Interview with Jessie!


~~~~~~~~~


Hey there, Jessie! It's so great to have you here!

Good day. It's my pleasure.



Okay, I'm going to get this out of the way with, because it'll be the first question on everyone's lips... what exactly are your feelings for Coline?

As I told her, there are many aspects of her personality that I admire greatly. I can identify with her - I see parts of myself in her, but she's also something that I can never be. Have you ever felt such an affinity with someone, it's as if you were meant to be together? ...That's how I feel about her. From the moment we first touched, it's as if an electric spark has jumped through my body every time I've seen her. We're just... very compatible?





Interesting. Is there any particular reason you admire these traits?

I pity the person who goes through life without a reason for anything.

They remind me of my eldest sister, Aunmysklyr. I have yet to find her equal in dignity and kindness in all my travels. She was more of a mother to me than our own, and the reason I strove to be a good person throughout my childhood when the darkness might have swallowed me whole.




Eldest sister? How many siblings do you have?

When I left my home, I shared my blood with eight other drow... living and dead. The number is probably closer to twenty by now. I was the third child born to our honoured mother, but the first son, and a grave disappointment to say the least.



You mention your mother frequently, but what about your father?

The concept of a paternal bond is foreign to my people. I do not know my father, and neither do any of my kin. Technically, we are all half-siblings... unless my mother had a favourite sire, which I honestly would not know anything about.



But... if it's not normal for your kind to have lasting relationships, why is it that you can pursue Coline?

You seem to be confusing the concept of love with the combined concept of marriage and family-rearing. My people, and I, are as capable of love as any other creature. In fact, being the poetic sort of people we are, there are many renowned epics and ballads on the subject. One of my favourites is Ryld's "L'Ssinssrigg del Keteeruae lu'Jezzara," which I still read from time to time.



Wow, I can never hope to reproduce any of the sounds that just came out of your mouth! Let's move on to some questions from users! To get us going, Panda Of The Twilight has a few that he calls 'basic!' Let's see what you make of them, Captain. "As the combat instructor to the order, What is your favorite style of weapon?"

I have been called a master of the blade. Swords and daggers are my specialty.



"What is the name of your fighting style?"

I was trained in the techniques and style employed by House Lo'Roud, of my birthplace Kiltiras. Since then I have picked up a variety of mainly human combat styles, including martial techniques such as jiujitsu. I have never tried to combine them all, but these days they all flow together quite easily.




"What brought you to your position as Combat master?"

I was made an offer I couldn't quite refuse.



"How does it feel working side by side with Lorika and Panda?"

Having learned more about Lorika, I now respect her greatly as a leader and a friend. Her struggles are somewhat incomprehensible to me, as I have never experienced the like, but I have vowed to myself to support her as best I can. Panda... well, he's Panda. I do not attempt to steer clear of him, but... whenever I'm near that man I get the impression of a mobile disaster.



Everyone's eager to have more than one shot at you, sir! Metaburo Fanmaker has a couple of questions. "What do you think of Sun Tzu's The Art of War? Does Drow society have an equivalent?"

I'm afraid I have not heard of this...



(Hey, guys! Don't expect them to have heard of non-Gaia things!)

The Art of War is an ancient text that details the military strategies and tactics of its time, and is still applicable today and influential in Eastern warfare.

I see. Very interesting. No, I'm afraid drow society knows no equivalent. Tactics and techniques are never documented, but passed down from warrior to warrior through training and explanation. The Houses control the vast majority of skilled warriors... and they are jealously protective of their own. Each House ends up developing its own unique codes of battle. There is no corroboration between forces of separate Houses, and there is sometimes spying on the practises of a rival army.

The nature of those hungry for supreme power is to trust in none but themselves. No, I apologise... to trust in none.




"What do you like about your subspecies? Dislike?"

Subspecies?! I assure you, there is nothing sub about my people, aside from subterranean. Contrary to what many surface dwellers seem to think, we are not a race of banished elves. We are not even a race of elves. We are drow. That's all there is to it.



Aw, c'mon Jessie, she didn't mean anything by it...

The unwitting ignorance of some astounds me. The next question, if you please.




O-okay... Bapp Pogum wants to know "Why are you black? I don't mean like, African-American black (no racism intended at all, just not very sure how else to phrase it) Like, your skin is just... black."

My skin is actually a very dark grey. As for my people as a whole, there are many legends, and elaborating on even one would be far too time consuming.



Anonymous wants to know, "y r u such a prikk??!"

...


No answer to that, Captain?

Engaging in a competition of insults is beneath me. I am too old for such childish games.


Aww c'mon, I'm sure he wants an answer...

Fine. My answer is vith dos.*




Maborofel has a question: "So how did you find your way into the Benevolent Order? Was it closer to 'I hate the Sentinel' or 'I agree with the Overseer'?"

As I have already explained, it was neither. I was offered a very desireable reward for providing my skills to the Order, to be used in any way desired by the Overseer and his advisors. My agreed contract binds me to the Order for six months... of which three have already elapsed.



W-what?! So does that mean you'll be leaving us soon?!

...I haven't decided yet.


Oh, Metaburo Fanmaker's back, and she has a lengthy apology for you... "Jessie-sama, I do apologize. I consider myself a species of the Homo genus, of humanoids, possibly a subspecies of Homo sapiens. I'm Homo felis uncia, I was considering you as a humanoid, thus from the same genus. I should not have included the sub. Please forgive me."

Your apology is accepted.



Excellent! She has a couple more questions, I guess to make up for the other one - "What's your favourite food?"

I am partial to all types of fruit, in their native form. I actually prefer lychees, for their strange but pleasant texture. Thin slices of well-roasted beef are also a favourite of mine.



"When's your birthday?"

That's quite a complicated question, actually, if you get into the mechanics of it. Drow measure age from the date of conception, not the date of birth. So instead of a birthday, I have a... well, the Ilythiiri word is nos'tangi. It becomes even more complicated when you attempt to mesh the surface and underground measurement of time together, and complicates my age here on the surface by around an uncertain year. In addition the event is not really celebrated amongst my people... maybe I'm getting too wrapped up in this.

I apologise. From my calculations, the surface equivalent to my date of birth is the third of November.



Do you guys have anything like zodiac signs?

The priests of Llolth often attempt to discern a personality before a name is chosen at birth. I don't believe in this practise, though. They're ridiculously innacurate far too often. Take, for example, my beloved Aunmysklyr - her name actually means a kind of necromantic witch, which could not be further from the truth. My sister Aunrae, however... no. I mustn't speak ill of the departed... and with the circumstances of Aunrae's death... well.

The sign of my birthdate is Scorpio, and the sign of my nos'tangi is Sagittarius, owing to the longer gestational period of drow. Which do you think is more accurate?


I couldn't hope to say. Nii Amikasame also has several questions for you. "Have you ever considered taking up Spirituality or Spellcasting?"

I was taught the basics of magic usage throughout my compulsory education. My honoured mother then chose, as she had chosen from my birth, for me to continue my education specifically in the path of the warrior. It's not a choice I have any reason to resent. I did not perform poorly at spellcasting... but I performed better in combat. My younger brother went on to learn the ways of wizardry. That is one of the benefits of having so many children: you can put them to a variety of uses.

As for Spirituality, being able to heal would be tremendously useful, and not only because Coline seems to have developed a habit of collapsing in my arms. However, I do not have the necessary belief to perform the work of a god, and it is not regretful for me to say that I never will.



"What is the least and most rewarding part of being a Combat instructor?"

The most rewarding part so far has been meeting and training Coline. The least rewarding part has been training everyone else.



"How do you like your clams?"

As I am not a devotee of the Overseer, I am not bound by any of the dietary restrictions he imposes on his worshippers. For some time I took meals of crusty bread dipped in a deliciously seasoned minced clam sauce... unfortunately, that chef has long since left my service.



"...Do you sleep in the nude?"

Why do you want to know?


Raining_Stardust has a single question for you. "Sir, what are your views on technology as it relates to warfare?"

I have nothing against technology. I am proficient in gun usage, and indeed always carry one on my person. I would not like to take my chances against the kinds of high-powered explosives I've seen during my time here, though... fortunately, these are things my people have never developed for themselves. I have no idea the atrocities which would be committed if they were available to the Houses. Life would certainly become much more unpleasant for everyone.

I'm sorry, I went on a short detour there. To answer your question more succintly, I believe that the human race needs to be very, very careful about what uses it puts its engineering towards. Enough lives are lost daily without the misuse of unnatural machinations.



PrinceKyo-chan wants to know "Do you love the Overseer?If not, who do you think he will end up with"

Excuse me? The implications to your question are disturbing and more than a little insulting - not only to me, but to the woman I adore and to the Overseer. I would have thought the answer to the first part was obvious, and I shall not deign to acknowledge the second.

Such absurdity.



Nii Amikasame has another question for you! She asks "From your experience, what's the most common mistake aspiring warriors make during their first few weeks of training? And how do you go about correcting this?"

Hmm. Obviously, beginners start off with no knowledge of technique. Once that technique has been taught to them, the challenge is keeping it instilled. I must say, human combatants are inclined towards laziness in their posture, stance and execution. Very rarely during practise are these flaws fatal... however, another mistake I often see - overconfidence - will prove deadly.

Correcting untidiness is a matter of beating it repeatedly into their skulls. Misplaced hubris, however, is not something I can often correct without literally beating them.



iGrunny E M O had a few questions for you. "If you had to kill some one from the Order, who would it be?"

Do you think I have a list of people I want to kill? I do not kill out of choice. If a person harmed me or the ones I love, or if they posed a danger to others, then I would be forced to act accordingly.

I suppose my answer therefore is anyone stupid enough to stand in my way.



Wow, very dramatic, Captain.

We drow are rather good at being poetic. You should meet Cressa... I've often thought she believes she's living in a full-scale theatrical production.




"Is violence the answer?"

Certainly not. Violence is often the means to an end - but no, never the answer.



Could you elaborate on that, Captain?

Let's say you were trapped in a room, surrounded by enemies. You ask yourself, "What do I do?"

An acceptable answer would never be "Kill everyone." An acceptable answer would be "Reach the door or window and escape - a course of action which will potentially require me to kill everyone in order to achieve it."



I see. What a fascinating brand of ethics! "This or That?"

Your questions have been intriguing so far, and so I shall humour you. That.



"Whose the silliest person you know?"

I don't tend to consort with silly people. None of my close circle could be described as silly, though Lorika enjoys teasing. I suppose the silliest person I know of would be the Overseer, who chooses some very silly courses of action. I don't believe he knows what he's doing half the time.




(How ironic - look who the next question's from!) O Righteous Overseer says "Could you please share with us your favorite joke?"

The question I was asked about whether or not I love the Overseer was pretty laughable.



Panda of the Twilight asks "When in the middle of a battle what would be the best advice you can give to a person to help them succeed in not dying?"

Think, remember and react.



PrinceKyo-chan wants to know "Are you going to propose to Lorika?"

...

Yes, I'm going to propose to Lorika. I'm amazed that someone finally managed to see through my facade. I may have professed my love for Coline many times during this interview alone, but now I have been found out. I admit that our relationship is a sham and that my heart truly belongs to the young Priestess who didn't even like me until a short time ago. I'd only be lying to myself to pretend any further.

I refuse to answer any further questions from this... PrinceKyo-chan. The child is obviously an imbecile.


Bapp Pogum asks "What does it take to be an instructor?"

The patience of a glacier.



Feline Godess has more questions. She asks "Given the choice which do you prefer; to kill up close with edged weaponry or from affar with a gun or bow and arrow?"

I do not like to kill. However, as I am a melee specialist, I do most of my killing from up close. I would not say it is preferential, but... I am somewhat desensitised to it, as opposed to killing from a safe distance, where you are at more of a liberty to watch your victim slowly drown in his own blood.



How many people have you killed in your lifetime, Captain?

I wouldn't like to make an overall estimate. Between the ages of seventeen and twenty I killed... fourteen men and one woman.



And yet you don't condone killing...?

Death is a terrible waste and should be avoided wherever possible. Once you're in a combat situation, however, the choice is very simple - kill or be killed. Those fourteen men... I didn't kill them because I felt like it. Once I left the relative safety of my own family unit I was exposed to the harsh winds of a ruthlessly ambitious people. They were all in self defense. Three attempted to slit my throat while I slept - one almost succeeded. Look here: I still have the scar.



...Yeowch!

Indeed. I don't think I have quite stressed enough how ruthless my home society is. It is dog eat dog at its most horrifying. If you have a rival, you spend your time scheming of ways to get rid of them. It is a terribly petty, wasteful way of living, if you ask me. My people have lost sight of their true purpose in life, and so spend their eternities squabbling over crumbs of power and success.



"Would you ever cut a person's heart out with a spoon? Do you think that would hurt more that doing it with a sharp knife?"

I would not cut a person's heart out, end.



"Can you name 5 things in this interview room that could be used as a weapon?"

I and the weapons on my person make up more than five. If pressed, however, I imagine I could use the interviewer as a makeshift club or flail.



Woah! Don't you come near me with that look in your eye! iGrunny E M O asks "Do you supposed your deep seated emotional problems come from the harsh childhood you had?"

I was not under the impression that I have any serious emotional problems. I have bad memories, certainly, but I am an adult. I deal with them. From what I have glimpsed of other people's true mental states, I am one of the more stable persons you could hope to meet.

I am still alive, however, and being alive means feeling the world strongly. Forgive me if I lose my temper or have a moment of depression or frustration. When all is said and done, I am only a man.




Let's return to a few of the earlier questions... you obviously wouldn't propose to Lorika, but would you propose to Coline?

I am not of the opinion that marriage is necessary to experience a committed, lifelong relationship which is fulfilling for both parties. However, I appreciate that it is a human custom, and if after several years Coline would deem me worthy of her hand I would have no objection to carrying out the ritual to its fullest extent.

That said, we've only known eachother a very short time. Even if I were sure that she returned my feelings, I would hate to frighten her by suggesting that she may still be in my company fifty years from now.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that questioning me on the possibilities of marriage after such a short time only indicates an immature understanding of love... that I suppose I should've expected coming from anyone under thirty.



Wouldn't you say, though, that staying together is the ultimate goal of a relationship?

...



Coline isn't here, Captain. You can speak a freely.

...Of course, it is the ultimate point of a relationship. I enjoy Coline's company immensely. I... but still, I wouldn't like to suggest to her that -



Oh, alright, I'll let you off the hook. I think what we can gather from the Captain's rather long justification is that he's willing to do anything, even keep his distance, as long as it allows her to be comfortable, happy and at his side. Is that succint, Jessie?

...I would struggle to say it better myself. Thank you.


Excellent. Now, to return to Metaburo's question - the unfortunately phrased question about your race. To try and put it better than she did... what's the coolest thing about being drow?

I suppose you're referring to the physical benefits, because there's nothing else particularly desireable about being drow...

Well, the first, obvious thing is that I'll live for a very long time, and won't grow old and feeble until very near the end of my days. In my home environment very few live past three hundred years. No one dies of natural means, unless being eaten by a giant insectoid or poisoned by a rival count as natural means. We grow rapidly to accomodate our unnaturally shortened lifespans, but here on the surface I could easily live to see a thousand years.

Another obvious benefit is that we can see in the dark. This is offset by our extreme aversity to sunlight - my sight actually unusually good here on the surface, for reasons I've never been able to discern. There are other downsides to living underground, too - our sense of smell is actually much weaker than a human's. The oppressive damp and reek of moulds just destroys that particular sense, and it's only degraded further by continual exposure to very strong incense from birth.

We can hear a little better than humans, but not as well as a dog or a cat. Our sense of touch is perhaps the greatest all-purpose sensual benefit. Yes, our hands are incredibly sensitive. I suppose the purpose was originally for feeling our way through the dark, but now it's mainly used for leaving braille-like encoded messages, playing musical instruments to a standard unequalled on the surface and... um...




And, um?

Nothing.




Aww, go on! Just between you and me?

...The other main use is erotic, actually. Running your hands over your lover's body is considered one of if not the most sensual, sexual activities you could engage in - one of the reasons I was so horrified when I found myself running my hands along Coline's waist. Needless to say, it had a somewhat different connotation to me than she appreciated.




...But she was clothed, wasn't she?

Clothed very scantily by the standards of my kind. We are never complete without many layers of thick robes... very unlike the flimsy single-layered pieces of cloth you humans drape around yourselves.




Ooookay. I'm almost sorry I asked. iGrunny E M O wants to know "Have you ever been slapped?"

Hmm, let's see... I've been stabbed, thrashed, beaten, punched, kicked, maimed, poisoned, half-drowned, half-frozen, sliced, needled, shot, gouged, concussed, bitten... I've had limbs broken, half of my throat slit, and my left eye cut from the socket. But no, I don't believe I've ever...

Of course I've been slapped. Yet another idiotic question from these clam-worshipping, youngling dullards.



PrinceKyo-chan -

I said I would not answer any more of his questions.



They're not about romance this time! He asks "Do drow go to school?"

Hm. I suppose that is acceptable. I have already made passing reference to my education prior to warrior training. We do not have a standardised school system as is present among human society. Children of the direct family line of a House will have private tutors... children of ordinary House members have a communal school. There are communal schools for common children, too. I didn't go to one of those, though. My brothers and sisters and I were all taught by Aunmysklyr and Aunrae, who were both taught by our honoured Mother.

The system is also split much more definitely than amongst humans. From the age of around four to around eight children undergo strict tutelage in reading and writing, the basics of drow history and such. Then there is a break of usually two years, after which point the child picks up his or her schooling again with a much greater variety of subject matter. There's still history and language, but now compulsory magic and combat, archery, instruments, lore and literature, composition and of course theology...



No maths?

Actually, you're quite right - there's none, outside of basic number skills, handling money and such. Nothing which could be called a science, either, outside of spellcasting.

I should also state that while the system may seem lax, those who want their children to succeed generally give greater education outside of school. For example, my sisters were all taught the harp by our honoured Mother from a very young age.



Do you play any instruments?

Cressa has attempted to teach me the harp, actually, in recent years. I can't say I'm too keen on it, though. It doesn't compare to listening to my sisters play.

I can still perform most of the dance reels drilled into us during training, though. If I could not I would consider myself something of a failure. Among the vast majority of houses, dance is a crucial part of combat training. The precision, dexterity and discipline required to pull off the complex patterns, I believe, is something warriors on the surface are often lacking.


Dancing as part of warrior training? It makes sense, though would probably be considered unorthodox here. What kind of dance is traditional to your people?

Hrm... it's actually a kind of step dance performed without music, in sync with many other drow performing the exact same reel, or sequence of patterns. I haven't actually seen its equal here on the surface...*

This kind of dancing, however, is very much limited to men. When men and women dance together the patterns of movement are still complicated, but different, with not nearly so much dexterity required. Some of the same movements are used during social dancing, but they're combined with other movements intended for the use of partners and a certain amount of physical contact.

It's very difficult to explain. If I had fifty other drow here I could demonstrate for you, but unfortunately...



It's okay, I think we got the gist. (See the notes below for some examples of wtf he's talking about!) "Do drow have their own desserts?"

Our idea of meals are quite different to yours. We don't have any vegetables, you see, or grains. Fruit is a rare and prized commodity closely guarded by the Houses. I remember the first time I tasted a fig, while dining with the daughter of House Lo'Roud...

Anyway... we eat mainly meat, as a result, seasoned with the hardy, aromatic herbs that the wizards find it very easy to cultivate. There are also plenty of mushrooms, and we do have a type of bread made from the rising agent found in certain fungi. There's also milk and cheese, taken from various animals, and reptile eggs...

I wouldn't say we have any desserts as such, though. My apologies.



Nii Amikasame has a few more questions for you, after which I believe we shall finish the interview. "Which Gaian city fascinates you the most and why?"

To be honest, I never spend much time within the cities, and when I do it is rarely in daylight, therefore I don't feel I get the true measure of the atmosphere. I believe I have an obligation to say Gambino Town here on the Isle, simply because it is the one I am most associated with.


"What's the craziest thing anyone has ever done to win your affections?"

I think that the most absurd thing any of my would-be suitors have ever done in an attempt to win my affections has actually been beating me into submission. This was many, many, many years ago, before I knew how to handle myself - and even then I didn't give in. Since then, Cressa especially has pulled some rather eccentric stunts to try and get me into her bed, but none were quite as paradoxical and misguided as that.


"Have you ever come across anyone you would consider your equal in all of your travels? If yes, can you tell us more about this person?"

You're assuming that I have a rather high opinion of myself. I have encountered many fine men and women who I would consider my superiors, taking into account their skills and many different aspects of their personalities.



"What's the true measure of a man?"

I'm tempted to recite a very poignant poem that encapsulates everything that could ever be needed to be said on this subject... however, it's rather too long.

I believe, first and foremost, that a man should be responsible. Responsible for the direction his life takes; responsible for his actions; responsible for the wellbeing of those he holds dearest. A man who has lost control of his existence is a truly pathetic creature. I have chosen many times in my life to take my fate into my own hands, and I believe that as long as I continue to hold the reins I will eventually find what I'm looking for in life.


And what would that be, Captain?

Does anyone know what they're looking for until they stumble upon it?



And on that note, we shall end our incredibly insightful conversation. Thank you so much for joining us today, Jessie!

It's been interesting, to say the least. I hope I answered all queries satisfactorily...



You most certainly did. A fascinating look into the long life of an enigma.


Stay tuned for more incredible revelations from some of our foremost figures!




~~~~~~~~~

* Vith dos = *Naughty word for intercourse* you.

** The step dance Jessie refers to is not dissimilar to traditional Irish dancing, as made famous by Riverdance. You have to admit, it looks pretty militaristic...

However, the social dancing is actually closer to a traditional coupled folk dance (though I actually prefer this one as an example because it feels more complete), but also including certain step patterns and to music such as this.

UPDATE: THIS is an even better example. Such graceful movements, and you can consistently see what they're doing!



Interview Concluded: Thursday December 24th 2009