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 Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 10:39 pm
Curses. This was Requiem! His roommate. Best friend. Shite! He was going to screw something up. Oh god what was he thinking?! Simple: he wasn't! Lycander wasn't currently able to think past the solid feel of the hands he held, the close proximity of the body in front of him. And the lips that he brushed his own against. It took more effort than he cared to admit to keep it simple and fairly innocent.
Lycander had seen the brief bit of confusion that flickered across Requiem's face and couldn't determine how it made him feel. Had he just made a huge mistake? There was anxiety taking over now as the redhead pulled away reluctantly and slowly. He didn't know what expression was on his face, but his mind was chaotic. Mostly full of angst at how stupid a move this had just been. Requiem was probably going to give him some horrified look and bolt. Or worse, not be able to stand being around him without being uncomfortable.
Why? I've always been better at hiding how I feel. So what was it about this young man, this Majin and best friend, that was different? Made it harder to resist? Lycander was suddenly afraid to hear what Requiem had to say, but couldn't find the will to move away or remove his hands from his friends. Not that Requiem would have made it easy, he noted as again he felt his hands being clenched again. Then he was staring at those golden orbs again and the redhead felt his breath catch silently. He barely moved as Requiem stepped closer, tilted his head up, and lips brushed against his.
Lycander's hands tightened around Requiem's in an effort not to slip an arm around his friend. To pull him closer. Hold him close, deepen the kiss... Damnit, Lycander NO! He couldn't. The return kiss could simply have been reaction and nothing more. So he kept it simple and let Requiem kiss him however he wanted. Light, gentle, deep, whatever. And when he pulled away, the redhead internally groaned. Too short in his mind. But sweet all the same. Like honey. Or maybe butterscotch.
He clenched his teeth to keep from saying anything or responding, just letting Requiem get out whatever he needed to say. Or was trying to say. That didn't keep Lycander's heart from threatening to beat out of his chest the whole time. And when those simple words were uttered, he swore it skipped two beats completely. He...Requiem...liked him? Really? Lycander just stared, gaze going from wide bright eyes to hooded with some emotion.
Before he could formulate some sort of response, the hands he was enjoying in his own were wrenched away and Requiem stumbled away from him. Lycander took a small step in momentum after Requiem before stopping. He desperately wanted to walk over and grab him, keep him from running and hiding. Except he wasn't that type of person. If his best friend, who'd just confessed to liking him needed time to himself, then Lycander would give it to him.
"I like you too." He whispered, eyes rolling up towards the moon. "I like you very much." Lowering his gaze he regarded his friend. I'm sorry, was what he wanted to say. But it would have been a lie. He regretted nothing about tonight.
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Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 11:19 pm
Requiem's heart felt as if it were going to beat right out of his chest at the rate it was going. Everything seemed to be colliding with him at once, his emotions careening around unsteadily, unruly in his mind as they moved one direction, then the other, then a different way, then back again. His thoughts felt jumbled, the words he wanted to say - had no idea what to say - dying in his throat before they had even been formulated into proper sentences.
I just kissed Lycander Taimborlin. My best friend. My roommate.
That one thought kept racing around all the rest, prominent in Requiem's mind.
But he kissed you first, came a second voice, quiet and reassuring. He kissed you first, remember? And it made you feel good, so you kissed him back.
It did...feel good, Requiem thought, biting his lip again as he sat there on the steps leading up to their apartment, looking up at Lycander. He had stopped in his getaway, half frozen where he was (mostly because he'd tripped in his attempt and was now on the landing beside the door, his back against the brick wall). It felt good because I...to Lycander...
"I like you too."
This statement was followed by complete silence, except for the gentle breeze that ruffled the leaves of the trees. It was late, and there was no one else out on the street - no one but the two of them, illuminated by the soft glow from the lampposts and the half-concealed moon high above them. Requiem's eyes were wide with shock, his mouth slightly agape. At first he'd thought he'd heard Lycander wrong, couldn't possibly have heard him right, but then -
"I like you very much."
His roommate's eyes were leveled with his, steady and unmoving. Requiem felt something course through him, something fuzzy and intangible, something that made him feel...well, everything. The first thought that came to him was why, but he did not want to ask Lycander that again; he had already heard the reasons why, and it was only now that he was actually starting to believe them.
Requiem's hands lifted, pressing against his scarlet face to hide it from view as he gave a small exhalation of breath. He felt dizzy and confused, yet at the same time...a warm relief had spread into his mind and heart, soothing him gently.
"Do you..." started Requiem, then stopped, trying to figure out what exactly he was asking. He cleared his throat awkwardly, then tried again. "I mean...I..."
Why wasn't he able to speak properly? It was unbearably frustrating, and Requiem made a small noise like an irritated cat. His eyes flitted back upwards and he looked at Lycander, framed in the light from the moon and wanting very much to kiss him again.
Then he realized what he had just thought and felt as if his head were suddenly going to burst into flames, his face was so hot. He turned hastily away, drawing his knees up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them and his head resting sideways on top.
"I...I'm not used to this, you know," he said, feeling horribly stupid and ignorant. "I don't...I don't know how this is supposed to go. I've never...never been in this sort of...situation...before. I don't even know what I feel, really, except that I l-.......like you..."
A small pause. Then came a barely audible "...a lot." because Requiem had pressed his face against his arm, muffling the sound. A few more words were mumbled "...so much that I'm scared to know what will happen if you go, or if you disappear, because right now...you're all I have."
His real feelings, whether stupid or not - and Requiem knew they were pathetic - had come out unintentionally, but at the same time he had wanted to tell Lycander the truth.
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Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 12:00 am
He folded his arms across his chest in an attempt to keep from dashing over and wrapping them around the one he really wanted to hold right now. Especially with the look he had on his face right now. Lycander knew he had caused it. Knew that doing exactly what he wanted to right now would not help in the least. But oh how he wanted to. He likes me? Those words were still replaying in his mind. He likes me! Is it the same though...? Of course there was doubt mingled in there. It was almost to good to be true, hearing those words.
Lycander's gaze never wavered from Requiem. If he was nothing if not patient. He'd taken a huge step and would not move forward any farther until he knew for sure which direction he would be stepping. Whichever direction, it will be the right one, I'm sure. Or so he would believe.
Just go over there, you idiot. He couldn't. What if he only made things worse? Or better? Wait...better? How in the hell could he make it better? Kiss him again, fool! Or go grab him. Alright, his own mind was not helping right now. And now Requiem's face was hella scarlet. Oh crap! He hadn't said any of this out loud, had he? Lycander was ninety-nine percent sure he hadn't. Although, judging by the way Requiem was curling up like so, maybe it was whatever his friend was trying to say that was the cause for his sudden bashfulness.
And he just wanted to walk over there, drop to his knees, and wrap his arms around him.
Lycander felt his heart squeeze and this time, he was the one that's mouth was slightly agape. He had not known just how much he had affected Requiem. Until now.
Moving slowly, so as not to startle his friend, Lycander moved towards Requim until he was in front of the Majin. Standing there for a moment, he knelt down and reached out with a hand to place it gently against his shoulder and squeeze. His other hand reached out to rest on top of Requiem's head.
"I know. And understand. I'll also be quite glad to inform you that there really is no way to go about it. It's different for everyone. Just follow what your heart and mind tell you. They are the best guides in these situations." The redhead's voice was smooth and warm like melted chocolate. "As for how you feel..." Lycander ruffled his hair and slid his hand down to Requiem's cheek. He didn't force the other to look at him though. "I'm not going anywhere." Lycander gave him that quirky grin. "You're stuck with me until you decide to leave on your own."
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Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 9:59 am
The rush of incoming emotions was swirling around so fast in Requiem's mind that he actually felt a little dizzy from the weight of it all.
Lycander is flirtatious, said one part of his mind. He's used to this sort of thing - the whole holding hands, the confidence, the cheerful bantering. You've known that from the beginning; you knew what he was like when you moved in with him, even if that was unexpected.
And he had known. Requiem had pretty much surmised Lycander's romantic preferences from their first meeting, but he had never once said anything, never brought it up; mostly because he had not thought it any of his business. And it hadn't been. Not then.
But now - right now it was very much his business, because Requiem's feelings were to the point where everything was just spilling out. The safety he felt around Lycander, the warmth he got from the small smiles meant just for him, the comfortable ease in which he could talk - actually talk to Lycander, without being wary of judgment or disgust. It all made sense when he looked at it from the point of view he was now - that he, in all sense of the word, liked his best friend. As more than a friend.
He had probably already known this, at least sort of knew it, that it had been growing steadily since their first meeting together, but Requiem himself was not a good judge of his own feelings, and he had never before felt this, which made him a complete novice on it. Awkward, embarrassed, and frustrated at his own lack of understanding, Requiem wanted to just curl up and hide away forever.
A gentle hand touched his shoulder, another settling on the top of his head, fingers gentle. Requiem did not move, but his face turned, if possible, even redder, and his fingers clenched tighter on his arms. Lycander's voice was quiet and soothing, washing over him like a wave of warmth. The hand that was on his head had moved, gliding down until it touched his face, long, gentle fingers dancing along his cheek. And despite the fact that he was not forcing him, Requiem lifted his head so that his eyes met Lycander's, biting his lower lip.
Without warning, without any pretext whatsoever, he lifted his arms and flung them around his roommate's shoulders in a tight embrace, burying his face in Lycander's neck. He had no earthly idea what on earth had possessed him to do such a thing, but since it did not feel wrong, he did not let go for several moments; simply breathing in that scent that was purely Lycander, no one else.
"Don't go anywhere," he mumbled, fingers digging into Lycander's back.
After a while he slowly moved away, his hands moving to rest on Lycander's shoulders. They were close again, their faces barely an inch apart, and Requiem swallowed hard, eyes flickering with uncertainty as he hesitantly touched his lips to Lycander's in a very, very brief kiss that lasted less than a second. It was as if he were testing it out, trying to gauge what it was that he was supposed to be doing. When it seemed like he held no reservations about it, however, Requiem's fingers slid together, linking behind Lycander's neck, and he inched closer, closing his eyes as he leaned in to kiss him a second time, this time letting himself linger, letting himself get used to the feel of his warm lips beneath his before drawing away.
"...be patient with me," Requiem mumbled, feeling horribly embarrassed as he turned his head away. What was he doing all the way out in the open, anyway? Sitting on the landing outside of their apartment complex, it was as if he only just realized where they were.
"We should, um. Go...inside. I-I mean - " he amended hastily, face heating as he realized his words could be taken quite in a wrong way. "It's...I'd rather not be out here. Um."
Really, now, could you be any more idiotic? chided the voice inside of his head.
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Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 3:50 pm
He let his thumb rub along the slightly cooler yet warm cheek his hand rested against. His features softened even more as the redhead watched his friend attempt to hide, yet slowly begin to lose tension as he spoke. Requiem could try to hide from a situation, but Lycander could see the effect his presence and words had. It was as Requiem himself had said. Or close enough. He did seem to need the witch. And Lycander didn't stop the small smile from curling along his lips into a pleasantly warm expression. He wanted to be that person. Wanted to be the one Requiem needed and wanted as well.
As eyes rose up to meet his, Lycander felt the warm and fuzzy feelings intensify. His thumb very lightly brushed along Requiem's lips in a small effort to keep him from biting at his lips.
Lycander almost fell backwards when he was suddenly being embraced, warm breath beating lightly against his neck as his roommate buried his head against his neck. For a moment, Lycander didn't move, didn't do a thing. He'd been caught by surprise with this action and his mind was working to catch up and choose the best action to make. To which his mind informed him he was an idiot and the redhead did what instinct and reaction told him to do. His arms wrapped lightly around Requiem and held him in a grip that would be easy to break should Requiem decide to pull back quickly again. But he didn't.
"I won't. I promise." He said in a low voice that was rich and several octaves below his usual tenor. His head leaned against his friends and closed his eyes, listening to the breathing of the body clinging to him, the feel of the fingers that dug into his back, the cool breeze that teased his heated skin. The redhead would have stayed like that all night if Requiem needed it.
Reluctantly, the redhead pulled back a little as Requiem shifted and moved far enough back to look up at him. Still so close though. Close enough he could just- Apparently, Requiem beat him to it. Lips brushed his in a very brief kiss that was really better classes as a gentle peck. But it still made Lycander smile as he stared into those golden eyes. So ironic that they were gold, his favorite color. And then he wasn't thinking on the color of his eyes. The redhead was being kissed, a real one this time. Still, he felt some of the hesitation there, not know if if this was correct.
Why not help him out just a little? Lycander slid a hand along to his friends back but didn't pull him closer. Nor did he take the kiss anywhere else. Patient. He would wait. Take this slowly. His own eyes were closed as they parted and it was only when Requiem spoke that Lycander gave him that hooded look. The words mumbled were the same that Lycander himself had already been thinking as well. And that damned flush that kept engulfing his face!
Chuckling low, Lycander leaned forward an inch and placed a sweet and innocent kiss to his friend's cheek before pulling back and rising to his feet. His hands slid along Requiem's arms to get a firm grip and pull the other up into a stand position with him.
"I agree. We should go inside. Maybe find something to watch? A movie perhaps? That actually sounds nice, I think. PJ's and a movie night. I think we even have the good movie theater type popcorn in the cabinet." He grinned and squeezed the arms he still held. "I will be patient for you." Lycander added softly. "Whatever it is you need, I'll do it." The corners of his eyes crinkled as he gave his roommate that bright smile and shoved him gently towards their apartment door.
"Now. Tell me, Requiem. Do you have a favorite movie? Or something that stands out right now?" He pulled out his keys as he spoke, moving around to unlock the door and open it to grant them access. "And am I allowed to add the white cheddar powder to the popcorn?"
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Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 6:39 pm
Biting his lip had really become a bad habit as of late, though Requiem was quite aware that it had started around the same time as his developing feelings for Lycander. He was normally very stoic, learning to do things on his own, acutely aware of the whisperings behind his back from the others who regarded him as some sort of creature, rather than a normal person, and had long since learned to ignore them. But this was different - Lycander made him act much differently than he had ever thought he would act. Around the witch he was relaxed, much more comfortable, certainly, which meant that his guards were down and he felt extraordinarily more vulnerable and slightly pathetic.
He did not seem to have a stopper on his feelings when it came to talking with Lycander. Things had a certain way of just spilling out of him, as if the redhead held some sort of truth telling magic about him. Not that Requiem minded being so...open with his closest friend, but it did make him feel mildly ridiculous at times and slightly awkward, anxiety filling his head.
He was grateful, however - very grateful - that Lycander had not pulled away when he had kissed him again. It had been sort of an experiment on Requiem's part; a test to see whether or not what he felt for his friend was exactly what he had just burst out with, and not his confusion clouding his thoughts. Lycander's hand felt warm and strong against his back, sending small ripples of tingles up and down Requiem's spine. It was still a very chaste kiss, but longer than the first, at least.
He let Lycander pull him to his feet, feeling a little cold, but his roommate's hands were warm and soothing as they held onto his arms, and involuntarily Requiem stepped a bit closer, wanting to share the warmth. But he stepped aside to let Lycander into the apartment first, ambling along after him and then pausing awkwardly in the foyer.
"A movie...sounds good," Requiem said hesitantly, as he bent down to take off his shoes. And surprisingly, he actually did feel like watching a movie. That was something easy to do, something relaxing and safe. "I like anything, really. I'm afraid I haven't seen much, but you pick."
He started to make his way back to his room, pausing at the door. "Just a little," he said, giving Lycander a tentative smile, and disappeared around the corner.
Back in his bedroom, Requiem leaned back against the closed door, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. His heart was still racing furiously, and his cheeks still felt as if they were the color of overripe tomatoes, but there was a strange sort of satisfaction deep in his stomach.
He likes me. Lycander likes me.
This was repeated as a sort of mantra over and over again in Requiem's head as he changed into a pair of black and grey plaid pajama bottoms and a long-sleeved black teeshirt, grateful to get out of his suit. He slipped his feet into his slippers, then padded back out into the living room.
"Lycander?" he called. "You ready?"
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Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 7:50 pm
With quite a bit of will power, Lycander seemed to shift from one person to another as easily as he switched subjects in conversations. It was a gift of his, really. Being able to change himself or a topic into something more comfortable for whoever he was with or speaking to. But it was still there, those feelings, hidden away by body language yet present in his eyes. It would always be present in his eyes no matter how hard he tried to mask it. Not that I really want to. Just for tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Ah, tomorrow. That would be interesting indeed. Would Requiem still feel the same? Or have a moment overnight where clarity returns and the redhead would discover him avoiding him?
Thoughts for later. Definitely not right now. The only things he had to worry about was to not press any further than he already had. Even if his best friend was reacting to just having him around in general. Yep. He'd definitely stirred up some emotions in the shy and soft spoken Majin. Majin....
Mom and dad were going to have a few words to say about this one. Probably something between, 'OMG OUR BOY FOUND A BOY FOR HIMSELF!' and 'Now remember Majin 101...?'. Lycander was already mentally facepalming at this thought.
"Awesome. We'll watch a movie then. A great way to end a lovely evening, I'd say." He grinned over his shoulder as he walked towards his room with the usual Lycander stride; bouncy, confident, and happy with who he was. Pausing outside of his door, he leaned against it and watched Requiem. "What? Not seen much, have you? Hmmm....you have left me with a challenge, my friend. I must find a movie for us to watch that will capture your interest and make you fall in love with it. Or, some such nonsense like that." Throwing a wink towards his roommate, he slipped into his room, laughing and calling back, "Fine! Fine. Just a little cheddar powder!"
He changed quickly into a pair of dark crimson bottoms with little black batlings fluttering away. Snagging a black tee with some sort of tribal design along one side, Lycander pulled it on over his head as he walked back towards the kitchen to dig around and pull out a bag of popcorn. Throwing that in to the microwave, he left that to start popping while he entered the living room and headed over to the bookcase holding their movie collection. Crouching down, he scanned the familiar titles until one stuck out in his mind. Grinning, the redhead grabbed the movie and went about the process of setting everything up so that by the time he heard Requiem's sweet voice, he had the TV on and the beginnings of previews going.
"Course I'm ready!" Lycander called back cheerfully. "Hurry your butt up, or else I'll eat all the popcorn." He teased and bounced into the kitchen to dump said popcorn into a large bowl. Flipping through a couple cupboards, he found the cheddar powder and sprinkled a little on, making sure to shake the bowl just a little and spread the seasoning. Satisfied, he grabbed a couple drinks and shuffled out to the living room.
"Hope this will do for a drink." He said, setting the popcorn bowl and two tea's down on the coffee table. Then he flopped down on the couch, grabbing the remote, and smiled over at his friend. "Ever seen Dirty Dancing?"
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Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 8:26 pm
While Lycander was wondering about his parents reactions, Requiem was doing the exact same thing. He was attempting to figure out just how to tell his parents that he liked someone - and that someone just happened to be another guy. His mother and father had always been the most non-judgmental people besides Lycander that he had ever known, so he had a feeling they would not be too flustered by it. However, there was no guaranteeing their reactions, so at least for the present moment, Requiem decided to keep it quiet.
That, and he was still one big mass of confusion himself. He wanted to sort out his own feelings first, make certain of things before he actually told anyone anything at all.
Lycander was right; a great way to end a lovely evening. Because, in all honesty, the night had been one of the best Requiem had ever had. He did not want to admit it, for fear of sounding stupid, but in his head he was glowing with warmth and happiness, wanting it to never end.
His roommate was already sitting on the couch when Requiem came out, a bowl of popcorn in is lap and the television on and ready to go. A series of drinks were on the coffee table, and as Lycander fussed around them, looking for the remote, Requiem found himself at a crossroads.
Where was he supposed to sit?
Normally, he would sit in the chair kitty-corner to the couch, curled up sideways in it with his feet over the armrest, as he usually did. But this was a different night; an evening for just him and Lycander, so sitting beside him seemed the proper thing to do. But would that be too forward?
It was all very confusing.
In the end, Requiem padded silently over to the couch and sat down beside Lycander, curling up with his knees drawn up to his chest. He did not sit on the opposite end, but closer to his roommate, enough that he could feel when he shifted positions, but far enough that he was not touching him, at least not with his legs up. If he had sat cross-legged, his knee would have been resting on Lycander's leg.
"No," he said honestly, then offered a tentative smile to Lycander as he reached for the tea, taking a small swallow. "But I'm interested in it already."
They were only twenty minutes into the movie when he felt it - the curling blackness in his stomach. Requiem's teacup fell from his fingers, clattering to the glass tabletop and smashing, spilling the hot brown liquid everywhere. His fingers were trembling so violently that he could not have held onto it much longer, and his face had paled, turning white as his arms encircled himself tightly.
No, no, not now, not tonight -!
But it was too late. Perhaps it was the continued contact with Lycander, the gentle, warm kisses from earlier. Or perhaps it was simply because Requiem was not human, as much as he wanted to be.
The hunger roared up inside of him like a monster clawing to be set free, and Requiem made a small noise of aggravation mixed with frustration and panic, desperate to keep himself from launching towards Lycander, his best friend, the one person who knew who he was, what he was, and didn't care. He could hear the beat of the witch's heart as clear as if it were out in the open, and Requiem squeezed his eyes shut, his hands moving to cover his ears, fingers clenching in his sweat-dampened hair.
I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay...
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Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 11:12 pm
It felt nice to recline back against the couch after everything that had occurred. He was relaxed, felt wonderful, and had a very light feeling now that he'd gotten how he felt out in the open now. His smiles were a little brighter tonight as were his eyes whenever he glanced towards his roommate. Still the same Lycander. Just a little more.
Briefly, emerald eyes glanced up towards Requiem when he seemed to hesitate on what to do. Or where to sit. It amused him but Lycander said nothing and let his friend do what he wanted. Part of it was curiosity at how he would act now, being back home. Home was a safe haven. A place where you let your guard down and were truly yourself. Safe. Home is safe. Like I am in his eyes. That thought made everything tingle from his toes to the tips of his fingers.
Lycander didn't hide his pleasure at having Requiem choose to sit next to him, yet he didn't do anything about it either. Like throw the arm that itched to be around his shoulders. Not yet. Let it sink in a little more. He did shift enough to let their shoulders touch, in his own way telling his friend that it was alright, he was doing just fine. Better than you think. He added silently to himself as he set the popcorn bowl in his lap and hit the 'Play' button.
"What?! You haven't?" He gave a mock gasp and placed a hand over his heart. "It's a right good thing we are fixing this then!" Lycander nudged his roommate gently in the ribs with that teasing smile and a sideways glance before giving the movie his attention.
Or only about twenty minutes of his attention before things went the complete opposite direction than he had expected.
The redhead all but jumped out of his skin when the teacup fell and shattered against the coffee table. His eyes wide and alert as he sat up in an attempt to try and salvage the drink. But he'd been a fraction too late to save the cup. Jumping to his feet he moved things out of the way that really didn't need to be wet and glanced around for anything to use to try and seep up the tea. Then his eyes fell on Requiem and his heart just about stopped. Of all nights for his friend to suffer from an episode, it had to be tonight.
The mess of spilled liquid took a backseat as Lycander practically hopped the coffee table in order to get around it and stumble along the floor. Where had he last seen Requiem with his headphones? Didn't he usually leave them in his room? He hoped they were in there as he darted in to his roommates room. Headphones, headphones, headphones! Lycander chanted in his mind, hoping that if he said it enough mentally, they would just appear in his hands. "Where the bugger are you." He grumbled as his heart pounded and concern grew. On top of the bed. Fail. Under the bed. Fail again! On the dresser? Of course not. "Curses where?!"
Twirling around he bolted out the door and went towards the bathroom. He'd found the headphones hanging on the towel rack a few times...and bingo! Requiem must have been listening to them when he went to shower and hung them there. Snatching them up, Lycander took a few seconds to breathe in and out, calm his racing heart. Instead of running and stumbling like a fool, the redhead walked with a fast paced stride back towards his roommate.
Chest rising and falling heavier, he slowed until he was standing in front of Requiem. The once bright green eyes were darker with suppressed emotions as he slid the headphones into place, shoving his friends hands out of the way in order to do so. Warning bells sounding off quietly in his own mind, Lycander sat down next to the Majin and pulled him closer, arm going around his shoulders as he placed both hands over the headphones to hold them gently in place. Though it might have seemed pointless with the headphones firmly in place, Lycander whispered soft things anyways, telling Requiem it would be alright. And just held him. I'll never abandon you when you need me most. The redhead thought. Even if it is dangerous. He'd told him before. He wasn't going anywhere.
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Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 11:31 pm
Everything hurt.
His chest, his throat, his head, every part of him drowning in the hunger that raged deep within his stomach and the recesses of his mind. The blackness swirled around him, all encompassing, twisting and undulating until he could see nothing but shadows.
This is why I separate myself from you.
Requiem's mouth felt as dry as sandpaper, his throat raw, breath coming out in ragged gasps. He couldn't seem to get enough air into his lungs, thirsting for something he was never going to have, would never let himself have. It was like being out in a desert, craving water but knowing that drinking that water would only making you crave it more - a never ending cycle.
Through the haze, Requiem could feel the couch cushions rise as Lycander bolted, though he didn't open his eyes. He was afraid to see what his friend - his precious friend - would look like, if he would still like him after this, though he knew somewhere deep within that Lycander was not like everyone else. He'd already demonstrated that.
I can't have what I want.
There was a thumping noise, a thud, and Requiem suddenly felt his hands being shoved forcefully aside, something cold and soft pushed onto his head, covering his ears entirely.
Music.
The soft strains of a violin, mingled with the higher, sweeter notes of a viola, and the low, rich chords from a cello all melting together like something warm and familiar. Requiem's eyes fluttered, and something wrapped around his shoulders. He smelled cinnamon, vanilla, and the ghost of something bright. Requiem buried his face into Lycander's neck, gritting his teeth as he curled into him, letting the music wash over him. It was dangerous, being this close to a human when he was in this state, but the combination of the music and Lycander's gentle, but firm hands balanced out any other desires.
After about five minutes, Requiem's heartbeat had slowed, the haze gone, and the craving dissipated, though he was still pale and trembling slightly, dizzy as he pulled the headphones slowly from his ears. It was only now that he realized he was sitting half in Lycander's lap, his legs thrown over his roommate's when he had turned sideways to curl against him, letting himself drown in the music. He let his eyes lift to meet Lycander's, his face flushed, one hand sliding to rest against the redhead's neck as he lifted himself up to kiss his cheek in a feather light dust of his lips.
A kiss of gratitude, not affection.
He tasted sunshine.
He pulled away, his eyes still closed, turning his head to rest the side of his head against Lycander's cheek.
"I'm not worth all of this."
The words were whispered, barely audible, Requiem's hands having dropped to rest limply in his lap now that he had grown sober enough to realize what exactly he was doing. Embarrassed, upset, and frustrated with everything, he knew what he wanted he could never have.
I will never be human.
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Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 12:32 am
As he sat there, holding the headphones in place and feeling Requiem curl against him, Lycander closed his eyes most of the way as he worked to steady his own breathing. Why? Why did it have to occur tonight? Couldn't his friend have one night where things were just...perfect? Clearly, they had pushed the happy meter too high tonight.
He held Requiem tightly and rested his head against his friends as rapid and warm breath beat against his neck. His hand rubbed slowly along the arm it was holding while his other hand rested against a knee that was now in his lap. Lycander didn't mind and even noted that he liked it. Just not the circumstances that triggered such an action. And still he murmured softly, just sitting and waiting it out together with Requiem.
Lycander's own breathing slowed before he felt the rapid heartbeat against him slowing. His hold tightened a fraction as the trembling became more apparent with less things to focus on. When he felt the head his own rested against start to tilt, the redhead moved his head slightly in order to look down at the flustered face and golden eyes that were looking at him. A smile ghosted along his lips, growing even more when he received the small innocent brushing of lips against his cheek. A kiss in thanks.
The hand that had been against his arm slid up to the back of Requiem's neck to rub small, light circles. He didn't even have to think before he responded back.
"You're wrong. So very wrong." His voice was a slightly rough, too many things chasing one another around to gain center stage. Lycander shoved them away. "You are worth every bit of it. Sweet, gentle and kind. Very much deserving of something good in your life. So what if you are a Majin? It's part of who you are. Not what you are. Without that part of yourself, you wouldn't be the Requiem you are now. My best friend. My roommate." The redhead pulled him closer and rubbed his cheek against the others. "The one I dearly like and care for."
If only you could see it like I do. Lycander thought quietly in his own mind.
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Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 12:47 am
He wanted to pull away; disentangle himself from Lycander and disappear, run until he had no more breath and his legs and lungs ached and he was as far away from his as possible, too far away to have even the slightest chance of hurting him, too far away to remember that he was not human and that Lycander was.
Except he didn't move; couldn't move. Requiem felt frozen in place, his roommate's fingers warm and gentle against his neck, his voice low, but firm. Sitting sideways on the couch, his legs still draped over Lycander's, curled against him, Requiem was lost in the moment, his eyes flickering, only half lidded as he listened to the beat of his friend's heart, the way his words moved through his chest, which rose and fell gently. He felt limp, tired, allowing Lycander to shift him closer, their cheeks pressed together, and Requiem's fingers absently curled around the the cloth of his roommate's shirt.
This wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to like you this way. If I didn't, then everything would be easier. It would be back to normal, back to the way it was before, said the voice in his head, but another voice had appeared, quiet, but strong:
...but do you want it the way it was before?
Yes. No. I don't know.
He was feeling slightly dazed. Requiem's lashes fluttered, brushing against Lycander's cheek, his fingers subconsciously clenching and unclenching on his shirt. Tilting his head back, he let his eyes meet the sparkling emerald ones he had long since associated with the person he was starting to care for more than he should have.
"But I'm dangerous," he whispered. "I can't always guarantee that I'll be able to stop myself, that I'll be able to hold back the hunger. And if I can't, then you...then I - "
He wanted to kiss him again, tell him that he didn't care what happened if Lycander wanted to stay, but the words would not come because he did care; he cared a great deal. It did not matter whether or not Lycander accepted that side of him; Requiem himself would not be able to bear it if he went too far, if he broke.
"...thank you for my music," he said, in a very quiet voice, closing his eyes.
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Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 12:38 pm
Deep breaths. Calm breaths. He had forced himself into the relaxed state he needed to be in to handle his roommate. His best friend. And the one his feelings had started to spiral around until Lycander got that oh so wonder metaphysical b***h slap to the face in realizing how he felt. He wanted this very much, yet....he wasn't so confident he could have it. That did not mean he wouldn't fight to get it though. The redhead just had to be patient. Let his friend work things out for himself. Fight his own mental barriers.
But I won't let him fight alone. I'll be there with him.
Was he aware of what Requiem was? Very much so. Did he care that the guy he really liked was a Majin? Nope. Was it dangerous? When weren't things in this particular battlefield dangerous?
They could make it work. He felt it deep down that if any Majin and human pairing could work, they could accomplish it. And he'd already stepped over two big hurdles without even trying. First, he did not and never had seen Requiem as anything other than the shy and gentle guy he loved. Secondly, he trusted the Majin.
Lycander kept up the slow circles he rubbed into the back of Requiem's neck, throwing a quick glance down when one of Requiem's hands curled into the fabric of his shirt. He watched with a relaxed and contended look as Requiem pulled back enough to meet his eyes. The redhead could see the warring of thoughts and emotions in those gold eyes. It made him feel guilty and thrilled at the same time. Guilty for being the cause of such a war of emotions, and for letting his control slip when he kissed his roommate the first time. Thrilled because there was such an emotional war taking place. It meant that, yes, what Requiem said was true. He did like him. Really like him.
And he's afraid of that. Or what some of the consequences could be. Well, I'm not afraid.
"There is danger all around us. The simple teacup, for instance. Doesn't seem dangerous. Pretty maybe, and useful. But dangerous? Yet, look at the shattered pieces." Lycander's gaze traveled to the shattered remains of the teacup Requiem had dropped. "I know what you are. Know what you can do. I know the consequences. But...I have faith in you. I trust you. You're stronger than you think you are." He smiled, a playful thing, and returned his gaze to his friend's face. "Besides, give me some credit here. I'm not a weak mass of trembling goo that can't handle himself. I am a witch. And can hold my own fairly well." Though, he also knew how quickly that small drain from the first time he'd discovered Requiem during and episode had weakened him. But he'd never told Requiem just how much it had. Nor that it had definitely taken a full day before his magic was up to par again. And that had been a little drain. What would a large drain do?
Don't think about that right now. Food for thought later.
"You're very welcome." The redhead responded quietly, leaning his head back against the couch. A small chuckle rose up, despite his attempt to stop it. "Y'know...I think we need to get you multiple pairs of headphones. Otherwise the floor and I are going to end up becoming very acquainted every time I search for this pair."
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Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 5:38 am
Lycander's fingers were soothing against Requiem's neck, warm yet firm as they pressed into his skin, relieving some of the tension that had built up and the stiffness leftover from the attack. He knew very well that he acted differently around his roommate than he did anyone else. with the rest of the world, Requiem was quiet, stoic, rarely showing any sort of emotions except perhaps mild interest or a vague sort of curiosity. But with Lycander, Requiem had begun to relax. He had started to be more content with himself, happy enough to let himself slip into a different kind of comfort zone, one where he could act the way he wanted without fear of judgment. His normal quiet visage was mostly because there had been times where people had told him that the Majin did not deserve to be as happy as humans, so Requiem had folded himself inward, hiding away the emotions in order to put on something else - a facade.
The fact that he could break that facade in front of Lycander was not just a mark of their friendship, but of something else entirely - something that both scared and intrigued Requiem. He was not certain of the depths of his feelings for the other boy just yet; his stomach still twisted nervously with each small touch, each gentle little gesture, each gentle word. Completely unused to how things were supposed to go and how to act in these situations, Requiem was hesitant, wanting to take things slow, but at the same time his emotions were a roller coaster; one moment he was up, then down, and then every twisted, intense turn in between.
"...sorry about the teacup," Requiem mumbled, lowering his head, a look of embarrassment in his eyes as he slowly pushed his face against his roommate's neck, nuzzling against him rather like a puppy as he tried to settle himself more comfortably against him. His nose was pressed against Lycander's throat and Requiem exhaled quietly, biting his lower lip again. His hands played with the fabric of his friend's shirt.
I know he's right. He's not a weakling, Lycander is a witch. He's capable of handling himself. If anyone can do it, he can.
But the gnawing feeling of hopelessness did not go away. Requiem managed a weak smile at the joke, curling himself against Lycander's side and sliding his arms around the other man's waist, burying his face further into his neck. Lycander smelled of cinnamon and vanilla, something spicy and sweet mixed together. It was soothing and familiar, and Requiem wanted to breathe it in forever.
After a few moments he said quietly "...do you wanna start the movie again..?"
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Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 8:57 pm
Despite himself, and the situation, Lycander had to laugh at the apology for such a small thing as breaking a teacup. His hold was relaxed yet strong while he held his friend easily. It felt...nice. But more than that, Lycander was more than happy to be able to give Requiem comfort while his mind worked to figure things out. Time and patience were the two best things for him right now. Both of which Lycander was capable of giving him.
Speaking of the tea...Maybe he should see into cleaning it up? Except, that required moving. And he didn't want to move. Not for a good while. His gaze glanced to his other side. It wasn't a towel, but it would be good enough for now! Leaning just a little, he snagged the thing blanket he'd placed along the couch for decoration. With some added footwork thrown in for extra help, Lycander managed to drop the the blanket on the spilled liquid. Good enough for now! He'd clean it later, maybe use some of mom's handy tricks for removing stains.
Sighing, Lycander wiggled enough to lounge against the couch while fitting comfortably next to Requiem. A small case of chills made him shiver as he was nuzzled. It was rather nice, if he was being honest.
"Don't apologize. Just a teacup. Do you have any idea how many teacups there are in the world? And how easy it is to replace one?" He squeezed his roommate. "So don't worry about it." He added as Requiem shifted again, curling into his side as arms slid round his waist. Lycander adjusted himself again to make it easier for the Majin to curl against him, hand moving from the back of his neck and wrapping around his shoulders to absently drag his fingers along Requiem's upper arm.
The redhead was surprised by the quiet question and took a minute to respond. "Only....if you want to. Though, I do think you'll enjoy it if, y'know, you watch it this time." He teased and placed a very delicate brushing of lips against the top of Requiem's head while reaching for the remote that, shockingly, didn't move from it's original spot. "The music is fantastic and the acting equally so." As he spoke, he pushed the designated buttons to restart the movie. Once that was accomplished he placed his hand lazily back along Requiem's legs as the opening credits started for a second time.
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