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 Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 7:57 pm
Aakosir Chieftain Twilight it has nothing to do with him thinking you are inadequate. it is that what he does notice is that you seem to notice things he doesn't, and that you think lowly of yourself! look, i'm wanting to be the guy here to say that everyone on this thread should stop talking about the behaviors of men and women with such generality, but i can't realy do that effectively when i'm about to say what i am. it seems to me like ALL women think they arn't good enough, and have this drive to secure their significant other as though they could slip away on the slightest breeze. it upsets me. sad i hate seeing so much self-loathing in any group. i hate seeing these rivalries, and competitions between women and girls over the lifemates they want, the job positions they want, the wealth they want, whatever. i hate seeing people bow and scrape to unrealistic effigies of the human form. i hate to see cases of peoples' low self-esteem driving them to complete hysteric paranoia that they will somehow be kicked to the curve and left to die alone. it WON"T happen that way! gonk what can men do to convince the women they love to love themselves, and have some confidence, and to trust them, and to feel pretty, and to know that they are loved and wanted and desired? tell your husband what it is you need to see as proof, so he can get it for you. and while your at it, tell me what the secret is too, please? gonk My phone is being stupid so no color... My reason for feeling this way is the lack of attention. He never tells me I'm pretty. He never says I'm amazing or good or whatever. He only compliments my cooking when I pull his teeth. And I'm not a bad cook. I just don't cook like mommy -.-'... And I gurantee if I bring it up again I will get the same "someone put it on there". Which may be true. But I can't tell if he's lying... I've told him I need more attention. I haven't gone out with anyone in over a month. I've been in the house waiting for him to get home and taking care of our daughter. I get no attention from anyone other than those two. They are my life. It sucks that I get no breaks from being a mom. It feels like he doesn't even acknowledge me for taking care of his daughter. Not like he pays much attention to her anyways... I dunno. You know I almost wonder if it just might be stress in general that may be the source of the problem, manifesting itself in odd ways. I'd see if there's any way you can have him take care of your daughter for a day or two and take some time to relax, clear your mind, then come back to the situation and look at it with a clear head instead of loaded with stresses from child raising, waiting, etc. You might see it a bit different. When we feel stressed out we tend to look at the world with bias, glossing over certain things and over emphasizing others.
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Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:19 pm
Chieftain Twilight it has nothing to do with him thinking you are inadequate. it is that what he does notice is that you seem to notice things he doesn't, and that you think lowly of yourself! look, i'm wanting to be the guy here to say that everyone on this thread should stop talking about the behaviors of men and women with such generality, but i can't realy do that effectively when i'm about to say what i am. it seems to me like ALL women think they arn't good enough, and have this drive to secure their significant other as though they could slip away on the slightest breeze. it upsets me. sad i hate seeing so much self-loathing in any group. i hate seeing these rivalries, and competitions between women and girls over the lifemates they want, the job positions they want, the wealth they want, whatever. i hate seeing people bow and scrape to unrealistic effigies of the human form. i hate to see cases of peoples' low self-esteem driving them to complete hysteric paranoia that they will somehow be kicked to the curve and left to die alone. it WON"T happen that way! gonk what can men do to convince the women they love to love themselves, and have some confidence, and to trust them, and to feel pretty, and to know that they are loved and wanted and desired? tell your husband what it is you need to see as proof, so he can get it for you. and while your at it, tell me what the secret is too, please? gonk I'd deny it but I do it myself. Then again, I know which point in my life pointed me in that behavioral direction. In my case, when I was growing up I was one of those extremely high IQ children, actually had a laboratory set up in my bedroom kid you not. Then, I get raped for several years by a family member and start flunking out of all my classes, making me miss the opportunity to go to a specialty school that was specifically designed to groom budding scientists and mathematicians, moved my way thereafter to minimum wage work, drug use, all the classic symptoms. Although recently I actually forgave the rapist and I haven't had nearly as many inadequacy issues, but again I knew specifically where that seed germ stemmed from. (It helps as well finally breaking free of the minimum wage for 15 hours a week cycle as well.) I'm going to give it more time before I draw any hard conclusions about the power of forgiveness to change one's behavioral patterns though. I'm sure Freud would still be proud.
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Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 9:24 pm
Chieftain Twilight it has nothing to do with him thinking you are inadequate. it is that what he does notice is that you seem to notice things he doesn't, and that you think lowly of yourself! look, i'm wanting to be the guy here to say that everyone on this thread should stop talking about the behaviors of men and women with such generality, but i can't realy do that effectively when i'm about to say what i am. it seems to me like ALL women think they arn't good enough, and have this drive to secure their significant other as though they could slip away on the slightest breeze. it upsets me. sad i hate seeing so much self-loathing in any group. i hate seeing these rivalries, and competitions between women and girls over the lifemates they want, the job positions they want, the wealth they want, whatever. i hate seeing people bow and scrape to unrealistic effigies of the human form. i hate to see cases of peoples' low self-esteem driving them to complete hysteric paranoia that they will somehow be kicked to the curve and left to die alone. it WON"T happen that way! gonk what can men do to convince the women they love to love themselves, and have some confidence, and to trust them, and to feel pretty, and to know that they are loved and wanted and desired? tell your husband what it is you need to see as proof, so he can get it for you. and while your at it, tell me what the secret is too, please? gonk
@Aakosir: From personal experience and experience with others, the best way to get over trust issues is to place your trust in someone you feel safe with even if it's scary to you. Trust is a two way street, and you can only gain so much before you have to give some of your own.
About him hiding things from you, I still recommend trying to trust him more and assume the best instead of looking for the worst. If you stop looking, he'll probably stop hiding. And if you start trusting, he might feel more comfortable talking about it rather than hiding it. And by all means, don't ignore things you're concerned about. But maybe you both establish mutual trust, you'll both be able to talk more openly about your insecurities.
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Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 11:50 pm
Aakosir Chieftain Twilight it has nothing to do with him thinking you are inadequate. it is that what he does notice is that you seem to notice things he doesn't, and that you think lowly of yourself! look, i'm wanting to be the guy here to say that everyone on this thread should stop talking about the behaviors of men and women with such generality, but i can't realy do that effectively when i'm about to say what i am. it seems to me like ALL women think they arn't good enough, and have this drive to secure their significant other as though they could slip away on the slightest breeze. it upsets me. sad i hate seeing so much self-loathing in any group. i hate seeing these rivalries, and competitions between women and girls over the lifemates they want, the job positions they want, the wealth they want, whatever. i hate seeing people bow and scrape to unrealistic effigies of the human form. i hate to see cases of peoples' low self-esteem driving them to complete hysteric paranoia that they will somehow be kicked to the curve and left to die alone. it WON"T happen that way! gonk what can men do to convince the women they love to love themselves, and have some confidence, and to trust them, and to feel pretty, and to know that they are loved and wanted and desired? tell your husband what it is you need to see as proof, so he can get it for you. and while your at it, tell me what the secret is too, please? gonk My phone is being stupid so no color... My reason for feeling this way is the lack of attention. He never tells me I'm pretty. He never says I'm amazing or good or whatever. He only compliments my cooking when I pull his teeth. And I'm not a bad cook. I just don't cook like mommy -.-'... And I gurantee if I bring it up again I will get the same "someone put it on there". Which may be true. But I can't tell if he's lying... I've told him I need more attention. I haven't gone out with anyone in over a month. I've been in the house waiting for him to get home and taking care of our daughter. I get no attention from anyone other than those two. They are my life. It sucks that I get no breaks from being a mom. It feels like he doesn't even acknowledge me for taking care of his daughter. Not like he pays much attention to her anyways... I dunno. hmm... confused that sounds like a problem that he needs to address in himself... I suggest he see a Fatherhood Councilor. I remember how completely different behaved when I was left alone with Quadruplets... I was so terrified of having a psychotic break and killing them that I left someone else with them... it's nowhere near the same, but my point is that dramatic changes in life can cause psychological effects that if not acknowledged and handled right away can be devastating. the tough part might be to convince him to see a Therapist of any kind. if you've been telling him blatantly the same thing over and over and he just keeps this up, and on top of that is playing hermit.... than the situation is very serious in it's own right, even though it has nothing to do with cheating. I now retract my "don't worry" statement. ._. get him some help. at the very least, try to get him to talk to you about whatever it is that's bothering him. and don't settle for gruff surface answers; get him to spill the deep root emotions. =.=
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Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 11:53 pm
Lateralus es Helica Chieftain Twilight it has nothing to do with him thinking you are inadequate. it is that what he does notice is that you seem to notice things he doesn't, and that you think lowly of yourself! look, i'm wanting to be the guy here to say that everyone on this thread should stop talking about the behaviors of men and women with such generality, but i can't realy do that effectively when i'm about to say what i am. it seems to me like ALL women think they arn't good enough, and have this drive to secure their significant other as though they could slip away on the slightest breeze. it upsets me. sad i hate seeing so much self-loathing in any group. i hate seeing these rivalries, and competitions between women and girls over the lifemates they want, the job positions they want, the wealth they want, whatever. i hate seeing people bow and scrape to unrealistic effigies of the human form. i hate to see cases of peoples' low self-esteem driving them to complete hysteric paranoia that they will somehow be kicked to the curve and left to die alone. it WON"T happen that way! gonk what can men do to convince the women they love to love themselves, and have some confidence, and to trust them, and to feel pretty, and to know that they are loved and wanted and desired? tell your husband what it is you need to see as proof, so he can get it for you. and while your at it, tell me what the secret is too, please? gonk I'd deny it but I do it myself. Then again, I know which point in my life pointed me in that behavioral direction. In my case, when I was growing up I was one of those extremely high IQ children, actually had a laboratory set up in my bedroom kid you not. Then, I get raped for several years by a family member and start flunking out of all my classes, making me miss the opportunity to go to a specialty school that was specifically designed to groom budding scientists and mathematicians, moved my way thereafter to minimum wage work, drug use, all the classic symptoms. Although recently I actually forgave the rapist and I haven't had nearly as many inadequacy issues, but again I knew specifically where that seed germ stemmed from. (It helps as well finally breaking free of the minimum wage for 15 hours a week cycle as well.) I'm going to give it more time before I draw any hard conclusions about the power of forgiveness to change one's behavioral patterns though. I'm sure Freud would still be proud. :nods.: it's definitely not as genetic as people like to think it is, that womanly attraction to self-loathing, and an inclination to anorexia. it it primarily a product of society, and the media. of expectations by both.
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Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 11:55 pm
brainnsoup Chieftain Twilight it has nothing to do with him thinking you are inadequate. it is that what he does notice is that you seem to notice things he doesn't, and that you think lowly of yourself! look, i'm wanting to be the guy here to say that everyone on this thread should stop talking about the behaviors of men and women with such generality, but i can't realy do that effectively when i'm about to say what i am. it seems to me like ALL women think they arn't good enough, and have this drive to secure their significant other as though they could slip away on the slightest breeze. it upsets me. sad i hate seeing so much self-loathing in any group. i hate seeing these rivalries, and competitions between women and girls over the lifemates they want, the job positions they want, the wealth they want, whatever. i hate seeing people bow and scrape to unrealistic effigies of the human form. i hate to see cases of peoples' low self-esteem driving them to complete hysteric paranoia that they will somehow be kicked to the curve and left to die alone. it WON"T happen that way! gonk what can men do to convince the women they love to love themselves, and have some confidence, and to trust them, and to feel pretty, and to know that they are loved and wanted and desired? tell your husband what it is you need to see as proof, so he can get it for you. and while your at it, tell me what the secret is too, please? gonk
@Aakosir: From personal experience and experience with others, the best way to get over trust issues is to place your trust in someone you feel safe with even if it's scary to you. Trust is a two way street, and you can only gain so much before you have to give some of your own.
About him hiding things from you, I still recommend trying to trust him more and assume the best instead of looking for the worst. If you stop looking, he'll probably stop hiding. And if you start trusting, he might feel more comfortable talking about it rather than hiding it. And by all means, don't ignore things you're concerned about. But maybe you both establish mutual trust, you'll both be able to talk more openly about your insecurities.:nods.: yeh, something I feel stupid for not thinking about tonight... I'm usually the one mentioning it. sweatdrop thanks.
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Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 7:34 am
Chieftain Twilight it has nothing to do with him thinking you are inadequate. it is that what he does notice is that you seem to notice things he doesn't, and that you think lowly of yourself! This ^
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Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 12:31 pm
Lateralus es Helica Aakosir Chieftain Twilight it has nothing to do with him thinking you are inadequate. it is that what he does notice is that you seem to notice things he doesn't, and that you think lowly of yourself! look, i'm wanting to be the guy here to say that everyone on this thread should stop talking about the behaviors of men and women with such generality, but i can't realy do that effectively when i'm about to say what i am. it seems to me like ALL women think they arn't good enough, and have this drive to secure their significant other as though they could slip away on the slightest breeze. it upsets me. sad i hate seeing so much self-loathing in any group. i hate seeing these rivalries, and competitions between women and girls over the lifemates they want, the job positions they want, the wealth they want, whatever. i hate seeing people bow and scrape to unrealistic effigies of the human form. i hate to see cases of peoples' low self-esteem driving them to complete hysteric paranoia that they will somehow be kicked to the curve and left to die alone. it WON"T happen that way! gonk what can men do to convince the women they love to love themselves, and have some confidence, and to trust them, and to feel pretty, and to know that they are loved and wanted and desired? tell your husband what it is you need to see as proof, so he can get it for you. and while your at it, tell me what the secret is too, please? gonk My phone is being stupid so no color... My reason for feeling this way is the lack of attention. He never tells me I'm pretty. He never says I'm amazing or good or whatever. He only compliments my cooking when I pull his teeth. And I'm not a bad cook. I just don't cook like mommy -.-'... And I gurantee if I bring it up again I will get the same "someone put it on there". Which may be true. But I can't tell if he's lying... I've told him I need more attention. I haven't gone out with anyone in over a month. I've been in the house waiting for him to get home and taking care of our daughter. I get no attention from anyone other than those two. They are my life. It sucks that I get no breaks from being a mom. It feels like he doesn't even acknowledge me for taking care of his daughter. Not like he pays much attention to her anyways... I dunno. You know I almost wonder if it just might be stress in general that may be the source of the problem, manifesting itself in odd ways. I'd see if there's any way you can have him take care of your daughter for a day or two and take some time to relax, clear your mind, then come back to the situation and look at it with a clear head instead of loaded with stresses from child raising, waiting, etc. You might see it a bit different. When we feel stressed out we tend to look at the world with bias, glossing over certain things and over emphasizing others.
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Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 12:36 pm
Lateralus es Helica Chieftain Twilight it has nothing to do with him thinking you are inadequate. it is that what he does notice is that you seem to notice things he doesn't, and that you think lowly of yourself! look, i'm wanting to be the guy here to say that everyone on this thread should stop talking about the behaviors of men and women with such generality, but i can't realy do that effectively when i'm about to say what i am. it seems to me like ALL women think they arn't good enough, and have this drive to secure their significant other as though they could slip away on the slightest breeze. it upsets me. sad i hate seeing so much self-loathing in any group. i hate seeing these rivalries, and competitions between women and girls over the lifemates they want, the job positions they want, the wealth they want, whatever. i hate seeing people bow and scrape to unrealistic effigies of the human form. i hate to see cases of peoples' low self-esteem driving them to complete hysteric paranoia that they will somehow be kicked to the curve and left to die alone. it WON"T happen that way! gonk what can men do to convince the women they love to love themselves, and have some confidence, and to trust them, and to feel pretty, and to know that they are loved and wanted and desired? tell your husband what it is you need to see as proof, so he can get it for you. and while your at it, tell me what the secret is too, please? gonk I'd deny it but I do it myself. Then again, I know which point in my life pointed me in that behavioral direction. In my case, when I was growing up I was one of those extremely high IQ children, actually had a laboratory set up in my bedroom kid you not. Then, I get raped for several years by a family member and start flunking out of all my classes, making me miss the opportunity to go to a specialty school that was specifically designed to groom budding scientists and mathematicians, moved my way thereafter to minimum wage work, drug use, all the classic symptoms. Although recently I actually forgave the rapist and I haven't had nearly as many inadequacy issues, but again I knew specifically where that seed germ stemmed from. (It helps as well finally breaking free of the minimum wage for 15 hours a week cycle as well.) I'm going to give it more time before I draw any hard conclusions about the power of forgiveness to change one's behavioral patterns though. I'm sure Freud would still be proud.
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Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 12:41 pm
brainnsoup Chieftain Twilight it has nothing to do with him thinking you are inadequate. it is that what he does notice is that you seem to notice things he doesn't, and that you think lowly of yourself! look, i'm wanting to be the guy here to say that everyone on this thread should stop talking about the behaviors of men and women with such generality, but i can't realy do that effectively when i'm about to say what i am. it seems to me like ALL women think they arn't good enough, and have this drive to secure their significant other as though they could slip away on the slightest breeze. it upsets me. sad i hate seeing so much self-loathing in any group. i hate seeing these rivalries, and competitions between women and girls over the lifemates they want, the job positions they want, the wealth they want, whatever. i hate seeing people bow and scrape to unrealistic effigies of the human form. i hate to see cases of peoples' low self-esteem driving them to complete hysteric paranoia that they will somehow be kicked to the curve and left to die alone. it WON"T happen that way! gonk what can men do to convince the women they love to love themselves, and have some confidence, and to trust them, and to feel pretty, and to know that they are loved and wanted and desired? tell your husband what it is you need to see as proof, so he can get it for you. and while your at it, tell me what the secret is too, please? gonk
@Aakosir: From personal experience and experience with others, the best way to get over trust issues is to place your trust in someone you feel safe with even if it's scary to you. Trust is a two way street, and you can only gain so much before you have to give some of your own.
About him hiding things from you, I still recommend trying to trust him more and assume the best instead of looking for the worst. If you stop looking, he'll probably stop hiding. And if you start trusting, he might feel more comfortable talking about it rather than hiding it. And by all means, don't ignore things you're concerned about. But maybe you both establish mutual trust, you'll both be able to talk more openly about your insecurities.
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Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 12:49 pm
Chieftain Twilight Aakosir Chieftain Twilight it has nothing to do with him thinking you are inadequate. it is that what he does notice is that you seem to notice things he doesn't, and that you think lowly of yourself! look, i'm wanting to be the guy here to say that everyone on this thread should stop talking about the behaviors of men and women with such generality, but i can't realy do that effectively when i'm about to say what i am. it seems to me like ALL women think they arn't good enough, and have this drive to secure their significant other as though they could slip away on the slightest breeze. it upsets me. sad i hate seeing so much self-loathing in any group. i hate seeing these rivalries, and competitions between women and girls over the lifemates they want, the job positions they want, the wealth they want, whatever. i hate seeing people bow and scrape to unrealistic effigies of the human form. i hate to see cases of peoples' low self-esteem driving them to complete hysteric paranoia that they will somehow be kicked to the curve and left to die alone. it WON"T happen that way! gonk what can men do to convince the women they love to love themselves, and have some confidence, and to trust them, and to feel pretty, and to know that they are loved and wanted and desired? tell your husband what it is you need to see as proof, so he can get it for you. and while your at it, tell me what the secret is too, please? gonk My phone is being stupid so no color... My reason for feeling this way is the lack of attention. He never tells me I'm pretty. He never says I'm amazing or good or whatever. He only compliments my cooking when I pull his teeth. And I'm not a bad cook. I just don't cook like mommy -.-'... And I gurantee if I bring it up again I will get the same "someone put it on there". Which may be true. But I can't tell if he's lying... I've told him I need more attention. I haven't gone out with anyone in over a month. I've been in the house waiting for him to get home and taking care of our daughter. I get no attention from anyone other than those two. They are my life. It sucks that I get no breaks from being a mom. It feels like he doesn't even acknowledge me for taking care of his daughter. Not like he pays much attention to her anyways... I dunno. hmm... confused that sounds like a problem that he needs to address in himself... I suggest he see a Fatherhood Councilor. I remember how completely different behaved when I was left alone with Quadruplets... I was so terrified of having a psychotic break and killing them that I left someone else with them... it's nowhere near the same, but my point is that dramatic changes in life can cause psychological effects that if not acknowledged and handled right away can be devastating. the tough part might be to convince him to see a Therapist of any kind. if you've been telling him blatantly the same thing over and over and he just keeps this up, and on top of that is playing hermit.... than the situation is very serious in it's own right, even though it has nothing to do with cheating. I now retract my "don't worry" statement. ._. get him some help. at the very least, try to get him to talk to you about whatever it is that's bothering him. and don't settle for gruff surface answers; get him to spill the deep root emotions. =.=
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Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 12:50 pm
And I seriously thank all of you for even the slightest input. I am thinking about it all a lot now.
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Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 1:00 pm
:hugs you tightly.: I just wish I could be even more help, but the fact of the matter is, that neither I, nor you, can make up his mind for him. sad
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Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 6:30 pm
Aakosir Lateralus es Helica Chieftain Twilight it has nothing to do with him thinking you are inadequate. it is that what he does notice is that you seem to notice things he doesn't, and that you think lowly of yourself! look, i'm wanting to be the guy here to say that everyone on this thread should stop talking about the behaviors of men and women with such generality, but i can't realy do that effectively when i'm about to say what i am. it seems to me like ALL women think they arn't good enough, and have this drive to secure their significant other as though they could slip away on the slightest breeze. it upsets me. sad i hate seeing so much self-loathing in any group. i hate seeing these rivalries, and competitions between women and girls over the lifemates they want, the job positions they want, the wealth they want, whatever. i hate seeing people bow and scrape to unrealistic effigies of the human form. i hate to see cases of peoples' low self-esteem driving them to complete hysteric paranoia that they will somehow be kicked to the curve and left to die alone. it WON"T happen that way! gonk what can men do to convince the women they love to love themselves, and have some confidence, and to trust them, and to feel pretty, and to know that they are loved and wanted and desired? tell your husband what it is you need to see as proof, so he can get it for you. and while your at it, tell me what the secret is too, please? gonk I'd deny it but I do it myself. Then again, I know which point in my life pointed me in that behavioral direction. In my case, when I was growing up I was one of those extremely high IQ children, actually had a laboratory set up in my bedroom kid you not. Then, I get raped for several years by a family member and start flunking out of all my classes, making me miss the opportunity to go to a specialty school that was specifically designed to groom budding scientists and mathematicians, moved my way thereafter to minimum wage work, drug use, all the classic symptoms. Although recently I actually forgave the rapist and I haven't had nearly as many inadequacy issues, but again I knew specifically where that seed germ stemmed from. (It helps as well finally breaking free of the minimum wage for 15 hours a week cycle as well.) I'm going to give it more time before I draw any hard conclusions about the power of forgiveness to change one's behavioral patterns though. I'm sure Freud would still be proud. I did it mainly because of my journey into Theravada Buddhism. Forgiving a rapist is one thing I never thought I'd do previously, actually I used to think they all deserved the death penalty. Now...it was actually sort of a relief to let that hatred go. Letting go of extra baggage. And you're welcome. I wish I could be more help! If you were in the Dallas area I'd be of more support. cool
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Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 6:46 pm
Lateralus es Helica Aakosir Lateralus es Helica Chieftain Twilight it has nothing to do with him thinking you are inadequate. it is that what he does notice is that you seem to notice things he doesn't, and that you think lowly of yourself! look, i'm wanting to be the guy here to say that everyone on this thread should stop talking about the behaviors of men and women with such generality, but i can't realy do that effectively when i'm about to say what i am. it seems to me like ALL women think they arn't good enough, and have this drive to secure their significant other as though they could slip away on the slightest breeze. it upsets me. sad i hate seeing so much self-loathing in any group. i hate seeing these rivalries, and competitions between women and girls over the lifemates they want, the job positions they want, the wealth they want, whatever. i hate seeing people bow and scrape to unrealistic effigies of the human form. i hate to see cases of peoples' low self-esteem driving them to complete hysteric paranoia that they will somehow be kicked to the curve and left to die alone. it WON"T happen that way! gonk what can men do to convince the women they love to love themselves, and have some confidence, and to trust them, and to feel pretty, and to know that they are loved and wanted and desired? tell your husband what it is you need to see as proof, so he can get it for you. and while your at it, tell me what the secret is too, please? gonk I'd deny it but I do it myself. Then again, I know which point in my life pointed me in that behavioral direction. In my case, when I was growing up I was one of those extremely high IQ children, actually had a laboratory set up in my bedroom kid you not. Then, I get raped for several years by a family member and start flunking out of all my classes, making me miss the opportunity to go to a specialty school that was specifically designed to groom budding scientists and mathematicians, moved my way thereafter to minimum wage work, drug use, all the classic symptoms. Although recently I actually forgave the rapist and I haven't had nearly as many inadequacy issues, but again I knew specifically where that seed germ stemmed from. (It helps as well finally breaking free of the minimum wage for 15 hours a week cycle as well.) I'm going to give it more time before I draw any hard conclusions about the power of forgiveness to change one's behavioral patterns though. I'm sure Freud would still be proud. I did it mainly because of my journey into Theravada Buddhism. Forgiving a rapist is one thing I never thought I'd do previously, actually I used to think they all deserved the death penalty. Now...it was actually sort of a relief to let that hatred go. Letting go of extra baggage. And you're welcome. I wish I could be more help! If you were in the Dallas area I'd be of more support. cool
And thanks. I probably said this earlier, but I haven't made any friends here yet. The two people I know just kind of blow me off...
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