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 Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 2:12 pm
Were Jino a thoughtful friend, he might have followed Rap's lead but.. he knew what was going to happen and he wasn't intending to make it easy for anybody. He hissed softly but didn't move.
Kina started when Rap got up to wander away and she couldn't help but smile at him. Her ears flicked back when Hakan choked but she watched Rap go until his laughter couldn't be heard anymore. Then she looked over to Hakan with a smile.
"Luck, perhaps?" she suggested with a small laugh, getting to her feet to go sit nearer Hakan (making sure to kick Jino on her way by). Once she was settled comfortably, she sighed.
"Perhaps when you're done, I can help find your family," she suggested, "I'm good at finding things."
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Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 3:48 pm
He tensed a little as she stood, but relaxed when it was clear she wasn't about to dash off anywhere. For, as much as he hated to admit it, he liked her company very much. He had missed socialising with others. Missed simple conversation. Just being able to trust someone else - other than Rap - with things like his past and his family...it was...it felt like it was healing him.
The weight of all that grief and guilt over his past - when shared - seemed to become lighter. Easier to deal with. Thinking about knitting together all the torn friendships of the past seemed like an easier thing now that it was out in the open.
He glanced across at her as she sighed, suddenly aware just how close she was. "You...you would do that?" He asked, blinking. He wasn't sure why it surprised him so much. Maybe because she seemed like such a free spirit herself? Maybe because he hadn't thought that anyone would really care? But she did and...and it warmed him.
He smiled. "I'd like that." It was a simple response. "In fact, I'd like that a lot." He paused. "I mean...it's not that I don't appreciate Rap's company. I honestly do. But...he's looking to do different things in his future. Join a pride. Be of use to others." His ears drooped a little. "But, I can't join one. Not ever. It would suit him but I could never imagine being a part of something like that. And, by being with him, I feel like I'm stopping him from doing what he wants to in life. Do you know what I mean?" He sighed deeply. "Maybe if he knows there's others out there I can meet with and speak with, he'll feel better about going his own way."
He paused again, looking down at his paws. "There's not many lions in this world I'd feel comfortable talking with. But...I don't know...it's somehow easy for me to talk to you, Kina. Perhaps because you are a rogue like me. I don't know."
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Posted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:02 pm
"Sure," she answered brightly, deciding that it would be an easy thing to do once they returned from their mission. She reasoned to herself that then would be a good time to reveal her abilities, for something genuinely useful. No good would come of letting her secret slip now, she rationalized. If she had bad news they might disagree and do something foolish, if she had good news they might not be so careful. No, it took a lot of restraint not to overthink the fortunes she and Jino told and underestimate the power you had in your own future.
"Rap cares about you, even with company you might have some trouble sending him off to live his own life," she said thoughtfully, but her smile remained, "But I will help."
She didn't immediately respond to the comment about how easy it was to talk to her, though she felt similarly. It was easy to identify with Hakan, with Rap even. Maybe she needed lion company more often. Or maybe she and Jino sought out too many lions with other things on their mind.
"It's nice talking to you," she said finally, shuffling her feet a bit, "You're a good lion, even if you doubt it, I can tell." It was sad the way he had told his story, the way be blamed himself did not match the content of his story but his perspective was not the same.
"I ran away from my family," she said, offering some information about herself now that he had shared such personal information about himself, "During the war, both of my parents fought. I was young and I got scared of what was happening, what might happen to my parents, so I ran away. I didn't even tell my sister."
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Posted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:36 pm
"Thank you." He replied, touched by the simple offer of help. His family still meant a lot to him, even if he hadn't seen them in so long. He had no idea that his brother had kids, and that maybe even they had kids. Time had passed by so quickly and just the thought of it made him homesick for a home that had never existed.
No. It had existed. Home had been where his family were. But now he had lost it. But not for long. He vowed, now, to find them with the help of Rap and Kina. Then maybe he could start piecing things back together.
He looked up as she spoke again, glancing towards her somewhat curiously. She enjoyed talking with him, too? He blinked and set his ears back against his mane. She thought he was good? Maybe he had been...maybe he would be again. But...he didn't feel it at the moment, though he didn't have the heart to say otherwise. He wanted her to believe it, in any case. Because, if she did, then maybe it was true...maybe one day he could look at his face in the reflection of a pool and not see the guilt and sorrow there shining back at him. "You see something that I have yet to see. But if you see it, maybe I will too...someday."
And then he quieted, content to listen to her voice. Content and happy to listen to her story. But her story was a sorrowful one and he didn't quite know what to say to it.
"You were young." He replied after a moment. "And who knows. Maybe it was for the best. Perhaps your actions saved your life." He shook his head after a moment and looked towards her. He gathered from her words about not telling her sister, that she probably hadn't seen her family since. His heart pained for her. "Would you ever go back?"
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Posted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 9:31 pm
"Who knows," she agreed, though she had no way of knowing what would have happened if she stayed, "I won't go back, I could find them if I wanted to but there's nothing really to go back to. I heard what happened, they didn't win. My mother was among those killed and anybody who survived would have been better taking care of themselves than trying to take care of everybody." She shook her head. It was another reason she liked to stay away. She didn't have to truly deal with the loss if she was the one who chose to the leave and trying to feed someone else would always interfere with feeding yourself.
"I like being a rogue, I meant it when I said that," she added thoughtfully, smiling once again.
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Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 7:58 am
"I'm sorry, Kina." He replied, not sure what else he could say to her. To lose a parent...a mother...a heartbreaking thing indeed. He could not bear to think of losing his and hoped, suddenly, that she were not gone already without his knowing it.
No. No, he was certain that if she had...passed on, he would know it. He'd know it in his heart.
And for a long moment he said nothing, allowing the emotion of these thoughts to wash over him. He sighed, slightly, and then smiled. "Life is too short to dwell on what could have been." The thought was so sudden that to word it took him by surprise. "I realise that, now. I can't keep looking to the past in sorrow and regret else I'll feel it until the day I die." He looked to her. "Thank you, Kina."
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Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 11:20 am
She smiled at him, glad he verbalized some understanding of why he shouldn't be so hard on himself about his past. There wasn't much good in dwelling on it, she never cared to look into the past beyond proving her abilities to targets.
"Good," she muttered, beaming at him.
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Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 3:54 pm
And, with all that needed to be said now said, he settled in quietly at her side, casting his gaze across at Jino and then up to the sky above their heads.
It was perhaps best that he did not know his future. For, there was not much left of it for him.
But without such knowledge, he could take the time to enjoy the simple moments. Moments like this.
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