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 Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 1:17 pm
As of the writing of this foreword, I have been in existence for nearly six years. Six years of evolution, both of myself and of the medium through which I exist. Six years isn't a very long time to exist, but on the internet, on Gaia Online, as a figment of one's imagination, it's almost an eternity.
And it is due to my relative age that small cracks in my foundation have become gaping chasms, that small imperfections in my character have become huge. This isn't to say that I should be perfect, or even that I CAN be, but there have been some bad decisions made in the past that, while somewhat insignificant at the time, had caused me to become something so far removed from Luna Edae Keth as to be another person entirely. One whose story was no longer a joy to tell, but a chore to be hurried through until the final words could be hastily scribbled into place and the book closed, locked, and thrown into the dark, dusty recesses of obscurity.
I'm happy to have been given a second chance to right things, to become the Luna that has existed within me from birth. Not everyone has the chance to rewrite their own destinies, and it's my hope that when the story ends once more, it will be my own tale upon the pages rather than a complete stranger's.
Unfortunately, many pages have faded with time; my younger years have been chronicled, but unfortunately, the details of my memories are fuzzy at best. This shouldn't be a surprise; it's normal for memories to fade, and for one's recollection of their own existence to be full of holes. But due to Gaia's changes over the years, much of the old memories that I will share will be missing much of their context. My mother's old journal entries specifically were peppered with links to specific events, and since these links no longer go anywhere useful, I am not going to add them to my retelling.
What is important, though, is that these things that I will share happened. Perhaps we'll never know why or how, but the important thing is that they did. My story has already had pages intentionally ripped and burned, and it has had pages simply crumble to dust under the weight of time. I don't want to lose any more.
So I will share the pages I have, as few as they are. I'll share the stories I can. And though the people within may be long gone, they are still very much a part of me.
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 6:37 pm
09.28.04 - Journal
Junyi
I have a bun in the oven, and it seems those around me are more excited than I am. Not that I'm not excited; I've just been really tired lately, what with running around like a crazed supermom on various legal substances being used a manner that is inconsistent with their labeling.
But. I'll start from the beginning. I find it highly unamusing that what I had filled out on my application turned out to be a falsehood. "Do you have any adopted children?" it asked. "How do you think they'll feel about your choosing to have a natural baby?" I, being the naive optimist I was, went on a long tangent about how Boyan could probably sense my maternal instincts well before now and would understand how I felt, considering the fact that he already had two children of his own.
Of course, a lot's happened between then and now, and, knowing Boyan, I honestly should've expected that he would've been too absorbed in his own little world to notice anything outside of it. Thus, the news of my impending pregnancy resulted in Boyan's first spoken expletive. Luckily, it was only a curse of surprise and not anger, and he's grown used to the idea since. Now, he is one of the many people who is more excited about this baby than I am.
His recent exploits in Dragonlamp have earned him two of the sparkliest things I've ever laid eyes on- the Celestial Chaos, he tells me. It's the reason he's turned into something of an annoyance, lately. The Celestial Chaos, as I understand it, has turned Boyan into a pre-pubescent Miss Cleo who not only knows who de fadder is, but feels the need to tell everyone except me that I'm expecting. Not only that, he does this a day before I get the letter in the mail.
Needless to say, I was not amused.
Tsukiba seems to have grandiose plans for the baby; I have to admit I'm somewhat curious at how he plans to teach my baby while it's still in the womb. Actually, I retract that. I understand how he might be able to. I'd just like to see him try.
I plan on continuing with my normal plans of coming and going into Dragonlamp. I don't feel comfortable with the knowledge that a group of Porcelain children are wandering about in dangerous territory. Tsukiba doesn't want me to go.
I'll see how I feel after I finish setting up my nursery at Anandra's place.
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 6:38 pm
A letter arrived by mail, postmarked from some god forsaken place. The Letter Dear Junyi: Sorry I'm not around for such a big event, but work has me running around in circles (or the planet for that matter) but I'm sure Tsukiba and others are taking good care of you while I'm away. Be careful not to overwork yourself now. I've never restrain you much before, but now I must ask you to not do anything dangerous!!! I will have to ask Tsukiba to keep a eye on you until I get home. Work is going quite well, I might even be able to come home before the end of the month at this rate. Lets just wish no one will blow anything in the mean time, they can mess up all they want while I'm away (but not to a point where I'm called back!) I will leave all the matters up to your capable hands and trust that you will not do anything... corruptive (^_~) until I get home (not that I want you to do it WHILE I'm there.) And please, PLEASE, don't do anything that will give me more gray hairs. Life is exciting with you, but too much excitment can shorten my life. Love Always, Yeu P.S. Tsukiba, please watch Junyi's diet. I read that too much spicy or salty foods are not good for the baby (or the mother.)
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 6:39 pm
09.30.04
It was business as usual, for the most part. Junyi woke, she stumbled around Anandra's house in a zombielike stupor, she ate breakfast, checked the mail...
And that's when everything changed.
A giddy squeal escaped her lips as she saw who the letter was from, and she had to fight to keep from lapsing into a one word-vocabulary as she read the letter right then and there.
"Yeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"
Perhaps she couldn't COMPLETELY shake the vocabulary issues.
She skipped into the house, ignoring the irritable Aeya as she moved boxes into the nursery. First, she needed paper. And then, a pen.
Finding both, she twirled gracefully before plopping down at the kitchen table and beginning to write:
Yeu-
Don't worry about me. You know as well as I that I'm not going to do anything STUPID. I'm planning on going back to Dragonlamp soon, but I don't know when.
I haven't seen Yun a while. Did he go with you? Boyan's expressed a bit of negativity about the newfound knowledge that he's now related to Yun, but he'll get over it, I hope.
Come home soon; we miss you~
I'll be sure to get rid of the spicy potato chips I bought the other day.
-J
With the letter written, Junyi fanned the paper a bit to help the ink dry before stuffing it into a colorful envelope. Quickly addressing and stamping the envelope, Junyi twirled again before leaving the house.
She'd mail it on the way to Tsukiba's.
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 6:40 pm
09.30.04 - Journal Entry
Junyi
Never before have I felt such rage.
It started innocently enough. Fork over some gold, get a digital pet. When I was a kid, I was a whiz with them. Tamagotchi, Giga Pet, you name it, I could tame it. I always had the best evolutions. I obsessively cared for them. I was a virtual pet GODDESS.
But now...
A digiKi is what spells my downfall.
It beeps; I feed it. It beeps some more. It beeps, beeps, beeps... always with the beeping.
I'll surely go mad at this rate. The beep-beep-beeping... the beeping... oh God, the beeping...
Make it stop. Make it stop, please.
In other news, I think my hormones are spazzing. I'm frighteningly emotional.
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 6:40 pm
10.01.04 - Journal
Junyi
I've completed the Construct, I believe. The core, the base, and the components are all inside the armoire. Soon, the baby will have a guardian to protect it when I cannot.
It brings back memories.
My parents have learned of my pregnancy and, while they were upset at first, have quickly grown used to the idea. They will let me attempt to support myself, but have repeatedly assured me that they will be there if (although I sensed a "when" from them) I fail.
I'm optimistic.
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 6:41 pm
10.01.04 - Journal Entry
Junyi
Still emotional. Still blaming hormones.
Anandra wasn't too thrilled with all of the sticky notes in the nursery. I don't think she's thrilled with me taking over half of the house in the first place. Even though she's excited about studying pregnancy in general, I think her patience is wearing thin.
Sigh.
So much angst do I have for no apparent reason.
I want to hug someone. Not Boyan, though, because he'll drool all over me.
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 6:42 pm
Another day, another letter. Another Letter Dear Junyi: You know I will worry about you, and you know very well that our idea of 'stupid' is quite different. And please, no more Dragonlamp trip until AFTER the baby's born. As for Yun, he's taking care of the other 'family' members back at the ranch. He expressed excitment at the news and suggests that maybe you and Boyan and the rest of your 'crew' would want to move in. What do you think? We have big enough space, although transportation is a bit... lacking. Love Always, Yeu
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 6:43 pm
10.02.04 - Journal Entry
Junyi
Boyan doesn't seem too thrilled about the idea of moving in with Yun, but I suppose it's to be expected. I feel bad for Yun, actually. The poor thing doesn't have any memory of some of the bad things he's had to do, and his ignorance of the events just seems to make Boyan angrier and angrier...
But I digress. I've still been feeling emotional and
While Junyi=dumb
........Print "Beep!"
Beep!
Beep!
Beep!
Beep!
Beep!
Beep!
Beep!
Beep!
Beep!
Beep!
Beep!
Beep!
Beep!
Bee
........I'm starting to think getting this digiKi was a bad idea. He's been causing me nothing but trouble.
...Perhaps he's simply living up to his namesake.
I'm struggling to keep a lid on my emotions; the littlest things are causing me to blow up. I think I just need to find someone or something to help keep my emotions in check...
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 6:44 pm
10.03.04 - Journal Entry
Junyi
I think my mind might be playing tricks on me, or I'm overeager to be able to communicate with my baby or something, but something weird is going on.
I've been getting the distinct feeling of mental echoes.
If I feel something strongly enough, some of the emotion gets reflected back at me. It's a normal occurrence around people; whether they know it or not, they tend to reflect the emotions of those around them to some degree.
But I feel the reflections coming from a different direction now.
Is the baby's brain developed enough for it to start DOING that? I would think my mind's playing tricks on me, but Tsukiba sensed it too.
Maybe it can start doing that; it's not projecting anything of its own. It's simply echoing.
...I'll have to look into this or ask Dr. Kamiki or something.
Tsukiba seems extremely excited about this, and I have to admit I somewhat am, too.
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 6:45 pm
10.03.04 - Journal Entry
Junyi
Hello, morning sickness. I thought you'd never arrive. Actually, I was hoping you'd never arrive, but a fat lot of good that did me, eh?
Luckily, Tsukiba came to the rescue with a concoction of something or other. I don't feel so bad right now, but I'll probably need another dose in a few hours.
It's like motion sickness, almost. Ick.
In other news, I had to smack myself today. I suppose it would take someone like me to forget the way my own people develop. Minds first, then bodies. I'm almost scared to get an ultrasound done because the doctors would probably end up getting an eyeful of what appears to be a hideously deformed alien embryo.
Well, if I go back to Neilan to get it done, then I'd probably get the same reaction because it probably looks like a cross between a normal human and a Neilani.
Does that really make much sense? Being human but not at the same time? It'd be easier if I were an Elf or a Porcelain.
On that same note, the baby is beginning to echo everything. It's a little irritating, but at the same time, somewhat cute. I suppose I have to get used to it; I'm sure when the baby is no longer a baby but a child, it will follow me around repeating every thing I say out loud.
I should start getting ready to expect more than just echoes from the baby. It's almost about that time where it'd start mentally reacting to things, if it's a normal Neilani child. Since it's not, I wouldn't be surprised if it's extremely delayed in that area.
I'd better not visit my parents until it starts reacting, otherwise I'll have to endure the stories.
"Your brother began reacting in the womb at this time, and we were afraid you were going to be severely delayed because you didn't start until halfway into the pregnancy..."
Blah, blah. Angst. Inferiority complex much, Jun?
I think it's time to beg Tsukiba for another dose of his anti-urpy meds.
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 6:46 pm
10.03.04 - Tsukiba's Notes
Junyi Jr. seems to not only be reflecting feelings, but absorbing them. I fully intend to be a good uncle to balance the evil aunt camping in Junyi's skull. No matter what she claims to be -- I've worked with brainwashing, and no longer trust an individual's evaluation of her own morals.
Junyi Jr. enjoys projections. I am not trying to teach her anything yet, as it would only confuse her poor little developing brain. Instead I am only trying to share a feeling of trust, empathy, and openness with her. If she likes me, it will be much easier to teach and communicate later on.
I am somewhat concerned about Junyi's upset stomach. I gave her the mildest potion for it I can make, but I am wary of giving her any potion at all. I am of the opinion that most unnatural magic is as bad for a developing baby as most unnatural chemicals are. We Lucid Porcelain have a very natural sort of magic that comes from our beings (thoughts and emotions,) so our potions and tonics are normally quite safe. However, Junyi Jr. obviously has an unusual mind, and so perhaps psychic magic could have unforeseen effects...
I don't think the doctors would know as well as Junyi would, since her species is apparently not well known. Junyi doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with the potions since she keeps demanding more.
I think the first thing I will try to teach is music. Some crazy humans think listening to classical music will make a fetus smarter, but maybe it is not so crazy to think that hearing, visualizing, and understanding classical music will make a fetus smarter.
But maybe when Junyi is a little more stable.
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 6:47 pm
10.04.04 - Boyan
I am still learning how tor reasd and write and teype, so I am sory for typos. I still havint learn how to spell well yet. Tyhping is hard.
Celstial Chaos tells me Junling (I will call it Junling because I do not know its gentder and do not want to assing it one like Tsukiba has) has a stronger mind thank Junyi. Already. Good geens, maybe? YEu has a strongoer ming than Junyi, and all of Junyiss familhy has a stronger mind than Junyi. Maybe it is not hard to have a stronger mind than Junyi?
Junling was very moisy last night. It woke me. Junling is aaalmost as demandng as Junyi. It seems to want lots of love- Junling is definatelhy a baby. Junyui seems surised Junling is growing so fast. At least she is present for the pregnancy and does not miss it like I missed my wifes oprregnancy. At least she will not surpris Yeu iwth a baby!
After last nights loveshower, Junling has been queit. I have been sending love its way and I know it absrbs it, but it doesn not reply anymore.
Maybwe it ehauseted itself?
Or Junling has what it wants so it doesnot neede to project?
I will give Junling lots of lvoe.
Emoticon incoming.
^o^!
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 6:47 pm
10.04.04 - Journal Entry
JunyiThank you, Boyan, for stating the obvious. Emoticon incoming. >_o My emotions have been jerked every which way by "Junling", but right now, they seem to have reached a happy balance. The baby seems content, for now, especially since it's been bombarded on all sides with affection and motherly love. I'm actually quite happy, which may come as a surprise considering my recent posts. I wasn't thrilled with cleaning up after Melody's first cooking experiment, but I followed it up with a messy cooking experiment of my own... which ended up being a great success! Of course, I'm going to have to hide the barbecue sauce I cooked up when Yeu comes home; knowing him, he'll tell me it's too tangy for the baby to handle. I've been spending a lot of time thinking of names for the baby; "Junling" and "Junyi Jr." are amusing, but hardly names I'd like to just "stick". Thus, I've settled on first names for the baby, depending on its gender, obviously. Andata, if it is a boy, and Luna, if it is a girl. Both names hold special significance to myself and those around me, but I'll not bore myself (or anyone else!) with the backstory. Yeu is helping me come up with middle names. My favorite jeans no longer fit. It's only a matter of time before I actually look pregnant. The thought makes me giddy.
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 6:49 pm
10.05.04 - Journal Entry
Junyi
I would say I feel fat, but that's an outrageous lie because I know I'm not.
Thanks to Tsukibapharmacist, I'm feeling MUCH better, and I've been puttering around the Porcelain cottage. Business as usual, business as usual. I'm working on getting my stuff boxed up to move out of Anandra's, but it should be relatively simple considering we don't even have a crib or anything yet. Right. Shopping trip soon.
I still want to go back to Dragonlamp as an NPC when Boyan forms a party and resumes the adventuring into the plot. That sounds silly, but that's pretty much what I'd do; just hang around just in case they get into some trouble that requires a mature, responsible human to bail them out.
Of course, if I did that, Yeu would club me over the head when he finds out, and Tsukiba would wait until I have the baby and THEN club me over the head. What loving family do I have.
Back to the subject of fat, though, because it makes me giggly. My stomach seems to have expanded in girth while I slept, because when I woke up, I couldn't even get my LOOSE jeans over my hips. I still don't look distinctly pregnant to the untrained eye (I assume), but I definitely notice someone is making an appearance. (Hello, Junling.) I'm sure Tsukiba will be able to notice, and he'll probably go completely ga-ga over it. However! With Tsukibapharmicist's anti-nausea potions of love, not even the most nauseating cooing will make me lose my lunch!
Speaking of lunch, I need to see about whipping out some of that barbecue sauce I made last night. Mmmmmmmmmmm.
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