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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Apr 15, 2011 4:44 pm
A frustrated sigh escaped her as she put one hand on a hip and the other raised to rub her forehead a bit. Arceus, she knew it was a horrible realization that he was an assassin, but constantly brooding over it for so long wouldn't do him any good, nor would it solve or undo anything. Why didn't he get it?
As per usual, she strategically avoided answering his question. Instead, the raised hand lowered to mirror its twin and planted itself firmly on her hip. "Do you disagree with me too, Lucas?" Quite honestly, she was getting extremely tired of his constantly negative, self-berating behavior.
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Posted: Sat Apr 16, 2011 10:18 am
"You should already know the answer to that," he said, "if not from what I've said so far, then from the choices I've made." With a soundless sigh, he once more began fiddling with the guitar, picking at the strings idly. "Sorry if it's not the answer you want to hear." In all honesty, despite every element of his life that indicated otherwise, he had a hard time thinking with a criminal's mind. He saw his actions objectively and knew them to be inexcusably evil. He wouldn't forgive someone who had killed a member of his own family, and so he found it impossible to forgive himself.
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Apr 16, 2011 11:44 am
"The only thing that was 'clear' before now was that you were ignoring me," she said with a huff, crossing her arms over her chest, "you didn't even want to look at me, and wouldn't even tell me why. And for what? Protection? What the hell kind of protection is avoiding me like the plague?" Because seriously, that's exactly what he'd been doing. In her opinion it was a distinctly juvenile decision. But then again, her decision-making skills at the moment were clouded with anger and frustration that had been simmering beneath the surface for the past two weeks.
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Posted: Sat Apr 16, 2011 11:51 am
"Maybe it was selfishness." A few meandering chords accompanied his words, loosely strung together as if attempting to become a melody. "I guess I might have been trying to protect myself as much as I was trying to protect you. Like I said, I don't have very good experiences associated with the word 'friend.'" That was likely true, now that he properly considered the possibility. He treated the external parties as the victims, but he'd been fairly wounded by the ordeals as well. A defense against hurting as well as against being hurt. He had the right to afford himself that much shelter, didn't he?
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 2:38 pm
"I know," she sighed, trying not to be too exasperated by the whole situation and his decisions. It was more than a little hard, given the circumstances. "But don't you think that not everyone would be like that? Not everyone's a jerk or a conniving harlot, or would just suddenly stop talking to you," she put emphasis was placed on the last four words of that sentence for fairly obvious reasons, while one fist clenched beneath her arm, the other hand tensing its grip over the other arm. The entire situation was incredibly frustrating. Sometimes Lucas was just so.. so dumb. She didn't want to think that, but sometimes...
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 8:43 am
"You can go ahead and think of me as a jerk if you want to. Sounds accurate enough," he said with another shrug. His volume lowered with a sigh. "You know, we humans are pretty ugly creatures. As long as we communicate, we inevitably fight and argue over stupid things. The only thing we can do consistently is misunderstand one another or piss each other off." He continued to strum at the guitar, a noticeable harmony emerging from the chords that seemed incomplete without vocals to accompany. "I worked with Galactic peacefully for ten years after Morrison and Elissa left," he realized that he had never spoken of Elissa, but he assumed context would allude to the fact that she was a friend as close as Morrison. "What sets those ten years apart is that I wised up and stopped trying to communicate with people on a personal level. I don't think it's wrong of me to want that peace back." Maybe he was dumb. He probably was dumb. But if he could be dumb in a way that never affected anyone but himself, then he didn't rightly care.
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 8:59 pm
It was hard to know exactly what to say given the circumstances. She'd heard all about Elissa and Morrison from Luke, though Lucas had no idea just how much she knew, and she was fairly certain at the moment it'd be much better to keep it that way. So what the hell was she supposed to say? Not much. "No, I don't think so," she agreed after several silent moments, her arms still folded over her chest, "but that's still sad." Sad and pathetic. Ten whole years? She'd known it'd been years, but ten? Seriously? "Lucas, what kind of life is that?"
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Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 5:45 am
"What kind of life is it to live preoccupied with how to avoid hurting someone, or how to avoid fixing it when you do?" he countered. "We could argue about this forever, Claire. I'm not going to give and neither are you. You can be angry with me or hate me or think I'm horrible or whatever you want. I'll still be here if you ever need any help." He was becoming weary of the ordeal - weary of having his choices attacked and criticized, weary of defending himself against someone who didn't seem to care what his reasons were.
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 6:36 pm
A frustrated sigh escaped her as she reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose, forcing herself to stop and think for a few seconds. She wasn't getting anywhere at all, and arguing more more than likely still wouldn't get her anywhere. She'd gotten the answers she had originally sought - she knew now why he'd been ignoring and avoiding her - as well as a couple other things, mostly that it'd be damn near impossible to get him to change his mind. He was almost as stubborn as she was. And anyway, getting him to come around would take time and patience, neither of which she had right now, so she simply lowered her hand with another sigh.
"I don't need help," she said after several more moments, the inflection suggesting that she needed something else entirely, "and even if I did, why would I come to you? We're not even in the same department or anything." Or the same rank at this point, though she wasn't about to add that. "Though I suppose you'd rather keep it that way. Fine, whatever. I'm done." Even though she was trying to be angry, she mostly just looked sad and disappointed, speaking in bitter tones as her arms lowered to her sides again. "Do whatever you want then, I hope you're happy." She was making every effort to sound and look and appear angry, or annoyed at the very least, but the whole situation was just too frustrating and melancholy. It was hard to be pissed off when she felt so disappointed. In what? Lucas for being a jerk? Herself for failing to keep her promise to Luke? Both? Or maybe even a combination of those and something else entirely. Either way, she was done. Another sigh escaped her as she turned to continue down the hall. She needed to go punch something. Actually, she needed to make herself angry instead of sad and then punch something. That sounded good.
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Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 7:15 pm
"Sorry. Force of habit." He had been relied upon fairly frequently as a Galactic elite, for both assistance with training and advice in personal matters no matter what department either was affiliated with, though it still seemed strange that she would outright reject all assistance just because they were with different departments. Or maybe she was simply rejecting assistance from him. The thought surely stung, but he shrugged it off as best he could. If she would be angry with him, let her be angry. He deserved that much.
However, she didn't look angry. She looked more... upset? Crap. Hopefully she could find it in herself to channel that disappointment into hatred. She turned to leave, and he murmured after her, still strumming his otherwise wordless serenade, "I hope you're happier."
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