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 Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 10:55 pm
=/ /= Item =/ /=
Mira and I were wandering around in the library basement when we found them... I cut my hand on mine, but when I saw it I knew it was mine. I like glass, it's pretty... It's dangerous, but pretty... But I guess I wasn't thinking about the bad things that come with glass....
I don't like fires anymore... They're not cozy like they used to be... And now I feel more pain than ever before, even though Mira doesn't... I guess glass, even though it's pretty and dangerous, is very fragile.
I'll have to be careful with myself, then.
~Aiden
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Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 6:37 pm
=/ /= Attacked =/ /=
Me and Mira were wandering around the academy when we found the Hedge Maze. It looked pretty cool but... Right as we were going to go in, something - or someone - attacked me.
My shoulder hurts pretty bad right now, but it's nothing compared to the scratches all over my arms, face and legs... and then Mira... I screamed at her to run away and find somewhere safe but... Mira's blind, she can't see without me to be her eyes...
That person... I can only remember his bright red eyes right now, but that person must have caught her, because the name "mirabelle" is carved into my arms even though I know he didn't do it to me. I'm worried... Mira and I have never been apart like this before. I hope she's okay, and that she's still alive...
Wouldn't I die if she died, though?
~Aiden
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Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 11:45 pm
=/ /= Bad Things =/ /=
I don't like these Bad Things. One took over Andy and made her try to kill a girl by choking her, and then it made her try and get Mira to attack me... I can't hurt Mira, I just can't. I don't care that it'll hurt me. I could never, ever hurt Mira regardless of that.
I saw a part of Mira that I'm a little scared of... She calls herself Satya, and I'm not really sure if she's a Bad Thing too or not. She says that she's the true Mira, the Mira that is locked deep inside of Mira herself. It's confusing... I don't like it. She wasn't very nice, she punched Andy and then said we should leave her!
Well, we're going to the Spring Ball, so I hope things will get better. Andy seems fine, thankfully. And so is Mira, now that she's really back.
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Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 12:27 pm
=/ /= Andy =/ /= I like Andy. She's nice, and she's friendly. But I can't help but think it's all a lie. Who's that happy all the time? Who can keep up a smile that big and never let it falter, even when someone special hurts your feelings?
I don't think she can, but she did... So I think she's lying about how she feels, but I won't ask Mira about it. I'll let her keep her secret. But I'll be there for her when she's too tired to keep lying, just like she promised to be there for me and Mira when the Bad Things attack.
Sometimes I lie, too.
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Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:51 pm
=/ /= Glass Doesn't Feel =/ /= I don't feel like other people feel. I can feel pain, it hurts a lot, and it makes me want to cry, but I don't feel like other people feel. I can touch things, and I feel them on my skin, just like other people do.
I just don't feel like other people do. I rely on Mirabelle to let me know, I can feel when she feels. Because of her, I can now make my own feelings. I can summon them up freely, but they're lies. Just lies.
There's a part of me that's missing, I think. The part of me that's supposed to be just like other people. I don't know where this part of me went, so I don't know how to find it. Will I find it? Am I really broken? Has my fragile form already suffered damage?
When did this happen, anyway? When did I stop being able to truly feel things without having to stimulate them? Other people don't make me happy. Mira doesn't make me happy unless I'm feeling what she's feeling.
Nothing really makes me happy. I feel sadness, I feel loneliness, I feel fear and pain... I don't feel happiness, love, a sense of belonging. I'm going to search for these feelings. I read in a book once that there's always a special person... Just one person that's meant just for you... That person will make me feel what I'm supposed to feel. I just know it.
I'm going to find that person, and make them mine. We'll be happy together, forever.
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Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 4:59 pm
=/ /= Shards =/ /= [Roleplay Entry] Aiden stared at his hand, the one with the red markings, as he watched how the red part reacted differently to the light in his dorm. He sat up, leaning his weight on the opposite arm and twisted his hand around, watching the light reflect off of the marking as if it were glass itself but Aiden knew that the red marking felt just like any other part of his body.
He sat there, staring with a strange amount of fascination for some time before he noticed something. There were small points rising out of the mark, and the harder he stared at them the bigger they got. "What the....?" Aiden moved his hand closer to his eyes so that he could get a better look. In that instant, the points shot out of his hand at about an inch in length. Aiden cried out and flung his hand outward, thankfully whatever it was coming out of his hand hadn't hit his eyes.
After a few seconds he looked at his hand again, the points were still there. He poked at one of them with his other hand, frowning. They seemed to be part of him, but the didn't feel like skin... They felt like actual glass. Curious, he pulled on one and found that his skin released it easily, without pain, leaving him with an inch long red piece of glass. "Huh... that's strange..." He set the shard down and then pulled the rest of them out and set them on the table next to his bed with a sigh.
He had already discovered that he could change colors if he wanted, but usually whenever he felt something very strong his body changed colors without needing thought. Usually just his markings changed colors but sometimes the rest of him did as well, usually with more thought.
This discovery pleased him though, the shards he produced were obviously sharp, which meant he could use them to protect Mira if he had to, and judging by their first real adventure around the Academy... He would have to eventually.
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Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 5:37 pm
=/ /= Time with Andy =/ /= Andy invited me to go to a wedding with her, but when we got there, we saw the boy that hurt me and Mira and a sister-stealing demon... So we left. Andy's cousin was there, too. I think that might have been another reason for leaving.
So Andy and I went off the academy grounds for the first time. I've read lots of books about humans, but I wasn't really prepared for what they were really like. They stared at us a lot, and whispered and made rude comments. We went to get ice cream and the cashier was so rude to Andy!
After that we went to this place that was having a karaoke competition... I can't sing, I tried once. I think I scared Mira. But Andy can sing, she can sing really well. But, she didn't win because someone accused her of cheating because she's not human like them.
Humans are so stupid and rude. Can't they see that we're really no different? Just because Andy may have a better singing talent than them doesn't mean that she was cheating... Anyway, we went home after that.
I felt something that day. Something warm and fuzzy in my chest... I wasn't sure if it was just me, or if Mira was feeling it so I felt it... But I liked that feeling, and...
I like Andy.
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Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2010 11:28 am
=/ /= How Strange =/ /= Aiden woke and immediately knew something was different. He sat up and head the snaps of stitches breaking, which caused him to look down at himself. Well... he was certainly a lot longer than he used to be from this angle. He got out of the bed, hearing a few more snaps. He knew he was supposed to be happy. He was supposed to be overjoyed that he'd grown and could move onto the next stage of his life, but he wasn't.
He felt nothing, really. That wasn't too much of a difference, but after a moment of pondering over his new teenage form he felt a drop in his chest. Had Mira grown? He hadn't seen in her a long time, she'd wandered off somewhere without so much as a goodbye and he hadn't been able to find her anywhere on the campus.
He moved to the dresser and pulled out a few articles of clothing, knowing they wouldn't fit. Once he was satisfied with his selection he began ripping them apart at the seams. He then sewed them back together in a mismatched sort of way. They were just stand ins, until he got real clothing. He dressed himself and then let out a long sigh. Time to go brave the world off campus for some new clothes, dressed like a rag doll. This was going to be a wonderful day.
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Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2010 11:32 am
=/ /= Awkward =/ /= It feels a little awkward to be older. Mostly because I don't know if Mira is older, too. I feel unbalanced, like I'm too tall for myself. I know I'm not /that/ tall, but it's not what I'm used to. I've lost my balance several times already.
I went off campus to get clothing... people stared at me a lot more than usual. Then again, I was practically wearing rags until I bought myself new clothes. I'm glad the academy gives me an allowance... otherwise I'dve been stuck wearing rags forever.
I wonder if Edmund or Andy have grown...? I haven't really talked to Edmund since the garden incident. That was... more awkward than this, I think.
And I haven't seen or heard from Andy since we went to the ice cream shop. I miss her...
Well... lets hope this time in my life is better than the last.
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Posted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 9:46 pm
=/ /= Different on the Inside =/ /=
With this new growth, I've realized that I feel different on the inside. A flutter of emotion rises inside of me every time I see a girl walk by, but it's not... it's not desire or anything like that. I have no interest is girls, actually... not really in men, either, but I supposed I get a bit of a muffled emotion from them that may be desire.
But anyway... toward girls... I sort of feel a longing? A longing to be like them, I guess. I figure when I was younger, and I wanted to be just like Mira, I thought it was admiration.. but no, I guess I really did want to be JUST like Mira. A girl.
I... I'm kind of scared.
Will I still be accepted? I just met a new person, Cedric. He was nice, young, but very intelligent for his age... I wanted to pursue a definite friendship with him, but now I'm not so sure if that's even possible...
And what about Edmund? He seemed okay with the costume at the ball, but that was it... it was a costume. Not me really being a girl. I don't want to lose him as a friend, but at the same time... can I keep pretending to be what I'm not?
And Mira...
I've never been so happy that she's blind. She will disown me. No doubts about that... I won't be able to take her saying that she hates me... so I won't tell her. If I decide to be what I seem to be on the inside, Mira will be the only one who won't know. That's if she even comes back. I have no idea where she is, what she's been doing... if she's okay...
I hope she's not struggling, and that she's not lonely or afraid.
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Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 3:04 pm
=/ /= A Choice is Made =/ /= I... I did it.
I discovered that um.. I lost one of my powers in exchange for the ability to mold glass.... so I was curious and um...
I molded myself. So... outwardly... at least on top...I'm a girl...?
I hear there are potions for that kind of thing but um... I don't... really have a lot of money... I guess those would be expensive.
The bad news is... I did it and now I can't undo it! I was just curious, I mean... I didn't expect it to actually work and it did and ugh... I wasn't... ready to tell anyone. I'm still not really ready. I just hope I can change myself back soon... I didn't exactly do a good job of molding..... ugh.
I guess I accidentally made the choice for myself. I have to talk to Edmund about it...
I just hope he accepts me as I am. Maybe he'll have an idea of how to break the news to Mira?
No.
I'm never telling Mira.
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Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 2:20 pm
=/ /= The Letter =/ /=
I didn't want to address this. This happened awhile ago, but up until now... I've been holding it in because...
it still hurts, a lot, actually... Edmund came to me and said that he received a letter from Mira.
Why didn't I get one? Why didn't she tell me she was going to the city? It's like some part of me has switched sides and stabbed me in the back. It hurts so bad, and I know I should be angry.
I should be furious.
but I can't feel it. I can't... I only feel sadness, and it should frustrate me that I only feel sadness but I can't even feel frustration! I'm happy to know where she is, sort of. She just said she was in the city.
What is she doing there? I don't know. Edmund doesn't know either.
It's cruel of her to do this, but I don't think she realizes what she's doing. It was always up to me to teach her about things, about what other people have experienced and written in their books. She can't read, how was she supposed to know that it's downright cruel to run off for months on end?
On top of this...I..
No.
I can't go there.
He is her's.
I'm going to tell him about what's going on with me, and we'll see how he reacts... he's out of the dorm right now, so I'm going to take a shower and get ready.
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 12:19 pm
=/ /= Just Breathe =/ /= Well... I really neglected to write in here, haven't I? I suppose I should start where I left off... telling Edmund.
Much to my dismay, Edmund happened to walk back into the dorm at the exact moment that my shirt got caught on my hair, so he saw the breasts. Talk about embarrassing! He was so surprised, he thought for a little while that I'd been a girl the whole time. Well, after some stammering and freaking out, we got it straightened out and he's fine with it. It was a huge weight off my chest.
I managed to acquire a switch-a-roo potion before the Secret Santa event, so I really was female by then. It was awkward then, too though because I hadn't, and still haven't, told anyone. I don't know if it's necessary though.. from now on, anyone new will just assume I've always been a girl. And I guess in a way, I have. On the inside, anyway.
Mira hasn't come back... I haven't heard from her, neither has Edmund. At this rate, I think he'll probably move on, and it will be for the better. Who ever has her probably won't let her go... I asked Nova and Avon to let me in on the information, but they refused. They said they would intervene if anything bad happened, and that it's been just fine and I shouldn't worry.
I'm kind of lonely. Mira's gone... Edmund is good company but I don't want to take up all of his time, so I have to go do other things... I feel like I've read the entire library. Exploring doesn't feel safe, not after that freak attack. I still don't really feel comfortable near that "Deskri" boy. Maybe... maybe I'll go try to make some new friends. I'm sure Edmund must be at least a little tired of him being the only one I have.
Andy is still gone, but I don't even know how she'd react to the sex change thing, so I guess I'll just... say she was a friend.
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Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 11:59 pm
=/ /= This is Impossible =/ /= Making friends around here is impossible. No one is around. I even went and explored the entire campus looking for people and seriously, no one was around. Well, I think I saw that "Deskri" boy wandering around with a girl I saw at the Secret Santa. Something seems different about him now. He's not so scary anymore, then again.. it did help that he had the most ridiculous lovestruck look on his face.
I thought he was with Andy's jerk of a cousin? Oh well... it doesn't matter.
Point is, it's impossible to make friends around here. I got invited to some girl's party though, so I'm going to check it out. Maybe I can make at least one friend so I can put some distance between Edmund and I.
Not that I dislike him or anything, no, not at all... I don't want to overstay my welcome is all and... I'm sure it's weird for him since we're still living in the same dorm and well... I'm a girl now. I guess I should move dorms but... I don't really feel comfortable. This dorm has been my home the entire time I've been here.
But it is really hard living with the person you like someone that's not the same sex as you because well... I have to either make sure he's not in the room while I change or go into the bathroom. Poor Edmund... he puts up with so much.
I still haven't heard from Mira. I kind of hope she doesn't come back I hope she comes back soon. I'm sure Edmund misses her, he doesn't say anything, but they were really close so I can only imagine. Though it would be better for him if he moved on. Whoever gets to be with him next will be very lucky. Maybe if I hadn't been a boy originally it would be me But that would require there to be some people on campus, I mean seriously... where is everyone?
I really need to get my thoughts under control.
Or get a lock on this thing so I can voice them entirely and not worry about Edmund accidentally seeing something I really don't want him to see sneaks who like to read other people's diaries. I've heard there are some kids on campus that can phase through walls...
Maybe that's why I haven't seen anyone.
I really need a lock for this thing...
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Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:33 pm
=/ /= The Violence Continues =/ /= Well, I went to make a sandwich earlier, and apparently missed the letter that went around, but thankfully I met a girl in there who was kind enough to tell me that we're no longer allowed off campus.
That is... problematic.
I'm guessing that since we're not allowed off campus because of this "incident" the Elders have mentioned, ordering stuff online will be pointless because they probably won't deliver to the school. So, there goes my shopping plans.
I shouldn't be worried about something like that. I should be more worried about our safety, and what will happen with the two that were involved. Where are they? What are they going to do with them? It should be relatively easy to figure out who it is based on classes, but what if it's someone who hasn't taken any classes with me? Or perhaps, someone who has never attended classes in person? I know I chose to do classes online for awhile, while I got used to my transition.
I doubt the Elders would do anything that would put us in harm, so I'm just going to trust them on this one. It's not like I have a parent to go running to if I'm afraid or in danger, I'm... just me. Perhaps bonding with that glass was a bad, bad idea. I don't imagine I'll last long in a fight.
I suppose I'm just going to wait for one of these outings and see if I can snag a spot. I need some more clothes... I uh... stayed out too late a few days ago and well... I thought I saw something coming at me and spiked up. Completely ruined everything I was wearing. I can't even patch it up! I also need some glass items. I found out the hard way that I can't just mold myself back together, but I can absorb glass objects to repair myself.
I say absorb but...
I have to eat it, really. It doesn't hurt or anything. It's just crunchy. And tasteless.
That sounds terrible.
I'd better go put a shopping list together, that way I'm prepared for when the outing is announced.
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