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Nothing could have undone Grayson faster than tears. His stomach sank, his heart rushed, and he felt cold all over. Jude was crying. More importantly, Jude was crying for Hero, the only person who had that unique power over him, even when she wasn't present. Even when he thrust her away from himself for her own good, she still held him in her thrall, more than likely completely unknowingly. Hero had destroyed him, but that wasn't quite fair -- he had let Hero destroy him.

He dropped to the ground, shoulders hitting the pavement, and continued to stare. Then, very carefully, he reached up, brushed Jude's tears off his own cheeks.

"We are the Zodiac." Poor Magellan. Poor Magellan, standing there with her hands balled into fists at her sides, looking panicked and confused, while something beyond the scope of anything she understood unfolded. "That's not all we are, Jude."

He brought a hand up, shielded his eyes with it. It was becoming a familiar gesture for him. He swiped it down the length of his face, his tired eyes aching as he did. He sounded defeated, exhausted, when he said, "That's not all you are."

To me.

"Damn the Zodiac." He scooted up, shifting his upper body so that he could look up at Jude. "You're Jude, and you love Hero. You love her even when it hurts."

His breath caught, and he curled his fingers, raised his fist until it was lightly pressed against Jude's chest. Over his heart. "Give yourself a little goddamn credit once in a while, Jude."

The words held no venom, and his face hid nothing. He was beaten, he was sad, he was desperately wishing that he could stop the tears from falling even as he wanted to grab Jude and shake him as hard as he could.

He spread his fingers, hand shaking just slightly, palm icy cold against the fabric of Jude's shirt. And he just looked at him, too tired to pretend that he could mask anything anymore.

The hand that was on his chest gripped the shirt tighter, fingers digging in just a little bit as he watched Jude's face. He had agreed, but it was a hollow one, as meaningless and empty as anything he'd ever seen. More than the rest, more than any words that had been exchanged between them, it hurt. It hurt him to see Jude like this, to know that even while the pain of it twisted his heart, it was a thousand times worst for his friend.

His hand inched up, released the fabric of his shirt as it hovered in front of his throat, his face. Barely, his fingertips skimmed Jude's cheek, gliding on the residue of tears. They disappeared into his hair, Grayson's palm fitting flat against the arch of his cheek, his thumb resting against the corner of Jude's eye. Jude blinked, and his lashes grazed the skin of Grayson's thumb.

"You are more, do you understand?" One-handed, he held his face, violet eyes serious and intent on pink ones. Holding. "Jude Lawson is more than Sailor Sagittarius."

Because he didn't think that Jude believed him. Didn't think that he knew how precious he was, didn't think that Hero could really not love him as he said she didn't. Perhaps Sagittarius was more important to Aries than Jude was, but surely Jude was more important to Hero. Surely.

He hadn't realized it, but he'd been drawing their faces closer.

Barely a centimeter away, he breathed the words into his mouth. "You are important, Jude. Not Sagittarius. Jude."

Was he really still talking about Jude and Hero?

His lips were cold and chapped, awkward when the distance finally closed. It couldn't even really be considered a kiss; it was too brief, a rough graze of mouth against mouth, a shuddering breath passed between them. To say that time stopped would be cliché and untrue; it raced, seconds multiplying to thousands so that it seemed like they were locked there together, joined by the barest of touches, for an eternity.

And even when he pulled away, he was still so close. His heart pounded in his ears, and everything inside of him stilled.

What had he done?

Grayson had just kissed Jude.

Grayson had just kissed Jude after he'd been crying over Hero.

It was ironic that he looked the most surprised, so completely out of his element in the situation when he was the one who had initiated it. He didn't blush, either, nor did he lose any color, though it would have been hard for him to look any paler, for the shadows under his eyes to be any deeper. He was only dimly aware that Jude had spoken at all until Dani shifted behind them, boots scuffing along the pavement.

His head whipped, and he snatched his hand back as though Jude's face was on fire. It was fine that neither of the boys were blushing; Magellan's face was bright red, her mouth clamped shut tight, eyes like saucers as she regarded them. Not only had he kissed Jude, but he'd done it in front of Dani, and --

"Sorry." It was the stupidest thing that could have come out of his mouth. He turned startled eyes back to Jude, eyes that begged him not to repeat his question.

The answer was pitifully obvious.

Of course it was him.

His voice was small, sounded distant to his own ears, when he said again, "Sorry. I shouldn't -- sorry."

Jude hadn't hit him again. Grayson was dimly aware of this, and also the fact that he'd come to expect to be hit by Jude. Not necessarily the vicious backhand from earlier, the one that would probably leave a bruise that would blessedly fade quickly, but still, contact none the less. To be sitting on the pavement with Jude looking right at him, Magellan off to the side, everyone oddly quiet... Dani quiet, was too strange.

Jude wasn't even angry, or at least not angry yet. That was strange as well, and felt like the calm before the storm. Worse, perhaps he would never get angry at all; it wouldn't mean enough for him to even bother with temper, embarrassment, shame. Maybe having him yell would have been better than the bafflement, the questions.

This was why Grayson Graves never made a move on anyone.

His eyes were still wide, but a little unseeing, as he scooted back. There, some distance. At the very least, he needed distance, so he could get the smell of Jude out of his head.

Who was he kidding. He needed a senshi of time to make the moments spin backward, replace what had happened. Grayson wasn't ready to have kissed Jude, and Jude certainly wasn't in any frame of mind to be kissed by anyone, least of all Grayson. Or was he? He didn't know, and there was the heart of the entire problem --

He still didn't even understand Jude half the time.

His eyes caught Jude's again, and he swallowed. Ran his tongue along his lips, pursed them. Then, moronically, he shrugged.

"I... I don't know?" Didn't know what? Why, or why he hadn't told him? "It didn't seem like a good--"

Dani cleared her throat, and Grayson stopped talking. She seemed as embarrassed by her interjection as he was.

Awkward.