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Xx_Kosetsu_xX

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 11:01 pm


this is my idea ( its a sloppy copy lol might add stuf later if it gets accepted)

takaharu clan :the uprising


one day kosetsu kosetsu was outsidetrainnig with riyo to become a steonget luitenent. kosetsu dashed towards the clan mansion and jumped on top of its roof. kosetsu closed his eyes and said "ready riyo " kosetsu waited and riyos voice repiled " you know it " as kosetsu stood on top of the roof his rietsu started to rise higher and higher. kosetsu opend his eyes and said " BAN-KAI " .a flash of blue rietsu rises from the earth and solidifies incasing kosetsu in ice. the ice starts to break and through the craks reitsu seeps out in a beam of light. the ice explodes and kosetsu emerges from the ice with a white coat on, white hair ,two scythes and a pair of white wings on his back.

kosetsu smile as he goes into bankai.kosetsu reverts back to normal and drops to the ground landing on his feet and leaving a crater where he had hit the ground. as kosetsu touches the ground a spike of rietsu rises from the takaharu shrine just a few meters of kosetsu location. kosetsu shunpos to the shrine and sees nothing but a shrine and a well . kosetsu walks over to the well and peers in .as kosetsu stares in the well a flash of red light shoots out of the well and a necklace forms from the rietsu and drips into kosetsu hands thinking nothing of it kosetsu put it on . as kosetsu puts the necklace on the necklace glows and infuses kosetsu with dark and evil rietsu .
kosetsu takes in the power and says "the power it fells......so very good " as the evil rietsu surges threw kosetsu body riyo trys to fight it but cant and is over come by darkness and submits to it evil will.
(OK REMEBER I JUST THOUGH OF THIS AND ITS MY FIRST IDEA SO DONT CRITICIZE ME OVER THIS )

appearence: bankai sad with wings)
normal: (no wings)




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(this is my rp idea i was going to ask another person to be evil)


(NOTE: i hope people want to join because at first it as gonna be for sqaud 4 only but i decided to bring it to discussion here so everyine can join in . also im excepting ideas on it but they have to be related to this rp )
PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 6:36 am


Ummm, i dont understand, so you feel a spike of reiatsu and use your Bankai? Can you give more detail please?

Ennosuke_Arata


iCookehKaicho

PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 6:51 am


Kaicho, The former squad twelve captain, Now a member of Central 46 walks into the lieutenant hall and takes a seat in the corner, observing the lieutenants and members having this meeting,
PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 6:03 pm


oi eno i clearley just posted that its a sloppy copy and still in the making next time read the hole thing lol

Xx_Kosetsu_xX

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Xx_Kosetsu_xX

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 6:07 pm


Ennosuke_Arata
Ummm, i dont understand, so you feel a spike of reiatsu and use your Bankai? Can you give more detail please?



no and this is my first idea and its a sloppy copy of it you criticist xp mad xp lol
PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 6:26 pm


Um, not to sound mean or anything but. Could you rewrite that in such a way that I don't feel like tearing my eyes out trying to read through it? There was no flow to your words at all.

I think it may be because you used your name so many times. There are other words to reference a person than their name.

Hinote Tosatsu

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Xx_Kosetsu_xX

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 6:49 pm


stressed oi what the hell did i just say stare . i just clearly staed that it was a freakin sloppy copy lol i couldnt be more specific about those words at all do you not know what sloppy coppy means

god thats why kage is prof reading the real one now so when she is done i will tell you stressed
PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 6:57 pm


No need to get angry, just giving some constructive criticism.

Hinote Tosatsu

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Xx_Kosetsu_xX

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:00 pm


ok what part of dont criticize me dont you understand i hate people who criticize others based on things they do i just started making this rp so lay of
PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:03 pm


There is a difference between criticizing with no reason, which you seem to think I'm doing, and constructive criticism.

All I'm trying to do is give you a bit of advice, I had no intention of causing a fight.

Hinote Tosatsu

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Xx_Kosetsu_xX

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:07 pm


ok ok look dude that litle rp i just did is how it starts and that is also the sloppy coppy of the beggining

secondly : i clearly said that kage is going to revise it and make changes since i just created this


3rd: i dont like when people dont listen and read through wich is obvioulsy what either of you didnt do becasue if you read it you would have seen the part where it says sloppy coppy i will add things later


to avoid pissing me of listen and think before you say things stare stare stare evil evil evil stare stare stare
PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:10 pm


I did read the full thing. I simply have a habit of lending advice where I can. Usually when someone says something is sloppy, they want advice on how to make it better. I'm sorry if that was not the case.

Hinote Tosatsu

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The Hall of Roleplay's Past

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