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 Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2010 10:28 pm
Ariashi's melancholy wasn't entirely Drashi, Arianna's or Xanthus' fault. In fact, the young stallion had always been more introverted and quiet, far less out going than his brother and herd mates. It was almost as if he'd been born with a small rain cloud that followed him around, though he always did his best to tuck it away when around others.
The loss of Arianna, his father's depression, and his brother disappearing had only exacerbated his introversion. He wasn't unhappy but he was . . . sensetive. Much more so than he tried to let on. And while he had done his best to be a good son, he still felt isolated even amongst Maikoda.
Even around Babes. . . . But then, likely, she was much more of a handful than he ever would have been, even at his worst behavior.
But that was neither here nor there. What was happening now was that both his father and brother were right here, and there was no getting away. Xanthus approached, and Ariashi couldn't help but want to cringe. His head wings flattened some at the teasing of his height and size (something he had ALWAYS been hypersensetive about). While he knew his brother meant no real harm, what upset him the most was the fact that he was here, prancing around as if nothing had changed, nothing had happened.
Maybe that was easier for his confident brother to handle but . . .Ariashi couldn't help but be unsure how he was supposed to react. He didn't want to be a killjoy though, and he wasn't going to start a scene. Snorting softly, he forced a small smile, and gave a shake of his head. "You may have gotten the height and the physique, but we all know I got the looks." It was false arrogance, everyone knew Ariashi was NOT the sort to flaunt any part of himself.
He was far too insecure about it. "Other than shrinking with age," he exaggerated, "I've been . . . well. What about you? What adventures have you found yourself in?" Ariashi really DID want to know. . . but he also worried. He could only imagine the sort of life Xanthus had lived. How long had he stayed with Arianna? How was their mother anyway? Was he a rogue, or perhaps more of a knight? Did he lead his own life or was he tied down or . . . The questions kept coming to mind, but he refrained from prying too much.
All in due time, after all. Maybe.
Glancing over at Drashi as he spoke, the gold stallion could only hope he appeared relaxed enough that the awkwardness could pass. And maybe it would, with time. "Of course it's great to have him back. I just . . . I just am having a hard time believing that he's here." And that was the truth.
How long would he be staying? It was a question that loomed over the stallion, but he didn't dare voice it. He didn't really want to know. . . Perhaps it was best if he had no expectations at all.
Ducking his head some, he gave a small nod at his father's advice. A snack would be something to focus on outside of his confliction. He was jealous of Xanthus' joy . . .how easy it looked to achieve. But joy was something Ariashi had little experience in.
(( D : I'm sorry he's kind of emo! Just shocked and . . .stuff. . . And I also blame his expression edit for dictating a lot of his personality! *hopes with some more RP with Drashi & Xanthus he'll lighten up some in time*
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Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 8:53 am
Xanthus nodded to his father, "That'd be nice. I'd love to catch up with you both," he said smiling.
He laughed at Ariashi's joke. "Yes, you are so right. You are definitely the more handsome out of us, brother." He genuinely thought that of Ari. He had more than once been jealous of his brother's golden coat, in the same way he knew Ariashi had been jealous of his own wings and confidence. Even as foals, the two had been somewhat vying against each other and their inherited qualities. He hoped his brother knew that no matter what, he loved him and never wanted to hurt him, even though he did tease a lot.
As he started towards the lake, he answered his brother's questions. "Well, I've been well. I got into a short spat with a saber-toothed female a few weeks ago, and my wing took a hit. Just a scratch really, that left me grounded for a day or two from the soreness. I've met quite an array of Soquili while on my journey. Some good, some bad. No skinwalkers though, luckily. I've made a few friends, possibly an enemy or two, but nothing to really brag about." he paused, thinking back on some of his encounters. "I see each day as a new adventure in itself, though. I look forward to what each new adventure will bring, and try to live life to it's fullest."
"How have things been here, in the herd, with you both? I remember Maion said something about some mares were expecting. Either of you the lucky fathers?" he asked, teasingly, but really wondering at the same time. "Will I get to be big brother or uncle any time soon?"
((@Uta: I hope I didn't godmod with the statement about their jealousy of each other... if you feel I have, let me know and I can change it. smile ))
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Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:12 pm
Drashi remained silent as his sons teased each other.... an outside observe who saw the discomfort in Ariashi's eyes. It was clear his son had as many questions and throughts rumbling around in his mind as he did, and the one that he knew his son would likely never ask despite needing the answer -how long would Xanthus be here. Drashi didn't know, but he to needed to know as well. Still... he couldn't, so it would remain unsaid and unanswered.
Moving closer to his son, Ariashi, he patted his sons shoulder with his nose in a reassuring manner before whispering into his ear, Yeah... me too." Then he turned back to Xanthus and started walking towards the lake. Drashi usually always went to the same spot, it was far away from the expecting mares and therefore the happiness of the foals would soon radiate by simply being.... Drashi didn't want to see their parents, the joy of being together while having their children and going so far as to plan their next; after all Drashi was under no illusions that both couples would stay together through thick and thin. Renesme and Rune had been trying for years to fall pregnant, and Alice and Jasper where so close sometimes Drashi felt that the relationship he had had with Arrianna had only touched the surface of their true potential. Still, he felt the love he had for that mare all the way to his heart, so much so it stung still. Drashi suspected it forever would.
Still, Drashi listened to his son and the adventures he had had lately, he wondered is Arashi would ever have such things? It had been a while since Arashi and Drashi had actually talked, so maybe this little 'catch up' with Xanthus would do them both some good.
Everything was fine until Xanthus's last words hit his ears. Instinctively his ear wings dropped down on his head followed by his ears. No, he was not going to be a father soon..... nor was Arashi -as far as he knew anyway- but the fact that Xanthus had asked with such a light tone made Drashi think of the past... of what he had and lost, and one question screamed out at him... had Arianna moved on? He gulped, his mouth suddenly bone dry and ignoring him. He would have answered, said something if he could.... still, his emotions started whirling like a storm within him. So much so that he couldn't take it, couldn't stand to let his sons see the sadness in his eyes that reached down to his soul. Picking up the pace he tried to make it look like he was simply taking the lead... still the tears threatened to fall. Part of Drashi longed to relive and do over his time with Arianna, to get the news of their expantancy all over again.
Somehow Drashi managed to compose himself enough to say; "Not I." The lake was stunning, standing before them with its shimmering water dancing and rippling with life and colour. It didn't have a care in the world... sometimes Drashi wished he was one with the water.
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Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 12:31 am
Ariashi listened to his brother speak. The confidence he wore, that breezy smile, it was as if he hadn't skipped a beat! It was as if he had never left, and that was what drove the golden angeni to inward frustration.
But there was no need to confront Xanthus. Ariashi had never been clear on the details, whether his brother had left willingly or had done so to stay with Arianna and keep her company. And if he did go with their mother, was it because she asked? Did Arianna prefer Xanthus over himself?
It was a question he never mentioned, never spoke of, and likely never would. As his life had always been fairly competitive with that of his brother, him leaving with Arianna had left a lot of questions to sit upon his shoulders. . . And given, he never had been particularly outgoing, he hadn't ever found the courage to speak about his fears with Drashi.
Either way, the golden coated son decided to do his damndest to shrug his feelings aside. Xanthus truly meant no harm, and it was good to see him again. . . "Sounds like you've had quite the adventure," he murmured appreciatively, giving his tail a small swish as they walked. "My life. . . isn't nearly as exciting. You make it sound so easy though. . . but then. . . that's a trait you've always had." And that was the truth! At least, in Ariashi's eyes such was the case . . .
Already, the ebony haired stallion could feel insecurity rear its ugly head. Once again, everything seemed right with Xanthus . . he even had the right words to say, the positive, glass-half-full attitude that Ariashi just couldn't find. Still, as they continued, Ari's head wings flared a bit in concern as Drashi pushed on ahead. . . .
While he wasn't close to his father, due to his own often reclusive nature, he wasn't dumb, and he certainly wasn't blind. He knew Drashi had never gotton over Arianna, and had never gotten over the loss of Xanthus. Surely, he had to be feeling overwhelmed too. . . in fact, he'd almost admitted it during his whisper! Trying not to draw attention to the tender subject, the golden one gave a small snort and shake of his head.
"Hardly. There's only one mare I know outside the herd, and she's . . . well. . .she's something else. We're just friends, anyway." He shrugged, as if he too believed that. And he did. They WERE friends . . . but the dynamics of their friendship were already starting to cross lines. But, it was Babette, an she seemed to cross lines and flirt with everyone.
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 3:57 am
((Sorry for the wall-o-text.))
Xanthus noticed how his father's head wings drooped at the mention of the expecting mothers. He instantly felt embarassed and a bit ashamed at bringing up such a touchy subject. He should have known something like that might be hard to talk about with his father, but he really didn't know how much he might be hurting, or how Ari felt about it at all.
He himself had never really thought much about the effects of his mother's actions might cause until more recently. He had had a happy foalhood spending every day with his mother until he had grown, when he finally decided he wanted to set out on his own adventure in the world. He had asked her once why they had left daddy and Ari, and her reply had left him curious but he had never asked again. She had told him that while she loved his father and brother, she felt that she wasn't free while she remained in the Miakoda lands. Xanthus being still so young, hadn't quite understood, but accepted that it was his mother's choice. She had taken him with her because she couldn't bear to leave both her children behind, even though she knew it would hurt one to lose the other. She had been selfish in that choice. Xanthus never knew exactly why she had taken him with her instead of Ari, but had the feeling that it was because he resembled his father so much. She wanted a reminder of him with her ...
Even though he didn't know how much it must have torn at both his father and brother when they left, he still wanted to try and mend those wounds he had caused, but he wasn't sure how. He wasn't the greatest expert on feelings, and probably came across as insensitive at times. Right now, he wasn't sure how to approach the topic, and so, left it alone until it really came into conversation.
He noticed his father move ahead and lead them to a spot by the lake, barely catching his reply to the question he had asked. "Oh," was his response. He wondered if this was too much for him.... were the wounds from his and Arianna's departure still so open that seeing him again had only caused more pain, rather than happiness for him? He wanted to help heal those wounds, but was he the one to do it?
His ears perked at his brother's voice, drawing him from his thoughts. His adventure had been great so far, but was it what he was wanting? Had he found the life he wanted, or was there more out there for him? He wasn't sure yet. He did know that he wanted to give himself the chance to know his father and brother again, and to feel like part of a family again. That was the main reason for his returning to the Miakoda lands. He didn't know if he was going to leave again, or if he would make this his home again, given he was accepted here. He felt as if he might be resented, but hoped that if he chose to stay, his father and brother would forgive him and welcome him home. He wasn't sure what he was really waiting for to make the decision, but felt that he should wait, and not promise anything right now.
"It's really not that exciting.." he said, a bit of a laugh in his voice. He paused. "You think things were easy for me?" he asked quietly, a bit of shock in his voice. He thought on this. Were things easier for him than for Ari? Was it the size difference between them, or their difference in strength? No, he didn't think that was what Ari was referring to. He had meant that life had been easier for him...because of many reasons. "I'll admit some things have come easier for me, but I've also had to work hard at some as well. I've always thought you were the more intelligent one between us. You probably still are." he smiled at his brother.
At his brother's mention of a female, he couldn't help but smile wider. "Well, even if she's just a friend, I'm happy for you. Friends are just as important as any other relationship." He wondered if Ari hoped for more from the relationship, but decided to leave it be. He himself had once felt that way towards a mare, but she hadn't returned the feelings, and only wanted to remain friends. They had, but he had distanced himself from her more recently, hoping his feelings for her might dissipate. ((OOC: this is before Xanthus met Akari))
As they arrived at the water's edge, he bent down to take another drink from the cool water lapping at the bank's edge. The sun sparkled off the surface, giving the whole scene a very majestic feeling. He sighed and settled down onto the bank next to his father, tucking his legs under him and his wings down by his side. He found himself asking a lot of questions to himself, but wasn't sure what to say to his father and brother.
"It's beautiful here..." he said aloud. "Maion says it's changed a lot since... " he trailed off. "What I meant was.. I thought it looked the same as I remembered but he said some things have changed. I heard him mention something about duty to you Father... are you part of the herd's defenses? I'd love to hear about both your lives and how you've been." he said. He hoped that would be a good starting point for them to get to know each other again.
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Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 11:35 am
Drashi sat, allowing the calming sensations of watching the water sweep over him, he looked to Ariashi, hoping that he could read his son better and see how he was coping with all of this. Drashi may not have been the best father but he had tried... if Arashi had ever wanted something Drashi had always tried his best to do it, the truth was Arashi rarely asked. Had Drashi's heartache really caused such a large drift between him and his son? He hoped not, hoped that he could heal any damage done... between them both.
As the boys spoke Drashi found himself learning knew things about them both... most suprising of which was that Arashi had a friend... who was a girl! He was sure there was a stunned expression on his face. "A girl...." He said, a soft chuckle laced in his voice and for a moment Drashi found himself snapping out of everything, found himself simply enjoying the moment with his sons. "...now this is something I would love to hear more on Arashi.... who is this mare? Do I get to meet her?" He smiled softly, he had always hoped for the best for both of his sons -even long after Xanthus had left with his mother, after all it wasn't Xanthus's fault... and for the most part it probably wasn't Arianna's fault either. Fate had brought them together and then ripped them apart.
Was it really better to have loved and lost rather than never having loved at all?
His attention turned to Xanthus as he spoke, "I can hear... more than just your words. You ok? She break your heart?" Perhaps he had something in common with Xanthus even after all this time... yet strangely Drashi found himself want to take Xanthus's pain in as his own, to save his son from ever having experience it.
At the change of subject Drashi nodded his head; "Yes.... for the most part I am in charge of training the herds protectors and carrying out my fathers (Maions) orders. Ask what you will Xanthus and I will try to answer." He smiled again, he really would try to answer ANY question his son may have, even about that time....!
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Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 8:27 pm
Ariashi truly did feel as if the spirits had smiled down upon his brother. While he had jested that he possessed the looks, Ariashi had always looked up to his brother. Xanthus had always seemed much more confident, had always been bigger than him (but even Babette was bigger than him, unfortunately. It wasn't a difficult feat to achieve. . . ) And had always seemed . . . well. . . happy. Maybe it was all about the way one perceived himself, but the golden winged stallion really believed that his brothers life was much simpler.
Maybe Ari worried too much. . . . He had fretted over the loss of his mother, the loss of his brother, an his fathers heart break. He knew Drashi had done his best, had always been there when he did need him . . . .but then again, Ariashi had always been quiet and incredibly reserved. He kept to himself, and tried his best not to get under foot. He wasn't a warrior or even a good guardian, not like the others in the herd; he loved Maikoda, certainly, but sometimes he just felt as if he wasn't up to par with everyone else.
His head wings flared lightly as both his brother and father questioned his friendship with Babes. He had always intended to introduce her to his father, but then again, the brown mare had lived a flighty life. She came and went on a whim, did what she pleased, and there was no one to stop her. It wasn't easy to keep her tied down, and Ariashi doubted she'd ever settle. "Well . . . She's just a friend, honest," he stammered out, a small smile crossing his features. "But I've known her since just before you left," he added with a small nod. "Her name's Babette . . . er. . . Babes, I guess, and . . " He smiled slightly at Drashi, giving a small shrug. "If she'd ever stay in the area longer than ten minutes, of course I'd introduce you to her. The problem is she's . . .well. . . feisty I guess is the best way to put it. Very independent. I never know when I'll see her again when she leaves but . . . she comes back to visit now and again."
They had an odd friendship, to say the least, but it worked. And he wouldn't trade it for the world.
Still, he didn't want his brother or father to read too much in to it! "But honest. . . just friends." It surprised Ariashi some to realize his father hadn't known or heard of Babette . . . They'd been friends for so long, he was almost sure to have mentioned her. Then again, Ariashi knew he wasn't exactly the most talkative or open with his father. . . But there was always something more important happening - an attack on the herd, resident skinwalkers, births of foals, new family arriving. . or in Xanthus and Arianna's case, leaving. . . . "But enough about me. I'm just glad to know you've been well. It . . . It really is good to see you again, Xan," he affirmed, his smile softening some. Less forced, more natural. . . . .
He really was glad to see his brother again. It was just . . a shock that he was suddenly back in the herd, back in their life. Now the question was, for how long?
To shake the conversation off of himself (he never was comfortable in the spotlight) the stallion stepped forward and forced himself to drink. He'd make it a long one, in hopes that his brother and father could refocus their attention on one another.
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 1:35 pm
His father's question... break his heart, no. It was more like she wasn't ready for a relationship not long after her own heart had been broken, and so, he had been the gentleman and not pressed the matter. He still felt strong feelings for her, but would not act on them out of respect for her own. "No, nothing like that. Like Ari with his Babette, we're just friends," he said, forcing a smile.
He looked towards his brother. "It's great you have someone like that in your life. I'm happy for you, whether it becomes more or not. And it's great to see you both again," he paused a moment, "I'm sorry it's been so long... but what counts is the here and now, and not the past right?"
He looked back to Drashi. " In charge? Wow. That must be an honor. I look forward to being under your direction during my training, though, I would like to spend time with you two before we begin. Maybe Ari might join us?" he said, chuckling at the last bit. "What do you think Ari?"
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Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2011 2:58 am
Drashi listened with a keen intrest as Arashi spoke of Babes, there was a fondness in his voice that he recognised well... and he wondered if his son even realised it was there? Perhaps not. Sometimes with this type of thing it didn't hit you until the last minute, and with such a force you would have believed it could have knocked over the whole forest. Still, for the first time in a while Drashi felt.... whole.
Part of Drashi, a small part.... could almost recall something about Babes, but he couldn't place it. Wishful thinking perhaps. Drashi had always wanted to be better for his son....
Both of his sons sounded happy, for the most part at least, with mares -be they friends or more- in their lives; he only hoped they had better luck than he did. It wasn't that he blaimed Arianna for leaving, she had done what was best for her of course, but he still felt the twang of hurt that refused to leave him.
Perhaps now..... perhaps now he could finally put it behind him.
He had taken a mouth full of water just as Xathus asked about training. It shocked him. His head turning towards him as he swallowed hard. Had his son just asked for him to train him? It seemed so. He nodded, not trusting his own voice yet, he turned to Ariashi, noting that he was 'avoiding' the conversation by drinking his fill instead. With a soft sigh he turned to face Xanthus once more. "The honour is mine. And if Arashi wishes to join us that is fine by me." He smiled, a true and unforced smile. "Bright and early Xanthus. We train as the sun rises."
Then he turned his attention to the water, in a manner that was similar to Arashis... perhaps he had picked something up from Drashi after all these years... avoidance techniques. He winced at the thought.
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Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2014 6:15 am
Do you two want to continue this RP?
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