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 Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 8:10 am
I fall to pieces before your eyes,
all because of your stupid lies.
I run and hide to escape the pain,
but wherever I go I hear only rain...
I wake at night and scream for you,
yet I know that you will never come through.
So I wait in the shadows and there I pray,
to find the words I need to say.
I love you so much and I can't go on,
I still listen to our stupid love song...
I hate to remember and I hate to forget,
I think that now it's you I regret.
You're stupid smile that promised so much,
Oh how I had ached for your touch!
Take back your memories, take back your tears,
I've come to realize that you're all my fears...
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 9:12 am
its been a while now
since that night under the stars
when ur love has made me a prisoner
underneath these stupid bars
its been a while now
since we walked together
did you know
that im trying to make my life better?
its been a while now
since you said you loved me
but now that your gone
im trying to set myself free
its been a while now
since we rembered the time
when we frist loved eachother
and you were so kind
its been a while now
sine we last met
i thought u were the one
but then u left
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twinkle caramel candy Crew
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 2:37 pm
KyoKaSha#1 i dont understand the theme. do you have to use those lines within the poem?? not necessary. you have to create a poem based on the quote given. it's an idea to start from. yum_strawberry
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 3:11 pm
ameerahmx Starting my life with you, Was one thing i thought i would do, I totally trusted you, I honestly loved you too, But betrayl took over, You ditched my dog Rover, And thought you could get away with it, You might have if a bit, Of that sneaky, old clues, Decided to hide away in the blues, You kissed me, You would say you love me, you see, I sort of beleived it deep down in my heart, Except for just one, little part. The next day, you broke my heart, You tore it to peices, you tore it apart, I never thought that saying good bye, Would make my heart die. Walking right past me, Like nothing ever mattered between you and me, It killed me on the inside, But i tried to push it aside, I just coulnd't do it though, But i still knew what we shared needed to go, Your lips were soft, But that doesn't matter anymoer, Because what we had is gone, FOREVER I know you had forgotten, Off to text, And on to the next, And you curled your lips in plead, You now weren't in the lead. You wanted me to forget and you said you cared, I guard myself now, oh so scared, Cause you lied already, And any one who lies is steady, You told be to forget it, I sat there and thought to myself, How can i forget when what we had was real, Or so i thought it was. I walked beside you in the halls, But my heart drops, it falls, I moan and groan, Sadness spreads over my body, I wish a rush of releif would though, Because what you said we had was only, so-so, And now that i see it know, My heart still beats when i see you, But its not because i still love you, It's because i can't forget what we once had, but will never have again. By: ameerahmx. ~Hope you like it!!! I tried so hard!!~ you got the point, but you should try to focus on the quality not the quantity. i'm not that much looking for a poem with rhyme rather than a poem with true meaning inside. yum_strawberry
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twinkle caramel candy Crew
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twinkle caramel candy Crew
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 3:24 pm
xoxoAsian You said you love me. You lied. What you took away. my pride. Now you start to hide. But deep inside you cry. You know that it's hard Really hard to deny. What you felt with me. It was real. And that's still the way you feel. But you were hurt before. So you threw away the key After you closed your door. You pretend to forget. But i bet You still remember it like it was yesterday. I can't keep you out of my mind. It's as if you have become a part of me. Everytime you walk by me.. I fall into pieces. You stole my heart. But you can keep it. i have to admit, nice try ! yum_strawberry
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 3:38 pm
brianaboo614 Doorway To The Heart For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run her fingers through it once a day. A girl isnt pretty for the clothes she wears, Or the figure she carries, Or her hair. The beuty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes. That is the doorway to her heart, The place where love resides intresting but this isn't what i was asking for. very good work on your second poem and i would like it better if you had avoided using inappropriate words. yum_strawberry
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twinkle caramel candy Crew
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twinkle caramel candy Crew
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 3:51 pm
ICooro Darkseeker Theme: “You want me to act like we've never kissed, you want to forget; pretend we've never met , and I've tried and I've tried, but I haven't yet... You walk by, and I fall to pieces.”My poem: "i wish i could find the strength to forget, but i can get it to go away, only if i meet you again someday, i wish i may, i wish i wish i might, i wish we could meet tonight, some wishes i wish come true, but none will be fun with you."do you mean without you in the last sentence? your repeating the same word 5 times.. isn't it a bit too much? yum_strawberry
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 4:06 pm
missred_missused I fall to pieces before your eyes,
all because of your stupid lies.
I run and hide to escape the pain,
but wherever I go I hear only rain...
I wake at night and scream for you,
yet I know that you will never come through.
So I wait in the shadows and there I pray,
to find the words I need to say.
I love you so much and I can't go on,
I still listen to our stupid love song...
I hate to remember and I hate to forget,
I think that now it's you I regret.
You're stupid smile that promised so much,
Oh how I had ached for your touch!
Take back your memories, take back your tears,
I've come to realize that you're all my fears... both meaning and rhyme are in balance! have you done anything like that in the past ? yum_strawberry
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twinkle caramel candy Crew
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twinkle caramel candy Crew
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 4:26 pm
Xx_KlutzyDancer_xX its been a while now since that night under the stars when ur love has made me a prisoner underneath these stupid bars its been a while now since we walked together did you know that im trying to make my life better? its been a while now since you said you loved me but now that your gone im trying to set myself free its been a while now since we rembered the time when we frist loved eachother and you were so kind its been a while now sine we last met i thought u were the one but then u left i like the first quatrain more than the rest.. it's better if you use words with metaphorical meaning or emotionally charged words. f.e instead of ; abandoned dreams write; you abandoned me and our dreams, a hole insides me that bleeds. yum_strawberry
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 4:49 pm
twinkle caramel candy xoxoAsian You said you love me. You lied. What you took away. my pride. Now you start to hide. But deep inside you cry. You know that it's hard Really hard to deny. What you felt with me. It was real. And that's still the way you feel. But you were hurt before. So you threw away the key After you closed your door. You pretend to forget. But i bet You still remember it like it was yesterday. I can't keep you out of my mind. It's as if you have become a part of me. Everytime you walk by me.. I fall into pieces. You stole my heart. But you can keep it. i have to admit, nice try ! but t dosn't blend in so much.. i would suggest that you try thicken your poem so it sounds better. for example, instead of; (a random thought) old memories, past lovers, you can say ; i still have for sore, memories of the past, of this kind of love, that wasn't meant to last. yum_strawberry
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twinkle caramel candy Crew
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 6:08 pm
missred_missused I fall to pieces before your eyes,
all because of your stupid lies.
I run and hide to escape the pain,
but wherever I go I hear only rain...
I wake at night and scream for you,
yet I know that you will never come through.
So I wait in the shadows and there I pray,
to find the words I need to say.
I love you so much and I can't go on,
I still listen to our stupid love song...
I hate to remember and I hate to forget,
I think that now it's you I regret.
You're stupid smile that promised so much,
Oh how I had ached for your touch!
Take back your memories, take back your tears,
I've come to realize that you're all my fears... Your poem is really good! i luved it! i hope you win!
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 10:39 pm
twinkle caramel candy brianaboo614 Doorway To The Heart For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run her fingers through it once a day. A girl isnt pretty for the clothes she wears, Or the figure she carries, Or her hair. The beuty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes. That is the doorway to her heart, The place where love resides intresting but this isn't what i was asking for. very good work on your second poem and i would like it better if you had avoided using inappropriate words. yum_strawberry sorry i messed up on that one. :/ nd sorry i used bad language on the second one. i wrote it in between tears. ya know. tear stained pages sorta thing lolz. so i sorry about that.
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Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 1:40 am
twinkle caramel candy poems must be your own creations and you can post 3 poems maximum. heart ooops... uhm sorry 'bout that, i didn't read through the entire message sweatdrop i'll try to make one later yum_pizza
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Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:52 am
twinkle caramel candy ICooro Darkseeker Theme: “You want me to act like we've never kissed, you want to forget; pretend we've never met , and I've tried and I've tried, but I haven't yet... You walk by, and I fall to pieces.”My poem: "i wish i could find the strength to forget, but i can get it to go away, only if i meet you again someday, i wish i may, i wish i wish i might, i wish we could meet tonight, some wishes i wish come true, but none will be fun with you."do you mean without you in the last sentence? your repeating the same word 5 times.. isn't it a bit too much? yum_strawberry yea i meant without u ....and actually the poem i got had those in there XD
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