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 Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 9:13 pm
Yeah, he had been keeping his secret from him for a while, but... he didn't want to pull a girl he really liked into the fray when she didn't have to be in it.
Chris glanced down at the girl beside him, thinking about her question for a few moments. What did he want to do? He needed to be careful about how he balanced his time. He needed to keep up with school work when it started up again... He was also not going to the shelter as much as he knew he should be, but fighting youma and keeping the streets safe for people seemed to be kind of important.
"I think I do..." he said softly, wary of upsetting her. "I've... met a few people who have explained some things to me... If they hadn't, though, I don't think I'd be as okay with it." If Zia and Tony hadn't taken time to talk to him about things, he didn't think he'd even want to power up and fight. But knowing that there were others who felt the same way he did... Others he knew... It made things easier.
"I... feel like I was changed into my other self for a reason. I don't really know what my place in this war is — and yes, it's a war... — but I want to do what I can to keep people safe. I want to protect others," he explained, glancing down at her again with a sheepish little smile. "Sounds kind of pathetic, doesn't it?" he wondered, hoping she wasn't going to end up being upset with him for what he'd said.
"It's not easy," he admitted after a few moments. "I don't know what to expect. There are others who have been doing this longer than even I have, and they don't know what's going on. I get scared sometimes, especially since I can't do much with a compass. I can't really fight with my fists because I need to be able to pitch... It's long nights and even longer days, but I feel like it's the least I can do."
Yeah, that sounded really pathetic...
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 9:34 pm
"I don't think it's pathetic," Paris said, though he couldn't help feeling that way himself after how Chris answered him. "Pathetic would be running away."
He felt ashamed of himself. People like Chris, people like Kallichore, people who'd been doing this for less time than he had were already finding their place among it all, and were determined and eager to do so. Paris found it difficult to do that. He hadn't known where to start, who to turn to, and even what to do, so he'd done what was easy and he ran. He was still running, even if he was finally beginning to find his feet and experience some success, because he only did what was necessary. He never went further. He lingered behind and he waited for things to come to him. He never went out seeking answers on his own accord.
"You're a lot stronger than I could ever be," he told Chris, lowering his head to rest it along his shoulder again, taking a moment to snuggle close while Anna went about sniffing around a flowerbed once she was done relieving herself. "And not just with your fists," he added, squeezing Chris's hand with the one still laced with his. "I couldn't do it, I don't think. I couldn't be brave like that. I'd be too afraid of getting hurt. I guess I really am just selfish."
He spent most of his time looking out for himself, but he thought he could change that a bit, and start looking out for Chris -- and Valhalla -- too.
"Look out for some of the others," he requested, thinking of himself again, not wanting to be alone anymore. "Some of them might not be as strong as you, even if they pretend otherwise. And if anything happens, call me." He lifted his head and took a step to stand in front of him, letting go of his arm to hold both of Chris's hands at once. "You'll need someone to help you feel normal, right? I can at least do that."
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 9:47 pm
He didn't think he was that strong. He was just lucky and hadn't had to fight a monster on his own yet. There was always someone there to help him out and save his a**. And it wasn't even that he wasn't afraid of being hurt. he was always afraid of being hurt. If he did anything to injure his arm and was taken out of the baseball season, would that mean he'd lose his scholarship?? He certainly hoped not...
Chris stared down at the girl before him as she moved in front of him, letting the loop of the leash slide around his wrist so he could hold her hands. Being given support like this... he liked it. It made him feel like he could be a stronger person because of it.
"I don't think you're selfish," he said softly, giving her hands a light squeeze. "Besides... you don't know what would happen. If you did end up being one of us... Er, well, knight or senshi, at least... But if that happened, you'd have me to keep an eye on you, okay? And I promise not to get myself in trouble," he said with another small smile.
He paused for a moment, before leaning down to kiss her, feeling special and important now that she knew what he was and was still willing to be there for him. It was a big comfort, knowing he had so many people he could trust. Zia and Daniel both knew... Tony as well...
"You don't know, though," he said, pulling back with a grin. "Anything would be better than a dinky compass, right?" At least he thought so.
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:11 pm
Paris returned the squeeze and leaned up to meet Chris for the kiss, closing his eyes for a few moments to bask in the feelings it elicited in him, before opening them again when they broke apart, managing a smile at him. He wasn't used to this whole relationship thing at all, but he thought he could learn to like it a lot. Having someone always there... it was a nice feeling. He knew he didn't have to be alone.
It was a shame things had to be so complicated, though he knew it was his own doing.
"At least you know you'll never get lost," he said, grinning back.
And maybe, with Val's help, he wouldn't feel quite as lost himself.
He returned to Chris's side as Annabel bounded over to them, keeping his hand in Chris's even as he released the other so that they could continue walking. Paris held onto his arm again, still unsure as to what he was going to do about certain complications in his life, but he thought he was close to figuring it all out. Even if their relationship was mostly a sham, he'd fast come to accept Chris as a friend, and he was beginning to feel even closer to him, with this to share. He'd looked to Chris for normalcy before; now he looked to him for companionship, for support Chris didn't even know he was giving.
He didn't know how things would go from here, but he thought that, with this, at least he could have his feet planted firmly on the ground.
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