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 Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 2:10 pm
Huffing Ana crawled closer and settled crosslegged to half glare at Calla. The woman was going to go along with this plan, one way or the other she was going to get Calla to agree to this. No matter how insane it seemed. Arms crossed, her lips had settled into a stubborn pout. Honestly! You would think she'd asked the woman to jump outside and dance naked. Huffing again, one slender arm lifted and she waved one finger at the woman, much in the manner she did when she was dealing with Dante and Lucifer and their objections. "One month Calla. Just one month." Speaking slowly and calmly, her arms returned to their previously crossed position a clear sign that Ana wasn't backing down. She'd be damned if the two bickering children didn't try this. She was probably already damned anyway but that was besides the point. She knew her cousin could be just as stubborn as she was, but she also knew that a little bit of niceness went a long way with him as well. "Well just make it even more difficult for him to even try to be spiteful." A wonderful tactic that she'd used to get under his skin so many times when they were younger and even now it still worked. It wasn't any wonder Dante and Lucifer could wiggle their way out of just about anything, after all she had taught them most of that. The rest they learned like the good little pupils they were. "All I'm asking for is for you to just try and be nice to him for a month. If it doesn't change anything I swear I won't even bother bringing up this subject again." It was the truth, if the best of her plans didn't work then the two really were beyond any and all help. "Besides if you kill him with kindness you never know, he might just stop being such a b*****d all the time."
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Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 2:44 pm
As Ana moved closer Calla held her ground, she wouldn't recoil again, she had to preserve some part of her reputation here. Ana knew her far too well, she knew the best way to get to Calla was Alister. And isn't this what she wanted? Wasn't Ana laying before her the path to what she wanted from Alister? And who better to show her how to get Alister to be honest with her than Ana? Who else could show her how to make Alister be open with her than the woman who knew him best? Anastasia had already succeeded in getting from Alister what Calla wanted.
"All right." Calla nodded, really wishing she hadn't downed all her wine already, or at least wishing it would hurry up and hit her system. Or maybe it already had, and that was why she was agreeing with this insane scheme Ana was laying before her. "One month. I'll give him one month." It would be a struggle against her instincts, to lash out at him whenever he lashed out at her. She had always functioned under you get what you give, Alister had been a b*****d from the start, granted a very attractive b*****d, but a b*****d none the less, and so she had treated him in kind. Others though, such as Eustace or Abigail, they had been kind to her, and she had returned such to them. That was why she tried to be kind to the Privates of White Shadow, because they would accept her as their superior and act with kindness in return. This would be against every instinct of self-preservation. But if it got her what she wanted, if this indeed was the path to force Alister to be honest, to allow her to see what she spotted when he thought she wasn't around, then she would do it. She would play along with Ana's little scheme.
But she knew Ana's plans as well. Ana had never liked their fighting, it made her angry. And Calla knew the children didn't like it either. She would do it for them, that would be her motivation to keep her instincts at bay, her little six year old children. She had promised herself they would have a family, but was this the kind of family she'd wanted them to have? Of course not, and Ana might have just given her the method to change that.
So Calla would do it.
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RainbowMagicMarker Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 7:14 pm
Bouncing back to a slightly safer distance on the chair, Ana grinned and relaxed slightly. "A month's all that's needed really." Knees drawn up to her chest, she tucked her arms around her legs, settling now for grinning at Calla. She'd thrown the woman a figurative bone as far as her cousin was concerned. And now that Calla had taken the bait all she needed to do was rope Alister in as well. He'd be easy of course. He always was if it came to her begging. Now that she was content with handiwork for the moment she could move onto other topics. Other less...wicked topics. Maybe not less wicked but at least they would be about something other than Alister. For the most part. "At the end of the month if nothing's changed, well then I suppose there's nothing that can be done." Giving a hapless shrug, complete with feigned innocence she was still grinning. Ana knew better of course. She'd managed to squeeze a grin out of Alister in a week, she'd be damned if she couldn't get Alister and Calla to be civil in a month's time. For now she would simply have to content herself with these little plans and the fact that she knew most of the wolf pack was going to be in on the plot. That is if she could convince them that this was for their own sanity. That would be no easy task but, since when had Ana ever asked for anything less than a challenge.
Humming to herself at a plot well done she turned her full attention to Calla now. "Now that we've gotten that bit of buisness out of the way...Onto something a bit more fun." Bouncing in place she was fairly giddy with excitement at a plot well done. When Ana got bored, she tended to seek mischief and when she sought mischief, it never boded well for anyone. Especially not the 'secrets' her dare cousin begged her to keep in utmost silence. "Do remind me to drag you into the city and to my mother's studio one of these days." True she and the woman never saw eye to eye these days but that didn't mean, Ana didn't pop into the studio once in a while during the winter. The studio was a good place to hide out and let loose when she needed to. Not to say she didn't let loose at the fort but that was behind closed doors. At the studio she could scream and dance as she wanted without anyone wondering if she was serious about being a wolf rider or not. "Speaking of the studio, would you believe that's where I met Alister the first time around?" It was true, the dance studio had been the first place she'd caught a glimpse of her ever brooding and icy cousin. Back then her mother hadn't even wanted her within ten feet of the older boy unless it was for dance practice. Now when had Ana ever listened to her mother in that respect? Never of course.
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 7:05 am
Less than pleased with the idea, but resigned to her fate nonetheless, she could breathe easier when Ana moved away, even if it wasn't very far away. She had to credit Ana, the woman was a wonderful manipulator, she knew the quickest way to get Call to cooperate. The lieutenant understood now how it was she kept Alister under the thumb all the time. It also occurred to her that maybe spending so much time with Ana wasn't as good for the kids as Calla had originally thought, it was probably from her that they learned how to get themselves out of trouble and avoid punishment when they were caught. Now that she thought about it Calla was sure that was where they had learned it from. She would have to discuss this little discovery with Alister later.
Shaking her head as Ana moved on to some other form of conversation Calla leaned back in her chair and relaxed again. "Studio…?" Calla struggled to draw upon what little information she had about Alister's family. She understood that one of them at least was on the city's Council. And somewhere in the back of her mind she vaguely remembered an off-hand comment about a dance studio, was that the same studio Ana was talking about? Oddly enough Calla didn't have a hard time picturing Alister in a dance studio. "Though I would believe it I can't say I've heard much about this studio." Calla said, a devilish grin on her face. If Calla hadn't heard much about it that meant Alister wasn't telling her something, something that Ana was about to tell her. That was one of the reasons she loved Ana, not a very bit reason but a much appreciated reason, the woman wasn't afraid to spill Alister's secrets. At least, not to Calla she wasn't. And Calla appreciated it, she usually didn't let on that she knew unless she severely needed something to throw at him, but it did give her a small insight into Alister's mind. "Funnily enough Alister's never readily spoken about your family. Please, enlighten me." Calla straightened out her pants and rested her hands behind her head, settling in for whatever Anastasia was about to tell her.
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RainbowMagicMarker Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 7:08 am
The most puzzled and surprisingly angelic look crossed Ana's face for a brief moment. Calla didn't know about the dance studio? The only dance studio in the city, owned by her family along with the adjacent music academy? The puzzled look soon melted into a frown and then a slight smirk. So Alister was hiding things again. Why wasn't she surprised? And judging by the suddenly devilish grin that had taken over Calla, Ana knew she'd struck gold. Figuratively of course. "Well I can't exactly start with the studio especially if Ali hasn't spoken about our family much. Granted I can't really blame him but still." Huffing to herself as she drew her legs closer to her body and made herself comfortable. Alister never spoke about their family and for good reason, her mother had tried to drown him on two occasions, and when that had failed the woman had settled for being downright vicious as far as he was concerned. Another reason why it was wise to keep the two of them out of the same room for more than a few moments. The atomsphere generally turned sour, if not downright toxic and it usually stayed that way for a while. "Where to start, where to start?" Muttering under her breath more to herself than to Calla, Ana soon straightened a bit and rubbed her hands togther. "Let's see...I've got two aunt's one of whom's on the city council, the other would be Alister's mother...Two younger siblings on my end none on Ali's. Might explain why he's a near constant b*****d. Anyway!" Dragging herself away from that vein of thought she almost sighed and fluffed her hair again. She was rambling, rambling was not good. Ana very rarely if ever rambled. "To be honest, our family isn't exactly...easy to talk about. Especially since most of what everyone else sees are just masks. If murder wasn't illegal, I know most of my family would be dead. Doesn't stop them from trying to kill each other though." And she meant that in the most literal sense possible. "My mother tried to drown Alister on two seperate occasions and when that didn't work she settled for just being downright evil to him." She was dancing around the fact that the woman had managed to break his arm at one point too. Oh no, her mother was anything but nice. She had gotten away from most of that because she knew when to hide and where to hide. Still did but now she wasn't afraid of the woman. No one in their right mind would even attempt to attack a wolfrider especially if their wolf was present.
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Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 8:31 am
Warm, comfortable, and rather pleased with the way this conversation was going Calla listened intently as Ana went off on a babbling tangent in an attempt to explain everything at once. Though it was easy to get lost when Ana did so Calla did her best to keep while at the same time filing everything away for later use, just in case she needed something to throw at Alister later. She had understood that Alister's family wasn't he squishiest around but the fact that his Aunt had tried to drown him came a bit of a surprise. Despite the fact that she trust what Ana told her completely part of her couldn't help but label that as an exaggeration. Part of her would probably never accept the fact that families could be anything but squishy, happy, loving things. Even though the family she had here already contradicted that, what with the fighting with Alister and the mischievousness of the children. It was the same argument she always had with herself whenever the topic of Alister's family came up. The bitter envy and refusal to believe the obvious flaw in her beliefs that his family presented. The fact that her very own family contradicted her beliefs, Though it wasn't for lack of effort,
And the constant longing to know what had happened to her family. And the even deeper rage that somehow her family was the fault of her lack of memory, that they hated her so much they took her memory and left her to the Wolfriders. It was a vicious cycle that would never be broken, no matter what Calla attempted to do. All she'd awoken to that day was a slip of paper with her birthday and a girl who thought she knew Calla. To this day Calla couldn't remember the girls name, though she had a vague memory that the girl had flunked out of the Academy at some point. Shaking her head Calla curled up on the chair, struggling to fight back the tears that such trains of thought always brought with them. And hoping Ana wouldn't notice.
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RainbowMagicMarker Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 4:10 pm
Ana was aware of the fact that Calla wouldn't believe her, not many people could when they honestly thought they knew the mechanics of how a family was supposed to behave. All families weren't the caring little groups of people that they were led to believe. There were always the rotten apples, the cruel ones that would be better off shoved outside the protective wall that surrounded the city and forts and into the forest for heavens knew what to eat. They would deserve it of course. Most of hers certainly did. Sighing as her hand ran a ragged course through her hair, stopping and idly curling some of the golden-brown locks around her fingers. Not quite blond, not quite brown, a little fact that she'd been painfully aware of around the rest of her family and when her younger siblings were born around them too. Her hair rode that fine line between the two colors that dominated her family's genes. Blonde and the deep blood shot brown that rode the darker spectrum of red. Blondes and red heads, a letal combination as far as temperments went. People called blondes air heads, and she'd seen her fair share of those but the ones in her family had enough of a temper to rival the notorious red head one. Letal combination at family gatherings especially. Shaking the thoughts from her head she looked up and over at Calla and froze. Were those the first stirings of tears? She refused to believe it. The lieutenant was the last person she expected to see cry. Then again she'd seen Alister driven to the point of tears. Granted that had been pure frustration and nothing else. Curling her hair around one finger slowly, she was soon frowning. What was going through Calla's head? What had driven the woman to this point? To all the decisions that had brought her this far? Somethings Ana was sure she wouldn't find out, and she wouldn't pry. It wasn't her place after all but she wasn't about to let this slip past her notice either. "Calla?"
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Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 4:49 pm
Of course Ana noticed, Ana noticed everything. There were time Calla was convinced the woman was omnipotent, or at least an extremely good stalker. Calla took a deep breath, and another, trying to stabilize herself and push back the tears. Struggling to push back all the chaos running around her head, taunting her. When Ana called her name she only descended again though, the usual argument, part of her wanted so much to let someone know, for someone to tell her the truth about herself and about what happened to her. If Calla wanted anything of this life it was to remember, to remember or to forget and be able to move on. She was so sick of everything looming over her head like this, it drove her insane. Sure she got by, day to day, but that was really all she did. How could you be anything if you weren't even sure who you were after all?
Subconsciously Calla rubbed the nearly flesh-toned Ouroborus on her neck. That had been her vow to forget, but she had never truly forgotten. "I'm fine Ana." The words sounded dead even to her ears, "Just envious." The last part wasn't suppose to be vocalized, but she knew she had said them because they left an odd feeling to her mouth. It was the first bit of truth, she envied Ana and Alister and their family. She always would. And she hated the fact that they would never understand what it was like to not have a family at all. At least they had something, however chaotic and evil they made it seem, to call their own. Calla had nothing, she had herself and she had WoodWhisp and that was all she had ever known. A life in the City, friends, connections, if she'd ever had any of that it had been ripped from her mind and she'd never remember it. And yet here were the two people she was closest to, and they had everything she wanted. And they wanted to forget. They didn't understand what it was like to forget. "I'm.....fine."
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RainbowMagicMarker Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 6:00 pm
"Liar." The word was out before she could stop herself and even after she'd said it she wasn't sorry. She'd spent three years watching the woman if there was one thing Ana knew it was that Calla was anything but fine. It didn't take much for anyone to see something was bothering the lieutenant and for Ana it was as plain as a glaring beacon. "Liar." she repeated again this time much softer. Her blue-green eyes had narrowed, hardening and darkening to something close to the beginnings of a storm tossed sea. She'd dealt with people trying to withdraw from her under the guise of being 'fine'. Hands falling from her hair, she leaned forward hands on her knees. She was staring intently at Calla, a frown in place. Did the woman really think she would buy that sorry excuse? She'd vowed to herself not to pry but there was something about that 'Just envious' that dragged at her. She was no fool, she knew of the battles that had come up about both Alister and Calla's pasts. Those battles had brought nothing but pain and she'd seen the remains of all that pain. Well from her cousin's end anyway. "Just envious? Why?" Ana's voice had dropped a notch. A slightly dangerous notch. She wasn't about to leave this alone, not until she got what she wanted. From what she knew, her family was nothing to envy, but then she supposed the view was different from the outside looking in. A case of the grass being greener on the other side no doubt. "You're anything but fine." Her voice softened slightly, though her eyes were still as hard as ever. There was not much sympathy in her for anyone who tried to hide these things.
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Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 6:24 pm
With every word Ana spoke Calla winced. Why did she have to agree to this, why hadn't she just stayed in her Barracks and gotten some work done. Nothing that had gone on here tonight had been in her favor, she should have just stayed in her office and none of this would have come back to her. At least, not tonight. She knew she could only avoid it for so long before it would rear it's ugly head again. But when it did she was usually alone, it was usually out at the lake where she could rage and sob and the no one would be the wiser to her situation, no one but WoodWhisp. She should have known one day it would hit her when she wasn't alone, and that was why she had avoided making any friends, forming any connections, it was easier to hide her secrets that way. But Alister had destroyed that, Alister and Ana and Luci and Dani had taken away her safety net, they had left her to fall. And now she had hit the bottom, and she couldn't even see the safety she had once had. Everything had changed so quickly that she hadn't had a chance to stop it, to save herself, and prevent this from happening. By the time she'd caught up to herself she was in over her head and there was no backing out.
"I'm envious that you don’t understand what you have." Her voice was quiet and raspy, but she didn't have a choice. No matter what she said Ana wouldn't leave her be, so all she could do was give the woman just enough to get her to drop the subject. She trusted Ana with her life, but she wasn't ready for this. She wasn't ready for all this to come out and she didn't think she ever would be. All she could do now was fight to get out of this situation. "I'm envious that you have it to begin with." It didn't occur to Calla that Ana might not understand what 'it' was that she was talking about. She only knew that she was fighting off the thoughts and taunts of her own mind and trying to push back the tears before they could overwhelm her.
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RainbowMagicMarker Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 7:10 pm
Rolling her shoulders, she sighed softly shaking her head. "I don't understand because you won't explain it to me." She was being fair now though she wasn't by any means backing off. Calla didn't intend on telling her the whole truth of the matter but she wouldn't ask. Not yet anyway. "You won't explain to me, you won't explain it to Alister..so how are we supposed to understand?" Speaking softly she inched closer again, curious now. Demanding but curious all the same. Something about this conversation had sparked this sudden bit of sorrow. Something ragged that ran far deeper than Ana understood and from the way things were going, far deeper than she was ever likely to understand. But dammit it all she was going to find a way to get this out of Calla. The woman needed to get this off her chest before it choked her to death. She'd gotten things out of Alister and Calla was going to just be another challenge. "It's okay to cry you know." Voice barely above a whisper, she let out a soft breath and resisted the urge to reach out to touch the woman. She could get away with hugging Alister and all other manner of things, but Calla at this point in time she wasn't so sure her touch would be welcome. Calla was unpredictible, a curious person and to see her all but crying it all but broke Ana's heart. Still she wouldn't be deterred.
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Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 7:59 pm
It was like Calla had just been waiting for someone to say that. Tears bubbled over and spilled down her face. Had she not been so wrapped up in the taunts and vicious thoughts circling through her head she might have smiled. Calla had never had someone say that to her before, she had never cried to someone before. Whenever her emotions got the better of her Calla retreated to the lake until she was in control of herself, but this time she hadn't had that option. This time she was trapped and Ana wasn't letting up. It was obvious the woman wanted an explanation but Calla wasn't sure she could give that explanation. She wasn't sure she could voice everything that had hung over her through the years, let alone the fact that she certainly didn't want to. That was quite the last thing she wanted to do really, to tell anyone that she had no memory. She didn't know if she could handle someone else know, let alone the possibility that word could somehow get out and destroy her. When Calla had become Lieutenant she had been tempted to go into the city and search the archives for her last name, but she had never managed to work up the courage to do it. What if they had just abandoned her? Hated her and cast her off on someone else? Or even worse, what if she'd never had anyone? What if there was nothing to find?
"It's not important." Was all she could rasp out, and that's what she had forced herself to believe. It wasn't important, not knowing who she was or where she came from. She had forced herself to believe that it wasn't important for so long and struggled so hard to forget that she had forgotten. And with the tattoo on her neck she had sealed it, she would never consider it important. But it hadn't been that easy, it had continued to haunt her and she was beginning to think it would never leave her alone. No, she was sure it would never leave her alone.
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RainbowMagicMarker Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 8:42 pm
A wry smile drifted across Ana's face though it held very little humor. "You know compared to Alister, you're a damned good liar." No one cried if something wasn't important. Especially not someone like Calla. It was true Ana had her own demons, demons she wrote and hid away in a petty little journal. A journal in a place no one but her knew about. It helped, it always helped when she felt like tearing herself apart from the inside out. Her own skin was never comfortable enough at those times, never good enough for her to sit still and not rail and scream at the world. And now she was sitting just mere inches from someone standing at the edge of the abyss. The very same abyss that she'd helped to drag Alister back from for years. That first year when he'd almost drowned, she'd gotten an impromptu visit from him and had almost had to slap some sense back into him. His mother hadn't helped with that venture in the least. If anything the woman had only made matters worse, until she'd driven the older woman out of the room. That was probably the main reason why he never answered her letters. Or even read them for that matter. Something had snapped there and there was no coming back from that. "People don't cry if its not important." She said softly shrugging. "Its none of my buisness of course and I won't push you to say but if you do I swear what's said here won't leave this room." When it came to secrecy, Ana could take things to her grave if she needed to. Unless they were needed to save a life, in that case she had no qualms about telling. If only to save a lifew of course and if the person she told even thought about breeding a word of it to the fort she would personally find them and cut their tongue out.
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Posted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 9:48 am
A shudder ran through the woman, quick and violent, as she struggled to fight off the gentle call of oblivion. As tempting as it was she would never give in, she would never give up entirely. As wonderful and freeing as the idea sounded, she knew it was a lie. She had seen what happened when someone gave in, and vowed that she would never give in. But that didn't mean the call wasn't as sickly sweet and inviting as ever. And especially now was it tempting, an attempt to escape the pressing questions of Ana, the reassurances that attempt to lull her into speaking freely.
To speak freely, it was a tempting offer, she trusted Ana. Unlike Alister Ana had never given her a reason not to trust the woman. The worlds fluttered around her mind, flies she couldn't catch. They wanted to escape, they wanted to run away from her and be released unto the world, but how was Calla suppose to set them free if she couldn't even catch them? How could she let them go if she didn’t even know what they were? And never would they come close enough for her to find out. Calla felt isolated, and she hated it. And if there was ever anyone who could take her out of this bubble it was Ana, but how could Ana free her if she wouldn't even let Ana in? So many paradoxes flew about brain, and not a one flew close enough to her lips for her to let it go. "Family." It was the only word Calla could find, and part of her hoped Ana wouldn’t understand what she was trying to say. Part of her hoped for a chance to be able to take her secrets to her grave. The grave was the only place they belonged, the only place she ever wished to see them. All Calla wanted was to leave all this behind and live in the now, live in her family as it was, even if it wasn't much. There was still hope for the family she had, for all she knew there was no hope for the family that might have been.
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RainbowMagicMarker Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 3:30 pm
Puzzlement flitted through Ana in brief but vicious waves and she could only stare, helpless as her mind tried to work out all the possible meanings to that one cryptic answer. What about family? What about it was so strong that it had driven the older woman to tears?Briefly she pondered asking Shadowsong but one glance toward the den, and the look in those golden eyes told her she was on her own. Well that was so wonderfully helpful and like the wolf. She'd stuck her foot in her mouth and her bonded had no intention of helping her get it out. But she would get it out. She just wasn't sure how she was supposed to do that when she was trying her damned hardest not to stir anything else up? Making a frustrated sound, mostly at herself she bounced to her feet and began to prowl the length of the room. There was a purposefulness to that prowling as well as the first hints of annoyance. Calla had thrown her a bone, and it was left for her to chew on it until the answer came to her. She could think on very little at the moment that would drive anyone to tears as far as family was concerned. True her own family had made her feel like screaming and ripping out her hair but that was besides the point. Not everyone had a dysfunctional family like that...right? She seriously hoped not. Groaning as she drew to a stop, she threw herself onto the empty chair. "I give up." Grabbing one of the cushions she stared at it for a moment before burying her face there and letting loose a scream of frustration. Why did everyone she know have to be so damned complicated?! "Why? Why? Why?!" Each 'Why' was punctuated with a sharp cry as she banged her head against the chair. She was going to go mad, yes. That was what she was going to do. She was going to go mad and then maybe the world and all her friends and family would finally make some sort of sense. And if that didn't work well, hell she was convinced there was no making sense of ANYTHING.
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