LAST TIME ON STAR TREK VOYAGER ALL MY DICKENS...
Derplet daintily skipped into the room. Everything looked so lovely! Taking a swig from the bottle of cherry-flavored liquid by his side, he gazed at the streamers, the lovely gingham curtains, the darling little seats... oh, everything was so nice! So feminine! So clean, airy, and elegant! And there were so many entertaining toys about! It was the last thing he expected in a world ruled by Garbage Bags and Pearl Gray, but sometimes the shop surprised even him. However, a greater surprise was on the table! Ice cream! LOADS AND LOADS OF IT! Ice cream being AMAZING, he immediately seated himself and began to chow down.
He ate and ate and ate and got chocolate syrup everywhere. He was so focused that he didn't see the shadow rising behind him... nor did he see it raising a large blunt object...
AND NOW THE CONCLUSION.
Which was then BASHED DOWN UPON HIS HEAD. The gallon of rocky road used to end his life rolled to the side as his killer sniffed and walked away. "Don't ******** up my party. b***h." As Derplet faded into the darkness, his murderer, who might or might not have been dead herself, smiled on a job well-done. Yes, Corncrake had killed... but would it be the last time?
However, her work had not gone entirely undetected. A little d**k standing on the street corner saw EVERYTHING.
Ace Gumshoe, Reporting In!
This is Detective The Lady Chablis’s report! I have investigated thoroughly and have determined that CORNCRAKE killed Derplet! He/She/It committed this heinous crime because Derplet messed up the ice cream party she was setting up for the shop. That blood on the walls? Really chocolate syrup. All the s**t lying around? Stuff to entertain the shop regs! She used a gallon of rocky road to do the dastardly deed, but that isn’t all! Derplet can’t remember anything because he got ******** up on Robitussin in his hip flask!
And that's what really happened!
Derplet daintily skipped into the room. Everything looked so lovely! Taking a swig from the bottle of cherry-flavored liquid by his side, he gazed at the streamers, the lovely gingham curtains, the darling little seats... oh, everything was so nice! So feminine! So clean, airy, and elegant! And there were so many entertaining toys about! It was the last thing he expected in a world ruled by Garbage Bags and Pearl Gray, but sometimes the shop surprised even him. However, a greater surprise was on the table! Ice cream! LOADS AND LOADS OF IT! Ice cream being AMAZING, he immediately seated himself and began to chow down.
He ate and ate and ate and got chocolate syrup everywhere. He was so focused that he didn't see the shadow rising behind him... nor did he see it raising a large blunt object...
AND NOW THE CONCLUSION.
Which was then BASHED DOWN UPON HIS HEAD. The gallon of rocky road used to end his life rolled to the side as his killer sniffed and walked away. "Don't ******** up my party. b***h." As Derplet faded into the darkness, his murderer, who might or might not have been dead herself, smiled on a job well-done. Yes, Corncrake had killed... but would it be the last time?
However, her work had not gone entirely undetected. A little d**k standing on the street corner saw EVERYTHING.
Ace Gumshoe, Reporting In!
This is Detective The Lady Chablis’s report! I have investigated thoroughly and have determined that CORNCRAKE killed Derplet! He/She/It committed this heinous crime because Derplet messed up the ice cream party she was setting up for the shop. That blood on the walls? Really chocolate syrup. All the s**t lying around? Stuff to entertain the shop regs! She used a gallon of rocky road to do the dastardly deed, but that isn’t all! Derplet can’t remember anything because he got ******** up on Robitussin in his hip flask!
And that's what really happened!
