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 Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 6:22 pm
Athela shrugged,"I would rather be a fool than a coward. I won't want to spend my life withering away into nothing, knowing that I didn't take the chance." That is if she were ever to have the chance with which she was born without. Thinking over what the stallion had said about having only one destination at the end of all of the roads, she replied,"Isn't that still better than letting fate and destiny guide you the entire way? Nevertheless, it's unrealistic to think that fate and destiny would guide you the whole way anyway. If they played such a big part, we wouldn't need to be here because fate and destiny would be able to run the world by themselves. They can't do everything. Fate is one thing and destiny is another, but we're bigger than them." She sighed, drawing near a topic that she didn't very like,"All roads lead to death. In the end, death takes us all. But aren't there many ways to die?" She didn't like thinking about death. The word itself seemed to have its own glum aura about it. Death was everywhere but as long as she continued living, she didn't like thinking of death because to her death was still a long way off, a mere glimpse of a shadow in the mists that surround faraway mountains. "Then instead of believing in something, why not believe in yourself? Trust is only an empty promise when it can not be fulfilled, but if you trust yourself, you can fulfill your own promise. Your life doesn't belong to anyone else."
"If ignorance is bliss, wouldn't seeing the world as it really is be amazing? It may be the beginning of the end, but after all the awful things, wouldn't be happiness be more amazing and precious? If they still only see awful things with their eyes wide open, they are still blind whether they have their eyes open or not." Athela paused. What did he mean about gods being the only ones who have the ability to create storms? Physical storms, yes, probably, but anyone could create the storms that she was talking about. "Anyone can create these storms...It only depends on the ambition and determination whether the storms are great enough to be felt. Though the blind may be able to tell the difference between multitudes of water droplets in comparison to one, but they can't see where they are. Even if they were in a cavern where the rain poured outside, they wouldn't notice, would they?" She blinked, how so? How could the meanings of promises change? She knew that they could but it took her a few moments to think of an example,"Like if you promise someone that you're be with them forever, but they leave before their time, whether to some place or the fog. Wouldn't you be breaking your promise? But if you always keep that someone in your heart, won't it be like you never left them?" It was a pretty pathetic answer, but at the moment, she couldn't think of any better.
"That's good." She replied contently as she began to follow him in the direction of the forest. As she walked, it struck her suddenly that she hadn't introduced herself yet. Though she had been talking, more debating, with him for quite a long time, he was still a stranger to her, a stranger without a name. And it would be nice to put a name on him if she should ever happen to meet him again. Even as it was rather late, "I'm afraid that I am rather rude since I have forgotten to introduce myself, but I'm Athela. And you are...?" She paused, he didn't seem to like her very much and he was a stranger after all,"You don't have to give me your real name, but a name would be nice, something to call you by instead of a 'you' or 'Mr. stranger.' My mother used to call my father the Golden Butterfly that Flies Over Hill and Fallen Snow or Eeyore los before she finally got his real name right."
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 2:01 am
“Then be a fool.” He responded unenthusiastically. “It is no business of mine.” He listened to her speech on fate and destiny though his heart was only half in it. He knew her opinions would not waver regardless of what he had said, and he had begun to stop caring about whether they did or not. He could walk with her and talk to her about the horrors of life and how they tend to cast a dark curtain over life until he was out of breath, it would not stop her from arguing each point. “Perhaps your fate and destiny are different from mine. We have been divided on everything else so why not our beliefs on those controlling what we can and can’t do?” At this point all of her arguments had seemingly come from one who hadn’t had to experience anything as horrifying as having a loved one die before you without even being able to help them. He was alone in the world now, if her were to fall over dead no one would remember his name or miss him in the slightest. He was just another particle of dust floating around in an endless sea. “Indeed there are many ways to die; we do not get to choose from them though.” He responded through a sigh. She certainly was adamant about her beliefs; he would give her that much for certain. The topic of death got him to thinking that perhaps he was already partially dead; obviously there was some amount of vivacity missing from within him. Could one be dead and alive at the same time? Life really had no meaning for him but he still did not crave death as he might have. Each day he got up and walked around for no apparent reason. Her words broke into his thoughts and he found himself responding mechanically. “Believe in myself?” He scoffed at the very notion. Wasn’t it he who couldn’t convince his father to wait for Cottus? Wasn’t it he who watched his brother suffer and die without being able to do a thing but tell him he would be okay? Shaking his head he allowed that question to become rhetorical rather than spilling his guts about how much he really believed in himself. He allowed the last part about trust to slide as well, he really didn’t want to get into the particulars of trust.
“Perhaps bliss shades the eyes from the true darkness. Perhaps bliss is better than the outside world all together. Never having to experience the murder or disappearance of a loved one. Never having to watch as someone close to you perished. I would say one is able to live more pleasantly and more optimistically without such things.” These examples were his own, his life story, but he figured she would not catch on to that, they were far too obscure in nature. “Sometimes you have no say in what you see.” He mused aloud. He listened to her description of anyone creating storms a moment before shaking his head. She was incorrigible, so far in their entire conversation they had not come to an agreement once. He at once got tired of the storm analogy and the cave and just came out with a simple response. “On cannot create happiness out of thin air. When your mother dies I would like to see you pull rainbows and sunshine down.” He all but growled. What did he have to be happy about? That he was alive? Sure, he was living and that was grand but every day was monotonous and lonely. His feet kept him going and his heart was cold and hard. Exhaling he regained his composure and kept his eyes on the location of his shelter out of the clearing. He listened to her speak and thought a moment about how he carried Cottus with him every day. This was not what he had promised…
Her introduction caused him to look at her from the corner of his eye. Why would names matter? Surely he would move on and never see her again. Or perhaps he would even forget her name just as she would come to forget his. With a sigh and an eye roll he responded as politely as he knew how. “Roman.” Though he could have commented on the stupidity of such nicknames he left it alone. “I have no need to hide my name nor do I wish to be called by a nickname.” His words were straightforward, leaving no room for question or insertion.
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 8:05 pm
"If being willing to take the chance makes me a fool, then I will be fool and it will be no business of yours, but I won't regret it, not even if the world comes crashing down on my ears and the sky shatters into glittering pieces because even that is better than waiting endlessly for a star to fall." Athela was not an impatient mare, but she believed in that there were simply some things that could not be gotten without taking a chance, without taking a leap of faith. The world spins around, and fortune changes with the wind and if she was supposed to be standing around, waiting to be swept away with the wind of fortune, she would not do it. She believed in taking chances, making her own fortune. On the stallion's next comment, she shrugged,"Perhaps our fates and destinies are different, but who can really tell? Perhaps they are the same, they will always end in the same place, no? We may be walking on different roads, but our destinations are the same, just that the view is different with out beliefs...Some deaths we can't choose, but the ones we can, we should." There was accidents, there were sickness and there were wounds, all that could lead to death. There death would not be kind enough to give them a choice, but on the other hand, growing old, old age, they still had a chance to choose the way that they die. Athela suddenly blinked as her ears picked up the stallion's next comment. Had he heard her incorrectly? "Yes, believe in yourself." She repeated rather matter-of-factedly and smiled, "Because you know, if you belief in yourself, wonderful things can happen."
"Sometimes you may have no say in what you see, what you hear, what you feel, but don't you have a say in what you do? You can see no bliss, but nothing stops you from trying to find bliss." As the stallion mentioned what would happen if her mother died, Athela's eyes suddenly turned stone cold, but in contrast, she let a laugh roll down her tongue, not seemingly forced but not altogether true either,"My mother, die? She can create happiness out of thin air, catch rainbows in the sky and chase the sun down to the ends of the earth. She can't die...Even if she were to 'die,' her spirit will always be with me, won't it? Then I would be able to still hear her voice in the winds on lonesome winter nights." In her heart, her mother was another type of being, almost ethereal. She saw her mother as a hero, a conqueror, an adventurer all rolled up into one. Try as she might now, she could not imagine dead because she was so alive.
"Roman." Athela repeated, letting the name roll down her tongue smoothly and smiled,"It fits you. Now I'll remember it if ever I should meet you again after today and you will no longer be Mr. Stranger. You'll be Roman, no, you are Roman and an interesting conversationalist."
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