*~ Nephilim's Room ~*

[Lucifer Force]

Toddler Diary Entry - Post 1

It's been such a long time.

I feel like my life's been in a whirlwind for longer than I can remember, but it seems like life around the house has finally calmed down. My little one was my rock through the entire thing and for that, I can never thank her enough. She's been so sweet and kind no matter the circumstances. She is just starting to talk, I think, and I wonder if she was too shy before. She likes to come up to me while I'm in the kitchen and tug on my shirt, lifting her arms in a silent demand for a hug.

She's my diamond.

My own mother would never call me such a thing - I was an abomination to her and her kind, but I could never feel that way about Nephilim. While she is like me, I know how it feels to be abandoned by your own family, and I would never do such a thing to her. It's just not right, and not to mention heartbreaking. I've only just now seen a few glimpses of my mother and I never knew my father. Nephilim doesn't have a father figure in her life, at least not yet, but perhaps I will find one for her one day. A good male influence can never hurt a child, I think. I do often wonder what she thinks of me, and how I might be doing as her parent. When I wonder such things, I must put on an odd face, because Nephilim furrows her brow and tilts her head at me, as if I had changed in some way and she was curious about it. I think she really grounds me at times when I think too thoroughly about things.

I can never thank her enough for being herself - for being so simple and kind and innocent. I do hope that she grows into a fine young woman. As a parent, you can only guide them. It is up to the child to determine how they will mature into an adult. The thought is frightening to me in a way, because I would be giving up my role as protector after she grows too old for me. But I know I will always be her mother, no matter what, and she can always come to me if she needs me. I'll always be here.