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Not long ago, I fell stupidly in love (though there's really no other way to really do it). Enough so that I was prepared to eventually leave my wife. I was thrown out for another person (which, in case it's never happened to you is so much more painful, emasculating, and humiliating than just being dumped).
After that I was brought back to my life, deprived of the thing that made me most happy to get out of bed each day. Back to my impoverished, friendless life, nevermind the endless disappointment of being back in art school, the one place in the world where I thought I can expect to make friends, again, the place that I had spent the last two years of my life just waiting to go. The only friends I had that I'd ever spent any facetime with dropped off the face of the internet, so I didn't have them, either.
At this point in time there was only one thing alive that I had only positive feelings for, the first person that I told about all of this. Kenny, the chinchilla. We took him to be put to sleep, the first day that she spent with him as a couple.
Alright, still with me? /bitching. If I reacted to my feelings then, I'd have given up. I'd be dead, festering as we speak in a grave, the entire contents of a bottle of sleeping pills in my stomach. Hell, if I thought my life weren't going to get better, I'd still be intending to kill myself, if I wasn't dead already. I thought about it a lot and for no less than a week wanted to see the world end. I wanted to see every last man woman and child die before me before dying myself, but I got past it, because of one thing.
Tomorrow.
Every year I am so much more than I was before. I have so much more left to learn, see, and do. I felt I needed to tell you this story, because you need to know that I'm not someone that feels that life is this wonderful, bright, shining thing. Sometimes, in fact most often, as I see it, it ******** sucks. At this point in my life, it is pretty much synonymous with "suffering." Nor am I someone that doesn't know what it's like to have plans change in a shocking, jarring, potentially life-ruiningly horrible, awful, excruciating and humiliating way.
I'm going on for knowledge, for the hope that tomorrow just might be a little better than the steaming pile of s**t that my life is right now. Whatever that case, I am confident about one thing and that is that I'll be a hell of a lot wiser, more skilled, more experienced and probably stronger than I am right now, physically and surely emotionally. If that's not enough for you, then I don't know what to tell you, other than to say that I am more sure than ever that you're being nothing but a petulant child who indeed doesn't deserve the years ahead.

That's something friend.
In a sense I find that you understand my own thoughts but in turn don't agree with them.
Your right, there is always something new out there, but in my opinion it's monotonous, honestly.

Maybe I am a child, not worthy of the time I'm given but so is most of the world who only live to ruin others' lives the only difference is I choose not to bother anyone and am just bored and hate those who seek to make everyone miserable.

I was once told that this life is just hell on earth to decide wether we're worthy to go to heaven or not, wether I completely believe that or not is my own business but even in death there is peace.

Sorry if I'm straying from the subject, I've sort of said my opinion and am now attempting to stretch it.

The OP said that there's nothing more right now that he wants to do; not that there's simply nothing more he could do with his life. My guess is that he has absolutely no interest in doing any of the things you mentioned there, & there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I don't think it's right for you to be "disgusted" by somebody because they might not be interested in accomplishing things like parenthood & numerous scholastic achievements & whatnot during their lifetime, no matter how many years they live for. Clearly you place a lot of value in things like that. But that's just you, & you shouldn't flame others for not placing value in the same things you place value you.



Although I can kind of understand where you're coming from & all that, there was absolutely no reason that that thought of yours had to be posted. To me, that reads like a more watered down version of saying "just kill yourself already" or something.

Honestly, that comment was really childish & not acceptable.

That might be why then. It bores you cause you don't shoot for anything big. Rarely do last minute things turn out to be epic. Unless you're in like NY or something where there's hidden concerts and stuff. Even then I'm not a huge fan of that stuff.

What's the worst thing that can happen if you keep trying to make plans? You said it yourself, you're not planning on killing yourself so you're just putting yourself in a boring situation. If the more exciting things in life require planning or work, then get better at it. learn fom your past planning mistakes.

Correct it, find something you want to do. If you can't find people to do it with, then screw it, and do it by yourself. Of course this doesn't work for sex.. That requires two people at least but you see where I'm going with this. I like to go camping, but its rare that I find people to do it with, so alot of the times I go by myself.

If someone attempts to kill me I wanna know why.

So is that what this is about? You don't have people to hang out with that are like you?

Cause wait until college, then they're everywhere

No, I'm just bored with the world.

Even the kids I used to hang out with don't interest me anymore.

I guess it all comes back to the age old answer of " What purpose does my life serve other than nothing?" neutral

At this point I'm relative to a cloud, floating along in life.