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 Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:39 pm
◄I'M W R I T I N G!►
3 - 30 -10
The whole page is written over with huge, sloppy black crayon letters that fit nowhere near inside the lines.
I'M THEO AND MY MOM TOLD ME TO WRITE IN HERE. SHE GAVE ME KRENS CRANS CRAYONS TO USE, I'M USING BLACK. TODAY IS TOOSDAY TUESDAY.
I HAVE A PURPLE SISTER AND SHE LOOKS WEIRD. SHE'S ADELINE. SHE HAS HISSIES ON HER HEAD AND HER BUTT AND IS ALWAYS A BIG MEANHEAD. THE END!
There's a gap between the writing, and the second half is marginally neater, as if he had been corrected by his mother.
Today we went to the store, and my momma got me some crayons and stuff. I'm really good at drawing, but my sister isn't. I laughed at her, and she threw a crayon at me, so I cried. She didn't think it was funny. I'm also drawing a picture of her and will give it to her tomorrow, and it looks really good too. She'll think it's funny.
Okay goodnight!
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 9:44 pm
◄Mission I M P O S S I B L E►
4 - 17 -10 Today, Theodore was a spy.
Striped socks slid across the wood paneling without even the teensiest of sounds being made, as he crept up to each wall and peered around it. No one was coming? Good. Most importantly, was there anyone in the room? A few minutes of dramatic squinting and headturns later, and the way was officially stamped as 'safe'. Being the professional CIA agent, or spy, or hired killer he was, the toddler took no time in dashing around the corner and into his sister's room. Yes, all of this work was simply to infiltrate a girl's bedroom.
Adeline's room was nearly pitch black without the light on, but it was so impeccably neat that there were very few opportunities to trip and fall even if blindfolded. The walls were bare and painted a muted tone of plum, with a set of black lace curtains swathed around her window. To Theo, this was just the same as putting up a sign on the door: PLEASE, come in and redecorate! And so he was, and that was his mission today. The bee unsheathed a handful of crayons from his pocket like the lethal weapons they were, then kicked his way up onto her bed and crawled to the wall it was pushed against to begin his mural. She was going to love this.
It was nearly 45 minutes before Adeline returned to her room, flipped the light on, and screeched so loudly that the glass in all the house had the right to break. Theo giggled like mad, but had already retreated to his own bedroom behind a locked door. He'd accept her thanks later, maybe. After the hissing died down.
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Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 11:38 am
◄This page is H U G E.►
4 - 20 -10
Hi Diary
Mom says to rite write in here again so I am, but I don't know what to put becuz because you are just a stupid book. I want to go play a game instead. Mom is standing behind me and watching though, so I can't. I can go out later, when I'm done.
Stop doing that, Theo. Stop writing what I'm saying.
Okay, so I drew a super cool picshur picture on my sister's wall using crans crayons, because her room was really big and empty and boring. I used purple and yellow and black, and I drew a picture of her right next to the bed. She loved it. Mom says I can't do it again, but I will. She says that I am very talentd talented but said I need to draw on paper insted. instead. But paper isn't any fun, so I'm going to draw on her wall again. Mom says I'm not allowed, again! I AM GOING TO DO IT!!
I think, I'm in trubble now, bye.
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Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 8:29 pm
◄This is for M U M M Y.►
5 - 9 -10
"What're you doin'?"
Theo leaned farther over his sister's shoulder, and she reacted by crouching equally more over what she was doing. Her lips were pursed, and her eyes were set with such determination that it should've been enough to repel any more questions. It didn't.
"What. Are. You. DOOOOIN'?" The boy repeated, putting his sharp teeth only a fraction of an inch from the girl's ear, and was met with a backhanded swat that he only narrowly avoided. He snickered gleefully and danced around his target, standing squarely in front of Adeline's work and putting his hands on his hips. Whatever 'it' was consisted of a small square of cardboard, upon which the gorgon girl had crudely folded and glued paper to make a little scenery of flowers, and in the middle, a black kitty. It didn't look very much like a cat, but at least it was close enough to guess. Being the unobservant boy that he was, Theo didn't have the slightest idea what the heck that thing was for, but he could guess.
"I bet that's for your BOYFRIEND. ...It is, isn't it?! BOYFRIEND!"
"GO AWAY, THEO! YOU'RE SO STUPID!"
And this time she scrambled for the nearest projectile, settling on throwing a glue bottle at her brother. Her aim was so bad that he didn't even need to step away, so in a huff, Adeline hastily gathered her project into her arms and ran into the other room. She could hear her brother giggling behind her. Pretending that nothing had happened and slipping into the living room, her eyes spotted her mother sitting on the couch and she eagerly moved to her side. With a sudden shyness, Adeline cast her eyes to her knees and put the gift next to her parent, stammering something that sounded like "Happy mother's day, I didn't forget."
She was rewarded with a surprised squeak from her mom, and then a tight hug that ended with the little girl climbing up to sit, an indigo blush on her cheeks above a satisfied smile.
MOTHERS' day?
So that's what she had been up to. And she didn't tell.
Didn't have a present, hadn't really remembered. Now he was gonna look bad. What a jerk!
Theo had been watching the exchange from behind the doorframe, and had come to realize what exactly he had been missing all this time - and how stupid he was going to look now that he was the only kid in the house without anything to give his mom. He couldn't just NOT do anything, now that his older sister had made a big, ugly. THING. So the newly-grown child had to think fast about what his options were. ...Pick some flowers? No, girls didn't like weeds. Give her a grasshopper? No, she didn't like those either. And making a card was for sissies, so what did that leave?
He paused, eyes widening to impossible proportions. Now that was a good idea.
When he returned to the living room, there was an obvious swagger to his step - and his hands were hidden behind his back. The long smirk on his face wasn't hiding his immense satisfaction, because he had found his mom a gift after all. A nice one. With all the confidence in the world, and a nasty flick of his eyes over to Adeline, Theo sidled up beside Col and smiled sweetly up at her. "Happy mother's day, mum. I got you a present, you know. You're going to like it."
He could feel the intense burn of his sister's eyes on him, as Adeline had expected him to come up with nothing for this occasion. She was just going to love this, getting proven wrong. So that's when he turned over his present - a coppery glass pendant on a black cord, that could be worn as a necklace. His sister drew in a violent breath and straightened stiff as a board, her hair unwinding and beginning to hiss.
That was her necklace. He had gone into her room, and stolen something of hers, to give to their mom. She ought to kill the little runt. ...And yet, despite the obvious fury, her mouth remained clamped shut. Her eyes were suddenly beginning to swim with water, and that kept her silent.
"Oh...thank you Theo. That was thoughtful of you. It's very pretty." Colette's tone was hesitant, but not yet taking a side. She knew some kind of soundless exchange was going on between her kids, but couldn't yet decide what it was. So instead, "Would you mind going to my room and getting my purse for me? I want to use my cell phone." And Theo obediently left, jumping at the opportunity to be the 'favorite' child. There was another triumphant smile passed through the room before he left.
Being sure he was out of earshot, Adeline's mom put a hand on her shoulder and carefully placed the necklace in her daughter's lap. "...This is yours, isn't it?" There was a frustrated pout on the purple girl's mouth even as this was done, and she wouldn't look up. "It's okay to be angry, I'm sorry he's not getting along well with you."
A pause.
"Am I allowed to punch him?"
"I'm afraid not, babe."
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Posted: Sat May 15, 2010 1:31 pm
◄It's funny, because she's S H O R T.►
5 - 15 -10
So, I'm pretty tall now.
And when I say that, I mean it. It's literally insane how tall I've gotten in the past week. I used to be way short, but no. Not any more, because I'm staring Adeline RIGHT IN THE FACE and she's supposed to be way older than me. Not that it's a good thing, now I have to look at her gross face all the time because I'm on the same level as it. She needs to do something about that.
Besides, isn't she like 40 years old? No one talks about it any more but I remember hearing them talking about her catching that crazy disease that makes you young again. ....So in reality. SHE COULD BE MY MOTHER! THAT'S SO NASTY, HOW DOES SHE HAVE FRIENDS? It's like walking around with a creepy little adult who acts like a kid with an ego problem. That makes you super cool I guess.
I met some girl who Adeline hangs out with, though. Awhile ago around Easter - and uh, wow. She's just as totally awesome as my sister, except she's blue and likes to steal my things. Her name was 'Sorry' or something, which is pretty ironic because I deserved an apology for having to keep her in line. It's like she knew it would happen the day she was created.
And by the way, she tastes sour. I figured that out when I bit her stupid self when she was robbing me.
Okay I'm done, I'm going to go talk to bees now. They've been staring at me from outside my window for about three years now, I need to get some new curtains.
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Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 1:09 am
◄I could V O M I T.►
7 - 31 -10
I AM COMPLETELY GROSSED OUT RIGHT NOW AND IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY. I COULD BARF UP EVERYTHING RIGHT HERE AND NOW, I'M SERIOUS. I THINK I MIGHT.
Writing down my FEELINGS here doesn't help the fact that I could possibly be suffering permanent vision damage and mental scars. My WORDS will not save me now. I don't even want to think about what I just saw but as long as it's still in the house I will never be at peace. Ever. Do you see that I'm serious yet? Because I'll go on, there's plenty of horrors to go around. It's the most unfunny experience I've ever had in my life.
I was drinking orange juice in the kitchen, minding my own business...and it was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining, I was amazing, and somewhere in the world there was probably a swarm of bees invading someone's house. Everything was as it should be, until IT happened. Yeah, you're allowed to be surprised - is there really something so terrible that it could ruin an image of peace as perfect as that? There is. It's called my sister, who as of right now doesn't even have a name because I'm so grossed out.
She came strolling right on by, and I knew there was something wrong right away. She was walking like she had a purpose to be ruining my morning (which as we all know, is false.) and seemed to be taking up more space than she needed to as she did it. And that's when I saw what can't be unseen: it's like some giant hellish monster put on a cheap wig then squeezed itself into a tube of fabric that defies all logic. I don't know WHAT it is I saw, or WHY there was so little of it covered, but what I'm sure of is that it doesn't belong on this planet.
Or any other planet. Or anywhere.
I did what any normal person would do and YELLED AT IT until it retreated back into it's cave, but I know it's still there. And I can feel the orange juice crawling up my throat at the very thought of it.
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