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 Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:17 am
Deimos laughed, a snort bark of a laugh that was as much scorn as it was amusement. "Perfect? Who the hell told you that you could ever be that? Look at me." He flexed his wings to gesture to his body, not really caring if the girl looked or not. "I've got fur of purest white and richest purple and wings that the night sky would envy, just like the day sky envies my eyes, horn, and claws. I'm so strong I could kill you without trying. I'm so swift that you couldn't escape me if I pursued you. I am an amazing creature worthy of awe and respect."
Then he snorted, eyes twinkling with mirth. "I'm also incredibly vain and insanely easy to manipulate with the right words. I don't think before I talk and make enemies I can probably ill-afford to make, and don't care that I'm making them. I see all others as stepping blocks in my life to achieve my goals, and will probably die without a single friend to mourn my passing."
Dei stretched out his wings to their full extent. "I'm full of flaws, possibly even more than I imagine. I aknowledge these, accept them, and embrace them as characteristics that define me as who I am today. And, obviously, I am quite in love with my own self." A corner of his mouth twitched up into a smirk.
"You think you're perfect, I know I'm not. Who do you think is the happier one out of the two of us?"
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:50 am
"That's the problem, I should be happy. I'm making the lives of other foxes full of joy. My family should be proud of me. " She sat up and turned to face him. "But I'm not. How is that? I don't have flaws because I don't have good things either. I'm nobody. And you know what they say; nobody's perfect"
Morana started walking towards the daeva as she spoke."Why am I not happy? I am everything everyone wants in a fox, so why do I hate myself so badly?" She paused "And why is is that the thought of being like you; full of flaws and caring for no one, so appealing?" She'd only ever wanted to be like two people her whole life, the ones who made her like this.
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 2:01 am
Deimos sighed and looked up and off to the side, as though asking some Deity for patience. The little nobody joke was a cute touch of humor, and he hoped it wasn't a delusion. Everything else she had said though had such an obvious answer, he was suprised she couldn't see it.
"Geez, clean out your ears and just listen to yourself. First off you gotta have a self to be happy with yourself. Get your head out of everyone else's bum and try sticking it up your own, for a change. Second, how are you supposed to be spreading happy if you're so down? When you spread and emotion you have to have it first, then share it with others."
Dei folded his wings back against his back and stretched his legs. "That's why you're gravitating to me like this. I'm brimming with self-confidence and contentment, and you can feel that. So what if I'm a jerk? I've got something that you want, whether you're consciously aware of the fact or not." He tilted his head. "Probably not, otherwise you wouldn't have to be asking me these questions."
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 3:07 am
"But... Morana protested, not unlike a small child being stubborn. This was all so confusing for her. She was helping people...yet not? She was being perfect for everyone, yet a small part of her wanted to be flawed for herself. Her head hurt.
"Screw it, I want a self. How do i get one?" She said hoping she wouldn't regret those words "For one day I want to be who I want to be. I feel pleasure when I think about not being able to reflect off someone". She tried not to think too hard about what she was possibly getting herself into. Morana was afraid that if she did that, she'd take it back and keep being just layers and layers of masks.
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 3:16 am
Deimos shrugged, his face falling back into it's mildly bored look. "You already took the first step. You gotta want something that's just for you, and no one else. It's good to be greedy every now and then." The grin following those words was mischievous and not quite reassuring.
"The rest of it is pretty simple in theory. You just go out there and live. Hold onto that resolution, Little Shadow, cause you're gonna have to learn how to not give a damn when what you want for yourself conflicts with what someone might want out of you. If you lie down and let someone walk over you, then you're just as much to blame for it as they are for stompin' on your hide."
Dei eyed the female. Honestly he didn't know if this little frail weakling would manage. She looked like one good, firm command would send her scuttling back into submission...
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 3:33 am
Something about the look he gave her made Morana feel uneasy. She was going to try though. "Ok, umm...I don't like your nickname for me. It makes no sense, I am snow white" No, what she had said was stupid. She was probably doing it wrong anyway. She was being an idiot!
"And, umm...ummm...Oh, who am I kidding? I'm no good at this! How am i going to hold on to my resolution if the mere thought of..." She stopped herself before she said too much. No, this was not the time for that. "Nevermind" she mumbled
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 3:45 am
Deimos snorted, amused in spite of himself. "Fine then, though you'd better give me something you do like or I'm calling you girlie for the rest of this conversation."
He sat, rolling his shoulders, and wondering why the heck he always seemed to end up in the therapist role? Probably because, as he said, he gave off such an air of total self-confidence that others came running to him for answers. It would be flattering if it wasn't so annoying...
"When you get a thought, just let it go. You can't spiral into destruction if you don't jump off the cliff in the first place. Once you have a better grip on you then you should be able to handle that kinda stuff. A little denial in the beginning never hurts though." He grinned. "I deny that my enemies hate me for my personality. I think they're just jealous."
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 4:30 am
Morana thought for a moment. "How about Mora? My names Morana, but everyone calls me Anna. I never understood why it wasn't Mora instead."
"I like how you phrased that" she giggled "I like something! This is fun." It was so insignificant, yet Morana it meant a lot to her. Now she just needed denial. But what could she deny? But wasn't she thinking, something that he told her not to do. Again with the confusion and head hurting-ness.
"As for denial...my head doesn't hurt and I'm not completely confused." she moaned, collapsing in a heap.. "I don't think i can use denial like you do, no one hates me."
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 10:18 pm
Deimos looked off to the side. "The point is that you aren't supposed to use it like me." Again he flashed his grin. "No one's like me, or could ever hope to be. What you need if your own kind of denial. When you start off on one of your little self-destruction spirals, for example. If you start thinking what you're doing isn't good enough for others, then you need to stop and tell yourself it's more than good enough for others."
Dei flexed his shoulders. Sitting in one position after napping in a tree sure made him sore. "Just worry about pleasing one person. Yourself."
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2011 12:09 am
Morana huffed. "But that's the problem, i don't know what pleases me. At least, I thought I did, but that would be helping others...and I'm not supposed to do that, right?" She bowed her head, trying to think.
Denial...denial...what if she started with something small and obvious? No, that would be stupid. Maybe if she just forgot about denial she could do something she wanted to. "I want to do something risky." She blurted, pausing for a moment before pushing on blindly. "Everyone wants a 'good fox' personality, I've never done anything dangerous and reckless." don't think, just do she repeated over in her head. And she wasn't going to, she wanted to do something that others tried to steer thier friends and family away from. She giggled in anticipation.
"I want to fly. And i want you to help me."
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2011 12:48 am
Deimos wasn't sure if he was helping or just confusing the poor vixen at this point. It seemed that Morana was so lost within her inner void that she couldn't use his advice properly. Ugh, he hoped she didn't get super freaky attached to him...
He'd been thinking about what he could say to that without making anything worse, when she busted out with her desire. He blinked, then sighed. "I would hardly call flying dangerous. I suppose you ground-bound creatures see things different though."
He stood up, and holding his head high and looking down at Morana. "So, you wanna fly, huh?"
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2011 12:59 am
Morana had a sinking feeling. Maybe she shouldn't....no! She had to hold on to what she wanted! "uh, huh. And flying is dangerours. You could drop me and i could fall and go spinning towards the ground and, and...I'm going to shut up now." Her stomach was doing little back-flips at the thought of what could happen.
Stop it, Morana! She mentally scolded. Don't think, just do. "And yes, we 'ground-bound' creatures do see flying with a deava we just met a little differently"
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2011 1:13 am
Deimos' grin wasn't at all reassuring. "Oh yes, it's probably dangerous because you're flying with a Daeva. Phims are much nicer, and less likely to drop you because you said something even mildly irritating to them."
As he spoke Dei found himself locked in an internal debate. Should he act on an impulse and go along with all this, or heed the voice of reason and leave the little female on the ground? After all she had nothing to do with him, was nothing to him. He could wander off now to a quieter place to finish his nap, and would probably forget all about her by the end of the week.
Yup, his mind was made up.
He shook out his fur to get any clinging debris out before he left and glanced over his shoulder. "Well, later." A few running bounds, then he snapped his wings open and took off. In the span of five heartbeats he was out of sight...
"Psych!" Dei had pulled a wide circle and had come gliding silently through the trees to sneak up behind Morana. They were quite widely-spaced, and he was good at silent flying. That shout was the only warning she got. Without even pausing he snatched Morana off the ground and being furiously pumping his wings to gain altitude again. He hoped she didn't struggle too much once the shock wore off; ground snatches didn't give one a whole lot of time to get a proper grip. He was holding on tightly, but it wouldn't be as comfortable as it could have been.
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2011 1:28 am
Morana felt her stomach sink as the daeva flew away. But then again, wan't he just doing what he told her she needed to do? But the sinking feeling was nothing compared to what came next.
"Eyeeeeee! Oh my 'dieties" was all she could let out before she felt the ground beneth her drop away. "Eek, don't let go, don't let go, don't let go!" she squealed as she tried to cling on to him. She was shaking and her eyes were shut firmly.
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2011 1:41 am
Deimos felt the urge to snicker. It had been a long time since he'd be able to pull of a surprise snatch. Jitana had gotten wise after the second time, and it was like she had eyes in the back of her head now. Seriously, how'd his sister keep tabs on him after he'd disappeared into the air?
"I won't let go, but it you don't quit wiggling like that then you're going to wiggle right out of my claws." That was part of the truth for a wingless fox chosing to fly with a winged. There was nothing to clutch, nothing to hold on to. You had to just hang there, wrapped in the paws of the flier, and just trust them.
His dad and mom had it down to something of an art form.
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