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 Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 9:41 am
Hehheheeeee.....
I scrolled up too far and NOrma's favorite food changed from beef to beer. I was going to say she shouldn't be drinking that. >: o!
And I completely agree with Norma on lima beans. ;| YUCK.
I don't see anything wrong with her hobbies. But her hobby drawing seems closer to doodling. It might just be me though.
For her personality, I wish you would elaborate on her trait for being observant. Is it just people based observation or is it all around observation? Does she pay close attention to her surroundings? Is she more aware of details than others? So many things you could add to this to make Norma more realistic.
And her flaws look good. C:
SENSHI TIMEEEEEEE * U*~~~~
For her Eternal Senshi attack, the blast radius is pretty big. Instead of radius, you should consider changing it to diameter. o 3o. AoE attacks can easily be taken in as god modding. So just a little suggestion there.
And her background is suddenly a wall of text. Lulz.
But aside from that, everything else looks fine. C:
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Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 4:20 pm
Why so serious? Why is Norma so angry? I understand her anger being amplified from her family situation, but what started this behaviour? Was it from being picked on as a kid? If so, why was she picked on? Race? Religion? Opinion? Size? Height? There's so many possible points for bullies to focus on. Very interesting though that she does yoga and meditation to curb this instead of straight violence. I like that :3
I agree with Koco's comment on exapnding her Obsevrant virtue. Also, how would this be benefit her? Sure, it's nice to know what's going on, but does this lead to her having quick reflexes (in coupling with her Tae Kwon Do, I assume) or being able to perceive distances better, so as to range her focus of anger better?
"Lethargic." While it holds the possibility of becoming a well-thought-out flaw, I'm unable to see how this is a drawback to her character, rather than a little "fun fact" of sorts. Maybe it needs expansion, or needs to be replaced? Your discretion.
If you feel like adding another virtue, I think you could easily slip her "caring abuot others because of her mother's death" in there with the right focus and wording.
I kind of skipped over the senshi stuff since I'm not best at it and I'm a bit distracted right now, but I may later come take a stab at it. Overall, Norma looks like a fun character to get to know through RP c:
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Posted: Thu May 06, 2010 6:12 am
Ok, edited some more. I left Lethargic for the time being until I can think up a better flaw to replace it, or add to the general list. I'm having a hard time thinking of something else that goes with the rest of her personality. On the other hand, her relentless virtue kind of doubles as a flaw since it's sort of a lack of good judgement?
we'll see lol.
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Posted: Sat May 29, 2010 11:51 am
Hmm. One thing i have to say, 1st attack to powerful. You can't just make her first attack cough up blood! Maybe the 3rd but not the 1st!
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Posted: Mon May 31, 2010 6:45 am
Normally I would agree, but i did specify that the attack wouldn't cause any real damage internally. Take into account the rp setting, which is pretty much like an anime. People cough up blood in anime all the time without really seeming all the worse for wear, lol. It could just be ruptured blood vessels or something. Also, the blood was only a 'might' thing, if she lands a really solid blow in your stomach or something.
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2014 9:53 pm
Updated! Please ignore all previous comments as they don't really apply anymore, lol. I completely re-did the civilian portion, and have partially edited the senshi section. Thanks in advance!
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Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 6:38 pm
Hey Jolie! Let's get Norma all ready to go<3
ON THE CIVILIAN SIDE:
I'd really like some elaboration on her "Intelligent" virtue. What do you mean by "putting together information to form a cohesive conclusion"? Is she a good problem-solver? Is she a talented strategist? I'm really not sure what you're getting at here!
ON THE POWERED SIDE:
I feel like her her Eternal attack is potentially instantly deadly. A much smaller radius and less force is very much necessary - the shards should not be real and should only do limited damage. Otherwise, an unlucky person could take glass to the throat, or the eyes, or something, and uh - that would really suck.
Quote me once you've made changes or if you have any questions or concerns, and I'll be back!
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Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 8:14 pm
Thanks for taking a look! I made changes to the areas mentioned, are they good?
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Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 9:43 pm
Just a few more things about her eternal attack - what kind of damage can the shards cause? Also, what sort of force are we talking? Enough to knock someone back, knock someone off their feet, knock them a distance?
(And I realize my original crit might have been a little unintentionally harsh, my apologies! It looks worse on a second reading than I meant it to be orz)
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Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 9:58 pm
Lol it's fine ^__^ And alrighty, how about that? Right threshold of power to damage? Let me know if it's still too OP, or if I can bump the strength up a little bit, either way ^__^
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 8:30 pm
Just a couple more adjustments for clarity - how many uses does she have of her Super and Eternal attacks?
Also, I feel causing internal damage is kind of nasty for a Super -- I think I am most comfortable with only the illusion of damage on people (it hurts a lot, but does not actually like, rupture your internal organs) for both Super and Basic. Also, no objects should be really disappearing just from a Senshi attack? So the tin can could crumple, but should not disappear in on itself.
Also, how large are the shards for her Eternal attack? A point of reference is good!
Thanks<3
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 9:23 pm
Ok, how's that? Twice per battle is reasonable for a Super attack, right? And I believe I already said two times for the Eternal, but the second use is half as powerful. For the first and second level attacks I went ahead and took out the fact that it could affect inanimate objects. I figure that if it can't actually do damage to people, then it wouldn't really make sense for it to do actual damage to things.
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 9:37 pm
Okay, Basic and Super attacks look good! I just need a size reference for the shards in her Eternal attack~
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 10:09 pm
I already put one in? "...but inflict mostly blunt trauma to a person, and range in size from fist to needle."
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 10:13 pm
I MISSED THAT SOMEHOW WOW, GO ME.
Looks good!
however, I just noticed you don't have a link to the space object she's named for - could you please provide one? A quick Google search turned up nothing :C
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