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 Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 11:29 am
Talk about ironic!
I've had a baby look up my dress.
I've got your attention now. Well, it's tradition for my friends and I to wear our formal dresses to church after a big dance (and we cover what we need to). Well, I was sitting there next to a family, and the mom was sitting next to me. This little boy I babysat for crawled over to me, started pawing at my dress, and then all of a sudden, he lifts it up. Quick as lightning, I moved my dress, and started laughing quietly. The lady I was sitting next to also started laughing. Her husband (who likes to make fun of me), goes "Do I need to separate you two?"
That was one of the most fun days I've had at church.
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Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 2:47 pm
kay, I've got two stories,. both from my friends.
So, this lady was getting up to speak in church, and she starts her talk, but before she can even get into it after saying "hello, my name is" the fire alarm goes off and the building is evacuated. This happens the next week again when she tries to speak again. AND the next week after that. The fourth time, she finally just gets up there, says "I give up. The church is true. Amen." and sits down
Second story, very short: Every time the lady has to speak in church, she faints. She tried several times, but every time she stood up, her face went pale and she blacked out. THe first counsellor got very good at catching her and laying her down on the floor. He was always ready after the first two or three times.
That's it.
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Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2006 7:52 pm
So just last week, I had to give a talk. I pulled my scriptures from the bag at the podium, then I put the bag back on the podium, except I missed. My Bag (which was still heavy, because I had only taken out the BoM) Fell to the floor with a loud thump.
I also happened to give the exact same scripture as the girl who spoke before me
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Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 6:30 pm
Another church moment with LOTC:
Yesterday, before sacrement meeting, my friend was asked to give the openeing prayer. He really didn't want to, and told the bishop that, but the bishop just smiled and said "thanks a lot, steve."
So, I'm telling him that not even he could mess up the opening prayer, and if he does, no one will remember it. It's the opening prayer, right? no one remembers it.
So, he gets up from the sacrement table to the podium and starts saying the sacrement prayer. at this point he could have led it into a normal prayer, or just started over without saying anything else, but instead he says "oops, wrong prayer" then starts over.
I should have remembered that steven will always find a way to mess up. It was so hard to keep from cracking up during the rest of the prayer.
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Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 12:10 pm
we we're practacing for a song we had to perform for sacrament meeting and my friend goes:
"Man, I feel really weird being the only one high!" *beat* "That came out so different than it was in my head"
That or the time my friend (male) put on a skirt one of the girls making and went up to our YW pres and was like:
"Well you did say that I could stay if I was in a skirt."
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Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 5:00 pm
We were practicing the Praise the Man song in an after church choir yesterday and while there were about 12 guys my friend Jason was the one carrying them - you could basically hear his voice and two other guys. Well, we're singing along great and then in the middle of the song you hear: " Blessed to open this last deprevation...." lol
((supposed to be dispensation))
Well it too ages to get him to stop laughing rolleyes and by then the rest of us were cracking up and singing it wrong. xp
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Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 7:17 pm
In an old church building, the bishop asked people during the meeting to donate for a new chruch. A rich but grumpy old man stood and said, "I'll put in $5.00." Just as he sat down, a piece of the roof fell and hit him squarely on the head. He immediatley stood back up and said, "I'll do $50.00!" Then, somone near the back yelled,
"Hit him again, Lord!"
I thought this story was pretty funny. razz
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Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 7:21 pm
Also, I was giving a talk in Sacrement Meeting on the Holy Ghost a personal revelation. I meant to say, "To be able to have any form of personal revelation, one must have great faith,...."
But my tongue slipped and I said, "To be able to have any form of personal revelation, one must have great face..."
redface My sister never laughed so hard in Sacrement Meeting.... sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 7:59 am
So one time, this speaker was talking about holy places, and he said, "No matter what noise is in the background..." (and he is interrupted by a kid wailing) "...that place is still a holy place."
Same day, we had a brother come and give the lesson in teacher's quorum. He then asked us, "What are some nice things we can do for people?"
Someone responded, "We can buy them a candy bar!"
He replied: "Well, if you do that for a girl, she'll take it the wrong way. If you do that for a guy, he'll take it the wrong way and you'll get beat up."
A speaker was getting up to give his talk, and the first thing that comes out of his mouth is: "In relation to our bishop, I will keep this talk short." (Our bishop gets teased about being short all the time)
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Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 11:47 pm
I have one that my dad told me from when he was on his mission in Brazil. Well, in one of the areas he taught, there was a lady who got up to bare her testimony, and apparently she didnt know portuguese very well.
She didnt quite have all her vocabulary down, and when she tried guessing how to say a certain word, her statement came across quite differently than intended.
Originally, she was trying to say something along the lines of, "I'm so embarrased and it's all the bishop's fault." But what she ended up saying instead was, "I'm so pregnant and it's all the bishops fault." sweatdrop
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Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 8:00 am
Yeah, I had heard that one.
I have one that happened just yesterday and one that happened a month ago:
We were singing "True to the Faith" and the part where it says "Shall we shrink or shun the fight? No!" My little four year old brother yells the word "No!" at the top of his lungs. The entire congregation erupted into laughter and the chorister had to stop the hymn for a second.
I have 11:30-2:30 church. There was a speaker talking and he had already taken up about 20 minutes, so right in the middle of one of his sentences, a little kid stands up on the pew and says, "Amen! Go home!"
The next week, our Stake President was there and the first words out of his mouth were: "I will keep my talk short because I have heard of the strict time limit this ward sets on the speakers."
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Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 5:02 pm
One Sunday, A man sitting in "Sinners Row"(the pews in the far back, for those who are confused) fell asleep, and began to talk in his sleep. The young bishop at the podium must've thought that the man was contradicting everythig that was said, with a "Yeah yeah, fine."and and an occasional, "Whatever..."
After church, the bishop confronted the man, who apologized for talking in his sleep, the bishop then asked the man what he was saying in his sleep, to which the man replied, "I was having another argument with the kids!!!"
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Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 7:23 pm
Settsuko In an old church building, the bishop asked people during the meeting to donate for a new chruch. A rich but grumpy old man stood and said, "I'll put in $5.00." Just as he sat down, a piece of the roof fell and hit him squarely on the head. He immediatley stood back up and said, "I'll do $50.00!" Then, somone near the back yelled, "Hit him again, Lord!" I thought this story was pretty funny. razz Lol, that one's pretty good. xd My brother-in-law tells me that a couple years back, when he was supposed to bless the sacrament, he leaned down, hit his head on the pull-out and blurted "son of a b****!" right into the microphone. sweatdrop
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Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 7:59 pm
A lady I know was having her wedding reception in the church building, and she invited her entire ward. Everyone was having a great time, but then she noticed that the soup her husband had made for the reception had a really odd taste to it...She just shrugged it off for the time being. Later, she found out that he had made the soup three days before and never refrigerated it! They spent their wedding night throwing up and fighting over the toilet.
The next day was sunday, and since everyone in the ward had attended the reception and ate the soup, a grand total of four people showed up. Two members of the bishopric, herself, and an investigator. So, they just cancelled church for that day.
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 9:38 pm
i have two stories
1) it was the halloween party for the YW and YM well we were in the YWs room have a great time when these two girls came in they looked to be about 12 or so, but they were really tall for their age...we were used to it (we have a girl who was 6' even by the time she was 15) and me and the behive presedent walked up to them and introduced ourselves..well they took our hands and said "we already know you...we're Tyler and Jesse" one of the set of twins in the YM....
2) this happened in my friends ward. these two kids got bored of primary so they started wandering the hallways insted of going, well one day the bishop saw them and asked one of the boys to come into his office. well the bishop asked him "how are you?" and the boy didn't answer, the bishop then asked, "why aren't you in primary?" the boy still didn't answer. then finally the bishop asked, "do you know where God is?" and the little boy stood up and ran out of the office. his friend not knowing weather to go into the office or follow his friend, he followed his friend asking why they were running, and his friend yelled over his shoulder,
"GOD'S MISSING AND THEY THINK WE DID IT!"
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