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 Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2012 8:23 pm
"...help keep us human."
The phrase came as a shock to her. Christa's mundane life was hardly anything of note, which was primarily why she ignored so much of it since becoming a senshi. She dove head-first as an escape from her civilian life, when everything around her was crumbling, and never stopped to realize that she hadn't looked back since. Was it that Paris loved his life so much more as a civilian that caused him to dislike being a senshi so? What was part of Paris' life that meant so much more?
Whatever it was, Christa was surprised to feel a little pang of jealousy race across her heart. It wasn't like her to be jealous, or even the slightest bit envious, of such things. Power? Certainly. Stability? No doubt about it. But that little extra something in her human life still eluded her for whatever reason.
The gray haired teen shook her head and didn't bother with her drink. "None taken. I've been called a great deal of things in my life - old lady, freak, psycho, ragdoll, hobo... but never normal." She wrapped her hands around the mug if only for something to do, peering deep into the slightly swirling vortex of... what was it she ordered? Christa couldn't even remember. The rest of their debate sank into the back of her mind - she'd ponder over the intricacies later, when other things weren't clouding her head like they were right now. Sometimes she thought Paris had everything all figured out, and at others, well, he seemed like a lamb lost in the dark.
"Paris...?" she asked, brows furrowing as if she were still piecing together the question. "...who do you fight for?" The finality of it hit her too like a weight on your shoulders, pressing down into the earth. Paris never seemed like a 'what' kind of person. Even as Ganymede, he seemed to thrive on the presence of others, but that wasn't what Christa was trying to get at. For her, it was an ideal that drove her as a senshi, but as a civilian, she had nothing of the sort. The world seemed empty to her unless she wore the regalia of years past. So how was he able to keep everything in perspective like he did? What was Paris' secret?
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Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 12:36 pm
Paris found it hard to believe that anything in the civilian life of someone who seemed so level-headed and normal as Christa seemed to him like this could ever seem worse than fighting in a pointless war that appeared to have no end. Christa seemed stable enough—perhaps a bit lost and unsure of herself, but he didn’t think that was anything out of the ordinary. They were young. Feelings like that were to be expected, weren’t they? People older than them struggled with the same things. It was up to them to figure it out and start moving in the right direction.
Of course, he knew so little about her. Maybe there was something she’d like to escape. Maybe there were circumstances in her civilian life that made being a senshi seem easier or more worthwhile. He couldn’t imagine what that would be, or why she would feel that way, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t possible, and he struggled to keep an open mind.
He shrugged at her question, not too sure what sort of an answer she was looking for. “I fight for a lot of things. To be normal again is probably the most important. I can’t just sit back and depend on other people to do that for me. If it’s something I want, then it’s something I have to work to bring about,” he said.
It would be so easy and so much less stressful to leave the job to others, but that wasn’t the sort of person he was. As out of control as he often felt when faced with the situation of being a senshi, he knew he still had more control over his life while actually facing the problem than he would have if he’d simply turned away and never transformed again. It was a part of who he was, whether he liked it or not.
“I don’t really care about much outside of that,” he continued. “If someone else wants to fight for the Moon Queen, whoever she is, or as some way of avenging whatever happened in the past, that’s their prerogative. That's not really my concern. Whatever happened back then is over and done with. I’m more interested in the here and now, and everything that’ll come after. I’m fighting for my future, and the future of those I care about—my dad, my mom, my friends. I’m fighting to save as many people as I can—the people who mean the most to me, and even the people who don’t. We’re all just normal people underneath it all, aren’t we? I’m a dancer, you like literature, Chris plays ball. The other side… they might be brainwashed, but they’re not just monsters. They all have to want something for themselves, too. Even if they kill or hurt people, there has to be something they want, something they believe in outside of this mess, that makes it seem worth it to them. If they don’t, then… I don’t know that they’re human anymore…”
He frowned sadly and his eyes lowered to the table. “If they aren’t… I don’t know what to do, but… I still believe most of them can be saved.”
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