier actions, but with obviously different intentions. "I was supposed to protect you. I was supposed to keep you away from all of this. I was supposed to PROTECT YOU. And I wasn't there to stop you from saying yes. This is my fault, Pet, and if you hate me for the rest of your life, it's all that I deserve."
He was a ******** failure, at the only thing that he'd ever wanted to do with his pathetic life. Keep Petra safe.
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 2:11 am
At his growl, she wilted a little, the tension in her body dissolving, as if all resistance had disappeared. Head tilted down towards the floor, her hair circling her face like a veil, she slowly let her hands fall away from where they had covered it, for the moment not looking up at him. The seconds ticked by, feeling like infinity before she finally lifted her head, locks of hair sticking to her damp cheeks as she turned despondent eyes up to where he had bent beside her again. Although the words had clearly registered, they seemed to have made little impact, because they had -- she did blame herself. There was no one else to blame, no one to condemn -- Caelius had never promised them a happy life. She closed her eyes a little as Robert grabbed her arms, and he was met with no resistance, no struggle as he pulled her into his arms. Two more tears slid down her cheeks, their weight growing too heavy as her eyes teared up again.
"You have always protected me."
Slipping her arms around his neck, she returned the tight embrace, burying her face in the crook of his neck.
"I said yes so if the time came that you slipped, for once I could be there to catch you."
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Interesting Conversationalist
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 2:21 am
Petra's words hit Robert hard, and all the well of emotion filled him, making his eyes sting and his heart hurt. He breathed out a rushed, desperate 'Oh, God', before his head dipped down and dropped against her, his weight falling against his body. He didn't know what to say. He'd never been loved the way Petra loved him, by anyone else, in his entire life. He didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve even a minute of the kind of devotion she offered. Worst of all, he didn't know how to make himself the kind of man that deserved it; because he was never going to let her go, and he knew he had to be everything she needed.
They were all they had, now.
"Pet, Petra, I love you," He practically sobbed into her neck, pulling her entire body against him as he shuddered in emotion. "I love you so much, baby. I'm always going to love you. Every second of every minute of every day until I die, Pet. I'm gonna love you."
And that was all he had. Not even that felt like enough anymore.
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 2:43 am
Despite his greater weight, she tightened her arms around his neck, leaning against him hard as he leaned on her, holding him the way she should have always held him. Against her shoulder, his tears made her skin damp as he sobbed, coaxing more and more of her own tears to slide down her cheeks, falling onto his new jacket.
"I love you too," she whispered, only loud enough for him to hear, "Don't ever let me go, and I won't need anything else."
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Interesting Conversationalist
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 2:59 am
Robert's shudders stopped when Petra's request sunk in, triggering the final words on the subject that Clarice had spoken to him once more. His eyes closed tightly, pinching up in distress, as it echoed through his mind.
Don't let the absence of something define your future relationship.
She was right, of course. He'd never admit it to her outright, but she was right. Robert was going to marry the woman in his arms, and he was going to do everything in his power to make her the happiest, most blissed out Hunter that Deus Ex had ever seen.
Starting that very moment.
He pulled away, and the tears had stopped. Instead, the bright glisten of hope fluttered in his eyes once more. He brought both his hands around and brushed the tears off of her face with the pad of both his thumbs, before he leaned in and kissed each eyelid gently.
"I promise you, Petra Walker." He whispered in an oddly reverent voice. "I will never, ever let go of you. Spending my entire life by your side is the only thing I want from life. So for as long as you want me there," His head leaned down and rested on her forehead. "I ain't never gonna let you go."
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 11:07 pm
Her arms reluctantly relaxed a little to let him pull back, still wanting to hold onto him tightly, afraid to let him go. Afraid of a million things -- of the island, of the monsters, of someday not being enough for him. A million fears suddenly struck her at once, and she shivered, tempted to hold onto him tighter, just wanting to feel him beneath her fingers. Still, her arms slowly fell, hands sliding along his shoulders to trace down his chest, her eyes following their path until she'd settled them in her lap. When he looked down at her, only then did she tilt them back up -- where hope glistened in his gaze, they were met with lingering heartache in her own. Petra slid her eyes shut as he gently brushed her tear-stained cheeks with his thumbs, failing to keep another fresh wave of tears from following the path they'd just took, leaning up a little as he kissed her closed eyelids.
She had never been superstitious -- it was far too impractical, far too illogical for her frame of mind. But his promise made her shiver, bringing chills to her spine, the urge to cling to him harder rising in her throat, tears starting to fall freely now. Instead, she resisted the urge, forcing back the feelings that threatened to overflow, forcing her breathing to even out, forcing the tears to stop before she slid open her eyes again. Smiling, forced though it was, she nodded, swallowing thickly as she reached up to brush her hair out of her face, her eyes flicking away for a second before settling on the pentagram charm, suddenly becoming unreadable.
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Interesting Conversationalist
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 11:19 pm
Robert followed her gaze, and let out a little sigh. One arm slid around her body, briefly pausing when he pulled her up against him. It was the feel of her body sliding against his, fitting perfectly into every nook the way she always did, that made him pause. Perhaps it wasn't the right time to feel such things, but there was no way to stop it. Petra always felt so right in his arms, that it forced him to stop whatever he was doing, just to enjoy it for a moment.
He buried his head back in her neck and left a chaste kiss against the soft skin there, before picking her up in his one arm and carrying her right off the floor. He turned and bent to pick up her pendant himself, gently letting her slide down his body so that her feet could touch the floor. Once he had the use of both arms again, he brushed her hair back away from her neck and tried to put the pendant back on her. He leaned in to find the latch, and his nose brushed against her hair. Instinctively, he inhaled the scent of her, and his fingers stumbled.
There was never any question in his mind about how he felt for Petra Walker. He loved her far, far too much.
"Sometimes I wish I was you, Cain." Hi deep, rumbling whisper wavered with emotion, but attempted humor despite it. "Pressed against my sunshine's skin every single day. I wonder if I should be jealous."
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Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:41 am
At his sigh, Petra flicked her eyes away from the pendant, instead focusing on nothing in particular -- anywhere but there. But the damage had been done. She knew what he was going to do even as the arm slid around her body, pulling her close again, nonresistant. The blonde girl leaned against him, exhaling slowly in her own, tired sigh, as if the weight of this new development had emotionally exhausted her. Perhaps the JOY had worn off in the water she'd drank that day, or perhaps it wasn't quite strong enough to sustain the compulsively happy energy she'd had before -- regardless, she relished in it, relaxing against his warm, strong body, her eyes sliding shut. Her tears dried stiff against her cheeks, but they had stopped for the time being, chased away by his strong embrace.
The kiss was met with a slight tilt of her head towards it, pressing her nose into his hair for a moment as he lifted her, re-wrapping her arms loosely around his neck for support. She didn't have to open her eyes to know he had started towards Cain, allowing her legs to slip from his waist to settle her feet on the ground, standing as he bent to pick it up, only then sliding them open to watch. Midnight blue watched as he picked up the silver chain, followed him as he straightened, settled on him even as he slid her hair back to slide it back around her neck, letting her gaze drift only as he leaned in to find the clasp. She heard his slow intake of breath, and her hand lifted to card through his hair, which had started to grow out as well, smiling faintly at his words.
'You should be. She is more mine than yours.'
Petra resisted the urge to stiffen at Cain's cold, possessive tone, his words chilling her. His words continued, becoming more and more distressing, but she ignored him, opting instead to lean in, pressing her lips against his ear, tempted to give it a little love-bite. "And you aren't?" she replied, her voice a weak tease.
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Interesting Conversationalist
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Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 1:15 am
Robert completely misinterpreted Petra's answer, and bent his head back to look at her. Did she just ask him why he wasn't jealous of Cain? Oh hell no. Oh hell no. This s**t would not stand, not for a minute.
No Goddamn piece of s**t weapon - Jack off. - was going to get the one-up on him as far as Petra was concerned. If he needed to reclaim his territory, then he was only too happy to do so.
Thoroughly.
She was up in one arm once more, as his eyes darkened with a focused, possessive glare. Was he growling under his breath? Only a little. His eyes never left hers, even as he carried her to the door, and unlocked it.
"I'll show you who should be jealous." His voice was a low, deep, dark rumble. "Taking you back to my room right now, showing you who's the only one who gets to press up against your whole body." He carried her out the door, pushing it shut with a soft click.
"And you ain't gonna be wearing nothing. 'SPECIALLY no goddamn Cain."
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Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 1:35 am
Petra blinked, confused for a second before she realized he had completely misinterpreted what she had meant. Where she'd meant 'and you aren't pressed up against my skin everyday,' he'd clearly heard 'and you aren't jealous?' For a second, she was speechless, still trying to wrap her brain around it, and was just about to correct him when he was suddenly staring at her funny. And before she could even protest, he had picked her up once more, hiking her up with one well-muscled arm, her eyes suddenly directly at his level. And the stare she received was enough to direct her mind away from any and all other thoughts, save one. Slowly, she swallowed, feeling her cheeks flush uncharacteristically, a shiver sliding down her spine as he growled, low and feral under his breath.
"No, I meant--" she started, stopping mid-sentence as she really truly thought about the situation, "... nevermind."
Running her fingers through his hair, she was already starting to slide his hunter coat off his shoulders even as they headed down the hall back to his room. So he mistook her words a little -- she wasn't about to complain.
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Interesting Conversationalist
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Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 2:09 am
Robert's lips met hers as he slammed her into the door of his dorm, perhaps a little too roughly, as he'd half-expected it to open when he did. Knobs were obviously difficult things to understand, for Robert. His hand fumbled blindly for the knob, finally grabbing hold and turning it only to send them stumbling inside. His foot kicked it back closed, and the first thing he took off of Petra was her pendant.
He was really serious about that.
Everything else came in it's own time.
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