Senshi can be 21, but that's the
very upper limit for them. I saw that there was some confusion about that earlier in here, so just an FYI. c:
CIV SIDE:I think you might want to split Tolerant into two virtues! Here's why:
Quote:
Just living in the city has caused him to encounter a large variety of people, ranging from burly men with hearts of gold, to stick figures with scheming darting eyes, to men and women who might not have always been men and women. Nic's come to take every new encounter in stride, accepting not everyone has the same beliefs or morals he does. Might not agree with someone else's choice of lifestyle or their decisions, but he knows he has no place to comment on their lives, just as they have no place to comment on his. Should he encounter a culture, lifestyle, or simply not agree with someone's choice of soda at lunch, Nic does all he can to stick to his choice to not comment about it. His reactions range from brushing it off to flat-out leaving the room as respectfully as the situation allows, though this obviously would depend on how unnerved or angered he might be by the situation - as understanding as he tries to be, he does have limits. Finds out his best friend's gay? Cool, not his cup of tea, but Nic's relaxed with all that. You say you're into bondage? Nic might not get the appeal, but so long as you're safe (and keep it away from him, ktnx) whatever.
You're gonna go hurt that cute cat for laughs? Now Nic is going to have to ask you to not do that, and if you shall not stop after that... how does a call to the cops sound?
When it comes to the harm of innocent people or animals, bullying, or knowingly and willingly inflicting serious damage to yourself in front of him (self-mutilation, illegal drug use, etc.), he will show his open distaste for the acts, and will respond with whatever appropriate, legal, action he can to stop it. Usually he ops for calling the cops versus getting into a fight himself, but hey.That last bit doesn't have anything to do with how he's tolerant! All the stuff in bold seems to be talking more about how he's
Just -- not afraid to point out a wrongdoing and do something about it. Good trait, but better as a separate one.
The rest of his virtue set reads off just fine! However, my main problem with his profile is his flaw set... when I read them, they all come off more as virtues than genuinely negative traits.
Taciturn: This one is just kind of confusing to me. You're saying he's a dour-looking silent type, but then he's willing to talk to just about anyone who approaches him? I'm just seeing a guy who's really polite: the fact that he seems kind of stern doesn't really work, since the flaw needs to come from the character's
personality. Not only that, but the personality trait needs to be expressed in a way that enables others to look DOWN on your character. "Looks kind of intimidating sometimes" isn't a very good reason for Nic to be disliked, or for other characters to lose respect for him.
Grudging: So... Nic is really good at controlling his temper -- the only way you can tell he's upset is by paying close attention to his body language... and then he vents his anger in constructive ways, like putting extra effort into his kickboxing practice? I get that he gets angry sometimes, but his anger
management is so impeccable that it doesn't really affect other characters at all. If you want to keep "grudging" as a flaw, you need to 1. make it more observable, and 2. have him act on it in ways
that negatively impact those around him. I'm not asking you to have him throw outright temper tantrums on people, but it should still be something that ends him up looking like kind of a jerk.
Spiteful: Okay, I'll be honest -- this one is reading off less like a flaw description and more like a rundown of how totally badass your character is. You have that he won't hesitate to take action in the face of wrongdoing, has the skills to fight people off when he needs to, and through all the adversity it entails he is still
totally cool and collected and in control. This is not a negative trait, and as a matter of fact it makes him kind of overpowered.
You DO, however, have that one bit where he'll be a total douchebag to people who piss him off. Since he's not one to approach things with much passion, you could expand that bit of it more and say he's passive-aggressive? This might ultimately be better off merged with Grudging since Spiteful is more an extension of it than an actual separate trait.
IN GENERAL: This guy's virtues and hobbies are great, but he has no legitimate failings to his character at all. You have a guy with unshakeable composure who has incredible control over his emotions, can socialize with just about anybody and has total control over every situation he's in. There is nothing about him that makes it possible for him to 'lose' a situation -- or at the very least pass on the spotlight to someone else -- and his profile doesn't have anything that genuinely gives other characters reasons to lose respect for him or otherwise find him a pain to be around.
The way he is right now he'd be pretty unfun to RP with because he's
always going to come out as superior to other characters he's interacting with. So he's not only overpowered and kind of hard to believe, but having him be this way is pretty inconsiderate to other players. Having your character 'win' once in a while is fine, but in order to be fun to interact with he needs a capacity to take a fall as well! I get that you're trying to make him cool -- and really, everyone wants to have a character who's cool. However, it shouldn't be at the expense of others' coolness, if that makes sense.
SENSHI SIDE:Sorry you have to deal with new management on the power sphere, here. XD Unfortunately, I'm really, really uncomfortable with "the Undead" as a domain for a senshi: the reason for this is that the 'undead' of this universe are youma and extreme corrupts like Alkaid. D: Having a senshi of youma doesn't really make sense.
As an alternative sphere name, can I suggest 'Reanimation?' Same basic idea powers-wise, but without the implication he's controlling or creating things under the dominion of Chaos. You could also go along just fine with Skeletons if that's more your cup of tea, though.
I think you should hunt down some alternatives for his Eternal attack because 1. he's basically summoning a youma, which is a no-go for anything but a Negaverser and 2. intelligent summons don't exactly work since they're capable of far too wide a variety of things. You have a second fighter that can adapt to the situation at hand, either of its own volition or by taking orders -- Senshi magic is meant to have a finite and consistent set of effects, and shouldn't be able to change like that.
If you had a skeleton rise from below the ground, pounce on a single target and wrap its limbs around them like a ReDead -- and that's the
only thing they do -- that would be awesome (and also run with the 'trap' theme you have going with your other attacks)! Having it act as a full-fledged 'minion,' however, is not going to fly. You can still raise a whole skeleton if that's what you really want, but it should only be capable of completing one specific task in order for it to be appropriate as a senshi spell.
His other attacks are fine, I'd just cut down the duration and use limits a bit. A normal (as in not meta-ORP) battle takes about five minutes ICly, so two or three minutes for an attack effect is a REALLY long time. That's over half the battle right there! The standard for area-of-effect attacks here is 30 seconds for basic senshi, and that seems appropriate to apply here. For Super you could bump it up to 40~45 seconds, but four whole uses of his basic attack is a bit much. Most attacks with AoE / extended duration only have one use during a normal battle. By Super he would have one use each of both! It would also be acceptable to specify "once every 5 minutes" given the usual length of normal battles.
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